::
2004 27 April :: 12.24am
:: Mood: Nothing really
Today was one giant nothing. Stuff happened and it wasn't bad, just nothing. I'm rather bored, if you haven't noticed. I got a gatsby test tomorrow. Joy.
Your words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe.
Yep...fun to have songs stuck in your head.
I'm looking through you, where did you go?
You don't look different, but you have changed.
I'm looking through you, you're not the same.
My foots alseep.
I really need to shower. But it'll wake up my dad and all hell will break loose. So fun early morning showers. Woooo. meaning I should probably sleep soon. Sleep can be a good thing.
My teeth need rubber bandage...I've forgotten.
Ahhh! i lost my rubber bands! I want my braces off. ::pouts:: Pooey.
Doom di doom, my mouth is dry. My bassoon teacher thinks I have asthma. She yelled at me for it today. It was weird.
I got a 2/39 on my math test. Aren't you proud? It's not a 0, that made me semi-happy. But I'm still failing. And that's not good. Mid terms this week. :-P
My dad's a jerk. I could have gotten a 36 on everything but one thing on that damn test and he would have said " You did good, except for that one 34...that's terrible. You aren't perfect. I hate you."
Oh well, it'll be done with soon. All this test shit.
Being a junior can suck sometimes. I just tell myself that next year, I get two days off this week.
If you stuck with this entry for this long, you deserve a prize.
I know I'm boring.
Ok..I'm off to go sleep maybe. ::yawn::
Night peoples.
hmm, spencer is actually letting my pay for pictures, which im happy about but i just hope he isn't disappointed. well, obviously im not paying my mom is but anyway, Spencer always insists on getting the biggest package, and my mom isn't shes getting one of the cheaper ones, but honestly i dont know what he does with them anyway, i know he gives them to his parents but yeah i dunno i just hope he's not disappointed in me... :(
Yeah, I love you all...I'm dead serious. You all are amazing people, I think I'm too connected with my friends. I'll miss you all too much. The end is inevitable. I want it to never come.
This is why I never talked before, I never wanted to get close. And now that I am, I don't regret it..it's just different. I hate it, but at the same time I don't know where I'd be without all of you.
I'd still be that quiet girl in the back of the room who never talks. Literally. If they heard me say one word, it'd be a minute or so of "Omg, she talked!" And not just jokingly. People actually thought I was a freggin mute.
Well...I don't know, I guess I'm happier now. It just...grrr...getting cose to people only leads to you getting hurt.
I wish life werent so hard...people live people die, people hurt and drama never stopps coming to the people who want it least...you know maybe this is all just cuz i joined theatre, there was no drama before then...but at the same time i guess i sorta enjoy the excitment and the roller coaster of feelings.
On a happier note, i didnt cry at all today, but i guess the 3 hours yesterday kinda makes up for that, but who knows the day's not over
ok i guess im having problems with my other journal, i cant log in cuz my username is too long, but i dunno how i got that username in the firstplace if its too long... gah i dunno i guess im just saying dont expect any updates there, ill write them all here now cuz the other one just sucks. poop.
Sleep
So, last night I slept more then I have in the past...weeks...and I am absolutly exhausted.
Mr Cougar was last night. It made me mad. The top five just sucked and it was obvious that it was just favorites from the teachers. It was just a popularity contest, just liek everything else at this school.
I went with Jill today prom dress shopping....blaaaah. The mall gives me a head ache. It makes my stomach hurt and it makes me want to collapse and die. I HATE the mall. And that's that. Jill and I tried on this dress that was $400, just for the hell of it. It was poooooooofy. Kinda funny. Imagine the most poofy dress ever, more poofy then you've ever seen...and multiply that times ten. Hehe.
I haven't stopped eating for three days now. I have to stop. But no one's home right now and the kitchen's there...just full of food and I'm not hungry, just bored. ::pouts:: Entertain me someone.
I like lemonade. It's sooo good.
Sundays suck. Because it's just one big day of crappiness leading up to the future crappiness of Monday.
This week will be....interesting. Not going to say crappy, but pretty much crappy. Two days of testing....and rehearsal and grrrr...it's crappy.
This show has gone by way too fast. The week after this week is the show. It's just like...woosh.
::sigh:: I don't know...pooooo. I need to talk to someone. But I don't know what I'd say. I thought about things for about an hour or so this morning, because I didn't want to wake Jill up (even though she was up too...but shhh..) and yeah. I hate thinking. That's why I need to be busy all the time, otherwise I think. And that just sucks.
I'm bored. Seriously bored. I don't think I'll be able to sleep too much tonight. Too mcuh sleep last night. Call me if you're bored. Trust me, I'll be bored. Just like I am now.
i just went back all the way to my first entry: 7 july...almost a year...
maybe ill just get a paperback copy cuz then i dont really need to print them cuz this is my life this year...last year was endless papers and memories and letters and drawings and this year i havent drawn much and everythings in my head and its the only thing i could put for this year...
from there, ill just write it on word and whatever...maybe ill get a money order...sound good?
cuz i really dont write in it much anymore
:: 2003 1 September :: 2.34 am
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: "colours of the wind"~Pocohontas
[ edit | delete ]
HIyA!
am going to homecoming! erm...i dont know if im excited or nervous or scared or what...well let me explain~am excited just cuz i got flowers, well basically anyway. half of it is surprise...i had no idea he was going to ask so soon. its six weeks {as stacey so kindly just informed me ::bows to stacey::} until then, and i really hope we stay together until then. am sort of worried that jackie will be mad at me, or pretend shes not yet making it so blatently obvious she is. stacey has already said "i wish i was going to homecoming", which, it is also true that she will be asked sometime during the next six weeks::again, bows to staceys time lapse statement::. I want Q to ask trixy really bad; i think they would make a cute couple, although, trix, if you are reading this, i will nto tell him to. its his decision, ive already said i think you guys would be cute together, and i explained "our plan" and he laughed, in agreeance i suppose. ooo btw, jackie and benton and i got our zoo pics today! they are really funny! well anyway. Jackie is going to get asked by benton, because wender will give way to his power, although benton may hold off as an effect to wender. ::shrugs:: eh! itll work itself out. sandy...well...i think well get her someone...i think kyle and lisa are set, even though they arent doing too well, they are too attached to break up...spencer and jillian too...i dont think they are done yet. sandy, wender could take or benton...depending...chris broke up with jenny, so he'll have to find someone! ::gasp:: am helping fritz with creative ways to ask his girlfriend...but i cant think of any...she swims which he might be able to do soemthing with...o well...post any suggestions...::sigh:: yesterday i bought a four by four piece of wallboard. am drawing a load of disney characters on it...twill be loads of fun! and then i will paint them! woo! i think i will give it to jackie or jennifer...jennifer because of her new house but jackie because she loves disney. [HammeTrucci: i was just telling him how it was perfect that i asked you out today and i was going to ask you to homecoming
battlestarre: and what did he say
HammeTrucci: yeah said "beautiful"] well...gnight...
Jillian and Jorian won the name that play contest, yay. we're awesome. but casey sucks cuz he beat us. poop.
so yeah um im bored i kinda dont wanna type for my book but i should since im really far behind and ill forget everything soon but blah i dunno. yea these are my random thoughts... hey whos keeping their jorunal? i dont wanna be the only one that stays here. everyone pay!!! pleaseeeeeeeeeee! i need to read and comment to ppls! yea ok so everyone keep ur journals, cept spencer cuz you just suck and never update anyway but yeah journals are fun. unless ppl say bad stuff then i dont like that. ok im gonna stop now bye bye
ok so i obviously have all my entries under private but im considering putting them back on noraml...yea i dunno
so crying, its supposed to make you feel better right? yea i guess it sorta does, in a way. But then afterwards you have a terrible headache, the worst kind of headache ever and then you eyes hurt and theyre all puffy and red and ppl notice and then ask you whats wrong and you just finished crying and forced yourself to get over it and then you explain it all over again and cry all over again and then its jsut crappy. Yeah thats what i was thinking about last night... i dunno. care to add?
I’m at school right now. Kinda mad, I thought we were in the library. But noooo…blah. No talking to Jillian and Jorie. Poo. Oh well. I’m just really insanely bored. I’m glad we aren’t doing anything today in history. Kenny’s just….urgh. I didn’t want to fall asleep two classes in a row.
My eye’s been hurting recently. I thought it was just a thing because I was tired, but it hasn’t left for a while and now it’s just pounding and it hurts. So I think I’ll ask the doctor when my mummy takes me for the cough. Lol, I sound like an old lady. “Look at me..I’m dying…hahahaha”
Well, I’m researching the 90’s…you know cuz I didn’t live through it. Bye then