couldnt sleep so I thought I'd bitch a little...
So tonight I attended a surprise party with my friends for my close friend, Justine Wells. And of course, with Justine and the rest of my friends being hippie Jesus freaks, it was at the church that most of them attend. I didnt really want to go at first because my best friend Ashley wasnt going but I thought I'd remind Alex of how good he had it he had last night (lol). But that is indeed a different story. Anywho...we're having a merry ol time at this fiesta and then out of no where my friend Joel's dad, Mr. Ballivian approaches me. At first he calls me Ashley but then I remind him that I am Chelsea Dadd. "Oh yes, Chelsea Dadd, that's right. Well Chelsea, I just thought I'd let you know how glad I am to see you here. So it takes a party to get you to come though?" I stand there, calmly yet a little shocked at his remark. "Do you have a chruch or a youth group that you are involved in?" I just shake my head no, kind of looking away. "Well we would love to have you here. yada yada yada..." I was just kinda shocked for a minute at his request and then just shrugged it off. Ari and I sort of laugh, she knows how I feel of religion and such. Then when I tell Justine about the situation I just got caught up in, she says that she agrees with him. And she tells me this because she wants me to go to heaven. I was stunned and ferious. "Just because you dont go to church, doesnt mean you wont go to heaven!" I exclaimed. "Oh yes I know that, but do you think you're going to heaven?" "I'd like to think so...!" "Well that's good cause I dont know what I'd do without you there." Pissed...I was completely pissed!

I am so unbelievably sick of people trying to "Save Me". It's rather annoying. I am only sixteen and a half years old. I've barely lived my life. Plus there are so many religions in the world to choose from, how can someone expect someone to hurry up and deside? How can I be expected to choose a religion and promise that's what I'll believe in for the rest of my life? I barely know of many religions, how can I be expected to pick one just because all my friends believe in it? It's annoying and very preasuring how I constantly get religion shoved down my throat. It's no fair. And how they desided to pick on me out of everyone there just boggle's my mind. Trisha Wiggins and Jenny Bohaltz I'm sure dont go to church and they have the nerve to pick on my and only me!

It makes me wonder, do they sit there and prey for me? Is everyone worried that I'm not going to heaven? How can they assume such things?!

If they really wanted to know they would know that I dont believe in anything really right now at this point in my life. Like right now, yes, I have ideas of God somewhat. But I have no clue if I will stick with them. I dont believe in church. I dont believe the only way to show your love for God is waking your ass up at the crack of dawn every Sunday just because you're afraid you wont go to heaven. I dont believe that, not one bit. Yes, I prey every now and then. But I dont bug God. I think it's selfish to prey before every meal or every night before you go to sleep. I only prey when it's nessicery.

I know they just want to give me more knowledge on their beliefs and they dont mean any harm. But they dont have to do it by making me feel like I'm shoved into a corner, being told to do this or I wont join them in heaven.

It's bullshit, complete and udder bullshit.

LEAVE ME ALONE!! I'll figure out what I believe in on my own time and on my own terms. I'll figure out if I think there is a heaven or not and if I'm going to it or not. Just let me do it on my own. I'm a big girl. Let go of my hand I dont need help. If I feel like going to church, I just might. And if I dont, welp..then I wont...

And a word to the wise:: If you want people to join you in your beliefs and such, dont force it upon them. That's never cool. It's actually down right rude I think.




Dont be a dick, and dont preach to nonbelievers like God is Satan in discuise. Cause for not knowing much about religion, I know God is the forgiving type and supposibly loves all of his childern. Just because you show it more than others doesnt mean we're all going to hell and you're not.


I think thats probably the worst thing to say to someone, "You're going to Hell." That's probably the meanest thing on earth. I think anyone that says that so someone, doesnt know what they've got coming to them....


welp, I think I'm done bitching for now...BYE!

3 shooting stars | lie awake