Fuck
Fuck the world... fuck life.... fuck everything... I have everything... I went through a breakdown b.c. I felt like I can't trust anyone anymore... but then again... I still am... ANd I can't stop crying... I'm grounded forever... my dad took away my computer... so now all I have is to sneak on it when he is gone... and I can't do anything... and I can't stop crying.... and I don't want Danie to do lipgloss anymore... and I have feeling that maybe ligloss will help me again.... :-/

today...
wow... what can I say about today?

Soon, I know, I'll wake fromt hsi dream but suddenly I know, i'm not sleeping.

well... that's how I've felt lately... like this morning when I feel walking down my front steps b.c. there is alot of Ice on them*thank good my dad just got rid of it all* and then I feel 2 more times today... geesh... lol... well... Imma gonna go do sumfin.. write more later...

Missy and Amber
THEY ARE TEARING APART MY ROOM AND CLENAING IT!!! AHHHHH I'M GONNA GO CRAZY!!!! But I should help them also though... HeeHee... Shhhhhhhh...... But yeah... now its turning into one HUGE FUCKING MESS!!! AND I AM GONNA GO FUCKING CRAZY!!!!! lol... and now we are fucking listing to *Nsync!!! HA HA HA HA!!! now we are having fun... lol.... Well....


HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVID AND DANIEL!!!


Jill... I wish you would tell me what is going on more often,.,.,. I may not know you like Chelsie and everything but I would like to know you... But of course... you don't care... I want to know what is wrong...a nd why Chelsie thinks you should go to a doctor... I mean you to Kathryn to... but I guess I am just jelous...

Chelsie... I love you so much babe... and I am sorry about everything.... but I guess the saying *everything that goes up must come down* is right... b.c. Thursday started off good... and then go crapy as HELL!!!

well I am gona go bye!

BLAH!
Well... today sucked! I think we got a really LOW ranking in the Solo/Ensamble... b.c. the lady was like... CRAZY!!!! lol.... and yeah... of course.... Paul-Brett-Erin-Erica-Josh-and Emma... and ALWAYS doing stuff together... and I never get included in it... and we were talking about Parties in the car... and Erin has been invited to EVERY SINGLE ONE! and even though she wasn't... it sounded like she was trying to rub in Megan, Jenny's, and my's face that she is... and yeah... yesturday.... Paul was being an ass... and I don't like him anymore... and I can't believe I even did... I wonder what I saw in him... wow... same thing happened with Brett... but figures.... because I can't ever get a boyfriend... b.c. of how fucking fat and ugly I am... and I just want to run away from it all... I was looking at a pic of Amber Missy Chelsie and me... and I was looked like shit... and they all look so PEERTY!!!!! And that will never happen to me.... grrrrrr... if only people gave a two shits about people's personality instead of the looks... but of couse the only reason anyone ever goes out with me... is because of my tits and ass or because (to erica)- SOMEONE *TELLS* THEM TO GO OUT WITH ME! AND THEN THEY WILL GO BACK OUT WITH THAT OTHER PERSON... I love Erica and everything... but sometimes she really needs to kjeep her mouth shut...

I know I'm not pretty...
I know I get USED by ALOT of people...
I know I suck at everything...
I know that I will never get a guy...
I know boys need to look more at personalitys...
I know I should calm down... but sometimes I just FUCKING CAN'T!!!!!
And... I know I hjave fucking problems... but nobodys perfect... and no one will ever be... and to all you fucking little preps out there that think you are the best little shits in the world... take a second look... no one is the *best* people were just born pretty and people were just made pretty...and sometimes... no one can change if you are ugly... or pretty.... but people can change the way they think of you... and if People can't see that there are better people out there in this world then Brogan...and Robin.... then maybe they should take a second look at life... I know that this is odd for me telling you all this... but I've already taken my second look at life... and I have asked for a bunch more... and everytime I get one.... I mess up... so maybe I'm gonna turn out like the BITCH THAT FUCKING MADE ME! BECAUSE SHE IS THE BIGGEST BITCH IN THE WORLD AND THE BIGGEST ASS *my mother* and I just wish i could change what happened... but I can't... I can't change anything... and eaither can anyone else... the only thing that can be changed is how you look at life... so choose a good way to look at it.... b.c. sometimes... you might choose the wrong way.... like I did...

Peace and Love always...

Megz... I hope you allo understand.... like I don't...