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behindmysmile

:: 2004 24 January :: 6.38pm

current clothing:My aeropostal monkey pj outfit!!
current mood:Semi happy..kinda sad..
current taste:Dr. Pepper hehe
current hair:Jus flipped out n sideways..short hair..easy..wash..blow dry..DONE! heh
current annoyance:Joshie n Ryan..stupid assholes!
current smell:Sweet pea..tho steve likes my cucumber melon kind better!! =)
current thing you ought to be doing:Well watchin american weddin wif joshie n ryan
current jewelry:Watch..n a Steve necklace..jamee got me! =p
current book:Im readin please stop laughin at me agains
current refreshment:Dr. Pepper
current worry:That i wont see steve all weekend =/
current crush:Korse steve
current favorite celebrity:Jessica Beil or Katie Holmes
current longing:longing? wat mite dat be? like wat i want..mhmm to talk to chels..
current music:What dat hook gon be? *Murphy lee*
current wish:That i could see my baby!!=/
current lyric in your head:What dat hook gon be..see i dont need no motha fuckin hook on dis beat, all i need is da track in da background my headphones blarin.....
current makeup (if you're a girl!):Nothing..im bein lazy t day!
current undergarments:Wow why u wanna know? =p
current regret:Sayin those f'ing evil things i said to britt..
current desktop picture:Uhm let me check..a big pic of da freshmen v ball team this year!! =) 7-2 gurls..keep it up!!
current plans for tonight/weekend:Tonight..jus giong over to ryans..n hangin wif dem..2mmarow gotta go to mitches to work on our german project..gotta get those grades up ya know =/
current cuss word du jour:Fuck you!! =) or my nickname from jiggy samual flipper n arie-Shortshit =p..jiggy-brenda samual-samantha flipper-angela arie-arienna
current disappointment:That i dont get to see my baby boo korse
current amusement:Adam going on and on and on about Amanda..its really cute! Luv you babes! =p
current IM/person you're talking to:Steff..stacey..megs..adam..n tiff!! =)
current love:Steve..if its love..
current obsession:Dr. Pepper i guess =)
current avoidance:Prolly ryan n joshie =)
current thing or things on your wall:In front of me theres a poster of Tupac..*sexxi*
current favorite book:Cut *very awesome..a msut read*
current favorite movie:I like alot..but maybe..jus married..save the last dance..love n basketball..american weddin..lots of em!! =)

currents!@*&!*@&^& brought to you by BZOINK!

HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 24 January :: 6.10pm

+ Basics +
Are you emotional ::Sometimes it depends..
Do songs make you cry? If so, name a few ::No
What about movies ::Yesh, love n basketball, hardball, save the last dance, remember the titans *dont ask* =p
What emotion do you usually feel ::Prolly sad the mostest
+ Sadness +
What does it take to make you cry your heart out ::I unno losin a friend..
How many times have you done that ::Like 3 times =(
Where do you cry ::Usually by myself
Do you hate crying ::Yesh most of the time
Do you like it when others cry ::No, cuz dat would mean thier sad bout sumpthin =(
Do you think tears make eyes look pretty ::Yesh!!
Who looks good when they cry ::James, or Cassie
How else do you express sadness ::poems mostly
Are you sad all the time ::I guess u could say dat..
+ Anger +
What does it take to make you mad ::Not a whole lot =p
What do you do when you're angry ::scream, yell, bitch lots!! =)
How short is your temper ::Well it depends on da situation
How long does it take you to calm down ::Not too long really!!
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad ::Uhm, i unno ask another time =p
Do you freak out when others are angry ::No i usually try n chill em out!
Has anyone ever recommended anger management to you ::No lol
What's the worst thing someone's done to make you mad ::I dont know that either..
Do you anger people ::Sometimes =/
+ Joy +
How often are you happy ::Depends..try to be all da time
What makes you happy ::Being wif my friends, or bf, or doing somethin fun
What do you do when you're happy ::Giggle alot =p *giggles*
How optimistic are you ::not very..
Do happy people make you mad ::No not at all
What's the worst thing someone can do while they're happy ::I dont know..why would some1 do something bad when thier happy?
Ever been so happy you were dying to tell everyone ::yeah!! =) prolly 11*21*03 =p
Ever been so happy you cried ::yeah, i cry alot!!
Do you smile a lot ::Yesh, i try!
Kiss people a lot::Yesh =p
Who really makes you happy ::Britt, Steve, Ali, Stacey, lots of ppl!!
Do you like doing things for people when you're happy ::yesh korse! Spread da joy!!
+ Fear +
What do you do when you're scared ::I usually hid under my blankie =) lol
What scares you ::Losing my friends
Do you like scaring people ::Yesh its fun!
Do you like the trill of being frightened ::Yesh, not all da time tho!
Does fear accompany anger in your case ::No
Ever been so scared you couldn't breathe ::Yesh a few times
How often do you panic ::Not alot actually
What's the one thing that scared you more than anything else EVER ::Losing brittany =(
What do you do to calm your nerves ::Forget bout it..
Do rollercoasters scare you ::Heck no!! =)
+ The strongest emotion +
What song never fails to get your strongest emotions going ::*Dear mama* or *changes* by Tupac
Movie ::Hardball or Remember the titans *long story* =p
Commericial ::I hate commercials but prolly..da..hadababyitsaboy..LMFAO!!
Person ::Brittany ali stacey or steve =)
Thing ::My Happy monkey!!
Sight ::Someone crying
Sound ::Someone cryin or yellin or somethin to dat effect..
Food ::Ice cream or chocolate!! lol
Thing you're looking forward to/want ::Being kidnapped by my baby ali..seein stacey..or brit =)..mostly bein kidnapped tho heh
+ What do you do +
When the emotion suck ::cry prolly
When the emotion rocks ::Be loud, smile, be weird lol
When there's no emotion ::cry agains
+ Would you rather +
Never feel again ::yesh i would
Feel loneliness or anger for the rest of your life ::anger, i hate being lonely =(
Be happy forever and never experience bad times ::yeah sure y not
Cause misery ::No way
Feel misery ::uhm no..
Be alone ::Hell no!!
Be with everyone you know ::Yesh!!
+ Who +
Cheers you up more than anyone else ::Ali jean korse
Angers you more than anyone else ::Brittney stewart prolly da mostest but not all da time!
Scares you more than anyone else ::Tiffany..damn her..almost made me die one time lol
Makes you think about your emotions more than anyone else ::Cassie smith prolly
Makes you really care about how they feel and what they think ::Brittany =)

Emotions brought to you by BZOINK!

HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 24 January :: 1.28pm
:: Mood: fuckin pissed off!!!

I bet you all 10$$ that me n my moms will have to leave t nite!!

Any takers? =/

And if im gone fo a couple of days or so..den im at katies..but i mite not have to leave..not sure yet..

All i know is dat THEY WILL FIGHT T DAY..you watch i know they will..my step dad is f'ing pissed..

And ya know wats funny.its my damn fault again..wow go figure..aint it always? =(

I dont give a fuck anyway..oh wells..bye!!

HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 24 January :: 11.31am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: megans singin..dats a first and last =p

as time goes on..
Well i got a livejournal..and a xanga and im not sure if im going to keep this one up or not..but i mite..cuz im not sure dat im going to be able to figure out da livejournal..and yeah xanga i forgot how much it sucked =p

But yeah britt talked to me last nite..im soo happy!! Im not sure where things r going from there..but ya know im not going to burst my bubble!! hehe *p.s. britt u didnt need to be srry..im da one dat needs to be..and is soo very much*

Chelsie i luv you thanks!! I didnt know a blonde could be so rite all da damn time =p lol im only kiddin u knwo i luv you babes!!

Megan if u need me im here fo you..anyday anytime..whenever babes!! I luv you soo much and i care bout you lots..dont ever forget dat!! =)

Other den dat aint got nothing to say really..britt n all of dem are at busch gardens rite now..i hope thier havin a great time!!

Yeah was surposed to go to da mall wif megs..but NO! oh well i dont give a u fuck..im bout to call jessica to see wat shes doing t day cuz i dont wanna be here..so byes!

HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 23 January :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: pissed off

And it continues still..
Whew chelsie was talkin bout all of her good grades yesterday and we got our report cards t day so i thought that i would jus post mine on here and show you all that i didnt fail every class like i thought that i was going to..but yeah thier stil horrible..but i dont give a fuck..here they r::

Intro to print media-E exam-B final grade-D
Core plus math-E exam B+ final grade-E
Phys Ed-C exam-B- final grade-C
Tech-C exam-D+ final grade-C
Earth Science-E exam E final grade E
Freshmen trans-B+ exam-E final grade-C
Lit comp-E exam-D final grade-E
German-C exam-B final grade C+


Yeah sucky eh? =/ oh well..neways bye..


Make sure you read the three entries before this one!! =)

HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 10.13pm

And last but certainitly not least..brittany marie gamester..

Yeah as most of you already know..me and britt have been havin alot of problems, im not really sure wats going on, but i really fucked up this time, i ruined everything, really i did..=(

But ya know wat, brittany still means more to me than anything in the whole world, brittany will always be my best friend even if she is upset and doesnt want to talk to me..tho i really really really dont blame her..But really brittany i seriously cant live without you, ur the best thing dats ever happened to me, im srry for all of the pain that ive ever caused you, it wasnt on purpose, i would never ever want to hurt you, tho i know i have ohh soo many times..

Brittany your the only reason that i wake up in the morning to face a new day, ur the only reason that im living, your the only person that has NO MATTER WAT, through EVERYTHING, through all of the shit ive put you through ur the ONLY person that has been there fo me through it all..no matter wat..you were always there, no questions asked..And i wish that i would have been a better friend and was there like you were there fo me and would have appreciated everything that i had while i had it..now i know wat they mean by that quote *Appreciate wat you have while you have it, cuz 2marro it mite be gone* ='(

Id give anything to get you back and to get things back to the way thigns used to be, anything..=(

But i guess im not the one dat has to make that decision..but britt member dat i do luv you soo much and id do anything fo you, and i will ALWAYS be here for yo no matter wat..i luv you!!

Rockergurl217: when was this anyway
J d shortier 623: when was wat?
Rockergurl217: that u did that thing
J d shortier 623: wat thing?
Rockergurl217: THA THING!
Rockergurl217: U KNOW WHAT THING!~
J d shortier 623: dat c** m***** thing?
Rockergurl217: yesh'
Rockergurl217: that!
when!?
J d shortier 623: uhm...
J d shortier 623: :: 2003 23 October :: 11.43 pm
Rockergurl217: ¿
Rockergurl217: wats today the25th?
J d shortier 623: uh huh
Rockergurl217: so were back to 2?!
Rockergurl217: 141! HOLY SHIT JILLY!
J d shortier 623: :-\
Rockergurl217: thats great gurly
J d shortier 623: no its not!!
Rockergurl217: any idea how proud i am of you?
J d shortier 623: I wanna write big too...i feel over poweredO:-)
Rockergurl217: lol
J d shortier 623: no its not good!!
Rockergurl217: yesh it is jillane
J d shortier 623: Jill*
Rockergurl217: jill you have no idea how proud i am of you
Rockergurl217: soooo
Rockergurl217: soooo
J d shortier 623: You souldnt be!!
Rockergurl217: sooo
Rockergurl217: damn proud
Rockergurl217: u made it fuckin 141 days!
J d shortier 623: DONT BE!
Rockergurl217: thats like *counts*
J d shortier 623: dont try n count babe it'll be okay:-P
Rockergurl217: almost 5 months!
Rockergurl217: i used a calculater:-P:-P
J d shortier 623: haha:-P cheater
Rockergurl217: that is so great and so were back to 2? who cares we can easily make it again
J d shortier 623: it sould of and could and would of been longer!! :-\ dats not long enough
Rockergurl217: so then itll be easier to make it up n keep going jill dont put urself down cuz of this its otay itll be otay cuz i love u n were gonna make it longer okay?

^^A great example of britt always being there fo me and always tryin to cheer me up.. i luv you more than words could ever explain..dont ever forget dat..=/

Well dats enough ppl fo rite now..im dead tired..=( byes ppl!!

HOLD ON


thoughtskill

:: 2004 22 January :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: nothin.

black and white.
MiSsy n amber are here, were havin the time of our lives. i forgot how much i <3 them.
o2 days still busch gardens!! im not on kev's bus =[ but im on court n kimmys n ryans n some other people'z =] yayzzz its gonna be so fuckin fun !!
I don't think i could love anyone more than i love Jay ..i could not live without him.
i skipped school today n im skippin it again tomarrow..
everything is turnin out great sept the fact that Jill, who was sopposed to be the only one i could ever turn to and the only one who could make anything better has now turned on me. nothing is okay anymore.

what a life.

3 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 9.55pm

Okay the second one will be about Chelsie!! =)

Chelsie..whew wat to say bout chelsie, well shes always there fo me and always sticks by my side no matter wat i do to hurt her, and i couldnt appreciate her more!!

Shes my lil blondenutcase!! Whew forgot bout dat now didnt ya blondie =p hehe jk i luv yous!!

But really shes soo sweet and soo much fun to be around and im soo glad dat we met dat one time and now have gotten to still see eachother tho not very much..wat happened to that once a month thingy =p we need to get together gains its been way to long!! Jilly misses you!! =)

Swiss Cheese:jill i wrote a lil song 4 u and it goes sumtin like this ::::: dont wry b happy dont wry be happy:::then it goes:: I feeelll good i knew tht i wuld i feeeeelll good i knew tht i wuld so good so good i got ya i feeel nice like sugr n spice so nice so nice i feeeel good
J d shortier 623: hahahah ur sucha cutie pie!! i LUV you!!:-X
J d shortier 623: :-D**
SwissCheese: hehe i luv u 2!!!!!!!
SwissCheese: o i kno im jus so dang cute
J d shortier 623: yesh u r;-)

Hehe..wat a cutie pie..i luv dat gurl soo much =) I luv you chelsie!!

Dont forget bout our booty tickler n our strawberry milkshake trail back to davids..lol luv yous!

2 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 9.24pm

First ill write about my ali jean!! =)

Ali jean is the sweetest, most caring, sensitive person that i know, shes always there for me no matter wat!! I appreciate my baby more than anything!! I dont know wat i would do without her, shes da best person ever!

And were going on a roadtrip sometime..cant member when like july something or another, cuz yeah iknow its after her b day heh =)

And also when im 18 my baby is kidnappin me!!! WOo HOo!! =)

jdshortier623: There are many things that I would like to say to you..
But I don't know how.
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: oh jill i didnt no u felt that way ;-)
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: jk jk
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: :-P
jdshortier623: oh yesh ali..ur jus soo damn sexxi i cant resist myself..im very attrached to yew!! :-*;-)
jdshortier623: haha u goofball:-P
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: hehe
aWhOleLoTaSeXiX: we have an interesting relationship lol

Hehe i luv my baby gurl =)

We'll be together forever ali jean!! No matter wat..i luv you soo much..ur da best thing dats ever happened to me, thanks fo everything, i luv you!!

Okay dats enough for ali jean fo rite now =)

HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 22 January :: 9.22pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: The movie swat playin..

A lil something fo kicks..
Okay im going to stop here..and restart i think..im not sure if i sould jus restart journal or not cuz there is alot of stuf fin here dat i mite wanna keep for future reference lol ya know? oh wells i guess i wont..

But okay rite now im gonna write bout my friends..but im gonna write it in a new entry cuz ive gotta write a whole bunch of entries right quick..=)

Im dieing without your gental touch

HOLD ON


behindmymask

:: 2004 20 January :: 7.59pm
:: Mood: confused
:: Music: me!!!

brett
i said that i would cry and i am... i sucked at swimming today because i was so upset. i fell off of the blocks and did a belly smacker, while trying to dive! :( i really like brett and im gunna tlk to his mom and set her straight, bc i love him in a future sorta way!
*smooches*

2 I'm almost there | HOLD ON


behindmymask

:: 2004 20 January :: 9.48am
:: Mood: scared
:: Music: kendra typing

brett
im so scared because brett said that he needs tp talk to me when i was at my locker... i hope he doesnt want to break up or im going to cry... i gave my love to another guy and look what happens! i love him i really do. i just dont know if i can handle that again?! i hope he likes me for n e reason... i dont care any more! it pisses me off that he would do sumthin like that... probly bc yesterday when she was tlking to eric at my house she said that i want him and all this junk ! :( AND I DONT!!!!! i like brett not eric so now im scared to go to lunch because im in counseling and then i have jolly then lunch:( im practicly worrying my self sick... for hopefully nothing!!!!!!!!!!!
i g2g *Smooches*

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behindmysmile

:: 2004 19 January :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: fuckin pissed..

And noneoftheless, its gets worse..
Wow, its fun ruining jillys life, anyone else wanna try? Geesh it really is fun, you all sould try..

Well jus wanted to say srry britt, you mean everythin to me, and i cant live my life without you, your the best thing dats ever happened to me..and i miss youmore than anything in da whole world, plz dont leave me..im srry, i knw i was relaly really stupid, and i know i souldnt have said dat, and im srry its jus i miss you, and i luv you..plz..i luv you..

neways have ntohing else to say, had a good day till t nite, when i ruined my day/my life..

Oh yeah i got my hair done today..platuim blonde babey..yeah my mom didnt know bout it tho ive had da appointment fo like 2 weeks now..but yeah she freaked..im grounded..cept she said she luvs it..next im gettin my red strikes..cant wait to see her reaction to dat..oh well i dont care..i hope she dies..

I hope i die..

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behindmymask

:: 2004 18 January :: 9.49pm
:: Mood: bouncy
:: Music: 50 cent- in da club

saturday...
on saturday i hooked up wit brett and emmas party was a blast!!!!!!!!! even though i was having my as* drooled over by sean, pagano, brett and paul... i didnt mean to sound bitchy or conseded!


bowling was so much fun there were these preps from grasslake and i went up to them asked if they were preps and when they said yes i said ,"ohh thats too bad... im sorry" then walked away!!!!!! i went over there to tlk to logan and they were being all nice and shitt... wat the hell i was a bitch to them... i wanted them to hate me but.. ooh well! they are erics friends and one was soo hott!!!!!!!!!---lol


i really like brett so im messed up because i said he was trying 2 change me now im so in love with him i dont care... but i cant say i love you bc last time i did i got hurt to badly. i do think i love him but in the future i can say the words just yet. i wish i could bc if i could i would. but Eric James Ratliff hurt me to mother fucken bad and broke my heart into pieces...

HOLD ON


behindmysmile

:: 2004 18 January :: 7.43pm
:: Mood: irritated

As time goes on..
Today was interestin, no brittany of korse..but im thinkin its cuz mis n amber r down in florida rite now..i dunno. But i got to talk to chels t day!

I have no idea why..but i had this like *itch* to talk wif swiss t day, it was really weird, i jus really needed to talk to her t day..so now i feel better since i talked to her =)

Havent called my baby yet t day, i kinda dont want to, cuz as soon as i do, im gonna get bitched cuz i had to work yesterday and couldnt see him, and den cuz at riot *i was ignorin him and wouldnt talk to him* cept he was playin b ball, but watch im sure ill get bitched at fo dat, who wants to bet 10$?? Anyone? Didnt think so..

I did absolutly nothing t day, actually im still in my pjs. Whew im being soo lazy t day, but its okay cuz i dont have skool 2marro =) yippie!!

Neways i dont have anything to say, so yeah im done, latah everyone!!

I luv my skut Brittney!! Glad ur bak online babe!! Missed you!!

I luv you too brittany gamester!! hehe hope ur havin fun wateva ur doing!! *mwuh*

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