Hair cut...
Yes.. The hair cut. It has finally happened...I feel...light. I also scheduled an appointment for homecoming to get my hair done :-D

I hate car rides with my mom. All she ever does is complain about everything. Telling me shit about how she had it rough growing up and that her parents were hard on her. She just kept going on and on and I wanted so bad just to yell "SHUT UP! ALL YOU ARE DOING IS REPEATING HISTORY BITCH" but yeah..I didnt say that. Then the ride home was followed by questions about why I dont make an effort to hang out with people on weekends and yadda yadda yadda. I always answer her questions with silence or a one worded answer. The less shes a part of my life the better. -_-

Amy has left over bbq chicken strips from Sams Joint. Come over and we can have a bbq chicken parrtayyy lol.. mm they are good but if I ever eat one again in the near future I just might barf.

I'm out.

Today..
Ok..someone tells me I hide behind a computer when they are telling me that while on their computer? How does that make sense? It controdicts itself doesnt it. Now there's a perfect example of being hypocritical. But whatever, its fine. I dont care. Its my woohu, my life. FYI I do keep notebooks and shit in my room and thats only used for important writing. The fun of having a private woohu is sharing it with the people you trust or keeping it to yourself. So whatever. Go to hell.

My half day was fine today. No problems. Nodda. I always have fun in science. Grandpa Dannie lol I don't care who sees this but I have a statement to make...Zach Helbech is hot..thats all that needs to be said. Do I like him? No not like that. Is he hot? Yes. lol What a crazy statement. Carinna waited with me for my sister to come pick me up then steph came and chilled with us. I wish I could go to the game tonght because I wanna see kyle and jesse play and to meet up with some friends but I cant because I'm going to go get my hair cut FINALLY. NO MORE AMY COUSIN IT!! SCORE. So thats basically all I have to say.
Later

A day home sick..
I've come back to this journal and I'm erasing my taintedemptyness because I dont really use it anymore and because I had to like put so much security on it the people who I actually want to see it can't. Then people started getting around the password just so they can read it..I guess some people just..need a life? So goodbye taintedemptyness. But its ok because I found a different journal server that hosts like an impossibly to break into journal..that is unless you know the password. So.. I'll be using this one for like just talkin about how my days are and all that shit. Not the important good stuff because ya know, you just can't trust anyone with that info.

Today I stayed home sick with the flu. The attendance lady told my mom alot of people were out due to it so whatever. Tomorrows a half day so i'll probably come home and sleep if I dont have too much homework. I know I have some tests to study for though UGH! SPANISH! I hate it its so hard. But I missed my friends actually. Thats kindof odd..stay home sick and miss your friends? Well I guess I just like being around them and I guess school isnt that bad but I still have issues with it along with many other things..so thats basically it. I dont know how often I'll update this one but..right now is a try right? I'm out.

Skool
School was pretty gay today. I have the biggest migraine imaginable. I got to school like 20 minutes early so I went to my locker and put all my crap in it. That killed time then I found Zach so we walked around then got locked outside lol. That was the only funny part of my day. That and civics with Jesse Gill lol he so has ADD. My classes are ok except I don’t like my health class because I don’t have anyone in there that I really talk to. Stephanie Tucker all tried to talk to me but I don’t think so hhahaha. I like my science class because I have Dannie and some cute guys. I unfortunately haven’t seen anyone drop dead gorgeous but hey, there is a lot of hot guys. I h ate school still though…(this continues on in my other woohu..if your lucky to know what that woohu is.) Yeah so that was basically it. Zach’s a good guy and a good friend. He’s funny too so that’s always a plus right? Hahaa. I’ll probably go to bed early tonight but I highly doubt that because Road Rules is on..ya I gotta watch that lol. And for those who haven’t noticed…I’m giving up the facial expression known as the smile. Ok so I leave some people…and I hear that they are still talking bout me. I know its bound to happen but I mean please give it a rest. I left for my own reasons I don’t exspect you to understand that though so whatever. Let bygones be bygones………..need I say more?

I’m looking for a hit man… if anyone would like to shoot me please let me know.
Crazybiznotch007@hotmail.com
Babyhands101388

lol

I'm at my moms school. Cable Modem need I say more.

I had a GREAT time at stephs party!! I can not say that enough! It was so great. It was me, carinna, steph, dannie, frank, jimmy, david, jeremy, billy, erin, luke, and a kid from north who i cant remember his name lol. I met some new people and we just all hung out went swimming, played games..all that fun stuff! It was a lot of fun. Its nice to see kindof what schools going to be like when it starts. These are the people i will be hanging out with and Carinna will be there to go though it with me. Its going to be fun. These are such nice people. I know i'm going to have alot of fun this year.

Oh and I got grounded when I got home because i didnt give my parents the address and phone number to stephs house...WTF? ok big deal? not that big of a deal. Oh well.

I've been doubting alot of things and people lately...

I have to pee

I'm watching Sex2k "Gay Cruise" on mtv. Its kindof scary. I have nothing against gay people they are just like everyone else..but its still scary lol. I dont care if hes gay if hes hot and on mtv shakin his ass..hell ya i'm gunna watch lol

I need to break the habit of stayin up so late. I'm going to DIE when school starts...what did I just say? School..whats school? I DO NOT understand that worddd.....hmm....

Things..

I'm not really excited about things...as far as school goes and all. I dont want to go back to it. Thats what got me started on all this shit...all this shit thats changed me. I'm afraid that i'm becoming to serious. I dont laugh and smile like I use to. I use to be happy. I use to feel like I had a good life that I was actually going to make it through my life but throughout the past year..things have changed...and I'm not sure what has changed them. I'm constantly pissed off. Theres always something bugging me that no one in this house can understand. Instead I get punished for how I feel or not saying how I feel. I dont care if it hurts to bottle stuff up inside but I guess I've grown accustomed to it. I'd rather go through this pain than to "talk it out". All that ever does is make people form new opinions on you based on how you feel. I've learned that one a couple of times. I dont want to hang out with anyone alot. I dont want to go outside. I just want to be isolated. I dont want anyones help...I dont need anyone to talk to me. There are some exceptions but not many. I dont look at life the way I use to.

I just wish i could be normal

I know what makes me this way. I know what I have to do to fix it. It all depends on how I deal with it. If I deal with it the right way and that there is progress into this than maybe slowly I'll feel like my self again but if I dont do anything about it...than...I'll be stuck. Its almost like an anternate universe. Things are so different when your "depressed" Its almost like everything is in different shades of gray. Like everything is on grayscale. There's something always holding you back...holding you back from saying things...felling things...everything. There is no way out of this unless you help yourself.

I'm just afraid that when/ if I ever get to my "destination" that I wont be happy..and that it wont solve my problems.

Re-did journal bg


I thought my journal could use some color, thus the peach.

I did nothing today other than watch Saved By the Bell reruns. Oh how I loved that show lol. Schools coming closer and closer I really dont want to go! I dont want to get up early and I dont want to have to deal with some of the people. Oh well I guess I just hope i have gym second semester because I really dont want to deal with it this semester!! Thats only one more thing I have to worry about. Although gym is fun though i guess. And you can wear comfy clothes :-D but then your hair gets all messed up...it has its ups and downs..

im out

do do do

I'm watchin antiques roadshow...how can you not love that show?

Guess what? Amy went shopping today...
- White jeans with zipper pockets from ae
-green shirt from ae
-brown tank top ae
-blue shirt ae
-green pj sweat pants ae soo comfy
-black althetic pants ae
I think that was it..
Belt from jc penneys...

I still have yet to get my Bob Ross shirts from Hot Topic but i'm going back shopping on monday cuz tomorrow i get to babysit and get more money and then my sister has to go to Marshal Fields cuz shes getting one of those makeup makeovers at Clinique! That should be fun to watch!! My sisters Bday is Tuesday. HAPPY 18THS legally an adult..she can take me to R movies..YAY.. I got her some stuff today. Umm...Nothing much ..other than my parents came home today... yesterday they were gone at some amish place ...old people are weird lol but they got a nice hotel with a jacuzzi in it..i wish i was there for that i would have just stayed in the jacuzzi the whole day lol

So yeah thats about it...

none


Stoffers french bread pizza would so taste better if it just was bread and sauce...

I was waken up at like 10
went to champion.
I saw Ariieeeeee.
Did what people do at champion
I left.
Took at 2 hr nap.
Went online.
Ate french bread pizza.
Ate a fruit punch starburst.
And now i'm here.


the end.