Je dors, rêvant de vous.

Just a nice French note from a friend's AIM away message. Yepyep. So, I've had such an amazing day today. (Yesterday, remember I carry over.) Despite all of the problems I can't help but dwell in every other minute, it sure helps when I get the chance to chat with an old friend of mine for roughly five hours. What a great time. I forgot how truly fun it was to chat with him. I still cannot believe that I met this guy over Yahoo chat some time ago. Yahoo chat. Unbloodyreal. He is the only, only, only intelligent person I have ever met in that chat place. The whole night I was going room to room looking for the slightest signs of a mentality over the age of ten, and during that whole night I kept some screenshots of my oh-so-amusing search. Chatting and intelligence are oblivious to each other. Someone wants to talk about Hell? Could this be true?.. Disappointment is contagious. If you know my old website, you'll find those pictures familiar. But you don't, so, anyway. Ktool is the nickname of my buddy, my pal, my role model! Yes, he's that cool. He is the best webmaster I've ever seen, despite what he may say. I told him I'd trade whatever art talent I had for his programming skills. Of course, if you think about it, drawing and programming are two completely different talents. One is inborn, the other isn't. One everyone can learn how to do, the other you really can't. And then I gave it some more thought. The whole point of drawing is to express yourself. But, if you are good at creating websites, you can express yourself substantially better. At least it's presented to others in a more readable and clean, open presentation. Art is all dodgy. It's too deep. If I were to draw a collarless dog roaming a sunlit countryside and smiling in only a way dogs can smile, there will be at least one person who will think, "Oh, she must like dogs." Perhaps they didn't see the white-robed man behind the tree I failed to mention holding a large square-edged butcher's knife. Perhaps the man was never clearly painted or drawn onto the canvas but, rather, the colors faded into a darker shade near that tree I still never mentioned in the initial description. You see? With a website there is no red and blue, there is just black and white. Unless I post my thoughts, then it's just a bunch of bullshit scribbled and scrawled in only a way a computer can scribble and scrawl all over your little monitor. I need to work with websites more. I miss working with them. Yepyep.. and while I'm on the topic, go look at Charmin's blog. Now! I linked to the website above. I really, really tried helping him pick a new color scheme for the page when he mentioned it but, like he said, we differ in tastes. The best I could come up with was a blue and tan color scheme. It would have helped if he had a favorite color!! Heh. ;) I'm going to play around with colors a little more and see if I can find something he'll like.

Looks so violent. Death is silent. Beating me with your words.

I don't know why people would say that it could hurt to be their friend. I'm the one usually saying that. I'd make it into a lengthy speech but that's nothing good to hear. It surely couldn't hurt physically and I'll be damned if it hurts emotionally. One person in particular.. well, the only way they could hurt me as of now is to say that they don't like me. But that's for completely different reasons. Completely different. ;) And you won't know why unless you know me. So I'm waiting for a beating. Or a friend.

Oh to the knocking, on the door

Knocking. Pause. Louder knocking. My mother enters the room and asks if someone knocked on the door. I say yes. She stares at me as if trying to hold back the question of, "Well why haven't you opened the fucking door?" and I feel the question being imposed so quietly, I begin to laugh. "Yes, someone knocked on the door." I repeated. Sometimes she needs a few reminders or reassurances. "Why are you laughing?" "Because I didn't open the door."

If I could make a change it’d be me not you. So hard to see you go, so sad but true.

These lyrics are kind of depressing. :) Hmm. Oh well. Last night someone suggested I do one hundred sit-ups to ease my boredom, and I did, and my stomach hurts a little. But it's cool. Then I clumsily knocked my right knee into a wooden chair, so I'm expecting a bruise tomorrow. My sister cut my pants yesterday with a short sword, that she poked me with, and I also bruised my brow. I was doing push-ups, can you guess how that happened? Haha. I tend to make fun of myself a lot. I don't think it's because I have a low self-esteem, it's just so much fun. Ok, I have a low self-esteem. Damnit, people calling me when I'm writing an entry. Hmm.. well I'm catching up on comments in my Elfwood gallery. Need to draw more. I want to draw more dark stuff too.. I want to be a macabre artist! Not simply an anime artist. Oh well. Good things come in time. I make a lot of lists because I have a poor way of keeping track of things. On top of the staggering pile of things I need to do on Lost Legends, what else would you like to see?.. Shit, it hurts to sneeze. Oh, and I decided to show you some of my shoddy art. Everybody loves shoddy art. [ Banshee | 'Goth' | 'Goth' Colored | Intestines | Hag | Demonic Summoning | Evil versus Good | Dead Guy Sculpture ]

No, there's no subliminal or indirect message to anyone ;P

I really love these Transplants songs. The beats are great and it makes me feel pretty good, even if the lyrics are somewhat disagreeing. Great music. We trusted you, we put out a helping hand Only in return, we get a stabbing in the back I paid a visit to a man who was pretty crazy Cooled off in the shade, we were feelin' lazy Trouble starts coming, nothing can phase me When tomorrow looks very hazy Took us for granted, let's start here Friendship over, so very clear Then what is fair is gonna be fair Fuck you.. you're over We trusted you, we put out a helping hand Only in return, we get a stabbing in the back It's time to weed out the weak, do away with their lives I see it so clear now, through my open eyes Stood by your side, you put a knife in my back Never ever thought it'd be you who would do me like that But we live and we learn, or so it's said One thing about you, I can't wait till you're dead The mistakes I've made won't happen again Keep my enemies closer than I keep my friends It's got me fucked up, I just can't let it go Will we ever be the same? Well my answer is no Think about your death every godamn day Wanna know what I think? This is what I must say I say we line 'em all up, then we gun 'em all down Then we all celebrate when they all hit the ground Don't wake up now, it's gonna be too late Don't give me that shit about cleaning the slate You've been at it too long, all your life that I've checked Now your time's almost up with a noose on your neck Smile in my face, better watch your back Two-faced motherfucker gets both jaws cracked We trusted you, we put out a helping hand Only in return, we get a stabbing in the back If you don't stand for nothing I can't really stand behind you Who knew you withdrew your point of view I lost mine, you cry and whine all the time And I can't stand aside or anywhere near you I'd get in check, you're a wreck, no respect, In effect you elect me to fuckin' hate you I'll break you down on the ground, I've found You're a clown, I'm around, you want war? I'll take you Stand aside, take a ride, I won't try, you're a lie, my lyrical lesson will teach you So take a stand if you can, my man, go where I stand, I'll hold my hand But in the real world you get squashed and then stung Get hit bitch, shit, aw then you get hung In a fantasy all day long, it must be so fun being so fucking dumb We trusted you, we put out a helping hand Only in return, we get a stabbing in the back Well, what now.. I woke up a few hours ago to the sound of the doorbell. I get out of bed and look out the window to see a blue van. I recognize it but I know it's not for me so I try to go back to bed. More ringing. I open my room door and start walking down the hallway, then I hear the door opens. Fine, I thought, whatever. The person puts something on the stairs and then leaves. I decide to get on Lost Legends. My sister arrives a minute later and then cooks me breakfast. She asks me to watch a movie with her and I do. Daddy Day Care. Heh. After the movie she gets ready to go home and I let her borrow my digital camera for work tomorrow. I hope it doesn't get stolen. Then I chatted with Turok a bit and now I'm here. Practically an uneventful day, I mean no offense by that, but these are the good days. No drama, no ups and downs, just a day. This music makes me want to kiilllll someone!

Feeling Really Good

My sister let me borrow her Transplants CD so no more Splender for a while. We talked, which was great, and she asked if I had a Spanish dictionary. Unfortunately, I do not. So then she asked why I had a German dictionary. I spewed some German at her. Well, today is my mother's birthday as I mentioned in the last entry's title. Maybe I'll give her a back massage since I didn't get her anything except for a written note about, "Thank you for letting me listen to profane lyrics and watching R rated movies." Or a foot massage. Mmmm, because we all like touching feet so much. Or I could curl her hair. Whatever makes her happy. Hopefully we aren't going out to a restaurant, as we usually do on birthdays, because then I'd feel obligated to eat inside despite my social problems, or should I say anxieties. Heh. Crazy chinese waiters named Bob, I'm not believing it. I need to buy a padded envelope to send to the friend I bought an anime DVD and CD for. Sheesh, that was all my money. I want to watch the Cowboy Bebop movie so, so much, too. Heh. Oh well. I want to make these future entries more condensed and less wordy. Say more with less words, you know. Hey! I want a Missouri mudmeet. :P Of course that wouldn't work so well on Lost Legends.. New Moon on the other hand.. there are quite a bit of Missourians on New Moon. Most of them I've met though, so it probably wouldn't be an amazing-cool-sweet mudmeet. Oh, yea, the other day I put a pale picture of myself (pale as in wearing almost white foundation and upping the saturation and contrast of the picture) on Hot or Not and wrote, "If I get a high rating from this I'll thank the goth community." Last I checked I had 137 votes and a rating of 5.8. Hehehe. :) There was a comment, "That means you scored higher than half of the Hot or Not women." Or something like that. But that's not true. They assumed that half of the women scored under 50, and the other half scored over 50. No, personally I think the average score for a lady on that website is in the seventies, so unless they were relating to a graph that they failed to show, them saying 50% of the women on Hot or Not is under 50 and 50% is over 50 is highly inaccurate. I'm tempted to replace the picture with my Pepsi one (see below), haha. Or, better yet, another picture I have that I took when I was up for 30+ hours also and tired as hellll. Let's see if I want to provide a link to that. ;)

Happy Birthday Mother (Even though I didn't even write about this)

I like to make accounts at those matchmaking and dating websites, just to see if I can find anyone I know. I did recently which I found to be quite amusing. I set up an account at Emode and earlier today I received an email saying that five members were interested in meeting me, it seems. I laughed. Curiously, I checked the email and the 'matches' were less than exciting, but still pretty amusing. The ages of the guys were 22, 23, 27 (who looked like 14), 45, and 48. Big umm. My profile clearly states that I am 18. Then again, it also clearly states that I am looking for 'New Friends' and I suppose if you look at it in that light age doesn't matter. But then I looked at the 48 year old's profile and saw: In my bedroom, you'd find: Whips,Chains,Handcuffs,LOL...Not really just thought it would be funny. No, man, that's not funny. He's older than my father so for some reason it's hard for me to think that little comment is funny. He looks like Tom Green twenty years down the road though. I guess it makes sense in some nonsensical way. But, I don't know, older people need lovin' too right? Whips, chains, whatever. I still shudder just thinking about that. I probably won't reply back to their interests though. I have no common ground for any of the guys. I just want a casual friendship. It kind of gets boring that I only have one person to phone if I'm ever bored. ;) Hmm, well, speaking of the whole dating thing.. (which comes off as completely random because I removed a whole paragraph before this) whenever I'm asked about dating my response is negative. It's negative because I've never had a good relationship. :) Makes sense. And it's not some "one negative experience" thing, I've never had a bad dating experience either. I don't shun dating because of any experience, I'm just lazy. :) I don't want to look for someone worthy of my affection, rightright. ;) Heh. So, I've read a few Woohu journals that belonged to Irish people. That was fun. One girl even typed how she may have talked, using me for my and such. I laughed a bit at that. Talked with my parents earlier today as well. We seem to be having a lot of talks these days. The world is falling apart and it feels like it's all originating on the front steps of this house. Why can't my parents just say fuck it and move on with life? I don't see why they make such tiny problems explode into a life crisis. But the talk was kind of comical. My father and I usually add a lot of sarcasm and jokes in these 'serious' talks involving my mother, because she never gets our jokes. Like, I asked my mother why she cared so much about my sister living in someone else's house, asking her to move back in with us, and yet she constantly tells me she wished I moved out. I sense favoritism. I sense child neglect, too. ;) But that's another story. My mother tried to deny it and my father laughed saying it was all too true. Yea, and it was funny somehow. Too many different topics into this entry. I'm kind of tired. I noticed that I am extremely tired these days and I hardly eat a thing. And I loooove my food. :( I still have a headache, it seems to toggle on and off, and I wish I could find the source of it. I'm starting to lose interest in drawing, in coding, in reading. I'll still write though. :) Hurray for writing. Maybe I just need to do some more exercises or something. I've kind of been thinking about one of my brother's friends that was over during Halloween. He stopped by again the following day and we watched some movie that I won't name because it sucked. He's pretty nice to me. He'll still talk to me even if someone put a scrunchie in my hair, like a sideways pony tail but only taking a small portion tied up, and he'll eat the Halloween candy he trick-or-treated most of for me, and he'll make lewd comments whenever there's a 'hot' scene on the television. He's funny. He seems so much different from when I used to talk to him, two years ago. We were in the same class and wrote notes to each other so fucking much that I think I was the cause of him failing his tests. ;) But he didn't complain and so I felt bad. Heh. I've known him for a few years now and I think it's good to have a guy who I can talk to without feeling like he's going to ask me out. I hate that. I hate being friends with a guy and they later want something more. Greedy little buggers. But he's pretty cool. He knows a lot about weapons and stuff like that, haha, always a plus right? Isn't it weird looking back a few years to how some people used to look like? This guy was a little chubby when I first was introduced to him, through his sister, but just in the last two years he's completely different. It's like those stories you might read in, well, books about childhood friends of the opposite gender growing up to become girlfriend and boyfriend and then later husband and wife. And the marriage works because they've known each so long as to have already mentally concluded that whatever flaws existed were outweighed by the better qualities they each shared. Of course, that's not how I feel about this guy, but it's just a thought.

Chatted with Kartman earlier on Lost Legends and he seems like a decent person. Heh, that sounds so completely rude. He seems like a nice person. We talked about video games for a bit, but what made me first talk with him was something he mentioned on chat. He commented there being a myth that if you taped a book to your head you could memorize its contents. I commented back about Edgar Cayce, who actually did do this and without ever reading a text book had aced all of his school tests. So I think Kartman and I were going to try that tonight, if we both remember. I am absolutely positive that we won't share similar results to Cayce, simply because he was a prodigy, but maybe I'll at least have a dream about the book stamped onto my forehead in the morning. Now I just need to figure out which book I want to try this with.. Crimes and Punishment seems a little too morbid huh. Life in the Renaissance it is. ;)

Idle Talk
Whenever you see me idling on Lost Legends, that means that I am still on the computer, just in another window. Whenever you see me AFK, that means that I am, of course, away from the computer. Depending on the message, I may be in the same room drawing, in my room sleeping, or somewhere else doing something else. If my AFK message is too vague and you're not sure when I'll return, minutes to hours, check what time it is. If it's around 6am to 3pm (CST), chances are I am sleeping and I'll be back in 5-7 hours. If I'm AFK around 3pm, I'll probably be back within minutes. If I go netdead, it's because someone turned off the computer and I'll be upset when I return. And that is that.

The reason why I've been idling a lot lately is because I am bored out of my mind. I'm thinking about going invisible soon just so players stop asking me game-related questions. How many times must I tell everyone that I do not work with spells, commands, guilds, and surely not the mudlib itself. And I have more experience as a creator than as a player, so I do not know any more than the average player does. Leave me the hell alone. ;)

A player brought up a typo to me the other day while I was in a slight idle. Good, I thought. If you see me idling on and off for a long time, it's because I'm doing nothing on Lost Legends. Those are the times where I'll fix something almost instantly. But, for those that don't know, you can use the 'idea', 'typo' / 'mtypo' and 'bug' commands to report any problem, suggestion, and whatever. Most creators do not want players telling them about a bug. Most creators would rather read the bug in a report. I, for one, try to keep the player-creator interaction to a minimum because I noticed as of recent how much the players are starting to rely on the creators to meet their every trivial whim. And it shouldn't be this way.

Another thing I loathe is creator hopping. If one creator tells a player they won't allow this or they won't do that, the player should accept that answer and just move on. Not all of the creators think the same and maybe, just maybe, the player will find one to carry out their cries and selfish pleas. Then there will be two creators discussing, moreso if they are of equal rank, about who is right and who is wrong. While one or both of the creators could have been coding up the next player paradise, they are set back by a stupid argument because an equally stupid player decided 'no' just wasn't a good enough answer. Do you see my point?

Moving along to typos. Many players don't seem to realize that England has mudders and coders too. Where Americans use snazzy 'z's, the English are more prone to use 's'. Where Americans would use 'i's, some words by the English are substituted with an 'e'. If a player reports a typo that is actually just a variant of the word, then it's all right, as long as they don't keep sending the same report every other month when it's not changed.

Then there are rumors. Some players like to start rumors. All I can say about that is quit it. Unless it's about that player paradise, you know, then by all means let your imagination go wild.

And, yes, now for the rules. I read through all of the rules periodically to refresh my memory. I used to enforce the rules very strictly but, if you have noticed lately, I don't even seem to care what's being said. There are chat filters and earmuffs. But a healthy dose of punishment is in order for those that still get around all the somewhat auto-enforcements. I personally could care less if a player swears because, look ma, I can say FUCK too. It's just against the rules and so I don't swear on Lost Legends altogether. (With exception to being in the company of one or two certain others.) I don't swear on chat or any other chat channel. It's just not me. I grew up with strict do's and don't's and I consider myself to be very good at following rules (unless I misunderstood them). :) I'm a virtually-pronounced rebel, and a punk at heart, but I don't bask in the illegal and I don't do what I feel is wrong. Love me, hate me, do what you will. Just don't break the rules!

Ouchies

I've got a headache and I think it has something to do with lots of chewing gum and soda. I hope that's what it is. Sometimes I feel this way when I'm depressed, but I don't feel depressed at all right now. Could it be possible that my body knows something my mind won't come to grips with? Mumble grumble. I can't handle it, I'm intolerant I rip off my shirt and I deal with it I won't through a fit, I don't give a shit I fall flat on my face in the back Of this one That's kind of how I feel. Just a little. Wouldn't it be great if you could just rip off your shirt and feel so much better? Oh, yea, that's why there are hookers. What am I saying. Last night I did eventually end up falling asleep, much thanks to all the outside business I did prior to. I made one hell of a snazzy ass mask to wear, mainly as one big fucking joke, and I called it the Great Asian Pumpkin King. It was sweet. My brother's friends stopped by and saw me wearing the mask and laughed their ass off at me. Then they asked me to politely walk away from them. Good times. Guys can confuse the hell out of me. I'm still confused about some trivial shit. Oh well, we eventually decided to trick-or-treat for the hell of it and Tainoir asked for a mask too. Made her one, I wore a trash bag to conceal my oh-so-unique clothes, and stopped by some guy's house. He looked like he wanted to laugh his ass off as us too, but he gave us a handful of candy each and said we earned extra candy for our creative masks. Hellll yea. He liked the whole "homemade shitty ghetto fucked up" creativeness, so I concluded he was a parent. Yep. We were going to stop by McDonalds to ask for treats, but we had some minor differences and decided to return home and watch The Pest instead. That's about the fourth time I've watched it in two weeks. Then we watched the first five episodes to Saiyuki and by the time it ended it was about 1am. The guys left and then I ate a few slices of bread, talking with Tainoir about a whole slew of shit, like all of our hospital visits and how fucking clumsy we've been. She beat me with a concussion she got from doing sit-ups. Can't top that one off, nope, nosiree. I offered my bed to her but she decided to sleep on the floor instead. I really wouldn't have cared either way. For about three months last year I had to sleep on my room floor anyway, because I had too much junk on my bed. Yep. My floor is nice. She set the clock alarm, after putting in the correct time, and then we fell asleep. I woke up a little before 8am, to the sound of someone eating a jawbreaker. Odd how I woke up to that but completely slept through the annoying ass buzz from the alarm clock. I guess that's why I never used the clock's alarm anyway. Apparently she had been awake for at least an hour, though. I told her she should have woken me up, as opposed to lying on my floor and eating jawbreakers for a whole hour. So I went to the kitchen to look for something to make. I wanted to make pancakes, but we had no eggs. Biscuits and gravy, but we had no gravy. I said fuck it and let her look through the freezer and she picked out some hotdogs. I nuked them and she poked me about cooking them too long. I felt sick after eating them, as I usually feel when I eat breakfast, but if it was something bad with the hotdogs I hope she has a stronger stomach than I. I didn't get to see the anime DVDs she brought over, which were about seven or so, but I didn't want to ask her to let me borrow them either. My brother later bugged me about that. She just called me about ten minutes ago and seemed surprised that was I still up. Apparently she fell asleep during church. I should've let her fall asleep earlier, instead of making her wait until I was done eating bread. I eat so fucking slow. It was cool when she woke up and went to the television though, to watch Beyblades. I laughed. I'm glad she felt comfortable in my home, it being pretty much the first time she ever came over. We split the candy before she left too. Not in one-for-one, but in what-we-like, so she got all the chocolate (and artificial chocolate) and I got the gum, grape flavored candy, and lemonheads. She has braces and all. That kind of surprised me, because I could have sworn she had them removed.. in fact, I saw that she had them removed some months ago. Weird shit. I should have had braces when I was twelve, but apparently at that age wearing braces isn't good. I mentioned this in one of the many surveys I took three nights ago, but I just sort of forgot about the whole wanting braces when I grew up. One year I didn't even need them. Now I kind of wish I had gotten them but, oh well either way, I don't smile much in any case. Mmmmm. I think I'll make a layout for that free webspace I mentioned that'll use one of my pale-as-death pictures. I like those pictures. I kind of wish I was naturally that fucking pale, but whatever. I'm still upset my father never took a picture when I really was that pale one night. Sucks. The only time I want my picture taken and no one is willing to do that. Errmmm headache, it hurts to think, even though that's not possible. It just feels that way because I'm thinking that it hurts to think and in so thinking I'm sure that thinking is the cause of my pain. It's all the soda. All the soda. My forehead is a little warm too. Sheepboy taught me a few things today, stuff I completely missed out on when I took my long break. I should've known, I would think. I should've seen between the lines, I would have hoped. But, we all know me, dumb as a mutherfucking brick. :) I am so dense. Heh. I'm the kind of person who, when asked to do an assignment, asks in what color ink/what type font, what minimal and maximal length, what format, when it's due, if I can use such and such, and so forth. That's just how I am. If I don't ask all of those annoying questions, then I know I won't do it right. I used to be this way on Lost Legends too. :) I've tried my best to cut back on that these days.. Headache. I'm going to sleep.

Halloween, Wrong Humour.. and Lotsa Shtuff

This is my definition of a cool friend. Taken from actual emails. October 27, I wrote: Ahahahaha. I was out cleaning the city (Make a Difference Day) on Saturday from 9-12 ;P I wasn't staying around for the parade. But, I heard there weren't many people there anyway. I haven't been up to toooo much. Life sucks these days, but it's all good. ;) Just too many ups and downs and I'm waiting for everything to calm down at a steady rate. Hmm. The skatepark should be finished by this week so that's cool. Man, I wish I had a functional scanner or a wacom graphire3 tablet! :P Damnit. Why can't things be back to the old days where we pay in corn or something. Heh. Oh well. Is school better? How about those brats you monitor, they're leaving you alone? Take care! October 29, Tainoir wrote: What the hell is a wacom graphire3 tablet. So what else you been up to other then cleaning the city. Is there gonna be a grand opening for the skatepark. Them brats are getting better. they won first place in the parade. the middle school. well gotta go. cya October 30, I wrote: It's a drawing tablet.. or.. like a supremely advanced mousepad. So I can draw on this mousepad and the picture appears on the monitor. Priiiiity impressive. There should be a grand opening for the skatepark though.. but I don't know if there will actually be one. No red ribbon to cut with massive scissors or anything like that. Well anyway, are you still planning to evade your church and worship the devil with me? And that reminds me, I probably should buy candy huh. Damn. Maybe I'll get my father to buy some cheap toxic candy at the Dollar store or if I can go to Wal-mart I'll buy some shtuff and candy. My mother is weird too. She told me this morning she wanted me to take piano lessons. I told her my fingers aren't long enough. She kept asking me to give it a try, because it'll "give me a future" as opposed to "playing on the computer" and I told her I learn stuff on the computer. She said, "Yea, how to play games." I reminded her that there ARE computer jobs OUT there, and that MAYBE if I become better at CODING that MAYBE I will have a better FUTURE than playing the PIANO for my employers. She got upset. Anyway, I better hear from you soon, before the goat carcass decays. Sieg Heil! October 30, Tainoir wrote: Mommy said i could come over after i usher at church because ushering was a prior commitment. how long was i gonna stay there anyways i forgot to ask. Whats with the goat carcasses. hm. what does sieg heil mean. gotta go now bye bye . October 30, I wrote: Oh, one of those "prior commitments", eh? I don't think my parents really care how long you stay over though, they're both laid back and don't really notice what goes around anymore. It's a friday night, so as long as you want to stay over I guess, heh. What time was that usher thingy? I'll probably get sleep and wake up around 4-6pm in the afternoon, just in time for those little snot-nosed punk trick or treaters to come knockin' on the door and demanding candy for their punkish little spit-filled mouths. Umm. So yea. I thought the goat carcass was pretty cool though. And I was having one of those Hitler moments, you know. Seig heil! Seig heil! Heil Hitler! Whatever, I think that's like, "Safe victory!" Crazy Nazis, who knows. Well, I'll be setting up the candles in my room and try to find some blood to draw a pentagram on the floor so we can contact the spirits of our loved ones and stuff. Yea, have fun at church. Umm, I'll probably call you when I wake up. October 31, Tainoir wrote: yep one of those. can i stay the night if thats okay. and where are you gonna get blood from. never mind i dont want to know.that usher thingy from 7-9 ahhh. help me. but now i have to go the voices in my head are arguing again and they're getting on my nerves. bye bye My brother just got off the phone with my sister and he told me, "I now know how to say golden asshole in Spanish." Oh the things we teach our siblings. So my sister just stopped by and has an armfulus of groceries! Woot, she just handed me a 1lb bag of Wild Berry Skittles! Muuthhafuuccka. Erm. I'm happy. :) Then she gave a whole pack of Butterfingers to my brother.. like twenty miniature ones. My brother just handed me a pack of ten and said I could have it. That shocked me because he loooooves his Butterfingers. Now I have one of those new Tropical Sprite Remix sodas in front of me, which looks like it would taste good. Life is so, so sweet. No caffeine, too! I like weird shit like that. I can drink Pepsi One. I can drink caffeine free Diet Pepsi, too. Diet Coca-Cola sucks though. Mmmm, there's a case of Cherry Coke too. I believe I once said I didn't like dark soda. It's still true, but I will still drink it. :) I just like light soda more, like orange soda. Yummy. I'm glad I somehow managed to keep three pounds off for the past two weeks, because I'm definitely going to gain some weight around this time of year. Mmm. I have to make sure I pace myself when eating all this delicious sugary goods. Anyway, Tainoir wants to spend the night, so that's weirding me out a teensy bit. I haven't had anyone sleep over since about 8th grade, maybe 7th. And I hadn't slept over at anyone's house since then either. I'll have to clean my room or something.. one-fourth of the floor is covered in piles of books and papers. I don't know where she'll sleep. I was thinking of this the other day, when an online friend mentioned having a friend sleeping on their floor. And I thought.. you didn't give him the bed? So I asked my brother how guys do things these days and he said, "Well, I have a futon bunk bed now." What an inaccurate answer. In all honesty, I won't be sleeping tonight if she's over. I've heard stories of how I sleep, and it's not the quietest at times. :) Not, snoring, something more guttural.. so I'm told. A bad habit I picked up a few years ago that started in a long car ride. ;) And I don't care if she hears me sleep like that, or how many people she'll tell, but I don't want to keep her up when she's a guest here. So, following the whole polite thing about having guests over, along with my bedroom, I'm going to clean up the house. This is still weirding me out, that she wants to spend the night. What the hell will we talk about? I guess if we run out of good topics we could always talk about guys. And how she watches middle schoolers all the time. Haha. I need to find that damned Satanic Bible and some tealight candles to set up in my room too. Maybe I can look up online how to make fake blood and try my best to scare the shit out of here when she sees my room. Heh. Last night I talked with my brother about dressing up as the KKK when she came over, because she's African-American. He told me if I did that he'd slap me so hard. I told him that it'd be all in good jest, that I would laugh if she showed up dressed as a dog in a cookpot. It's all good. You have to excuse my humour sometimes, it's pretty bad. But I don't think she'd care sooo much if I did that. My humour can best be described as: wrong. I've done some pretty wicked shit to her.. umm like she used to ask for food and candy during classes and so I stapled my hand and put my blood all over a mint. And she stared at it and was pretty grossed out. I wouldn't have realllly let her eat that. :) My humour has no bounds, I can joke about everyfuckingthing. She knows me well enough to know how politically incorrect I can be and how open I am. And please don't think I'm a racist just because I joke about these sort of things. I'm not. :\ I just don't see why anything should be sacred to not be made fun of. I don't segregate any one ethnicity or culture or race when I joke around, everything is free game. I've even made fun of the Irish. :( I usually poke fun at my background before I joke about other backgrounds, just so people know I'm playing. Hmm. If that still seems wrong to you, let me know and I will reevaluate my actions. :) Hmm, going to walk around the house and look for something to do.. a player on LL is bringing up something that I have no control over, so I'm taking a short break. ;) Just because. I want to drink this soda and talk with my sister. Then see what she's doing. And then clean the house. Yep. And, oh yea, I just heard this amazing Halloween song on the radio, but I don't know who sang it. The odds of you knowing are slim to none, but if these lyrics sound familiar please let me know. :) And, umm, I'll owe you a favor? "He's flesh and blood to me. I love him brotherly. But I don't want to be formerly." I think that's it, that was the end of the song. Erm. :(