idont wanna feel this small

:: 2004 31 April :: 7.45am
:: Mood: _LoVeD_
:: Music: bailey's sexy jams

hey hey guyz,
sorry i havnt been updating my journal lately.... it doesnt work on my computer ne more. so ima update it everytime i come to baileys [[everyday]] lol. I am So lOveD... By mOna, cHrIs, aNd bAiley!!!! yAy.
anywayz. ima go. bailey and i r doing paint thingys and talkin on the phone and then we're watchin darkness falls & freddy vs. jason...[[bring it on jason]] [[lol]]

I loVe YOU!!
LaLa

4 alone | cant handle this

thoughtskill

:: 2004 31 January :: 12.15am

kevin aley sucks cock =]

1 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 27 January :: 8.28pm
:: Mood: frustrated

Finally updating woohu
yeah i knwo i aint updated in a while..its cuz of my new livejournal..its hard to keep up wif cuz liek alot of my friends have it and yeah its fun ya kno!!

yeah i had a HORRIBLE day today..i did something horrible!! i dont know wat im surposed to do, for the few of you that know about wat happened, what do u think that i sould do??

And chels..if i really had to go to that *place* we were talkin about..would u really go wif me?? It would mean alot to me..but i cant tell my mom..i dont know waht im surpsoed to do here..

Im going to call steve rite now..i think..im not sure i think i mite wanna do it in person..but im leavin rite now either way ive gotten sick twice..cryin soo hard and soo frustrated..and den i have this HUGE HUGE killin pain in my side.soo ima go!!

Luv you all bye!!

2 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 25 January :: 10.58am
:: Mood: _GrRrREd_

~~TRAFALGAR GIRLS VBALL TEAM~~
I HATE THEM!!! yea, they went on to play at dunbar and won. and their coach was just sitting on the bench with his "california look" and his elvis sunglasses acting as if it was no sweat. grrr.. n then when dunbar called timeout he would continue sitting on the bench. referee asked "dont they need your words of wisdom?" and coach replied "they're ok" and let them talk amongst themselves. AHHHH. n then "im looking forward to next year. we should be good" they r gonna hav 8 returning players next year. GULF-- WE GOTTA KICK THEY'RE A**' ! lol i thought i would let you all know that the trafalgar "tough's out title" on the front page of the youth sports section in the news press. pic and all. BIG ARTICLE. it pains me to know that that page shoulda coulda and woulda belonged to us. GET EM NEXT YEAR!
~~TRAFALGAR~~
thought i would let yall know

:: 2004 24 January :: 8.19am
:: Mood: _i dONT knOw aNd nEiTHeR SHoulD YOu_

__________
today was the best. i woke up at 8.59 and thought it was a school day so i started panicking. lol. then i relized after about 5 minutes, that, no, it wasnt after all. bailey and i went to my neighbors at 10 and ate breakfast. a man [[mark]] came [[he's english. he had an accent and everything!]] and highlited my hair as well as mom's, peg's, maria's, and pams. a cut, color, and style for all of us. i got a funky lookin style, but itz the style in england. [[ and mark would kno he did hair in england for nearly 20 years!!]] bailey liked it so i guess i have nothing to worry about! lol
ne way then my aunt and 2 cuzin's came down from sarasota. my aunt is a massage therapist so most of us got massages. [[well me and bailey didnt]] so now im at my house, baileys gone, and im sittin here on the computer talking to ethan. GrEaT. dave went to pick up mark and josh from busch gardens, and mia is over at her friend amy's house. so im all alone. bailey invited me to spend the night but my cousins r here so i couldnt [[sorry bailey]] [[i <3 you!! call me in the mornin]] okey dokey. wow i say that a lot. lmao
okey dokey,
LaLa
K LoVeS c!!!
lol... kayla....

:: 2004 24 January :: 6.38pm

current clothing: My aeropostal monkey pj outfit!!
current mood: Semi happy..kinda sad..
current taste: Dr. Pepper hehe
current hair: Jus flipped out n sideways..short hair..easy..wash..blow dry..DONE! heh
current annoyance: Joshie n Ryan..stupid assholes!
current smell: Sweet pea..tho steve likes my cucumber melon kind better!! =)
current thing you ought to be doing: Well watchin american weddin wif joshie n ryan
current jewelry: Watch..n a Steve necklace..jamee got me! =p
current book: Im readin please stop laughin at me agains
current refreshment: Dr. Pepper
current worry: That i wont see steve all weekend =/
current crush: Korse steve
current favorite celebrity: Jessica Beil or Katie Holmes
current longing: longing? wat mite dat be? like wat i want..mhmm to talk to chels..
current music: What dat hook gon be? *Murphy lee*
current wish: That i could see my baby!!=/
current lyric in your head: What dat hook gon be..see i dont need no motha fuckin hook on dis beat, all i need is da track in da background my headphones blarin.....
current makeup (if you're a girl!): Nothing..im bein lazy t day!
current undergarments: Wow why u wanna know? =p
current regret: Sayin those f'ing evil things i said to britt..
current desktop picture: Uhm let me check..a big pic of da freshmen v ball team this year!! =) 7-2 gurls..keep it up!!
current plans for tonight/weekend: Tonight..jus giong over to ryans..n hangin wif dem..2mmarow gotta go to mitches to work on our german project..gotta get those grades up ya know =/
current cuss word du jour: Fuck you!! =) or my nickname from jiggy samual flipper n arie-Shortshit =p..jiggy-brenda samual-samantha flipper-angela arie-arienna
current disappointment: That i dont get to see my baby boo korse
current amusement: Adam going on and on and on about Amanda..its really cute! Luv you babes! =p
current IM/person you're talking to: Steff..stacey..megs..adam..n tiff!! =)
current love: Steve..if its love..
current obsession: Dr. Pepper i guess =)
current avoidance: Prolly ryan n joshie =)
current thing or things on your wall: In front of me theres a poster of Tupac..*sexxi*
current favorite book: Cut *very awesome..a msut read*
current favorite movie: I like alot..but maybe..jus married..save the last dance..love n basketball..american weddin..lots of em!! =)

currents!@*&!*@&^& brought to you by BZOINK!

:: 2004 24 January :: 6.10pm

+ Basics +
Are you emotional :: Sometimes it depends..
Do songs make you cry? If so, name a few :: No
What about movies :: Yesh, love n basketball, hardball, save the last dance, remember the titans *dont ask* =p
What emotion do you usually feel :: Prolly sad the mostest
+ Sadness +
What does it take to make you cry your heart out :: I unno losin a friend..
How many times have you done that :: Like 3 times =(
Where do you cry :: Usually by myself
Do you hate crying :: Yesh most of the time
Do you like it when others cry :: No, cuz dat would mean thier sad bout sumpthin =(
Do you think tears make eyes look pretty :: Yesh!!
Who looks good when they cry :: James, or Cassie
How else do you express sadness :: poems mostly
Are you sad all the time :: I guess u could say dat..
+ Anger +
What does it take to make you mad :: Not a whole lot =p
What do you do when you're angry :: scream, yell, bitch lots!! =)
How short is your temper :: Well it depends on da situation
How long does it take you to calm down :: Not too long really!!
What's the worst thing you've done when you were mad :: Uhm, i unno ask another time =p
Do you freak out when others are angry :: No i usually try n chill em out!
Has anyone ever recommended anger management to you :: No lol
What's the worst thing someone's done to make you mad :: I dont know that either..
Do you anger people :: Sometimes =/
+ Joy +
How often are you happy :: Depends..try to be all da time
What makes you happy :: Being wif my friends, or bf, or doing somethin fun
What do you do when you're happy :: Giggle alot =p *giggles*
How optimistic are you :: not very..
Do happy people make you mad :: No not at all
What's the worst thing someone can do while they're happy :: I dont know..why would some1 do something bad when thier happy?
Ever been so happy you were dying to tell everyone :: yeah!! =) prolly 11*21*03 =p
Ever been so happy you cried :: yeah, i cry alot!!
Do you smile a lot :: Yesh, i try!
Kiss people a lot:: Yesh =p
Who really makes you happy :: Britt, Steve, Ali, Stacey, lots of ppl!!
Do you like doing things for people when you're happy :: yesh korse! Spread da joy!!
+ Fear +
What do you do when you're scared :: I usually hid under my blankie =) lol
What scares you :: Losing my friends
Do you like scaring people :: Yesh its fun!
Do you like the trill of being frightened :: Yesh, not all da time tho!
Does fear accompany anger in your case :: No
Ever been so scared you couldn't breathe :: Yesh a few times
How often do you panic :: Not alot actually
What's the one thing that scared you more than anything else EVER :: Losing brittany =(
What do you do to calm your nerves :: Forget bout it..
Do rollercoasters scare you :: Heck no!! =)
+ The strongest emotion +
What song never fails to get your strongest emotions going :: *Dear mama* or *changes* by Tupac
Movie :: Hardball or Remember the titans *long story* =p
Commericial :: I hate commercials but prolly..da..hadababyitsaboy..LMFAO!!
Person :: Brittany ali stacey or steve =)
Thing :: My Happy monkey!!
Sight :: Someone crying
Sound :: Someone cryin or yellin or somethin to dat effect..
Food :: Ice cream or chocolate!! lol
Thing you're looking forward to/want :: Being kidnapped by my baby ali..seein stacey..or brit =)..mostly bein kidnapped tho heh
+ What do you do +
When the emotion suck :: cry prolly
When the emotion rocks :: Be loud, smile, be weird lol
When there's no emotion :: cry agains
+ Would you rather +
Never feel again :: yesh i would
Feel loneliness or anger for the rest of your life :: anger, i hate being lonely =(
Be happy forever and never experience bad times :: yeah sure y not
Cause misery :: No way
Feel misery :: uhm no..
Be alone :: Hell no!!
Be with everyone you know :: Yesh!!
+ Who +
Cheers you up more than anyone else :: Ali jean korse
Angers you more than anyone else :: Brittney stewart prolly da mostest but not all da time!
Scares you more than anyone else :: Tiffany..damn her..almost made me die one time lol
Makes you think about your emotions more than anyone else :: Cassie smith prolly
Makes you really care about how they feel and what they think :: Brittany =)

Emotions brought to you by BZOINK!

:: 2004 24 January :: 1.28pm
:: Mood: fuckin pissed off!!!

I bet you all 10$$ that me n my moms will have to leave t nite!!

Any takers? =/

And if im gone fo a couple of days or so..den im at katies..but i mite not have to leave..not sure yet..

All i know is dat THEY WILL FIGHT T DAY..you watch i know they will..my step dad is f'ing pissed..

And ya know wats funny.its my damn fault again..wow go figure..aint it always? =(

I dont give a fuck anyway..oh wells..bye!!

:: 2004 24 January :: 11.31am
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: megans singin..dats a first and last =p

as time goes on..
Well i got a livejournal..and a xanga and im not sure if im going to keep this one up or not..but i mite..cuz im not sure dat im going to be able to figure out da livejournal..and yeah xanga i forgot how much it sucked =p

But yeah britt talked to me last nite..im soo happy!! Im not sure where things r going from there..but ya know im not going to burst my bubble!! hehe *p.s. britt u didnt need to be srry..im da one dat needs to be..and is soo very much*

Chelsie i luv you thanks!! I didnt know a blonde could be so rite all da damn time =p lol im only kiddin u knwo i luv you babes!!

Megan if u need me im here fo you..anyday anytime..whenever babes!! I luv you soo much and i care bout you lots..dont ever forget dat!! =)

Other den dat aint got nothing to say really..britt n all of dem are at busch gardens rite now..i hope thier havin a great time!!

Yeah was surposed to go to da mall wif megs..but NO! oh well i dont give a u fuck..im bout to call jessica to see wat shes doing t day cuz i dont wanna be here..so byes!

:: 2004 23 January :: 11.13am
:: Mood: _oK_
:: Music: thru the wire kayne west

win a date wih tad hamilton
hey hey itz 11 13 pm. tonight i went to the movies. i saw chris there. of course he's to cool to hang out with "preps" so he goes off with his "freak" friends. ok whatever. so it was bailey me meghan marquez, lacey and emily. just the girls. yes kayla, the movie was great and i know u'll love it!! lol
i love this song
"thru the wire, to the limit, to the wall
for just the chance to be with you i'd gladly risk it all.
right down to the wire even thru the fire..."
AWESOME!!
well. at the movies rachel slapped. chris go mad and right before he left he was talkin to rachel about sumthin. i dont know what tho. and then rachel started to go off on sum1 else. itz like she wants to go to jail.
w/e.
i g2g
hollA
LaLa

1 alone | cant handle this

:: 2004 23 January :: 6.02am
:: Mood: ______

hey hey lala,
================================
ok today was ok... the usual... chris hanging around calli when calli says that she hates when he follows her. lol. kayla and me [[peeing]]{{lol kayla}} ne wayz i have 2 choices for tonight. babysitttin or movies. i cant decide which one. that like trying to decide money$$$ or fUn. hMmM...
so now im sittin at the computer bored to tears.
'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
okey dokey ima go!!!! muahz!!
hollA
LaLa

:: 2004 23 January :: 4.16pm
:: Mood: pissed off

And it continues still..
Whew chelsie was talkin bout all of her good grades yesterday and we got our report cards t day so i thought that i would jus post mine on here and show you all that i didnt fail every class like i thought that i was going to..but yeah thier stil horrible..but i dont give a fuck..here they r::

Intro to print media-E exam-B final grade-D
Core plus math-E exam B+ final grade-E
Phys Ed-C exam-B- final grade-C
Tech-C exam-D+ final grade-C
Earth Science-E exam E final grade E
Freshmen trans-B+ exam-E final grade-C
Lit comp-E exam-D final grade-E
German-C exam-B final grade C+

Yeah sucky eh? =/ oh well..neways bye..

Make sure you read the three entries before this one!! =)

:: 2004 22 January :: 10.13pm

And last but certainitly not least..brittany marie gamester..

Yeah as most of you already know..me and britt have been havin alot of problems, im not really sure wats going on, but i really fucked up this time, i ruined everything, really i did..=(

But ya know wat, brittany still means more to me than anything in the whole world, brittany will always be my best friend even if she is upset and doesnt want to talk to me..tho i really really really dont blame her..But really brittany i seriously cant live without you, ur the best thing dats ever happened to me, im srry for all of the pain that ive ever caused you, it wasnt on purpose, i would never ever want to hurt you, tho i know i have ohh soo many times..

Brittany your the only reason that i wake up in the morning to face a new day, ur the only reason that im living, your the only person that has NO MATTER WAT, through EVERYTHING, through all of the shit ive put you through ur the ONLY person that has been there fo me through it all..no matter wat..you were always there, no questions asked..And i wish that i would have been a better friend and was there like you were there fo me and would have appreciated everything that i had while i had it..now i know wat they mean by that quote *Appreciate wat you have while you have it, cuz 2marro it mite be gone* ='(

Id give anything to get you back and to get things back to the way thigns used to be, anything..=(

But i guess im not the one dat has to make that decision..but britt member dat i do luv you soo much and id do anything fo you, and i will ALWAYS be here for yo no matter wat..i luv you!!

Rockergurl217: when was this anyway
J d shortier 623: when was wat?
Rockergurl217: that u did that thing
J d shortier 623: wat thing?
Rockergurl217: THA THING!
Rockergurl217: U KNOW WHAT THING!~
J d shortier 623: dat c** m***** thing?
Rockergurl217: yesh'
Rockergurl217: that!
when!?
J d shortier 623: uhm...
J d shortier 623: :: 2003 23 October :: 11.43 pm
Rockergurl217: �
Rockergurl217: wats today the25th?
J d shortier 623: uh huh
Rockergurl217: so were back to 2?!
Rockergurl217: 141! HOLY SHIT JILLY!
J d shortier 623: :-\
Rockergurl217: thats great gurly
J d shortier 623: no its not!!
Rockergurl217: any idea how proud i am of you?
J d shortier 623: I wanna write big too...i feel over poweredO:-)
Rockergurl217: lol
J d shortier 623: no its not good!!
Rockergurl217: yesh it is jillane
J d shortier 623: Jill*
Rockergurl217: jill you have no idea how proud i am of you
Rockergurl217: soooo
Rockergurl217: soooo
J d shortier 623: You souldnt be!!
Rockergurl217: sooo
Rockergurl217: damn proud
Rockergurl217: u made it fuckin 141 days!
J d shortier 623: DONT BE!
Rockergurl217: thats like *counts*
J d shortier 623: dont try n count babe it'll be okay:-P
Rockergurl217: almost 5 months!
Rockergurl217: i used a calculater:-P:-P
J d shortier 623: haha:-P cheater
Rockergurl217: that is so great and so were back to 2? who cares we can easily make it again
J d shortier 623: it sould of and could and would of been longer!! :-\ dats not long enough
Rockergurl217: so then itll be easier to make it up n keep going jill dont put urself down cuz of this its otay itll be otay cuz i love u n were gonna make it longer okay?

^^A great example of britt always being there fo me and always tryin to cheer me up.. i luv you more than words could ever explain..dont ever forget dat..=/

Well dats enough ppl fo rite now..im dead tired..=( byes ppl!!