Sometimes I narrate the things in my life. Except not out loud, I’m no fool. For example…

“Today my eyes itched and when I scratched them they turned red. This made me think I’m allergic to something in the air that floats about last house on Squires Ct.. When I told this to David, he dropped eye medicine in there. I asked him if he still loved my eyes, but he said, ‘I love the left one…’ And I knew what that meant. Oh well, maybe we’ll both go blind and then we won’t worry about anything much anymore.”

“These lyrics are neat in that they rhyme… ‘You’re thinking up your white lies. You’re putting on your bedroom eyes.’ I’m supposing bedroom eyes are eyes that one might use when they are in the bedroom. This is odd because my bedroom eyes are closed on the account of my sleeping.”

“I sneezed on the keyboard. I have no remorse. I’m so mean.”

“When little children tell other little children secrets, it’s usually no good. Hit them quick.”

“Dodgeball isn’t bad like I thought it would be. It’s funny, but not I-peed-my-pants funny. Don’t think I wouldn’t pee my pants because I will if I laugh hard enough. By the way…the ‘underdogs’ win. Movies haven’t surprised me lately. ”

..you can tell everybody this is your song.