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2004 19 December :: 12.30 pm
Patrice is feeling better today. A litte bit. Issues that have been driving her insane have now worked themselves out. She does not quite understand why she isn't more relieved, but it's ok. She can breath easier now. Which is always cool.
Are you a purple cow? |
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2004 17 December :: 8.25 am
We have to distrust each other. It's our only defense against betrayal.
-Tennessee Williams
Are you a purple cow? |
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2004 14 December :: 8.38 am
Sometimes the simplest things can make your day better. I love days like that. No matter what anyone says about their self-esteem or what not, we all need some form of reassurance at times. Not too much. Because then it gets annoying. But you get what I mean. Even though I know it¡¦s not true, it still made Patrice¡¦s day. So yes. ƒº Smiles and such.
Yay for being vague. Tehe.
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 12 December :: 1.59 pm
:: Mood: amused
I spent last night reading through everyone's old journal entries. It's kind of funny. We all say the same things.
We're miserable today. Today sucked. We're lonely. This person has no right to complain about how lonely they are because I have it worse. This person can't say they're having a bad day, mine's worse. I'm a bad person. Everyone hates me. No one needs me. What's the point of me being here?
We're all just lonely and miserable. I don't know. It's funny. I can't quite explain it. We're all lonely together. ::nods:: I guess. O.o
-Patrice
patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
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2004 11 December :: 10.14 pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Respect
Ok. I'm bored. So I'm going to go through random on my computer and tell you the first....20...songs it plays. Woo?
1. MMMBop
2. We Can Work It Out- Beatles
3. Now I'm Here- Queen
4. See Me, Feel Me- The Who
5. With You In Your Dreams- Hanson
6. The Real Me- The Who
7. Fly Me To The Moon- Frank Sinatra
8. You've Got A Friend- James Taylor
9. Hello Good Bye- Beatles
10. If I Only Had The Words(To Tell You)- Billy Joel
11. We Will Rock You- Queen
12. Come Together- Beatles
13. What The World Needs Now Is Love
14. Save Me- Queen
15. Ain't No Mountain
16. Imagine- John Lennon
17. Fat- Bottomed Girls- Queen
18. 100 Years- Five For Fighting
19. Hound Dog- Elvis
20. Respect- Aretha Franklin
Ok...I need to load more of my cd's onto the computer. Ok. I'll probably be back.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 9 December :: 8.25 am
:: Mood: Pooey
So yes. I'm here. At school. I should be home. And I could be at home. But my mom pulled the whole guilt thing when I asked to stay home today. So today better go by quickly. Just because I really don't feel like dealing with it.
You guys should all see In America. Good movie. I cried, but that's just me.
So yeah. Ryan called last night. And I wanted him to call. He calls everynight. But when he started to talk to me, I just died. I couldn't find anything to say to him. He was talking about being sick and his comic books and how much fun going to dinner was. I had a billion things I wanted to talk to him about. But he doesn't care. No one really does. Everytime I would try to tell him something, he would be distracted by something. So yeah. I gave up on talking to him. And eventually he left because he was tired and we weren't saying anything anyways. I'm fine listening to him go on about his day. I don't get bored with it. I don't know. It just feels like sometimes when I talk, he's not listening at all. Or he doesn't care. And it scares me right now that I'm freaking out about something like this. Because I know what's going to happen. He's going to get sick of my constant complaining about some event in my life. Whether it's family or friends or school. Then he'll get annoyed with my random bad moods. Then it'll be how I don't tell him when somethings bothering me. Then it'll be over. And this probably soudns so stupid to all of you reading this, but I don't care. I feel stupid right now. I don't know if I really am doing the right thing here. I really do like him. Alot. But am I doing the right thing by getting so close to him? I don't want to get uber close to someone only for them to realize how irrational I am and have them leave me. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I just walked away from this. But that's selfish of me. And I know that. I just don't want to get hurt, but by doing that I'd only hurt him. Which wouldn't be fair. I've realized that I have made myself so incredibly numb. To everything. Things that should affect me just make me shrug. It's not fair. I feel like I'm in a dream-state most of the time. That if I just close my eyes, that the world will go away. That I won't be there. That I wouldn't have to be a part of anyone's life. That I wouldn't run the risk of hurting more people. I just want to disappear. The thing is though, if I leave him, who will I have? Plus I'd miss him way too much. More then anyone knows. Even him. I don't want to be a burden on him or anyone else though. I don't know what to do.
He's not a jerk. This has nothing to do with him being a bad guy. It has to do with me.
My rant ends here. Or I'll piss people off. And that's bad
-Patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 5 December :: 3.03 pm
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen...and stupidity.
-Harlan Ellison
2 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
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2004 27 November :: 2.13 am
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Gabbie's watchign Mean Girls
Oh Wow.
You know what I realized today? I don't even know what it was that I realized, but something clicked in my mind.
Off topic...but do you think I overdramatize things to make them seem worse then they are?
-Patrice
5 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 3 November :: 10.04 pm
Funny times
SneakySeaMonkey (8:25:05 PM): why are some guys so...urgh?
personofthasun00 (8:25:11 PM): well ya see
personofthasun00 (8:25:26 PM): it all started when we 'guys' decided to be complete jerks
personofthasun00 (8:25:31 PM): it was at this convention that we had
personofthasun00 (8:25:34 PM): in jersey
personofthasun00 (8:25:49 PM): and their were delagates from all over the world
SneakySeaMonkey (8:25:55 PM): were u there?
personofthasun00 (8:26:51 PM): and they decided from then on all guys would be ugh
SneakySeaMonkey (8:27:10 PM): well you should have another meeting
personofthasun00 (8:27:12 PM): no it was way before my time
SneakySeaMonkey (8:27:15 PM): tell them theyre wrong
SneakySeaMonkey (8:27:17 PM): oo ok
personofthasun00 (8:28:42 PM): its not up to me
SneakySeaMonkey (8:29:29 PM): :-P
____________
Haha. Thanks to Hul..the world makes sense
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 31 October :: 11.19 am
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Superman(It's Not Easy)
Finding Neverland. November 12. Woo hoo!
That's my exciting news of the day.
This week has been insane, but yesterday was awesome. It was just a full day of theatre stuff with theatre people(most of which just rock my socks off) Very little drama from my side of the smoothie. It feels good. To be doing play stuff but not to have much stress because everything's done and you just do what you've done for three nights. You allow yourself to have fun. Which is a good thing.
I've found out...that alot of times you have to allow yourself to have fun. It's not too hard. Sometimes it can be, but there's always going to be something on your mind. You can't let it effect something that has a chance to be a good thing. I don't know, I don't care as much about the bad stuff as I did last year. I realize that I'm a senior. And that this year will be my last with many people and the last in many of these situations. Why make everything crappy because a few things are going on?
That whole speel will be misinterpretted and someone will be mad that I'm telling people to just forget about their problems. Which I'm not. I'm just saying don't let them decide your life. ::nods:: If that makes sense.
Strike is going to be interesting today. Most of the set has to stay together. And we're just sticking props in a box that says "Box O' Dracula". Haha. Woo slacking off. I can see us not makign it to theatre fest and having to clean it up again, but it'll be much later when I actually might have some motivation. Hm. Patrice with motivation? That is just insanity.
I'm glad the play is over. At the same time, I'm not. It was definitly a stressful show. Mucho stressful. At the same time, it was a blast. I'm going to miss it. This is maybe my second or third favorite show. After Les Mis and Joseph. In some kind of order. This show was just fun after all the stress. And there were actually nice actors too. Which is fun. The running crew was awesome. O man. If I get time, I'm writing backstage stories here. Just because I want to remember them. yeah. Just everyone backstage was awesome. Fun times. Let me tell you.
Yeah, the cast party was actually fun last night. Except when the speeches went on hour late and I was home uber uber late. But it doesn't matter that much. Didn't get in trouble.
Oh, and benny boy(if you read this), I meant to tell you... I made sure to kill mucho babies at the party. I think the count was at 17. Hm. Not bad if I say so myself.
I'm allowing my brain to turn to mush for another half hour. When I come back I have a whole outline to bullshit. Woo hoo. I'm hoping it'll take me an hour at the most. ::crosses fingers:: Maybe then I'll convince my sister to trick or treat with me for a little bit. That'd be fun. It'd be really sad if there wsa no way to celebrate halloween tonight. I would cry. I love halloween. It sucks having responsibility. Pooooooooo.
Ok peoples. Time to shower. I smell.
Je T'aime,
Patrice
(I love that. I wish I spoke french.)
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 20 October :: 12.50 am
Soooooooo I don't like this week. It started with tears and will most definitly end the same way, just for different reasons.
Tomorrow's going to be interesting.
I'm feeling a little more confident about the play now. It's a good thing. I hope.
I don't know what else.
Good night.
-Patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
::
2004 18 October :: 7.59 am
The earthy Capricorn Moon helps you feel secure and you want to make the most of it by using the day to add stability into your life. You begin to think more about your long term goals, yet it can be difficult to separate them from your more immediate chores. Don't take on more than you can complete and you will make progress on both fronts.
Haha! I guess progress is dead. Man, am I screwed. :-)
-Patrice
1 Hermaphidite |
Are you a purple cow? |
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2004 11 October :: 1.03 am
:: Mood: crappy
.......................
4 Hermaphidites |
Are you a purple cow? |
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2004 10 October :: 1.58 am
Tonight was awesome.
I met Howard Shore. I shook Howard Shore's hand.
Maybe some of his talent transferred to me in that hand shake. Hm.
The concert was awesome. They played The Breaking Of The Fellowship and Riders Of Rohan. And Into The West. So good times with that one.
I also got the crazy german conductor's autograph too. He was funny. He spelled my name wrong, then felt bad and fixed it. Ah haha. Funny Germans.
Ok. Good night people.
I don't know how I managed to work almost every day in the summer. I worked last night and now the last thing I want to do is go in for a second time this weekend. Maybe I just hate opening. Well, I know I hate opening. Crappy opening. -.-.
-Patrice
Are you a purple cow? |
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2004 7 October :: 12.51 am
Shit.
Crap.
Fuck.
I don't do good with staying up late. I need to sleep. I'll finish my paper in the morning. Screw it all.
Are you a purple cow? |
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