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boricuababy

:: 2004 19 August :: 8.34pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: Dreaming of You-Selena

this year is nothing like what i thought it was gonna start off like..
we've been in school no more than a little more than a week and i've already been hit wid so much crap that i dunno what to do with it all..it's so frustrating and stressful..and it's not only school stuff..family is playing a big part in all this too..my mom and i have talked a couple of times already about getting out of IB..i completely went against everything she was saying..i love ATL..u all kno that..just check out my bag..lol..and everybody's at ATL..so i dont wanna leave...and i was so looking foward to cheering on varsity this year too..but it's all kinda headed the opposite way..my mom said if by the end of 1st quarter..if i have any C's or D's shez pulling me out whether i like it or not..my whole thing about it all is that i dont wanna regret it in the long run and i dont wanna feel like i've wasted the past two years of my life..u kno??..and im thinking i made it this far..why not keep going??..but it goes deeper than that..family issues..blah blah blah..it's hard to understand..i know my mom is just lookin out for me but shez juss throwing all this crap at me at once..so it makes it all even more stressful..if i did get out..i'd have to go to Olympic..i REALLY dont wanna go there..i'd rather go to West Boca..but i dont even wanna get out..i do but i dont..i wanna have a life..i DONT wanna leave all my friends..especially sam amara sameen n amy..i wanna be able to get into UF..i dont wanna stay up really late doing homework every night..i dunno..maybe im making a big deal outta it..but im confused and i need to get my priorities straight

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spinoangel

:: 2004 18 August :: 6.26pm
:: Music: jealous sound - "recovery room"

sometimes i wonder
if people can see the welling in my eyes
if they can sense the tenseness in my face
if they know how much i want to go away
if they feel me drifting far off into myself
if they can hear my heart as it falls to the ground
if they know how much i love/miss them

i wonder what could happen if i could just end it all ? is there a place called heaven, or would i just go be reincarnated and start hell on earth all over again, but this time even worse? my life is great, ya know? it really is. i just don't feel great. so many times in the day i feel more like an outsider than i have in all of high school. you think that wouldnt happen since it's junior year, but its true. i don't see my friends, and when i do, i can't truly enjoy my time with them. the only thing i look forward to during the day is going home with danielle. if not for that, i'd be sobbing into greta's shoulder everyday. but that doesnt sound too bad every now and then either. it's simply asinine and unnecessary for me to put myself down and feel like crap all the time. but i dont know. i cant help it.

just forget everything that i said and wash out the wounds.

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boricuababy

:: 2004 17 August :: 8.26pm
:: Mood: depressed

i am sooo fricken stressed out right nowwww

i need somebody to talk to other than my mom..and either everyonez away or people arent on..:(..guess imma hafta wait..itz no biggie

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boricuababy

:: 2004 16 August :: 7.57pm
:: Music: Hot Boyz-Missy

omg..this week is gonna be maddd busy for meee
today i went to cheer practice..only it wasnt really a practice..we mixed and matched the uniorms we had left..and we decided to go wid the white ones for now..we're gonna buy our own tho so that'll be hott..first game is the jamboree..august 27th..go!!..lol..and we're gonna start selling spirit shirts this friday..$10..they're cute..buy one..:D..tomoro i have pictures for the football program book..and then more practice..im the main flyer this year so look out for me!!..lol..wednesday i gotta take my spanish exam..not looking foward to that one..im kinda doing bio now..err..pissing me off..i cant find the answers..gotta go read for social ant. and history..and i think we have a spanish quiz too..which sucks ass..neways..hit me up laterrzz..x0x0

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boricuababy

:: 2004 15 August :: 2.13pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: Dickey Ride

amara got tickets to the VMA's!!!!
wow..that is so frickin koo!!..im happy for them..better take pictures!!..lol

sammi came over last nite..we hung out at my house..saw barbershop 2..i love that movie..sam liked it too.."i can't talk bout luther vandross??..whattttt cha gon do bout it??"..lol..cedric the entertainer is so funny..after the movie we had chinese food!! that was good..then we juss chilled in my room..and pretty much just talked..that was funny..our little "scenes"..lol..u hadda be there..she stayed till like around 11:30-ish..then we took her home..wen we got back we watched the dvd we had bought earlier.."the best of cedric the entertainer"..lol..that was hilarious!! u gotta see it..today's just been a really lazy day..i've been up only two hours but im already sleepy..i think it's the weather..rainy..n icky..i went to publix with my moms and i went to the deli to get ham n salami and the lady didnt speak english..wow..that was interesting..lol..i didnt get her she didnt get me..jon and pat let like an hour ago for baseball practice..this week is gonna be really busy..im not lookin foward to it..lol..cheer practice monday..pictures on tues..and last yrs. spanish exam on wednesday..errr..oh well..gotta get over it..

meli-this friday for sure!!..lol

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