I'm not gonna let you break me

:: 2004 17 January :: 11.46am

Today missy n amber are coming for a week =].
Yesterday sucked. my mom wuldnt let me do anything so i was stuck cleanin all day. I couldnt go to tha fair with jay ='[ but then he called me when he got home n we both fell asleep on the fone <3. =] !
i wuv jay !!

1 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 16 January :: 11.32pm
:: Mood: giggly

I luv my babey!! =)
Awwe omg i had da best time at riot t nite!! I luv my baby steve!! Hes soo sweet to me, *cept this hickie, which he will get his ass beat fo lol* but newho, i had da bestest time omg i luv this kid, i wanna be wif him forever, until the day i die!! Hes so great to me, i couldnt ask fo anything more!! 11*21*03 *Best day of mah life* =)

Whew i finally got to see my whore kristie lol, shes still as boy crazy as she always was lol oh wells i still luv her, and i got to see danielle's and yeah dat was great lol were gonna start hangin out more heh =) and i saw lisa *korse* and brittney bunker and stewart, and cassie and gosh everyone else was there, haha nobody went ot da dance t nite, go figure!!

Britt says dat im becoming one of the ppl dat we used to make fun of, well britt its okay, im happy..and dats a friggin first!! So yeah im fine wif being a lil boy crazy lil loserish prepish fag..lol but im srry, if you would like me to stop n break up wif him i will =) but only fo you!! hehe..i luv you lots babe!!

I luv my baby boo steve, forever and ever!!

:: 2004 16 January :: 6.26pm
:: Mood: busy
:: Music: What dat hook gon be? Murphy lee

nothing really
Haha well i really dont have much time but i jsu wanted to come on here and tell wat happened wif me and steve, yeah were back together and things r soo great, whew im soo soo happy, i think dat i luv this guy..and yesh britt ir eally do mean luv, i think dat i am in luv and you all know dat i woudlnt say dat if id idnt totally mean it =) Its weird..but yeah i luv being in *luv* hehe if dats even wat this is!!

Yeah rite now im going to riot wif steve and cassie and josh and all of them..alotta ppl will be there cuz its friday but yeah i realy wanna see me baby and cassie, oh gosh me and cassie r friends again..its great!! =) im luvin dat too!! hehe and dats all thanks to steve, cuz like josh n cassie r giong out and yeah steve and iw ere talkin bout cassie and den now steve started hangin out wif josh and cassie is alwyas wif josh and im usually wif steve so yeah now were hangin out more..so yeah dats great!!!!!!

And me and britt are talkin again, good thing too cuz i thought dat i was going crazy, im not sure wat happened, but ya know i luv dat gurl moer than anything in the whole world and nobody will ever come close tomeain how much she means to me!! NOBODY!! i luv you brittany marie gamester!!

Oh yeah and brittney stewart is going to riot t nite too..which will be kool cuz were gettin along now dat she moved..ick i dont wanna get caught up in her shit tho..shes gettin into alotta hard drugs n stuff..and jilly doesnt want to do dat shit..whew

I talk alot when im happy, anyone else notice!? hehe well luv you all gotat go tho..BYES

1 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 15 January :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: ditzy
:: Music: dillon singing lol =)

bored in uprights again
lol yeah im in uprights class again even tho i really dont have his class..me n becky dawn went down to mrs arkisons during our science exam thingy and yeah den we came here during our lunch..i get to go home in like 20 minutes..whoo hoo!! lol

Yeah but neways im really glad cuz like yeah megs and chels r friends again..i knew dat would happen cuz jilly is soo smart lol

Neways yah i aint really talked to britt yet..i dont know maybe ill talk to her like next week..maybe shes busy is all..

Yeah and me and steve r back together..ill write in here bout wat happened wif dat latah t nite when i get home cuz i prolly wont be home till latah if my mommy is okay wif our lil plan haah..well gotta go now..lunch is almost over.

Luv you all lots latah!!

I luv mah babey becky dawn..n ali jean too!! =)

Behindmymask

:: 2004 15 January :: 9.50am
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: eminem

sry
im sry if you think i cut for fun, im sry if you think i dont care because i do i really do. you might think that i do it for attention and i dont. i did it because it relaxes me
i know it was dumb and a big mastake.

i hope you will foregive me and if you cant FUCK YOU!

4 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 14 January :: 11.20pm
:: Mood: giggly
:: Music: always wantin u

2 months
me was sick today. me and ashley left early =]...felicia is transfering schools
but best of all tomarrow=two months with me hubby
best two months of my life
Jay Michael Cascadden..you are the best hubby n friend i could ask for..i couldnt get any luckier.. You are so amazin n nice n sweet n HILLARIOUS..oooOARNGE!! beep beep..my poster just fell..the right side of me is WEIRD..Haiiiir =P..i didnt hear u omg yer blind!! heheh we FUNNY =] i will love you ~~forever~~ naw thats way tOo shOrt !! LonGer!!

Thanks for everythin..thanks fer puttin up with me n being so good to me..all i can say is i love ya =]

Brittany
+
Jay
=
Forever

xx oo xx
brittany
xx oo xx

:: 2004 14 January :: 4.16pm

Hey yeah..this is Jilly on britts journal..shh she dont knwo it yet..lol..but yeah i jus wanted to say dat i luv you britt and i hope dat were still friends..

and yeah we need to talk..but i really do luvya lots!! =)

Jiggy n shocker say hey lol *kala n brenda* love ya

:: 2004 14 January :: 4.13pm
:: Mood: amused

Lol im jus sittin here doing NOTHING..watchin kala and brenda *jiggy* do thier exams fo this class..which i have no idea wat is is lol..but yeah..im bored..whew

Yeah we went to see mrs blume and miss conrad, and yeah miss wait i mean mrs beer, yeah she had detention duty so we really couldnt talk, and yeah shes giong to da game t nite so dat we can takl n stuff lol..and yeah mrs blume and me and jiggy had a really nice talk lol..she talked bout how her students were really annoyin t day and how she had a bad day lol..neways yeah im gonna get going..luv you all..FREAKS..woop!! ::no comment:: No i didnt ask you about ur mother..yesh u did..nu uh i luv apples..not u..woop woop!!

Lol srry dat was messed =)

Love..me!!

:: 2004 14 January :: 1.26pm
:: Mood: silly
:: Music: Some country music in da next room =)

Jus bored.. lol
Yeah i know dat i said dat i wasnt going to write in this thingy anymroe but yeah im like sittin here in uprights room *computer class* and yeah brenda is finishing her exam and arieanna is like playin on disney.com lol..so yeah i thought dat i woudl do this to give me somthing to do ya know..so yeah

Wow t day was really fun too..im really luving this exam schedule..too bad its going to end and soon =( oh wells lol

Today me and steve are talkin and he wants to talk bout wats going on cuz he talked to his mom last nite and everything and he says dat he really likes me n shit but yeah i dont know bout all of dat..i dont know bout him anymore

Yeah also t day was really fun..haha..and now im stayin after until like 5:00 and yeah den nicks mom is going to come and pick me up and take me to j high to go to my girlies v ball game..n den im going there yeah and den going home..fun fun =)

And wow..ya know im startin to become friends wif da ppl dat i was friends wif in like 7th grade..cuz yeah brenda *jiggy* was my locker partner and we were like best friends..and den we stoppped talkin after dat cuz she joined a diff group of friends..den she went back to he rother one..which ive been havin out wif all week..jamee is like being really weird lately..cuz of he rand mike but oh wells

And yeah guess who called me late last nite..at like 1 in da morning..Brittney..yeah she was all crying and all upset bout her mom and dad..they had gotten into a huge fight..and she was really shaky so i talked to her till bout like 3:00 3:30 and yeah it was great to hear from her again..were gonna get together this weekend maybe..but im not sure rite now cuz brenda n dem have a game and they want me to come over and go to it wif em lol

But yeah neways..i dont really have much else to say here rite now and im bout to help brenda cheat on her exam lol so yeah im gonna get going..

Chelsie i really luv you and im srry fo everything..<33

Megs i luv you too babe..

And brittany, u know dat i luv you more than life itself..tho its not da same anymore..you still mean the world to me..plz talk to me babe..i miss you =(

:: 2004 12 January :: 9.20pm
:: Mood: depressed

Well whew..i think i jus got dumped by stacey..and yeah maybe this one is fo good..i hate how she trys and makes me choose between her and my other friends..

And den brittany wont fuckin talk to me and dat fuckin sucks..but ya know if she dont wanna be friends anymore den fuck it..=( *tear*

And den my mom is fuckin drivin me nuts puttin me on this like weight contral program cuz im not as fuckin anorexic as she is..

And den ive got fuckin exams EVERYDAY THIS WEEK..which is going to be fuckin hell..oh well im jus failing every class anyway..

And then all of this bullshit wif steve..

Ya know wat i dont give a fuck anymore..im jus gonig to drop all of my friends..move skools..and start all over..start fresh..but ya know..i bet dat wouldnt work either..ill jus fuckin screaw things up again..

Oh well im out..not dat any of you fuckin care..wateva fuck it..bye!! =(

P.s. im done wif this journal..i mean im not going to write in it anymore..so yeah enjoy this luvly last entry..depressed..sounds like the begining of the rest of my life..*how cheesy*

3 I'm almost there | HOLD ON

:: 2004 11 January :: 11.02pm
:: Mood: lonely

This entry is all fo brittany..
Okay this is fo britt..so yeah..here i go..

Okay for a while now britt things have been really different between us..and yeah just like today i was trying to talk to you and i would be like so you gonna talk to me and youd be like no and id be like okay and den like a while latah id say it and you be like no and den i was like well den ill jus go and ur like okay bye n everything..so yeah dat was really rude..how am i surposed to feel about that??

Yeah thigns are soo diff now..and i really hate it..i wish dat things could go back to da way they were before..wat happened between us? was it soemthing i did..or said? Come on dont even just say dat this is jus me dat feels this way cuz it cant be just me..cuz yeah thigns r really diff and im not just sayin this..it feels to me like you dont even care anymore.. =/

But wateva, i jus really wanna know wats going on here..cuz i miss you and wish dat we were da best of friends like we were before..plz talk to me..im dieing here without you..i luv you soo much..i dont know wat i would do without you..plz dont leave me..=(

P.s. im not jus sayin this to start a fight or nothing either so dont think dat either..and call me if you wanna talk..but im goin to bed..gotta lotta shit to think bout..=/

Love..Jilly!!

:: 2004 10 January :: 4.23pm
:: Mood: happy

Everything is gonna be okay...
update..
wednesday wasnt as bad as i thought it was gonna be, everything turned out okay.
same with thursday...friday i went to daniel's after school n then ema spent the night..tis was fun. me and kevin had an intresting talk..=/..Today i got muh hair cut =] i love it..it cost a shit loud of money cuz i got it colored 2wice plus cut.=D and in about an hour im going to Jamie's house to spend the night...yay!

6 days ..
tons left to go.

:: 2004 9 January :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: California Love::My baby Tupac!!

New community!!
Okay everyone..i made a new community..and yesh this one we are all actually going to write in..its going to be jus like a blog..like the ones dat me and Jamee *my hoe* n Becky Dawn used to keep last year..and me n Cassie Smith, and Cassie Brown..but yeah..its giong to be for us lil buddy ol' pals!! So everyone MUST join it ASAP..the name is dazedandconfuzed plz join it as soon as you can!! And as soon as i can ill put the rules in it..yesh there are rules.but dont wrry they dont have to be followed..rules are meant to be broken..maybe i sould jus call them guidelines lol..

So yesh Brittany..Chelsie..Megan..Ali jean..Missy..Stacey..you must all join the community..or else you will be in for it =) hehe..but yeah..neways plz join..i will luv you fo it =)

Neways yeah lets see here..aint talked to britt really in a bit..i miss you ya fruit!! Hehe oh well its all good!! hehe and you too chelsie..i miss you lots!!

Of korse i talked to my perv ali tho..i always talk to dat lil chicka..cuz shes a bum jus like me!! =) but rite nwo sehs at a dance thingy..*tear tear* lol oh well I LUV YOU ALI JEAN!!

And yeah my baby Stacey got an online journal..yippie skippie!! lol i luv you stacey your sucha cutie pie!! lol i dont know wat i would do without ya!!

And omg guess wat..me and becky dawn had this oh soo interestin talk today and we talked bout our problems..during science when we were surposed to be makin notes for da exam lol but oh well

and yesh i went to go see miss *beer* after skool but she wasnt there so i went to see mrs blume and yeah that was great..i talked to her fo a while..yeah i feel soo much better now..

and me and steve talked things out and yeah were takin a one to two week break so we dont *jump into things head first and fuck it all up again* hes sucha sweetie..hehe but oh well..i dont really know anymore..hhe but i really like this one..YAYAY..not dat ya'll care to hear bout some stupid guy..neways im going to bed now..or well going to lay down..den leavin at like 12 to go out wif meg n see nicole dat ia int seen in like 2 months!! yippie skippie!! lol

love..ME!!!! =)