sometimes what is felt is more important than what is heard

:: 2008 27 February :: 6.29am

first day of work today.
mike left me a cute note.
its going to be a long day.

:: 2008 26 February :: 1.26am

Today was long. Very long.

Started off with Mike's alarm going off for 45 minutes because he was being an ass pigeon and sleeping through it.. and that was at like 7 in the friggin morning.
And then the phone rang and it was his cousin, her and her friend had been in an accident and needed someone to flip their car back over, and pull it out of the ditch.
Then we made a trip to MCC to get a paper signed so he can get money!
Then it was home for a quick bit before we headed to GR..
Which was long, boring and irritating.
Social Security Office is insane. It's like the secretary of state, but 3 times worse.
The people smell, the employee's are fucking dicks.
He couldn't apply for a new Social Security card becuase of 1 fucking letter.. 1 lousy stupid fucking little letter..
After almost 27 years, someone finally realizes that his name was spelled wrong on his social security card.
I swear the only thing people in GR are willing to stand in line for is free moolah to milk off the state.. (Social Security/Welfare).
Then it was off to Ionia so he could take a mid-term.

At 9:30 in the morning I am meeting with Lisa from Qualified Staffing to discuss a possible job placement.
Kind of excited about that. Hopefully its reasonable pay.
But I guess I can't complain too much, I need a job and unemployment is about to run out.
And I can't wait until I can afford to get my eyebrows waxed, and get caught back up on bills, and be able to do things so I'm not such a hermit anymore.
I can't sleep.
I'm kind of irritated right now because I have heart burn from bean dip..
And i really want grapes and apples and tums.

Oh and here is one of the only things that made me laugh today, other than Mike making some little mexican girl that was only like 2 years old start screaming..

Mike: I don't like the word beat down.
Me: It's two words.
Mike: Not if you put them together.

:: 2008 24 February :: 7.35pm

So yeah nothing new has happened lately..
The guy on myspace that sent me that message, his profile has been deleted..

My sister had a dream about me.
She dreamt that I had a 2 month old girl that looked just like me, and i was hiding her from my family.

5 Bastards stepped on my dreams | Step on my dreams

:: 2008 24 February :: 4.23am

things i've learned tonight

I've got this thing for this chick that kills her own spiders.

and

There is a 5 hour window on "sunday" mornings where I can't buy beer.

:: 2008 22 February :: 4.17am

so tonights update involves weird dreams, sitting on my butt, and bowling.

there has been a battle in my head about various things in life, and afterlife, questioning my beliefs and such. I'm not sure what I believe right now, Almost like I'm scared to believe. weird isn't it?

Anyways, Tonight I sat around and pretty much did nothing, I talked to Erin and noc online and now i'm laying in bed, fuck i forgot my pushups and crunches, so i'll be doing those right after this entry.

I bowled tonight, Nothing great, a 144 was my high game :( we got raped tonight, everyone on the other team was bowling much much better than we we're. oh well, shit happens.

Erin's coming soon, I'm excited for that. Really really excited.
I need to find a new job soon, I want alot of stuff and I can't afford it driving pizza. Its just not worth my time to do it anymore :(

anywho, g'night.

spud

:: 2008 22 February :: 12.45am
:: Music: temple of the dog

i shot ten minutes of b-roll, and twenty minutes of interview today. so, nobody can say i'm slacking off. i have a com midterm tomorrow at two. filming some more b-roll from 3 to 5. not sure what's happening after that. possibly another interview.

saturday morning i have the studio from 8 to 10, so stewart can come in and lay down some phat bass grooves. midday might do some more interview action. and in the evening, kevin requested my company doing god-knows-what.

sunday i planned on doing church, lifting, maybe a movie, and then making up a bunch of shit for that scriptwriting assignment i wrote about last time. i also have an article due monday by two, so that might happen sunday night as well.

it looks pretty when i say it like that. very neat and orderly. everything fits.

however, reality is very very different. reality includes all the stuff i know about but didn't add to the schedule. it also includes all of the unfortunate (and sometimes fortunate) random shit that i'll never see coming, no matter how hard i try.

i don't know which i'd prefer, the reality as it is now, or the reality as it would be if it followed the paper exactly. the paper would be boring, but i feel like i'd be much more productive and much less stressed out. and i wouldn't feel as guilty about forgetting people (since it wouldn't happen) and i would never have to deal with the trauma of "picking favorites" (regardless of whether they're actually favorites, or just necessary damage control).

meh. life treats me well though. far better than i deserve. i just hope to god there's a light at the end of the tunnel. because, it feels like there is, but that it's never going to come. as we all know, light moves faster than i do, so i have zero chance to ever catch up with that shit. none whatsoever.

but i guess i'm supposed to be okay with that.

thanks once again, mr. j. for letting me bitch into you, and for having you not judge me. or even notice me at all, really. i appreciate that sometimes.

2 Bastards stepped on my dreams | Step on my dreams

:: 2008 20 February :: 10.18pm

i hate stealing internet grrr.

1 month, 8 days.

jayzulla

:: 2008 19 February :: 4.32pm
:: Music: Kottonmouth Kings - The Munchies

Great Song
(DADDY X)I got the munchies im feelin kinda hungry
Im at the grocery fillin up the humvee
These cereal boxes is lookin kinda funny: captain crunch, sugar smacks, and that trix bunny
Its like loadyland, disney for a stoner
Or viagra for your needy boner
Aisle after aisle I forgot what I came for
The store is closing but I gotta get me more munchies for a big night of kickin it
We bought an ounce an we packin it and rippin it
Richter go fire up the flame pit, grab the acoustic, strung naturalmistic
Hot tub yea you know its bubblin, but first I gotta stop my stomach from grumbling
Tasty, all aphrodisiacs, I got the munchies, weres the snack pack

(RICHTER)
bbq chips, and plenty of refreshments
Gummy bears, microwavables, mini thinmints
Ice cream, beef jerky, and candy bars
Del taco, get a number 4 with no sauce (extra cheese)
Vanilla shakes, sugar outta a straw (pixie sticks)
Now and laters, peach jolly ranchers, and buttered popcorn (I got the munchies)
Chocolates, fizzie sticks, cookies and otter pops
Reeses peices cups, tangy taffy, cracker jack box
My stomachs so hungry I need some mad munchies
How many g�s we�d smoked nobody ever really believe
Felt like a track meet meet, inhaling smoked heavily, barely time enough to take an air of breath and breathe
Now in straight cravin a BLT with extra bacon
No onions I don�t need my breathe to be stankin
Now for deserts let�s see what we got for some options
Dairy Queen, Marie CalendarS, or Baskin Robins
The clerk was cool at the 31 flavors
He let everybody make their own shit and yes he gave us�
�everything for free 50 free no charge
So we got an 8th of weed and two girlies in his car
Passably stoner Plus my gut was still growlin louder than a pack of coyotes for moon howlin
3 am 7-11 thankin god cause stoners heaven 24 theY never ever close the shop

(DADDY X)
(munchies) kisses and coco puffs
Fritos, chili cheese, Crunch N' Munch,
(I got the munchies) drumsticks, chocolate, cookie dough
Cheetos flaming hot and mangos
(I got the munchies) Smoothies, burritos with extra cheese
Jalape�os, hot sauce, or jolly lemon squeeze
(I got the munchies) nachos, pepperoni pizza
Hot wings, french fries and slurpees
(I got the munchies)

(D-LOC)
Im hungry as a motherfucker you know I got the munchies
I keep it gangsta, start dippin Oreo cookies
Soak em till they get soggy, let em fall apart till the bottom of my cup
Turn it up and drink it like coffee
You know I got the munchies when im at 7-11 gettin a slurpee and some nachos then bounce out to Del taco
Go get a chicken casadilla then I bought us some vato
Just ask my girl about my munchies holmes
Where the weed I need a ripp
Hurry up, pack it quick, light it up, let it fly
Feel the bud get you high
Take a trip, im gon� dip, into space, off the kind, in my mind, imma find another place for my rhyme
I got the mother fuckin munchies
So I think ill go eat this one girl named Allison's pussy

(RICHTER)
Cherry icees, whatchamacallits,
twizzlers, bubbalicious, nachos and chili dogs
(I got the munchies)
Hostess, fruits pies and cupcakes
Twinkies, zingers, crumb doughnuts with some cool-aid
Rice krispie treat, Ritz cheez-its
Frozen grapes, grilled sandwiches with ranch please
Banana splits, string cheese, double-doubles
Golden grams, cinnamon and sugar covered churros
(I got the munchies)
I GOT THE MUNCHIES
I GOT THE MUNCHIES
I GOT THE MUNCHIES
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(SWEET DICK WILLY) THEM MOTHER FUCKERS GOT THE MUNCHIES

1 Bastard | Step on my dreams

:: 2008 19 February :: 2.42am

Today was interesting;

I went to pay my ticket and the envelope said it was $70 and 3 points, I get there and the lady tell me its going to be $80 because they raised the prices.

Then i show up late to work because i was at the court house longer, Bill was opening today, for those of you that don't work at hungry howies, bill is the district manager, He wasn' t pissed thank god.

I had to close with him tonight though, we had the entire place ready to close at 8:30, I was impressed with how he did stuff.

I get home, played some Q3 with the rabid-duck crew.

Now my arms and abs are sore from the pushups and crunches i just did.
It feels good.

anywho, Night Night.

2 Bastards stepped on my dreams | Step on my dreams

spud

:: 2008 18 February :: 8.41pm
:: Mood: whelmed

scriptwriting, and so on.

i'm completely overwhelmed by this assignment. i think it's really cruel to make us go right into writing a full-on script. i have NO ideas. none! i like documentaries, because you can just find something to observe, and then manipulate what you see into something artistic. i like working with small groups of people, where you collaborate and build on each other's ideas. not like this. i'm so small and alone and insignificant and inexperienced. i suck at writing scripts, because - while i am good at writing, at least in certain ways - all of those qualities are things that don't make a damn bit of difference in scriptwriting. i have NEVER done theater, whether writing or performance. my short stories have all been bad - with some good parts in there - but as a whole, bad. and i understand that the point of the class is to get better at it. but i don't see how you're going to get better when you're bogged down and stressed out and completely nonplussed. i mean, i can look at a script, once it's written, and probably pick out some of the things that are good and some of the things that are bad. but in the process of writing it, i'm so lost in the formatting and the coming up with any ideas - anything at all - that i have no attention span left for critical analysis.

i'm just pissed.

calm down chris. you're okay. you're going to the studio tomorrow night, and it will be beautiful. you're done for the day, you only have one class tomorrow. it'll all be just fine. quit being a fucktard, and just enjoy it.

okay?

okay.

1 Bastard | Step on my dreams

spud

:: 2008 17 February :: 8.37pm

the one time i forget to copy my text before i submit, is always the time the whole entry gets deleted.

anyway, kevin:

dad's getting a band together. i want you to come try out. i will get you more information as soon as it's available. even if it's only for the summer, it'd still be fun.

also, i'm going to try applying for my passport this week. wish me luck.

spud	:: 2008 16 February :: 7.09am i should probably go to bed soon. it's been a busy day. Step on my dreams

jayzulla

:: 2008 15 February :: 1.26pm

Funniest shit EVER. Chipmunks are the greatest rappers alive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdddxfGe-EI