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playmate101

:: 2004 28 June :: 12.10am
:: Mood: excited

today was a good day.
talked to jonah all day.
finished my collage today.
ryan cleaned his truck & stopped by to say hi before he left for boca, wanted to see my foot =)
brittany came over, we went to get ice cream & stopped to see ariel. =)

i took the bandage off my foot, ew it is disgusting looking lol. but thats ok... i put a few bandaids & a sock over it, so it doesnt get infected & i dont have to look at it.

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playmate101

:: 2004 26 June :: 11.57pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: My Happy Ending // Avril Lavigne

s0o much for that happy ending.
i want to see u. i want to be with u. i want to spend time with u. i want to kiss u. i want u to hold me again. i want to love u the right way. i want to say that u r my boyfriend.

you ARE everything that i want.

i want u back.

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were [meant] to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just f.a.d.e. away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending.

Dmx504boyz: everywhere i looked i thought i saw u
HCOblonde31: =/ jonah!
Dmx504boyz: wut
HCOblonde31: i love u.
Dmx504boyz: love u too

jackie stopped over to see how i was doing. =) love ya & thank ya for keeping me company. xoxo went out to dinner with the family & friends. came home... listening to this song over & over again... and cutting out words from my old magazines.

i wish jonah would come & keep me company.

o yes... mr. camilo called me tonight =) we talked about stupid shit... mostly, he made fun of me for being blonde... believing his record for not taking a shower was one month... and other stuff. i gotta call him sometime next week he says.

wayne from UCT thought i was a horny girl cause things on my journal like "girls just want to have fun", "sex drives are outrageous", and "undress me". but jackie told him i was a virgin & an angel at that. i might be able to go to their show at skatezone on friday... if i'm not doing anything... and then meet them afterwards? *shrug* we'll see. <3

goodnight. <3 loneliness is taking over.

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boricuababy

:: 2004 26 June :: 8.35pm
:: Mood: wore out
:: Music: jesus walks-Kanye West

woo..today was alotta funn!!..we went to tha rapids..it wuz koo..we got there around 10 in tha morning and left around 6:45 ish..even tho we had a good time ALOT went wrong..lol..first i got a concussion on a ride..lol.. i went on one of the new slides called the "baby blue"..i dunno..lol..maybe u've heard of it..itz this big blue slide and u twirl around and all..then u get dropped into this bowl kind thing and swirl around that and fall thru a hole into a 7ft pool..so as i was swirlin around that thing i knocked my head..next thing i knew..i was surrounded by all these lifegaurd ppl..lol..now i got a big lump on the back of my head..and while that happened my bathing suit top snapped in tha front where all the shells were..yea major boob action when i came to..talk bout embarrassing!!..i ghetto-ed it out for tha rest of the day tho..and it lasted..lol..then i went right back on tha ride..my mom wasnt too happy..she was soo freaked out..she wanted to leave afta that..but we stayed..then we did all tha other slides..then i got my "sun headache"..thats wha i called it..lol..itz that if im out for long periods of time in tha sun i get all dizzy n shit..so i left my brother on the lazy river and told him to meet me back when he was done..cuz we were gonna start leaving soon..45 minutes later he still didnt show up..so i freaked out n looked all over for him..another hour later i found the kid..my mom was pissed at me cuz i left him alone..blah blah blah..but i found him..lol..thatz all that matters..so where was he u ask?? hitting on these girls..lol..its his bday so i cut him sum slack..so while i was going crazy lookin for my brother before my mom killed me..one of the lifegaurds was trynna holla at me..he was scary lookin..he jumped over tha bars fromthe lazy river to the bridge i was standing on and wuz like "dont i kno u from some where??"..and he wanted my number..then his i guess supervisor came yelling at him..thats when i got away..lol..yea so that was pretty muhc my whole day..exciting??..lol..ayy..im so tired..the sun really wore me out

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playmate101

:: 2004 26 June :: 2.27am
:: Mood: pissed off
:: Music: your the only one // maria mena

I NEED ADVICE / OPINIONS
recently my parents have caught on to my 14 yr old brother smoking... they have caught him before smoking cigarettes in the bathroom late at night. he got punished badly, n it was upsetting... but he did what he did.

now i KNOW he is up to it again. tonight i walked outta the bathroom at about 2:15am & smelt smoke... it was funny because the only person who does smoke... is my mom & she was sleeping. so i went to my brother's bedroom door... and i smelt it more. then he came up from behind me because he was in the kitchen & goes...

tommy: "what r u doing?"
briana: "dude, ur room smells like smoke!"
tommy: "idk y."
briana: "maybe because u were smoking?! duh"
tommy: "no i don't do that stuff."
briana: "yuh ok" *walks away*

5 minutes later.

tommy: "briana come in my room for a minute."
briana: "what?"
tommy: "idk what to do, its just addicting, plz don't tell mommy & daddy, i know its wrong, but i can't stop."
briana: "tommy, i have to. what if this shit kills u in 15-30 years? or what if u drop the shit on the floor & the house catches on fire or something? what if u wind up with lung cancer at the age of 18? u obviously don't understand the stuff is wrong, nasty, and needs to be taken care of!"
tommy: "i know but please don't tell them because they will get all mad."
briana: "tommy, i can't stop u from doing it, n obviously u can't stop urself, so daddy & mommy need to stop u, because they have their controls of doing so. its just to take care of my brother... i gotta make choices i don't wanna, but its for ur own good."
tommy: "briana, please!"

and i walked away...

should i tell my parents, or not? i know he doesn't wanna suffer from being grounded... my dad yelling, etc. but i don't want him to suffer death early. =/ i'm so confused.

leave comments & help me out. PLEASE <3

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boricuababy

:: 2004 25 June :: 9.10pm
:: Mood: thinkin...

these are all my favorite poems that pac wrote

I Cry-
Sometimes when I'm alone I Cry,
Cause I am on my own.
The tears I cry are bitter and warm.
They flow with life but take no form
I Cry because my heart is torn.
I find it difficult to carry on.
If I had an ear to confiding,
I would cry among my treasured friend,
but who do you know that stops that long,
to help another carry on.
The world moves fast and it would rather pass by.
Then to stop and see what makes one cry,
so painful and sad.
And sometimes...
I Cry
and no one cares about why

When Your Hero Falls-
when your hero falls from grace
all fairy tales r uncovered
myths exposed and pain magnified
the greatest pain discovered
u taught me 2 be strong
but im confused 2 c u so weak
u said never 2 give up
and it hurts 2 c u welcome defeat
when ure hero falls so do the stars
and so does the perception of tomorrow
without my hero there is only
me alone 2 deal with my sorrow
your heart ceases 2 work
and your soul is not happy at all
what r u expected 2 do
when your only hero falls.

And Tomorrow-
Today is filled with anger, fueled with hidden hate.
Scared of being outkast, afraid of common fate.
Today is built on tragedies which no one want's to face.
Nightmares to humanity and morally disgraced.
Tonight is filled with Rage, violence in the air.
Children bred with ruthlessness cause no one at home cares.
Tonight I lay my head down but the pressure never stops,
knowing that my sanity content when I'm dropped.
But tomorrow I see change, a chance to build a new,
build on spirit intent of heart and ideas based on truth.
Tomorrow I wake with second wind and strong because of pride.
I know I fought with all my heart to keep the dream alive

In The Event of My Demise-
In the event of my Demise
when my heart can beat no more
I Hope I Die For A Principle
or A Belief that I had Lived 4
I will die Before My Time
Because I feel the shadow's Depth
so much I wanted 2 accomplish
before I reached my Death
I have come 2 grips with the possibility
and wiped the last tear from My eyes
I Loved All who were Positive
In the event of my Demise

In The Depths of Solitude-
i exist in the depths of solitude
pondering my true goal
trying 2 find peace of mind
and still preserve my soul
constantly yearning 2 be accepted
and from all receive respect
never comprising but sometimes risky
and that is my only regret
a young heart with an old soul
how can there be peace
how can i be in the depths of solitude
when there r 2 inside of me
this duo within me causes
the perfect oppurtunity
2 learn and live twice as fast
as those who accept simplicity



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