swimfan14
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2006 4 May :: 11.22pm
Tonight is just one of those nights where I can't help but think about this.
As much as I try, it's never going to go away.
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chelthesmell
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2006 4 May :: 9.42pm
:: Mood: eh...confused in some way..
:: Music: Fire, Water, Burn - The Bloodhound Gang
So I got my hair colored today and cut. I kinda dont like it now. I liked it at first but when I got home and looked in the mirror...It's just very very...red! =|oh well...it's just hair I guess...what can ya do?
After gettin' mah hair did...Kelly, Mindy, Eddy, Kevin and I all went to buffolo wild wings or whatever. I wasn't too hungry because Ash and I ate ourselves silly at McDonalds so yeah...Kevin ate and payed for my food...haha!
I skipped golf again today. She's going to be mad at me. Oh well...golf sucks..
I think Gravid, Kelly, Mindy, and I are all going to the movies tomorrow night but I dont know if I can or not. My mama is a bitch every now and then. I have a fucking family reunion on Saturday. Mindy you should go with me! lol! That would be awesome.
hmm...yeah. I don't know. Things are weird sometimes I guess but all you can really do is shrug it off and forget about them...*shrugs and forgets*
lie awake
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chelthesmell
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2006 3 May :: 3.19pm
:: Mood: pissed with a passion
AGH!!!
So I just got my first speeding ticket no more than 30 minutes ago...! I was doing 69 in a 55 zone but he only marked me for doing 60. Probably because he saw the look on my face when he told me that my licence plate number didn't go to my car..it went to my mom's old car. And to top it off, my mom never put the new proof of insurance in the car it's still on the refridgerator. I'm so mad. I told my mom that I would pay for the speeding ticket and that was fucking it! I was almost in tears when the cop told me that. I thought right away that he was going to assume that we stole the car and then tow it away...I'm so fucking pissed. I cannot believe how ignorant my parents can be. And they will sit there and tell me for hours at a time how irresponsible I am and how I'll never make it on my own and whatnot. Then shit like this happens that completely shows they can't take care of themselves let alone their 16 year old daughter and they just kind of shrug it off and blame it on someone else. God do I hate that...So now I can't drive until my mom goes to the secretary of state and the court house and gets everything cleared up, IF she's grown up enough to do that on her own....!
lie awake
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chelthesmell
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2006 2 May :: 9.07pm
okay, I lied...one more thing to say...
Do you ever just wish very very bad things upon people you don't even know? Like, you've never even met them, but they have something that drives you crazy or something that you wish you had so much that you just wish they would die so it would be yours...yeah, I'm crazy...BIG DEAL!
5 shooting stars |
lie awake
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chelthesmell
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2006 2 May :: 8.40pm
:: Mood: Emo-licious
Hmm...I just don't know what to really say anymore. It's not like things are terrible right now, I just keep expecting things to get better soon and they don't so it brings me down and I don't really like the feeling of being down all the time.
I really cannot wait until summer! School is stressing me out so bad..I absolutely hate it. Everything about it makes me not want to go more and more everyday. I find myself getting irritated with everyone that I see. The teachers, the people, and even some of my friends. I can't stand it. I'm on the verge of quitting golf. Noone ever wants to go to the meets or to practice and when I don't want to go to a meet, everyone freaks out on me. It really annoys me when I get yelled at for really gay shit.
I find myself missing people awhole lot lately. Like Brixon. I haven't seen him in forever it seems like. And granted I did get sick of him towards the end, now I miss him so much I don't know how I was able to say goodbye. I never realized how good of a friend he was to me. One of the best friends I'll probably ever have...and I highly doubt I'll ever see him again..and that makes me sad.
I've been missing Sona alot too. Like, it kinda feels like it just hit me that she left though she's been gone a year. It's weird when those things happen to you.
I just don't really know what to do with my emotions anymore. People have told me I don't express them very much and that I should more often but then again, I don't want anyone to not want to talk to me either. I just want everything to get over with so I can just have some time to myself to think about things. I feel so messed up lately. I find myself wanting to beg for former people to come back into my life. And that's just not fair to my feelings or theirs because I know even though that's what I think I want now, it's not going to be what I want for much longer. I just wish I didn't make things so complicated all the time. I frustrate myself. *shrugs* oh well, what can ya do?
I have a hair appointment on thursday. Mindy and I are hanging out and we're getting our hair done. Granted she's scheduled for 3:15 and I am scheduled for 6 lol. But I'm going to get it layered and dyed. I am excited. I need some change around here...
*emo sigh* Well kiddies...that's about all the bitchin' and moanin' I have left in me for tonight sooo...TATA!
lie awake
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chelthesmell
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2006 1 May :: 4.11pm
:: Music: Possum Kingdom - Toadies
I realized today that I daydream alot. And alot of it is about things that I want to happen but I know they wont. I need to grow up soon. Just let things go. I hate thinking, but it seems to keep happening and I dont know what to do about that...geesh...
I'm hungry, I love food. I love food almost as much as I love Mindy...lol!
lie awake
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chelthesmell
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2006 30 April :: 7.33pm
:: Music: Emily - From First to Last
I just slept for two hours. I feel exhausted now but happy that I did that. I want to go back to sleep but if I do I'll miss Desperate Housewives...and I just cannot let that happen to me. *emo sigh* I woke up, and my pillow was soked...I guess you just shouldn't always sleep with your mouth open or something...lol.
lie awake
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chelthesmell
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2006 30 April :: 1.45pm
:: Music: Saints and Sailors - Dashboard Confessional
Well, prom was fun...both of them. The after parties were fun. Friday night was a little too much for me though I guess...lol. John explained to me though, you're stomach is like a dance club. When you get all these clowns, russians, and mexicans in there, it's not a pretty sight. Because they start dancing crazy and fighting and then the bouncer comes in and says "Okay, everybody out..!" lol. I love John...
Welp, that's my weekend in a nut shell I suppose...
lie awake
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eddy
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2006 30 April :: 1.09pm
:: Music: The Killers - Jenny Was a Friend of Mine
And post-euphoric depression sets in...
You wouldn't care if you ever saw me again, would you.
10 shooting stars |
lie awake
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jennapie
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2006 30 April :: 12.19pm
Well, it's my birthday, and what a lovely day it is too!! ahehehehe!!!
1 shooting star |
lie awake
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brokenmentality
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2006 29 April :: 2.31pm
tired as hell.
prom was wonderful. still didnt top last years, but we werent really aiming for that. it was wonderful in its own way. me and keegan went with brandi and ryan, im so glad we didnt go in a big group. we got pictures at my house, then at the rockford dam. we had dinner at mangiamo! (the exclamation point is part of the title.. odd as it is) it was absolutely gorgeous. the restaraunt itself is in a huge "old world" mansion. its italian and suprisingly wasnt that expensive. i think it'd be a safe bet to say that we ate at the most beautiful restaraunt. seriously.... lol.
i didnt really care for st. nicks. to me it was set up really awkwardly. the dance floor in its own little room thing... odd. we made it fun though. senior prom.. gotta live it up right? i couldnt have been more happier with the way my hair and dress turned out.. i felt like a princess. and keegan just looked absolutely wonderful. it was nice to see him in black for once. he's gone white, ivory, and FINALLY black. and the black definately looked best. *smiles.... i love us together.
after prom we went to steak n shake and then midnight bowling. we didnt really know what to do. me and keegan wanted to go to oasis, but brandi didnt want to. so we kind of winged it. we didnt want to go anywhere that alcohol might be... which rules out alot of the post prom parties! no worries though. keegan and i went back to his house and stayed there. this morning he even made me breakfast. aww.
all in all i got about 140 pictures. thats gonna be a pain to print!
i cant belive this was my last dance. no more getting dressed up. no more extensive hair, no more beautiful dresses. its about time though. im assuming the next time i get ALL done up like this will be my wedding! bring it on..... all the more reasons to get an expensive dress!
tonights a rampage game. i should probably get ready.
HOLY my goodness did it take forever to wash all the hair spray out of my hair. i havent yet gotten to blow drying it.. but i know thats its mega snarled.
have a good rest of the weekend.
lie awake
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swimfan14
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2006 29 April :: 4.13pm
A lot has changed lately.
My dad called me on Thursday and told me that my stepmom was moving out. I don't really know what to think of this. At first I cried but then I realized the whole reason why I was crying wasn't because she was moving out it was because I was just scared of what was going to happen and I didn't want my dad to be alone and it hurts me to see him hurt. I guess I don't really have feelings towards this. I think it's for the best. I hated her anyways. Once she moves out my dad wants me to come over Tuesday-Thursday because he is always in Detroit all week and we need someone to take care of our dogs but there's no way I'm moving in there. I'm not going to be at a house all alone and plus once Summer comes I wont even be here anyways so it's not going to work out. I don't know what we are going to do and we are also going to put our house up for sale and move too. This whole thing is really stressing me out.
So then today my uncle needed me to drop something off at my dads so I planned on going to see my dad anyways so when I'm about five minutes away my mom calls me and tells me my dad called her and said that I can't come over right now so I wanted to know what that was all about and I called him and he said that my stepmom was there and that it just wasn't a good idea for me to be there. I got pissed off because I basically drove out there for nothing and my uncle still needed me to drop something off at my dads so I just went over there anyways and dropped it off and I walked out and then my dad came after me and we got into this huge fight and it ended up with me crying and leaving.
And now my mom and I are also in a fight because of this whole thing so I pretty much feel unwelcome at both of my houses.
She couldn't take one more day
Home was more her prison now
Independence called out
She had to get it
A fight was all she needed
To give her reason
She slammed the door with no goodbye
And that it was time
Now she's driving too fast
She didn't care to glance behind
And through her tears she laughed
It's time to kiss the past goodbye
In other news besides all the bad things that have been going on, Prom was awesome. I don't really feel like talking about it because Prom is Prom but it was really weird because everyone kept telling me last night that I looked like Mischa Barton and my Prom dress looked like her Prom dress that she wore on The O.C. and the episode just airred on Thursday so a day later we had almost the same dress. Hmm..her and I ... pretty much the same person.
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swimfan14
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2006 29 April :: 1.21pm
You know what? I actually thought I wanted to be your friend and now I have no idea why. No idea.
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holiday
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2006 28 April :: 4.09pm
Charlie and I went to the Culinary Picnic today! Lots of fun. Egg tosses and water balloons, and waiter races. And I won a raffle. It was at John Ball and it was so nice out, besides the pond smelling like dead fish.
Then we went to the doctor and heard the baby's heartbeat! YAYYYYY. It was amazing. We were both grinning. Dr. Leary said the babies heart rate was in the 150s...so maybe a girl?!? :D YAY
So excited. My ultrasound is coming up quickly too. But now I have to work...
3 shooting stars |
lie awake
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