:: 2003 8 September :: 4.54 pm

Howdy y'all.

So, not much going on. I'm pretty much over the painful stuff, right now I'm on cruise control which kindof sucks but it's better than driving backwards.

Katie, can you get me that FLCL CD tomorrow? It'd be gr8.

I'm bored. I'm going to play Space Quest 5.

See ya.

3 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 6 September :: 6.10 pm

YES!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I'VE FINALLY BEEN PUT ON YAHOO'S LAUNCH LIST OF THE TOP 5 BIGGEST FANS OF BALLYDOWSE!!!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOREVER!!!!!

Ahem. anywho... I practiced archery at the KCCL today for the first time in a long time.

I'm sure there was something else...

Oh yes. I'm going to leave my little world of What If. It's sucks. I'm not doing anything. Everything there is so bogged down by fear and worry that I can't move. It's a horrible planet to live on, and I'm taking the next shuttle out that God provides. I've heard it hurts a little when you reach the upper atmosphere, but after that your sailing again in warm, light-and-life filled space. no more what ifs or maybes. whatever's happened all I can do is move forward, hang on to the faith Christ gave me and... leave. Forever.

Anyway. I love lake Michigan. Someday I hope to see an actual ocean.

[edit, 6:26 PM]

I remeber what it is I wanted to tell y'all- this is a website for Christian Goths, for those interested. Mainly it's about music. It's pretty good as far as I've looked into it. They've got an online radio, it's okay but it doesn't always work for me.

http://balaamsmiracle.cjb.net/

7 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 5 September :: 6.43 pm

I'm so sick of this, this stupid cycle. One day everythings fine the next I'm afraid of everything and now I'm starting to envy all the people like newscasters and teachers and actors that always look so happy. But I shouldn't, that's wrong.

I just wish there was a clear answer to all my problems. Don't we all, though. I've wandered a little, I've got to get back to the basic things- trusting in God and His promises.

I've been ahving a weird, burning feeling in my head for a while now. I don't know if it's from stress or the head injury I sustained a while ago at camp, or something else. I wish it would go away.

3 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 4 September :: 5.33 pm

Hi I'm feeling much better!

Fall came on fast, didn't it? Gray sky, cool wind, dying plants, and now pants. i want to go to Klackles, they've grow the best apples there in the world. And carmel apples.

I think my English teacher thinks well of me, i'm worried it's going to be a repeat of eighth grade... Brett would understand... I think I've changed sense then, I'm not as decietful as I was, and not as hypocritical, although I still am. 'Flesh Kyle' is still trying to win me back, but I know God can beat him down for me. The only road away from my past is the one that leads to God, I've found out.

I'm reading Milton's 'Paradise Lost.' It's been called the greatest epic poem ever written in the English language, and so far the critics have been proven correct. It's about the battle between Heaven and Hell, and guessing about what's going on with that. It's really good, I wish there was more of an interest in poems nowadays. Rachel's are cool, too :) .

So I hope you all have a great day, I'd suggest taking a long walk outside. This is probably the last time this year you'll see green.

2 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 3 September :: 4.59 pm

Hi!

Isn't kindof weird how things are tense on here, and then at school we're all fine (well, most of us)? Are we just putting up facades there or are we really resolving issues?

Anyway, not much going on here.

3 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 1 September :: 5.21 pm

Okay it turns out I don't need my science book and I had the worksheets with me and I don't need to write a lab report! :)

We finally got a printer! Now I can print out Kanchi and get started!

I've been reading a lot of CS Lewis lately, I just read "The Great Divorce". It was kindof depressing, it was about all these people who got to heaven and decided to go back to Hell for stupid reasons. But it really makes you think, what's holding me back from Christ?

So that's my question for the week, I'm sure there's something but it's hard to tell what it is. I don't like those stealthy problems. Prayer helps. I'd advise you guys look into it, too. :)

Later days.

1 Grrr | Growl!

:: 2003 1 September :: 3.37 pm

ANOTHER BATTLE WON!!!!!!
I can't leave you people alone for two days can I??!! :)

I had an okay vacation. I learned that diaharia + woods + getting lost = bad. The hard way.

I left my chemistry book at school so now I can't do my homework and I'm scared because I'm already on Mr. S's bad side. :(

But enough about me. How come everyone's down? They shouldn't be giving us the stress of school when we're still under stress from hormones. Or at least build us a disco to undwind at. But I'm glad to know most people are recovering, or seem to be...

3 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 29 August :: 10.22 am
:: Music: Jeni Varnadeau -- I See You

3 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 27 August :: 9.08 pm

I guess I just don't know who I am anymore. I want to be myself, but I don't know who that is. I'm sure Kyle has something to say, he doesn't always just sit there silently whether people are joking, talking to eachother about cards, or blasting everything he stands for. He wouldn't do that, no one should do that. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't need to make jokes out of everything that comes along, especially sense he's not that funny. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't just think about himself all the time, that he'd actually care about others. I'm almost positive he has better posture.

I guess I lost myself in my search to find something else to hide behind, other than the only thing that served me well- the faith given to me. I definetly need to change, maybe retrace my steps a bit, go back to Him that freed me from what I'm in danger of subjecting myself to. God, tear off this dragon skin flesh and show me who you wanted me to be...

But of course I need to commit myself to spending time with him. You can't get well if you never step into the docter's office. Man, this is tough.

2 Grrrs | Growl!

:: 2003 27 August :: 6.44 pm

Hi

I don't really have anything to write about, except lately I think I've been getting worse. Like being meaner to people, being selfish with my time and not yielding to God's will and my prayer life is dwindeling, and things are kindof looking bleak to me. Maybe I'm getting worse- or maybe I'm just realising how bad I've become. I don't really know. But I know God promised me He'd always be with me if I beleive in him, which I do.

Other than that things are somewhat dull.

1 Grrr | Growl!

:: 2003 26 August :: 4.06 pm

Hi!

I'm really, really happy right now, I just heard from someone I hadn't heard from in a really really long time. Really really. Really.

My classes were alright, today I thought I was passing out of this world with having Calculus and Honers Chemistry right in a row for first and second hour :P but band woke me right up. I think I might have a chance in that class this year.

I just found out a band called Powerman 5000, I like what I hear so far... maybe it's worthy of being called a band the great Kyleman enjoys. Or maybe not. It will have to pass "the test".

So that's about all. Oh, Rachel, did you delete that picture yet? I really want to read your journal.

See ya's!

2 Grrrs | Growl!