Jaunty
I downloaded Ubuntu today. It is pretty cool.
Except a bunch of things didn't install correctly or automatically so I spent the first two hours fumbling around the internets and learning new things by stumbling blindly into terms I'd never heard before in my life.
I did get to relive fun DOS times in a place called Terminal. It made me feel like I was 6 again and booting up Lion King Print Studio. I never printed anything, we didn't have a printer. I just made cards. And didn't save them. P.S. Windows 3.1 and that cat/mouse cheese game, you will always have a special place in my heart.
Anyway, Ubuntu. It is good. And gorgeous. And my computer does not chug up or burn my fingerprints off.
And that, children, is progress.
P.S. I don't know where Ubuntu is getting its weather reports from but it is eerily accurate. It was raining earlier and it said rain. Then it stopped and was very windy and it said windy and cloudy. Now it started raining again and it says it is raining. I may never have to leave the house again.
“The Camaro is a big tranny mess getting ready for a night on the piers.”
And maybe I’m wrong, but I think you’d be hard pressed to find a straight guy who wouldn’t want to fuck a dude, so long as he was this wickedly good looking, magnetic to all who entered his orbit, able to rip off a sub-5-second 0-60 time, and had some boobs.
The Great American Challenge is the world’s biggest dildo. It’s 15 inches from tip to base, has an “insertable” length of 10.5 inches, a diameter of approximately three inches at its meatiest, and weighs nearly five pounds when loaded up with the batteries that control its vibrating mechanism. Why do I mention this, aside from my contractual obligation work a penile reference into every single review? Because I recently spent some time with the Dodge Challenger, and in addition to some rather obvious nomenclatural similarities—the car is American, and has the word Challenge inserted 10.5 inches into its name—it reminded me of this tool in a number of different ways: They both come in a range of indiscreet, but oddly compelling, colors. They’re both styled and proportioned so as to evoke an aura of power, raunch, seduction, and terror in near equal measures. Each is significantly larger than a two-liter bottle of Sprite. And they’re both far more appealing to look at than to actually use. (Also, ownership of either one is guaranteed to elicit accusations of overcompensating.)
Just watched the VMA’s. I dislike Kanye even more than I did before. Three good performances: Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and Pink. I really liked Pink’s performance, if only for the hot guy with her. I’m liking Beyonce more now, that was nice reintroduction for Taylor Swift.
I’m also really looking forward to New Moon. I got all caught up on the Sookie Stackhouse series, so I re-read the Twilight series. I’m amazed at how a poor author (Charlaine Harris) can keep me interested. I remember reading the Twilight series and thinking Stephenie Meyer needed a better editor. Now after the second reading I can appreciate how much better that series is. HBO has done a great job turning Harris’ books into a TV show.
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2009 24 August :: 9.49pm
:: Music: Regina Spektor- Folding Chair
i'm not gone.
Let's get a silver bullet trailer and have a baby boy,
I'll safety pin his clothes all cool and you'll graffiti up his toys.
I've got a perfect body, but sometimes I forget,
I've got a perfect body, 'cause my eyelashes catch my sweat.
I attempted to purchase a car today. I first called Markquart Scion (my local dealer) and was appalled by the attitude of the saleswoman I spoke with. After a very unsuccessful phone call, I called Inner Grove Scion. I spoke with a very helpful woman named Bridget. While her dealership did not have the vehicle I wanted in stock, she did check area dealerships and found one that did. She gave me the contact information for Tom Kennedy at another dealership (I can’t remember the dealer’s name). I left a message with him at ten o’clock this morning and as of 8 o’clock this evening I have yet to receive a call back.
I am very disappointed because today was the last day for “Cash for Clunkers”, and I am now unable to take advantage of this program. I am amazed that I received acceptable service at only one of the three Scion dealerships that I called. If this is what I can expect from the shopping experience from Scion/Toyota/Lexus, I can safely say that my money will be spent elsewhere. I will also be sure to share today’s experience with my friends and family.
Based on your score:
LoveGame. You know that being you’re fully committed to your quest for fame doesn’t mean you can’t take a detour here and there to find the perfect disco stick to ride. Your ass has been squeezed by sexy cupid, so your mission to take over the world one sequin at a time unashamedly includes healthy doses of both glamour and heavy touching.
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2009 9 August :: 12.31am
:: Music: Take Me to the Riot by Stars
Warning: Rambling Ahead
Nick asked what The Time Traveler's Wife was all about and I told him. He was all
WHAT
THE
FUCK
Life Update: I didn't pass the test in Sault Ste Marie because it had things like math and history on it. Those will get me every single time.
We saw Away We Go today and it was fantastic. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Nick was at his computer and just turned around and said "if we leave right now, we have 13 minutes to get across the street to see Away We Go." And so we went. It made me feel all fuzzy and happy. And then I had to go to the bathroom and peed THE WORLD'S LONGEST PEE and I was afraid I was going to be peeing for the rest of my life and Nick was going to have to sneak me food because I was in the women's restroom and I hope they at least allowed him visiting rights because I missed him already and I couldn't eat food in a bathroom while I was peeing and it's never going to stop and it's still going and I can't even feel it anymore but IT IS STILL GOING and I will be peeing for the rest of my life and I can't have a kid while I'm eternally peeing and I'll never have children, I'll just pee forever and ever and my skin will fuse to the seat like that poor woman a few years ago and then I'll have toilet seat butt but no one will care because I'll be peeing forever and I'll already be that woman who peed her entire life and that was really bad enough and will they bring children by to see me like I'm in a zoo or something: THE MYSTERIOUS ETERNALLY PEEING WOMAN and then I stopped peeing thank God.
NewJob is beginning to vary between sucking so hard that I cry on the way to work to OMFG EASIEST JOB EVER EXCEPT I DO IT ALL IN FRENCH to HORRID to I AM SO GLAD I LOVE THESE PEOPLE to I MIGHT PUNCH THIS KID IF HE TALKS TO ME AGAIN to MONEY IS MONEY I GUESS AND THIS MONEY IS GOOD to AT LEAST I HAVE A JOB, SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE JOBS to OMG GET ME OUT NOW MAYBE I CAN JUST QUIT. My French is awesome now, bitches. Mangez-le! I told Nick that I liked speaking French because I can talk to people and they understand me and I understand them and we get things done and he was all YOU JUST SAID YOU LIKED SPEAKING FRENCH and I was all OMG I DID, KILL ME NOW.
We finally have a place to live come September. After much drama (we found a dream place, got turned down, found an okay place, found another dream place, dream place ran out of funding and wouldn't be finished until October, saw two horrible places, found an okay place and found out that October apparently = maybe probably November/December but not soon and we actually shouldn't hold our breath (see the kind of math I can do? Word math.), I gave up hope and just wanted a place to live, Nick held out hope for our dream place while I got all sad-like.), we found our dream place for real. It's a totally awesome place that I am totally having friends over at STAT. That is if I had friends. Anyway, party time, kids. Can you say awesome condo on the third floor across from the police station on the best street in GRap: Monroe Center?
NewPlace means NewFurniture (eventually) because Nick and I are not moving the pullout couch alone and whoever moved it before knows better now. That leaves us with the TV, a loveseat, two desks and a small bookshelf. Oh and our three awesome shelves. And our bed, of course.
Changing deodorant helped the smelly problem go away by the way. Apparently your body can get used to deodorant. It only took about 4 years but it happened. I like this new stuff more actually. I'm not pregnant in case that was still a worry of yours. I know you were concerned for an entire comment thread.
I think that's it. That's been my life so far. I'm hungry. The end.
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2009 3 August :: 8.51pm
:: Music: Death Cab for Cutie- Little Bribes
You said this city has a beating heart/ That pushes people down the blvd/ They're all hoping for a wish fulfilled/ In a desert for a dollar bill/ Those foolish dreams, you know they plague me still
The Eiffel Tower built to smaller scale
The freshest oxygen I'd ever inhale
I tapped a bottle against the safety rail killing time
And you were like a walking compliment
Tall in stature and exceptionally read
In dummy glasses and a cardigan
Oh, come on
And oh so empty were the faces of the dealers and the waitresses around
You said that all these things you've learned to ignore
The hidden cameras on the casino floor
And what gets paid for behind hotel doors
Oh, come on
Pretend every slot machine is a robot amputee waving hello
The people stare into their eyes
And they feed them little bribes and then they go
The never-ending twilight
In a basement where the sun has never spilt
You said that you were lonely
And then we kissed like lonely people do
You said this city has a beating heart
That pushes people down the boulevard
And they're all hoping for a wish fulfilled
In a desert for a dollar bill
Those foolish dreams, you know they plague me still
Oh, come on
And oh so empty were the faces of the dealers and the waitresses around
And oh so empty were the faces of the dealers and the waitresses around
"Being gay is somehow an indulgent choice? It infuriates me. You're either Graham Norton or George Michael getting arrested in parks and I'm neither of those things. I think it appeals to the lowest common denominator that basically there are two types of gay men, the slut, or there's the straight acting guy. Neither of these things have anything to do with penises, or cocks in mouths or any of the things that are related to being gay."
- Former Savage Garden lead singer Darren Hayes, speaking to Gay Times magazine about gay stereotypes on television.
Things that are funny
When people yell at you ON THE INTERNET for saying things to/about them ON THE INTERNET and are upset that you did not say these things to them in person, only to then insist that it is your responsibility to contact them and apologize. Like it's your problem.
I'm sorry, kids. You are way overdue for a life update.
