My Own Little World

My Own Little World

:: 2004 1 July :: 4.06 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Music.

Uncle Ben's
Uncle Ben is a good cook. He saves my life when all we have in the house is chips and left-over pizza. I don't know, recently I've been into real food. Meaning not pizza or that other greasy stuff. Cookies are okay though. Cookies are always ok.

So I have a billion things I COULD do today if I wanted ot be productive. I could practice bassoon, scrapbook, clean my room out downstairs for the carpet pple, do laundrey, exercise, cook, and on and on. I really want to do something productive, but I'm feeling very summerish tonight.

My mom's being a bitch and saying I can't go out today at all. Which sucks. Because I work both Friday and Saturday. I don't know, she couldjust be having one of her moments where she says something then ten minutes later " I didn't say that" :-D <~~ That's her. Hm. Yay bi-polarness! It makes life interesting.

It's freggin hot today. I think I'm going to explode. My insides are going to boil and then POP out they go. Par-tay. I hate that word, just so you know. Now I want to go swimming.

I cant eat anymore. It's too hot. I think I'll go for some nice lemonade. So long.
-patrice

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 1 July :: 2.15 am

101 Things You MIGHT Not Know About Me
#1-40

( I was bored. Forgive me. You don't have to read it. Have fun if you do though, dudes.)

1. My first house was in New Kensington, PA.
2. I was the second grandchild on the dad's side.
3. I was the fourth grandchild for the madre's.
4. I had a cat named Simba once who got attacked by coyotes in Colorado.
5. The first test I failed was my states and capitals in 5th grade.
6. I hated Curious George when I was little. And I mean HATED. I cried when I saw him.
7. I tried out for cheerleading when I was in 5th grade.
8. I hate sherbert ice cream
9. I used to think Jay walking was walkign around the street naked
10. I ate Crisco once thinking it was butter-tasting.
11. I was in love with Enrique Englasias(sp) for two months two summers ago. Haven't listened to him since.
12. I have linkin park in my head right now.
13. I've been reading Les Miserables..the unabridged version..since last summer. I get busy..stop reading..then have to go back and remember what happened, and I get lost and start 4 chapters back, and the cycle never ends.
14. I've never been to Canada.
15. I hate cotton candy tasting things. Cotton candy's good, the flavored lip gloss and gum..ew.
16. I like brussel sprouts. I always have.
17. When I was 7, I ate a whole thing of roasted garlic. You know? The entire huge thing. Yum. But smelly.
18. My cousin tried to kill me when we took a hike and tried to throw me over the edge of a mountain. He was kidding. I hope.
19. i've had three aol screen names in my life.
20. My first screen name was Kwelkat87
21. When I had very few friends, I would write notes to no one in paticular and pretend like I had people to give them to.
22. I've had a crush on a teacher before. No names mentioned. :-X
23. In Charleston, SC I smelled Gardenias and I fell in love with how they smelled. So I bought a ton of them and put them all in my room and woke up the next morning sneezing. I was allergic to them. Poo. I like them still.
24. I had purple cat curtains and purple walls with dark purple cat trim in NC. Then we had to paint it all white when we were moving :-(
25. After the hurricane, my friend and I were making mud mixtures and we ran inside to wash our hands forgetting all the water lines and electricity were down. So my mom made us walk around with muddy hands because we couldnt waste the water we had saved.
26. The day after the hurricane we found 1,990ish acorns on my driveway.
27. The only pet I've had that has died of old age(not running away or beign hit by cars) was my hamster.
28. My dog in NC, Pluto, got hit by a car. And the guy tried to sue us because he was an idiot and hit our dog and killed her. Idiot.
29. My sister killed her bunny when she was playing with her on the swing set and decided the bunny wanted to go down the slide...while she had a leash on..yeah. She hung her bunny. She locked herself in the closet because she thought she was going to hell. That story still makes me cry. Do you know how tramatizing that would be? "hey bunny, let's play! Bunny...bunny...Mommy, why isn't bunny moving?" ::tear::
30. I got a new bike for xmas once..but it had to stay in the house because of snow, but my godfather came over and I wanted him to see it, so I rode it down the stairs. Ow.
31. I watched every episode of The Waltons a few summers ago.
32. I am the president of the Elite Foamade Society of Vernon Hills
33. I put my face in a bucket of crabs and one bit a chuck of my nose off.
34. I cut my own hair off when I was little and the lady had to give me a mushroom cut.
35. I was almost going to be teh remote control in the OM skit we did, but the outfit was too tight and I got scared. So I became the director.
36. I still know all my lines from that play. "I'm warning you zachery syrus. you're gonna get a tv virius. stay away from that tv or your eyes will not be able to see.."
37. I still have a poem memorized from 5th grade...Nobody...by Emily Dickinson. " I am nobody/who are you?/Are you nobody too?/ Then there's two of us!/ Don't tell!/ They'd banish us, you know/ How dreary to be somebody/How public, like a bog/ To live our lives the live long day to some admiring bog.? ::bows:: The end gets fuzzy, but I'm proud.
38. I can't go to sleep in complete darkness or near a fully opened window.
39. I'm a poplar tree.
40. I've never been to California.

1 Hermaphidite | Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 30 June :: 12.15 pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: Numb-Linkin Park. Its stuck in my head.

Tetrasodium Prophosphate
So yeah. I've been journaling for almost a year and a month and I only have 235 entries. I'm sad. So I must get my butt..well fingers..moving...ok typing...and get those entries coming out more often. I'll be a journal machine.

Yeah, I got my retainer. Poo. I just get my braces off then BOOM new torture. Thanks dude.

Yeah, so last night was fun. Sandy Kim was freggin insane. But that's normal. Hehe. Yeah, then Jorie scard the crap out of us by driving into an abandoned parking lot. Damn girl. Lol.

Yeah, so Jorie and I pretty much did the sleepover thing. Talked. Alot. About what the hell tetrasodium prophosphate is and why the hell it's in marshmallows. Poor poor us. Digesting dangerous chemicals just to enjoy a big puff of horses hoofs and sugar. Mmm..

So yeah, mom picked me up early. For retainer. I just glared at her. ::glare:: Like that.

So 4th of July is coming soon. People should get together. Because it's my first day off of work. Because Friday and Saturday I work. Then Sunday...freedom! Ha, get it? 4th of july? Freedom? So party. Yeah.

My entries are always so long. It's kind of fun. I like writing about absolutly nothing. Because honestly, that's all you can write in these journals now without offending atleast six people. Not that it's a bad thing. It's the way to world turns, dudes.

I need pants. I just took a shower and I'm sitting here in my pj bottoms and I can't find my pants. Damn pants.

dooom di doom. if you can't tell, I have really nothing to say. In the shower I discovered that can recite the first 20 minutes of Now and Then without having the movie there. Probably more, but my shower got cold so I stopped talking to myself.

"Here I am baby, signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours!" Woo hoo oldies.

I want to find some deep lyrics to put in here. Like..look at me. I am deep. Alas, I am not deep it seems. I am me. And me means no entries that make you go...hmm...or go..wow..what a good writer. I write things that make you go...Wow. is she a boring person?

My response? Yes! Boring in my middle name. After Elaina that is. Patrice Elaina Boring Gentile. So it's not really my fault I ramble for hours about absolutly nothing. It's in my genes, man. Dude. But not in my jeans, because I can't find them. Ha. (Refer to paragraph above if you find that comment "dirty". I know some of you have gutter heads. Tsk tsk.)

Sometimes I would like to think my intelligence level is above what I write in here. I sound so...unintelligent sometimes. One day I will put something in here that is smart sounding.

I should do that thing. That 101 things you don't know about me. Except I'm a pretty open person. Hmm..thatd be fun though. I'll start now. I'll spread it out over a few entries.

I'll start in another entry. I'll just post this one For my many fans to read. Bye dudes.
-patrice

2 Hermaphidites | Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 27 June :: 3.06 pm
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Silence

Doom di doom. The Rice is back. Time to Par-tay. Except not really. North Carolina wasn't terrible. It was kind of funnish. Climbed a 152 foot tall light house. Go me. Got hit on by a 20 year old. Creepy. Rode 6 miles on a bike. Ow. Swam alot. Got sunburned. Bought a pirate doll made out of coconuts.

As exciting as that is, I'm glad I'm home. Except the sun sets there were prettier. The moon is better from here though. I saw a shooting star one night there. It was cool...except Wender ruined it "It's probably just a falling satalite". Thanks dude.

Went to Neil's graduation doo-hickie last night. It was fun. I was just tired beyond belief. And yeah, when I'm tired my bad moods like to show up a bit. So yes. I usually do good at hiding anger and such from friends when we're just all hanging out, but when I'm tired that takes way too much energy. And I'm sorry.

I have to call the movie dude soon about working. I don't want to work. I want to work in a library and shelf books. I don't want to have to sell tickets and meet other employees. But Jill's having an easy time of it, so it can't be too hard. But Jill is ten times better at people skills then I will ever be. She's ten times better at alot of things. So is everyone else. Oh well dudes. I'm used to being second best, second choice. It's fun.

So my dad woke me up at 9am today. I wanted to kill him. And you know it's bad when you wake up angry. Nothing happens and your day already sucks. So Patrice is trying to not be angry anymore. As hard as it is to believe, Patrice is a very angry little person. And anger leads to bad things. Like yelling and hitting of siblings and walls and getting even more angry at stupid little things. And hitting walls hurts like hell. And yelling at people who just happen to get in the way ruins friendships and familyships.

Do any of my readers have anger issues? If so, how do you deal with your anger? Because my methods don't seem to work.

Hmm...ks. Time to go do something with my life. Bye.

1 Hermaphidite | Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 27 June :: 12.24 am
:: Mood: nauseated
:: Music: My Cat Purring

Home Again
Sorry if I was a poop tonight. I was just exhausted. Waking up at 6am chicago time and falling asleep 1 am chicago time for two weeks did not do me good. And waking up at five. Wooo. And I don't think that Mountain Dew was good for this. I feel sick.

I'm so excited to be back and with people again. Why? Because they aren't family. And they don't treat me like shit. Yay.

(So I had this whole thing here....it's gone now. Sorry folks. )

I'm tired. Good night and good bye.

-Patricia Gentilia

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 20 June :: 9.30 pm
:: Mood: Burnt

A message from the beach
Ow. My stupid medicine stuff that makes me more able to be burnt....it sucks!!! Owwwwww! :-(

Well, I'm still at the beach. Don't get too excited. Not as bad as I imagined, but still...urgh. I don't know. I think I should just stay away from online journals. They make me want to be home more. I know I'll get back though and have to work alot and no one will want to spend time with me anyways. Whatever dudes. I'm just very....not happy right now. But that's been common on this trip. I kinda just want to sit down with someone and talk. Not about anything, but the extent of any conversation here has been "that guy is cute..." or "look at my tan..."

Ergh. Hmm....good things, eh? You want to hear good things??? Okay. Here goes. There was a cute guy at the pool today. Very Hanson-esque. Yasamin leaves me voice messages..hehe. They're funny. Make me laugh.

We were driving today and saw this one cat...we stopped but my mom wouldn't let us stop...then we saw a mom and three babies and 2 other cats...my heart was breaking. Poor kitties. :-(

A 20-year old walked up to me at the beach and was all...woosh woooosh...but he saw I was young...and he turned away. It made me laugh.

Umm....okay. Good bye dudes. It's been a par-tay. See ya.
-Patrice

2 Hermaphidites | Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 11 June :: 1.30 am
:: Mood: groggy
:: Music: Harry Potter

Somewhere I Belong..(Stuck in my head)
Last entry for two weeks. Sorry all you readers. No prying into my head for a while. :-(

Not looking forward to vacation. I'm confused. I quit alot of things though that were bugging me. My attitude, feelings towards people. Sometimes it's just better to give up. Dreaming is good for a while but everyone has to face reality.

So I hope things work out for everyone. I want to see you all happy when I get back. Because drama is bad and so is crying. Enjoy the time you have here, it's limited. Live in the moment. I don't know, its hard to do. But try. Be content with things. I love you all to death.

Hmmm...I'll have my phone the whole time ;-) Which has text messaging...::double wink:: leave me a message or call me at night sometime. I'll need human interaction. Well, good night and good bye all. :-( I'm gonna miss you dudes.

Night,
Patrice

3 Hermaphidites | Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 8 June :: 12.32 pm

Goo dMorning Peoples
Hmm..so last night I talked to lotsa people. It was fun. I like people. They can suck at times, but overall they're ok. Yay people!

I think my brother has a crush on Corny. Everytime he sees my scrap book...Yay! It's Corny bean! O.o;; Kinda creepy.

I want to be outside today. So I'm gonna pack...clean and go otuside. Par-tay dudes. Have a good day.
-Patrice

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 8 June :: 1.00 am
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: I'm Still Here

Watching Glue Dry...
It's exciting. Lemme tell you. My cat's on my lap. It's really hot. ::dies:: anything else to say? Hmm.. I don't know. Well bye.

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 5 June :: 4.47 pm
:: Mood: indifferent

Summer Days
Summer....most people love it. And trust me, the idea of no school is great. But wait..nope...I have school this summer. I dont know, I've ALWAYS been one that has hated summers. Summers, for me, define what I think of the next year. Summers are the points where I notice most change, even though they're only two months long.

For the past...six years..I've spent almost everyday of summer alone in my house. Last summer I got out once or twice a week, at the most. Kinda sad compared to your everyday out having fun summers. It's sad when you can remember everything you did the past summer, because you really didn't do that much at all.

What can I do though? I'm dreading this summer, and I know dreading something makes it worse. I don't want it to be here. I don't want to be left alone in my house again. But it's all my fault, I should call people. So don't get pissed at me and tell me I'm being a bitch and blaming others. I just...I don't know. If people wanted to spend time with me, they'd call me. ::insert yelling fit here::

I don't know, this summer I'll try to keep a good attitude. I'll make sure that even when I'm alone I make my day worth it. I'll try atleast. I don't want to spend another summer crying.

It's just kind of weird, isn't it? Those who complain about never getting called never call others who never get called. Oh well. It's the way the world works. There will always be one left alone. I'll volunter.
-Patrice

I know it's only the second day of summer. But I can't help it. My trust in people has kinda died over the years. I apologize.

6 Hermaphidites | Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 4 June :: 11.38 pm
:: Mood: sick

My stomach hurts. It feels like someone's taken a knife and is twisting it in circles. :-( I hate being sick. Hopefully it's just something I ate. I did have caffeine today. I don't usually feel too good after that. That's probably it.

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 4 June :: 9.51 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: The Breaking Of The Fellowship

I know what my summer thing is going to be. Photography. I never get sick of it. It's fun and I like it. So there it goes. If I'm bored, I'll probably be outside taking pictures. Woo.

Anyone know if it's possible to take pictures of the night sky? hm..just wondering...

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 4 June :: 12.45 pm
:: Mood: pissed off

I hate my dad. I hate him. He is such a jerk. He's so freggin anal and it's so annoying! I freggin spilled paint on the floor, so I try to clean it up and I get grounded for it! Amanda's done ten times worse and has gotten less then this for it. He's a dick. He's yet to yell at me, so we'll see how this goes. My mom told me to have a good attitude and just listen and apoligize. That really doesn't work with me. He pisses me off beyond belief...and well you all know hwo good I am at keeping anger in. Not good at all.

Harry Potter was good. if you didn't like it, you're insane. You should be more open. Sure, it's not Oscar material, but it was good.

It's officialy summer. I'm excited, but not. Because of this mostly, summer has been off to a *great* start.

I think I'm going crazy. Last night, Sandy and I were looking for Jorie's charm in the parking lot and this guy beeped his car horn at us and I couldn't breath for about two minutes and I was all shaky and blah. Hmm...I'm just easily freaked out. It was kinda funny though, but not.

Bah.

-Patrice

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 3 June :: 1.15 am
:: Mood: exhausted

I'm tired. Too lazy to clean off my bed though. Picnis was fun. Romped and threw flowers. Saw Justin, he came to school, it was a party. Jorie came over tonight, Benny and Jackie stopped by to give me shoes. Jorie left. I'm talking to keister online. My neck hurts. Gradaution tonmorrw. I'm not excited. :-( I'm confused. I need a road map. So I know where I'm going. That'd be nice. Okay, good bye dudes. Summer is offically here ::yawns::
-patrice

Are you a purple cow?

:: 2004 3 June :: 12.58 am

What is your favorite..
gum: Orbit
restaurant:
drink: Lemonade
season: Winter/fall
type of weather: Rain
emotion: Contentness..I guess..feeling like everything is falling in place
thing to do on a half day: Um..go to lunch, then eat at a park, watch a movie, sleep
late-night activity: just hanging out with people, outside is better in my yes.yeah, just relaxing and having fun
sport: Gymnastics to watch...running to do
city: Umm... Nags Head. Well, Outer banks area
store: World Market
When was the last time you..
cried: Really seriously cried? Kei's party
played a sport: I threw flowers at people today
laughed: An hour or so ago..picked my sister up from 8th grade dance..aww..it was funny, if you want to know, ill tell you the story
hugged someone: Um..Sunday when I left Jorie's house.
kissed someone: my puppy kissed me today
felt depressed: Today-Picnisish and after. Being alone isn't fun.
felt elated: After theatre tech finalish
felt overworked: All last week and beginning of this. but it's over for now.
faked sick: Week of the show, so I could sleep in
lied: An hour ago...to my mommy, she asked me if I danced with anyone at my 8th grade dance and I said no. Because he's gross now.
What was the last..
word you said: doo di dooo
thing you ate: 2 Cookies
song you listened to: 100 years
thing you drank: Milk
place you went to: Junior High to pick up Gabbie
movie you saw: LoTR: RoTk
movie you rented: um...Monkey Trouble
concert you attended: Other then school? TSO
Who was the last person you..
hugged: Jorie or Jackie..dude! No, it was sarah, I was invadign her bubble
cried over: stupid people who make me think too much and feel bad about myself and make me worry
kissed: My kitty? :-P
danced with: Jorie..we gorilla danced
shared a secret with: umm...Jorie
had a sleepover with: jackie-o
called: Jorie
went to a movie with: Jill, Spencer, David, Kyle, Jackie, Benny, Chris, Ashley, Wender
saw: Day After Tomorrow
were angry with: umm..my parents. they're dumb.
couldn't take your eyes off of: O.o;;
obsessed over: Johnny Depp
Have you ever..
danced in the rain: Yes!
kissed someone: Nopee
done drugs: No
drank alcohol: No
slept around: No
partied 'til the sun came up: Hm..not in a bad way..I'm a good girl O:-)
had a movie marathon: Yes'm
gone too far on a dare: Hehe, good times. yes.
spun until you were immensely dizzy: Hehe! yeah, that was fun.
taken a survey quite like this before: Actually, yes.

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Are you a purple cow?