eddy
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2006 6 July :: 1.06am
I Love You.
(You know who you are)
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eddy
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2006 3 July :: 11.21pm
So stay, sweetly numb.
Remain lifeless, love.
-Davey Havok - "Affliction"
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moomoo
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2006 30 June :: 1.09pm
So life has been going okay I guess. I've had a few ups and downs the last couple of days. I found out I cant go to college in Traverse city, Because it would take me a extra year and half up there and I'm not about to waste all that money. So I'm back to going to GRCC and Ferris. I'm sure I will figure things out. Kinda sad I cant go to college with Tasha though, but at least were closer now so we can visit each other anytime we want. Last night at work I got caught by the health inspector eating out of the fry thing. So I guess I'm getting written up and maybe a 3 day suspension. I hope it starts on a Friday so I get a weekend off. I'm just kinda laughing about the whole situation not really taking it seriously lol. I hope sometime I can make it to the sand lake festival. I have Monday off so maybe the stuff will still be going on then. Well if anyone wants to go or has something to do this weekend, give me a call.
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chelthesmell
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2006 29 June :: 4.27pm
I've been thinking...
I've been losing friends left and right. Every move I make could cost me a friendship. I had started watching what I was doing/saying so I wouldn't hurt anybody or offend anyone. I didn't want anyone mad at me and I didn't want any conflict or drama to go on...
Half of the people I used to talk to everyday dont even want anything to do with me anymore. For example:: a bunch of my friends are all going to Lake Michigan on Saturday. I didn't find out until Ashley asked if I was going. No one invited me, no one was going to invite me...
Yet no matter how hard I tried to keep everyone happy, things just manage to blow up in my face. I get fucked over everytime I try to keep something going.
It's stupid...
I'm done with being polite and trying to make people like me.
This is who I am::
I drink, I dont have a problem or anything, I just drink. And I dont party with complete strangers, I have fun with friends that I know will take care of me and make sure nothing bad happens to me.
I'm selfish. I like money. After being so unhappy with my parents being in dept most of my life and always wishing to be someone else because of what they have, I do believe that money buys happiness no matter what anyone says.
I hold grudges easily and for a long time. It takes so long for me to get over something even if it's just a little thing and I know that it will all be cleared up in no time, there's still something inside of me that is pissed and wont let it go.
I have a problem with opening up to people.
I dont cry in front of people. I dont like letting everyone know I have a weakness. I dont like people pittying me. It makes me feel stupid and I dont like that feeling too much.
I'm judgemental but I hate being judged.
I have terrible grammar when it comes to typing things online.
I really dont care.
I'm a procrastinator.
I like things to go my way and no other way.
I get pissed when my plans get ruined.
I'm messy. I hate cleaning.
I dont care what people think of me. I used to but things are starting to change.
You either love me or you hate me, there is really no inbetween.
Mindy and Ashley are my 2 best friends in the whole wide world.
And I have a piece of shit car, but atleast it has a speeddometor now.
So this is who I am. If you dont like it, then oh well.
I can make new friends just as fast as I can get read of them.
I hate saying goodbye. But if people dont like who I am, than I suppose it is time. I'm not going to say I dont need anybody, I'm just need someone who's going to be there and like me for me, no matter what my flaws are.
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eddy
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2006 26 June :: 5.47pm
If I wasn't a hardcore Misanthropist before....
I certainly am now.
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eddy
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2006 26 June :: 5.15pm
Trevor Hall - The Aftermath
I sold my shoes,
for a front-row seat on the moon.
Well I've found all that I can save,
and I still got the blues.
See I picked up the blade,
and shaved my beard.
I walked back into town,
with nothin' to fear.
Well I picked up my mess,
and I put it in the ground.
Well I watered it down,
waited for the sea to spill,
to spill. Yeah.
Well silence fills the air when it's raining.
But I don't see anyone complaining. Yeah yeah.
Well truth, it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out.
Well I took my last rose,
And I threw it in the fire.
I gathered all the ashes, yeah.
Started my empire.
What is it to you?
Well man I'll do what I please.
And when I pray for you,
I don't expect you to pray for me.
Well silence fills the air when it's raining.
Oh, but I don't see anyone complaining.
Well truth it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out.
Well I took a bath.
In the constellation aftermath.
When I jumped off that stone,
You see I looked upon this, plastic place, and I saved it with all my grace.
Well silence fills the air when it's raining,
Oh but I don't see anyone complaining.
Well truth it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out. Yeah.
Silence fills the air when it's raining.
Oh but I don't see anyone complaining.
Well truth it pokes it's head out.
Yeah truth it pokes it's head out.
Truth, it pokes it head out....
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chelthesmell
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2006 24 June :: 3.20pm
:: Mood: hung over
:: Music: bar noices
last night
Well things were fun at Chris's. Everyone had a good time. Granted some people are retarded but oh well. Fuck it. I give up. I'm just not fat enough right Mindy! lol. I really dont fucking care anymore what anyone thinks. Esspecially last night man. I was a bitch. But in my mind, I think I had every right to be. Oh well. What's done is done and it will never happen again. I was stupid and I should have known better. But a little fucking agknowledgment would have made me a little bit happier. Not much, but some. Oh well. I'm going to marry Aj anyways. lol. The love of my life that will never make me work or pay for boose because I'm pretty. lol. I love that kid, I'm going to miss him while he's gone.
Smashly came for a little while yestereday but then she pussied out. oh well...*shrugs* It would have been ten times more awesome with her there though.
I decided that my brother is the only one allowed to know bits and peices about my "party hardy" lifestyle I've got going on. Because my loud mouth sister made the mistake of letting my mother find out about my after prom party experiance. I made it rated pg though for my mothers sensitive ears though. I swear sometimes, I think I just might be able to get away with murder with these people. Unless I killed Neta. Because they like her more than anyone else. whatever...
Welp, that's my life in a nut shell. party last night was fun, party last weekend was fun. except for when I found a few details out about it last night that I didn't know about. That kinda pissed me off. oh well. I'm sure next weekend will be just as fun though, whatever I may decide to do.
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chelthesmell
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2006 23 June :: 7.43pm
well im at chris' house, sitting on sexy aj's lap. and yeah...that's about it
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eddy
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2006 23 June :: 1.59pm
God.....
....I hate this place and it's stupidity.
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moomoo
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2006 19 June :: 11.41am
So prly time for a update. Well Tasha came this weekend, which was pretty cool. My phone wasn't working all weekend but I went and got it fixed today. So if you think I just wasn't answering and blowing you off I really wasnt. I guess it hasn't been working since Wednesday, but it is all fixed now. Pretty soon we have our college visit. I'm so excited. To see see the rooms, find out what we need, and meet new people. I think it going to be a lot of fun. Plus we are staying at the great wolf lodge. I love that place.Well I'm on closing now for burger king. I'm going to be tired a lot lol. I hope everyone is having a fun summer, I know I am.
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chelthesmell
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2006 14 June :: 10.56pm
I think I'll be a stripper when I grow up...
I'm at Mindy's. My internet doesnt fucking work at my house. I have no fucking idea why it doesnt either. It's really starting to bug me but oh well. Not like I've been home much anyways...
Things have been awesome. Working and partying pretty much seem to be the only things on my agenda lately. lol. Went to the barn on saturday, went to some crazy party last night with 3 people from work and like a whole fucking trailor park was there. It was insane. I had a stripper sitting on my lap. She was fucking hillarious. She told me and Mindy that we could come to her house anytime and get drunk with her. We're like fucking right! lol! and then Saturday is my birthday and we're having a party and James' barn after Mindy and I get out of work. It's going to fucking rock. I'm going to get Ashley drunk for the first time. She's going to be so shit face it's going to be hillarious. And Tasha is coming up that day so it's going to be fucking cool! We're going to have so much fun. And I dont have to be to work the next day until 4 so that's kick ass it's self. So yeah. If you're cool you'll be at the party barn saturday night with some presents for me. (When I say presents, that's code for booze)
I've noticed lately that my parents are giving up on. I'm pretty much positive that they know I drink. and I think they dont care. As long as I'm not pregnent and still in school, I suppose nothing it wrong or something. But I fill them full of stupid shit all the time. Like I told them that I was going bowling with people from work last night and then I told them that I wasn't coming home from work on saturday because Mindy, Eddy, Jessica, and Ashley we're having a little "Girls night birthday party" for me (just go with it guys). and they just blew it off. They just dont care. It's insanly disturbing me how they dont care anymore. Like I'm afraid I'm going to be at a party and then they just pop up out of no where or some shit. It's creeping me out to be quite frank with you. But...oh well. What can you do...
Fuck it...!
Welp, I shall me off. My darling Mindy and I must be awakening early in the morn tomorrow to pull some weeds for 6.50 an hour. lol! fucking right!
James Ramiro...I'll call you tomorrow or something man...lol!
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moomoo
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2006 12 June :: 9.47pm
So my open house went pretty good. I made out pretty well. I start working 2 jobs tommorrow for a while, wish me luck. Other then that Just been hanging out with Chelsea.
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moomoo
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2006 8 June :: 10.05pm
So things have been going really great. My open house is this Saturday. Hopefully I will make out good. I went to the casino and won 50 dollars. So I went and bought a shirt and some hermit crabs. I have always wanted them so I finally got them. There so cute and fun to play with and I can take them to college with me. I found out I leave August 24th for College. I'm excited. Hopefully I will find a job fast.
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chelthesmell
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2006 8 June :: 11.52am
So I'm hanging out at Mindy's. She's showering. (surprisingly she did not invite me to shower with her today) lol! but yeah, we wanted to go to the beach today with a buttload of people but we dont think that that will work out. We might have slept in too late because I have to be to work at 4 and whatnot.
We saw the omen last night. It was good.
bye!
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eddy
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2006 8 June :: 12.24am
:: Mood: excited
Jimmy Kimmel
I never watch this show. It's kind of dumb. But tonight....ah yes, tonight, the absolutely wonderful H.I.M. is musical guest. And I must watch. I haven't seen them live in forever. I could have gone to that show (filmed last Friday). Had I wanted to take a trip to California, and spent a ton of money. So I'm content to just watch it at home, nice and comfy in my home =)
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moomoo
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2006 6 June :: 12.40am
So Tomorrow I leave for the casino. Hopefully I will win some, but not counting on it lol. Life has been going better. Hanging out with Chelsea a lot like usual. Great times. I went bowling on Saturday and met some cool people. The guy at the front thought I was 21 so he didn't even go to mark my hand. I thought that was pretty crazy, cuz I think I look pretty young. My open house is Saturday. Hopefully I will get tons of money. I need to get a computer for college. Well right now I'm watching movies with Amanda and Chelsea.
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eddy
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2006 5 June :: 12.24pm
I need boy problems
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