skittlicious
|
::
2003 14 October :: 5.35pm
:: Music: linkin park- numb
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
I dont know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
I've become so numb
I cant feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm beomcing this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and less like you
cant you see that your smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought i would be
has fallen apart in front of you
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is
another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
and every second i waste
is more than i can take
but i know
I may end up falling too
but i know you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you
i need a change, i want a change, i need a life, something, i need to be my own person, and stop walking in others shadows.
<3mandyy
2 bottles of beer on the wall |
spit it out
|
|
skittlicious
|
::
2003 13 October :: 11.41pm
:: Mood: appreciated
:: Music: finch // post script
DEDICATED TO DANIELLE S<3
i was reading a friends journal..and was looking back at entries, and i came across this..
"mandy said la la and i could go over her house one day ths summer nad go fishing and catch puffer fish! how awesome would that be! i love mandy shes soo kool. l shes like a big giant explosion of fun and sweetness...all in one. :)"
I never actually thought she 'truly' liked me..now only i wish i got to know her better, and now that she doesnt go to our school, or the fact that i never see her, i'm never gonna get to talk to her. ugh! And I'm sorry we never got to go fishing, but hey, its not too late..is it?
I miss you Danielle<3<3<3
<3mandyy
2 bottles of beer on the wall |
spit it out
|
|
theintervoice
|
::
2003 13 October :: 11.03pm
:: Mood: can't describe
:: Music: POWERLINE- "Untitled"
in my hand is my discontent
the sounds of acoustic guitar helps me remeber of everything i used to know about everything i used value which used to bring me great joy...now brings me sorrow and hatred to myself...
i hope...i'll i can do is hope. thats it.
Today was my first day...the A-files are done, i burned them, in my head that is. like i feel finally free from her. see all i needed was a push in the oppisite direction, and when i did get that push, it saved my life from manic depression. whew. its like a burden has been lifted upon. i dont care anymore, about wat she does at night or who she hangs out with, all i can do is smile. it feels great. it feels great to start likeing someelse. it the start of a new era in which i wont make the same mistakes i did, i'm a better person now. and i'm aware of what my feeling represent. see with Miss. A i would have to pretend to be sumthing i'm not, i shud be who wanna be and not pretend its so useless and charleton. anyway, i just had to get that out cuz i rememeber all those damn journal entries i wrote about here, they only made me more depressed about who i was. ahhh :)
i'm out!
Peac-E
5 bottles of beer on the wall |
spit it out
|
|
skittlicious
|
::
2003 13 October :: 11.06pm
another survey, stolen from miss danielle grundt.
| People have you loved?: | none | | People have you kissed?: | 3 | | Commandments have you broken?: | umm, i dont know? | | Places have you lived in (for over 3 months)?: | one | | Countries have you been to?: | including the one i live in..three. | | Languages can you speak fluently?: | one, well two including gibberish :-D | | People are you talking to right now?: | two | | Times have you been in a car today?: | three times | | Different kinds of meat have you eaten?: | lots, i dont know how many | | Different kinds of liquor have you tasted?: | lots | | Jobs you have held?: | two | | Years of school have you attended?: | 12 or 11, lol. | | Shows have you been to this month?: | play wise? or concert wise? well together...like 3? | | Friends would you call "close"?: | umm, ill get back to you...i know atleast two.. |
How Many.... brought to you by BZOINK!
2 bottles of beer on the wall |
spit it out
|
|
skittlicious
|
::
2003 12 October :: 11.09pm
:: Mood: bored..once again.
:: Music: listening to the movie dreamcatcher
i need to find a life, one that will fulfil my requirements
Which type of beauty are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
To read this, if your on my site, just highlight it all, my links are weird so its not showing :-\
| Name: | mandyy | | Nicknames: | mandalanda, mandala, tcg | | Age: | 16 | | Birthday: | april 6, 1987 | | Nationality: | austrian, german, and irish...hehe im a german jew ;] | | Current Height: | 6'2'' | | Hair Color: | brown or reddish brown? | | Eye Color: | brown | | Family: | yeah..i have one | | Location: | Boca Raton, FL | | College: | I wanna go to UCF, UCLA, or NYU. | | Piercings: | just two on one ear, three on the other | | Red or Blue: | depends what shade of blue | | Spring or Fall: | spring | | Santa or Rudolph: | santa | | Math or English: | math | | What are you going to do after you finish this survey: | bed time -) | | What was the last food you ate: | cheesburger | | High School or College: | high school but i cant wait for college | | Last movie you saw: | the ring | | Last noise you heard: | the tv..mom is watching dreamcatcher | | Last time you went out of state: | right before school started...new york | | Things you like in a girl/guy: | personality, they have to be funny, nice eyes..umm i dont know right now.. | | What book are you reading now: | homecoming | | Favorite board game: | monopoly..and racko...and lots i love em all<3 | | Favorite magazine: | cosmo girl..really. | | Worst feeling in the world: | lonliness and the feeling of being 'empty' | | First thing you think of in the morning: | 'him' and i can kinda feel what my day will be like, so i kinda think about | | Future daughter's name: | i dont know..come back to me | | Future son's name: | same answer as above | | Chocolate or Vanilla: | chocolate | | Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: | lots...but i like my blankey better [no joke] | | Dream job: | photographer or actress | | Whats under your bed: | everything that was on my floor..that needed to be put away :-D |
Overview Survey brought to you by BZOINK!
1 bottles of beer on the wall |
spit it out
|
|
theintervoice
|
::
2003 12 October :: 10.52pm
:: Mood: geeky
:: Music: In this Diary- ATARIS
RE-Cap (doing all i can)
Fuck French, Fuck Manet, Fuck studying, Fuck memorizing, Fuck late night reading, Fuck staying in all day
RE-CAP of weekend
Friday, i went over alex's and we chilled and watched 8 mile until we left to FAU to see the ataris in concert w/ Vendetta Red. Yea. It was awsome, Me, Ricky and Alex pretty much moshed our way thru the crowds while Geori, Mozitis, and Spiggs watched. I started doing all this crazy shyt, break dancing and stuff lol. anyways after that we were suppose to sleep over georis but didnt, so instead alex ricky slept over here and we all went to the beach thus saturday comes
Saturday, of course we went to the ebach where i beat up Spiggs, and Geori and played sand fight with tha crew. the we walked arounds to seven and lazy daze. then me and mozitis tanned while the others stayed under the bridge like bums. we then left to drop off ricky then we dropped off "palmetto" at geori's and me and alex went to back to his hosue where he got his brotheres friend (who's a cop) to play a triack on me and say that i was speeding and that my moms car was stolen lol, then i went home cuz i had to work where i made $10 bucks but didnt get home 12, shiiit.
Sunday, i woke up at 9, then went to bed at 9:15, woke up at 9:45 and then went to bed at 10, then woke up at 10:30, then went to bed a 10:45, then finally i officially wake up at 11:00, I started my french project in which i should have started a weekd ago, i have to memorize a 4 min report on a dead man. i've been inside all frigging day, i havent not seen the yellow of the sun. :( anyway, i talked to alex, then ricky, then Pat, we mgiht have a long over-due practice this week and this week-end. so be prepared for that to come.
tonite some news got out. :)
anyways, i have to finish my thing for french b/c i need at least a f-king C for my mom.
so i'll c-ya later J
Peac-E
2 bottles of beer on the wall |
spit it out
|
|
skittlicious
|
::
2003 12 October :: 4.25pm
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: no music
i've only been up for two hours, and i'm getting ready to go back to sleep again
YOU EAT PEOPLE!!!
what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla
what can i say? I'm just cool like that.
<3mandyy
spit it out
|
|