Yeah
things are strange. waking up and staring outside, driving down the road with the window down...its like staring at an accidental gasoline rainbow, its beautiful but at the same time you cant help but question it. you know what i mean?

Yay super fun!!
ALL RIGHT HERES MORE SUPER FUN CRAZY LITTLE KID CAPTION PICTURES BROUGHT TO YOU BY MATTHEW WHETZEL!!!! YOU REMEMBER THE LAST ONES RIGHT? WITH SARAH AND THE WONDERS OF COMEPTING FOR FOOD? HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!

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not to much man
so, i have more hours at the catoring company again but i still totally need a full time job so that i can MOVE OUT...i mean i kinda sorta gave up cause i spent so much time bitching about it by the time i do move out it wont seem cool anymore and everyone will be like "matt your just a little bitch like always, cept now your a little bitch with an apartment, bitch!" and ill smile and laughing and then kill myself with more cancer. which i need to stop doing. but anyway. so yeah i guess life is at an odd odd standstill. things arent bad. things arent good.

I'm getting 80.92 cents for income tax from arbys...

Megan...not sure how to start addressing the issue.

Do you bring up past problems to fix them if your just now finding out all the really imporant details?

I should ask for some more W2's from the catoring company...cause i have gotten 3 of them...and just keep forgetting to fill them out...then i lose them and bad stuff happens to me when the IRS dosent understand how im getting such large monetary assests without having and form of a job...

But when my free time's gone will you promise me this? That you will please bury me with it?

FUCKING GOD!
i hate sundays so much. nothing to do but be alone and stuck in this house. everyone is always busy on sunday with god or something so they never want to hang so i end up dieing in this house. GAH. anyway so yeah someones a liar...wonder who it is.

it was then
I miss alot of things about my highschool life...i most of all miss the summer before junior year...and the summer after junior year...when life wasnt so fucking hard and things were kinda fun...i miss the way i was and the way i used to think about life and its hardships and its mysterious things...i miss the darkness and a way too early cerfew being enough to stay alive....god damn i miss my heart. and i miss my old true friends...the ones i dont talk to anymore because im always so tired or in class or working and i make up these lame excses when i know even if i cant move my muscles i should still call them to hang cause thats why friends do...but im afraid of how they might have changed without me. Do they still want me around at all? am i welcome near their new lives? a half a semester has passed without me in it....im sure alot of thigns and people and faces have changed...stuff cant stay the same forever. im scared

best time of the year
Anyone know of any truly scary shit going down around our side of michigan this halloween season? dont say the haunt cause everyone knows that i just want to know if there is anything else thats supposed to be scary as shit? if you know of anything please tell me...also anyone having any kicking halloween partys?

Some day i will die.
Sitting in the grass outside of town staring into a dark and cloudy sky with the wind blowing fierce as hell into my face and my hair going everywhere and slapping my cheeks and pricking my eyes and forcing them to water...i couldnt have been happier. i hate sunny days. i wish every fucking day was cold windy and dark...things just feel better on days like today. so while i was sitting there i kinda thought to myself...what the fuck? i mean like i want to feel so happy and free...and i fucking had the chance...the perfect chance in life to just go and be alive and free....i fucking threw it away....and why? i dont really know. i mean i thought about it later tonight when i was at ihop with sam. why didnt i take my chance and run away to detroit. would it have been coward like to run away from all my problems like that? was i afraid i was going to hurt someone or something? theres no one here who loves me, so im not going to fucking leave anyone behind who would fucking die without me . so i didnt go...obviously and im kinda regretting it...but i also think. i kinda want to really earn my freedom. and quitting my job was the best thing for me right now. the first real step to getting away. im sure you think im fucking stupid for doing it especially with all the expenses i have right now. BUT i dont fucking care. it was the best thing i could have done for myself. im away from that low paying assine time consuming smelly hell. so ive got a couple jobs that look promising god damn i hope one comes through for me soon and fast god please. so yeah hopefully ill get this new job and money will no longer be a problem and for gods good sake ill be able to start saving a little money fucking christ. you know. anyway. so yeah i was a fucking dick to alot of people and i realize that i talk out of my ass alot about issues i dont have place to stick my nose in. im admitting it and stopping it sorry. really i am fucking sorry. and i thank a certain person for accepting the fact that i fucked up and forgiving me today. you know who you are so thanks. and im sorry if anyone else was pissed the fuck off by me. im really sorry. im done with that sticking my nose anywhere i can bullshit. i realize i stay in my life and my bussiness....not yours. sorry. seriously. anyway other than that wow...i suck. and life is still feeling kinda good even though things sorta fucking suck....when it comes to money issues. but yeah ill get over it. sorry bitches. so im rambling now cause im all out of things to say. i love life and all of you. sorry. o and a really big sorry to a couple of folks. SORRY STACY. SORRY JAY. SORRY DERRIK. yeah thats it.

Alright...Just Alright
Maybe this world aint such a bad place after all you know?

I mean there are troubling times, i just got out of 3, so im not saying its perfect.

But maybe its just alright from time to time.

We are all gonna make it through somehow.

Im done worrying so fucking much.

I've made my first big mistake...i was scared big time. but after i fixed it i realize how imporant making those big mistakes is to forming your personality. and now im ready to make some more....just with more insignt this time.

Life Is Good.