lil_bill06
|
::
2003 23 June :: 2.49pm
| lil_bill06 | | Magic Number | 19 | | Job | Criminal | | Personality | Vicarious | | Temperament | A Yo-Yo | | Sexual | Just Say No | | Likely To Win | A Free Coke | | Me - In A Word | Effervescent | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
|
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 23 June :: 2.38pm
test
| katie | | Magic Number | 13 | | Job | Porn Star | | Personality | Slacker | | Temperament | Best Not To Ask | | Sexual | Straight | | Likely To Win | The Booker Prize | | Me - In A Word | Belligerent | | Colour | | | Brought to you by MemeJack |
|
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 22 June :: 2.19pm
:: Mood: tired/depressed
:: Music: Audioslave
NOthing at all
So I stayed up till three o clock this morning. Dawn (my step mom) had this big huge talk about everything that she could think of. It sucked cuz I cried the whole entire time. Plus I was on the internet at the time and she made me get off but I could never get back on.Sorry Rob. And after that happened I went to go get back online but my dad was being all pissed off and wouldn't let me back on, so I got all pissed off for other reasons and so I went to my room and cried for about another hour until my dad got his head out of his ass and came to see what was wrong. So we had a big discussion on that. YOu would not believe how bad you would feel the see your own Father cry because of you. He stayed in my room until like two or so and then he told me to go to bed. I couldn't fall asleep. I threw up from crying so much and I had the biggest head ache ever. So I didn't get to sleep till about 3. Then I woke up at about 7. I got out of bed and there was three messages on the answering machine so I checked it and I found out that my nephew Dakota was in the hospital since 6:15. He couldn't breath and was on steriods in the hospital. He had to get x rays. Nobody knew what was wrong. Then at about 10:30 he was admitted into the hospital. He's still there now and I"m sitting at home doing nothing. Wanting to do something with Addison but I have to do something with my dad but he's all pissed off so I don't want to. Well I got to go. Talk to whoever wants to next time.
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 18 June :: 7.14pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: Trapt
Today
So toady Addison is coming over. As a matter of fact he is here right now. I have missed him. I'm glad that I finally get to see him. But oh well I'm going to go so I can hang out with Atman. LYSYB.
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 8 June :: 11.33am
3 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 8 June :: 11.19am
:: Mood: depressed
Lying in bed thinking 'who cares'. I know that nobody really does. Wanting to die. Falling asleep and never waking up. But yet nobody would care. I want out.
3 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 8 June :: 11.17am
:: Mood: whatever
absolutely nothing
So my niece Ashely is here and she's being really annoying. She's bugging me. I can't stand her any more. I wish that I could just get out of here and not care any more, but I know that won't happen anytime soon.
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 7 June :: 9.25pm
:: Mood: very depressed
:: Music: grd
horse races
So today I went to the horse races with Addison and his family. I met both of his grandmas, his grandpa, and his aunt Jen and Uncle. (I don't remember his name.) His parents horse ended up winning which was cool because I got a cut in the money. But the bad thing was that I had to get my picture taken... damn you Addison. Oh well it wasn't that bad. It could have been worse. If you're wondering why my mood says very depressed it's because I forgot to take my meds this morning. I forgot it at my mom's house. And I have to go all day tomorrow without it too. I know that I'm going to freak. I already was at Addison's grandparents house. We played pool and I won a couple of times and so did Addison. I needed to get away from everyone I didn't know so we played pool and NO not pocket pool. I'm proud of myself though because I had the chance to cheat on Addison the other day (I won't say who with though, they know who there are.) and I didn't. I don't want to screw things up with him. I don't want to lose him. We have something really special that I have never had with anyone else. I wish that I could actually be convinced that I am worth something besides what Addison thinks of me. Well g2g. LYSYB.
3 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 6 June :: 10.02pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: KLQ/GRD
Movies
Yeah so I just got home from the movies. I went and seen Finding Nemo. And of course Addison took me. It was so cute and funny. It was so cool. The thing that sucked though was that there were so many little kids there that wouldn't shut up. It was very annoying. Oh well I had fun. I got to spend time with Addison. I love spending time with him. He is so great. He's amazing. I wish that we could be together forever, but I think we all know that won't happen. I wish but no. It sucks though. He is so great to everyone, especially to me. I love spending time with him. Well don't want to bore you all.LYSYB.
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 6 June :: 5.27pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: trapt
school
I'm so happy that school is finally out. I get to be away from everyone that I hate and that hates me. I really can't stand some people. I hope that I do actually move this summer. I want to but then I would miss the very little friends that I actually have. I'm really worried about Bill. He's freaking me out. I don't know what to do. My knee hurts, I was laying on the floor in p.e today and mike Jumped on my knee. I miss Addison. I hope that we can do something this weekend. I wish that I could drive then I could do anything that I want to whenever I want to. I'm bored and I don't know what else to right. Well Addison I LOVE YOU.
LYSYB.
2 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 28 May :: 3.28pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: GRD
Whatever
I'm so glad that softball is finally over. I hate Ringler but it's going to suck because he's going to be the JV coach next year. I really don't want to have to put up with him but softball is my life. I don't know what I would do without it. Anyway Bill got me sick. I feel like shit. I don't want to put up with being sick in the summer. It sucks I have to go to work tomorrow. I really don't want to because it's so hot in there but I guess it's cool cause I get money. I miss Addison I'm waiting for him to call so we can do something. I wish that I was with him right now. I hate my life. You would not believe. I can't take it anymore. Well don't want to bore you anymore. LYSYB
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 28 May :: 2.55pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: GRD
drowning.
Does it count as suicide if your brother pushes you into a pool and you drown?
3 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 25 May :: 9.38am
:: Mood: very depressed
:: Music: KLQ
suicide
get the gun, put in the bullet, put it up to my head, cock it, pull the triger, I'm dead.
5 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 24 May :: 7.47pm
:: Mood: happy and helpless
:: Music: GRD
Atmans house
Yeah so today I woke up and a couple hours later I went to Addisons. And of course nobody else was home so you all know what we did. ;) :0 So anyway we went to blockbuster and rented Overboard. It was pretty dumb. It had Adam Sandler in it so that's why we rented it. We wanted to rent Billy Madison but they didn't have it. We went back to his house and watched the movie. We also watched Happy Gilmore, and Zoolander. I really wasn't paying any attention. I had fun though. So about an hour before I had to leave his mom showed up. It wasn't so bad except she kept poping up at really weird moments. But oh well I got to spend my day with Atman. I was so exstatic. It was awesome. I miss him already and I just left his house at 7:00. Oh well I get to see him again Monday.
It sucks monday we have a band thingy to do and I have no clue where my flip folder or liar are at so I'm practically screwed unless I memorize the music in about 5 minutes that I would even have to do anything but I would be too busy with Atman. So I'm not sure what to do. I already looked where I thought it was but it wasn't there. So I have to look some more. But I guess I'll have to actually try. Well don't want to bore you. LYSYB.
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 24 May :: 10.21am
Young. Really young. I'd say anywhere from 15-35.
But you'll go out with a bang. You'll get in a
car accident or be shot. You'll never have to
see yourself get old. Sad though. Really sad.
By the way, its common knowledge that more
people with great goals and aspirations die
young. And if you want to die old, you'll die
young and vice versa.
At what age will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 23 May :: 10.35pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Audioslave
Tell me why you care.
So seriously why do people care? I really don't see why but if you really do then it's up to you. I'm not powerful enough to change any of your minds. All I know is that I want an answer. I want to be able to have a reason for someone to care. I would love to know how people really honestly feel about me.
2 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 23 May :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: oddly confused
:: Music: Stained
whatever
I want to leave you all. I want out. I can't take it anymore. I don't want to put up with it. I can't do it. Does anyone want to come with me? I think that a lot of you want to but I want to go alone. So what do you think of me now? Wanting to see you somewhere else. Wanting to leave you alone all by yourself. What's up with this? Where did all these feelings come from?? I haven't done so in so long. I don't know where I am I want nothing out of anyone. So what do you want?
1 comment |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 23 May :: 6.10pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: new stained cd
This week
Hey so this week was boring. The only great thing about it was Addison. Obviously. Yesterday we were suppost to have a game vs Wyoming Park, but they didn't show up so we didn't play. It sucked because we sat there for 2 hours doing nothing but waiting for someone to show up. Tuesday is our last game vs Sparta. I hope that we win. I know that Addison and Erin are going but I don't know of anyone else. It's weird before Addison and I started going out Bill never talked to me unless he had to, now he always talks to me. And of course it's always about Jacki so I think that he's trying to make me jelous. But it's not working. Science was so boring we had a different sub everyday and all we did was watched a movie on Dinosaurs and had to write a page and a half report. It sucked I'm so glad that it's over. Modisher is a jerk off and is being stupid like always. He's been bitching at me for everything. Even if he's wrong and I'm right. He's suck a dick. I hate him. I miss Addison. So at softball today we practiced for about an hour and then we packed eleven people in a mini van. It was hard but luckely I sat up front and didn't have anyone sitting on me and I didn't have to sit on anyone. So how is everyone doing? I'm so fricken tired. And it sucks the one day we have off of school I have to do a band thing for Memorial Day. But oh well it's not that bad cuz I get to see Addison for a couple of hours. This weekend I might go to his house and otherwise I'm going to go golfing. I really don't want to but my dad wants to so I'll probably end up going sometime. Well I really don't know what else to write so LYSYB.
ME
1 comment |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 17 May :: 11.55am
:: Mood: Tired & Unhappy
:: Music: GRD
TODAY
Yeah so today I had to get up at 5 this morning just to go to work. And I was suppost to go somewhere with Addison but nope that was out of the question. I'm so fricken bored. I'm home alone with no one to talk to besides myself and I'm hungry but too lazy to cook anything. I miss Addison.
Things I want right now
1) To be with Addison
2) sleep
3) someone to talk to
4) the new Stained cd
5) Sims Hot Date
6) to get my audition over with
7) tickets to Ozzfest
8) tickets to lolapoluza
9) ADDISON
10) the new Blink 182 cd
11) cable tv
12) someone who cares
13) alcohol
14-100) none other than ADDISON
2 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 15 May :: 3.35pm
:: Mood: Deeply depressed
:: Music: Korn
Family Problems
Yeah so if you've read Addison's journal you practically already know what's up but if not here it goes. My mom got all pissed at me because Addison drove me home and not Adam. Then when I went to my dad's house after softball practice my mom picked me up at 6:00 to take me to the band thingy I went to last night. She saw that Addison was there and was just like "what's up with that whys he here?" So I told her and that's when she started ignoring me. Then we went to the band thing and I sat with Addison, Erin, and who ever else was at the table. She went off and sat by herself when she was more than welcome at our table but no she didn't want to. So she bitched at me for not sitting with her when she already said that it was okay if I didn't sit with her the day before. And I even got my band letter and she didn't say anything about that. She just sat around and moaped the rest of the day. And now today she still hasn't said anything to me except for "good". The only reason I talked to her was to tell her that I didn't have a game or practice today. She's being such a bitch. And now she's being all friendly with Adam just to piss me off even more.
Anyway who cares about her. Addison came over yesterday and we watched Jackass. It is the best movie ever but some of it is really sick. And we had our band Banquet last night. It was great all the food there was deserts. So much chocolate. And I got my band letter so I'm happy for that. Now I get my varsity jacket. Which my mom doesn't want me having. She's probably going to tell my aunt not to get me one. I get whatever one I want with whatever on it. It's so cool. Well I got to get going. LYSYB
1 comment |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 11 May :: 2.32pm
:: Mood: devious
:: Music: GRD
Bored
Hey. It's amazing I actually woke up before noon. I got up at 8:00. I'm so bored. I haven't done anything interesting today. I've did my math homework and I've been on the internet off and on. But there was one good thing that I did today. I talked to Addison. It sucks. I've had all weekend without my stepmom. She came back today. but oh well I leave today to go to my mom's sooner or later. Well I don't know what else to write and I don't want to bore anyone. LYSYB
1 comment |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 10 May :: 8.43pm
 Also known widely as the Fire Bird, the phoenix is a profound symbol of life and rebirth. It has a life cycle of 500 to 600 years and after that amount of time, it sets itself on fire and dies in the flames. Then, after three days, it rises again from the ashes. It is a completely benign creature who lives in dew. It is said that the phoenix has a beautiful melodious song which grows ever more mournful as its life comes to an end. It is also a symbol of the sun and immortality.
What mythical beast best represents you?Take the quiz!
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 10 May :: 8.14pm
:: Mood: ecstatic
:: Music: KLQ
today
Yeah so today I went to the movies with Addison. We went and saw X men 2. It was okay, not the greatest. It had the stupidest ending ever. It could have been so much better. After the movies we went back to Addison's house. There we watched Saturday Night Live. And also Orange County. He asked me out and of course I said yes. I am really ecstatic about it. I'm really happy and I don't know why anyone ever had a problem with Addison. He's so sweet and funny. He's really polite and respectful. And yes Bill I know that I said that I wanted time to myself, well obviously I have had enough time to myself. And no this doesn't make me a whore or slut or anything. Adam was so freaking out though. I called home from Addison's to see if I could stay longer so we could watch Orange County and Adam picked up the phone and was sying alot of shit about nothing. But it was funny.
4 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 9 May :: 3.04pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: 8 Mile soundtrack
friendship
Hey it's me again. I'm so confused, Bill thinks that I hate him and that I don't care, but really I do care and I don't hate him. I really would like to be friends with him still. But it's up to him, it all depends on what he wants. I know that he probably will want to be friends but its up to him. It all depends on what he wants. Nobody really cares about what I want.
Yeah so I actually have plans for this weekend that is if my dad will let me go. I might go to the movies with Addison and go watch X men 2. Hopefully I get to go because I've really been looking forward to it and I know something that nobody else does, well except for Addison and I.
4 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 7 May :: 6.05pm
:: Mood: confused yet free
:: Music: eminesance
friends
Yeah so I'm sure that you all heard that Bill and I broke up. I'm glad that we did, he's so obbsesive and follows me around. Now one of my friends, Nicki, told him off and to leave me alone. He even followed me at lunch. I really don't know why. He already figured out that I didn't want him to sit there but he never left. My friends are very happy that we finally broke up. I've been thinking about doing it for a very long time but I never had the guts to do it.
So now I hang out with Addison. As many of you could figure out if you ever see me with him that I have a crush on him. But the bad thing is that he really doesn't feel the same way and because I just want to be by myself but I want to be with him. I really don't know what to do. And plus I know that Bill would be really mad but frankly I don't care.
For softball now our record is 3-13. We suck so bad. I can't even play and it sucks. I have tendenitise of the rotator cuff. I wish that I could play but really my mom won't let me.
well I really don't know what else to write so LYSYB.
4 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 27 April :: 11.26am
you are the "you're so dumb" happy bunny.
you are brutal in your words and enjoy putting
others down.
which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 26 April :: 8.14pm
:: Mood: dirty
:: Music: audioslave Like a stone
Today
Bill came over today. From 1:30 to 7:45. We went to the movies and watched Anger Managment. It was an okay movie. It wasn't Adam Sandlers best movie but it wasn't his worst. After the movie we went back to my house and watched tv and then hung out in my room. After that we ate and then watched more tv. I miss him. I didn't want him to leave. But I can always see him later.
3 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 25 April :: 9.42pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: LInkin Park
Woohu
I'm so damn depressed. It sucks so bad. I got controled by a 4 year old. It sucked so bad. I have absolutly no autority over her. She is so stupid. I can't stand her. Shes my niece Ashely. Not many people know her but some do.
I'm also really happy I get to see Bill for 6 hours tommorrow. I can't wait. Well till then I'll write later. LYSYB
5 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
lil_bill06
|
::
2003 25 April :: 2.52pm
:: Mood: tired yet stupid
:: Music: anything by audioslave
whatever
Yeah so today sucked bigtime. They cancled softball practice which is cool cuz my arm hurts. But it sucks, Rob hates me and everone is trying to talk me out of suicide. I wish that things would go back to how they were before I got my depression. I was so opptimistic and carefree. Now I'm very pesimistic and to myself. I hate being alone but yet I can't stand being around people. They all think that I'm happy, but I do what I can just to please others. I don't care about myself I just want people to leave me alone about whats wrong and shit. If you want to know then get to know me. Otherwise leave me the hell alone.
Yesterday I got a hug from Addison. I don't think that he was expecting it though. It was cool. We also lost another softball game yesterday. We really need to win a game. We haven't won one all year. well I'll write more later. LYSYB
4 comments |
say whaaa?
|
|
