::
2009 21 September :: 6.48pm
:: Mood: cheerful
:: Music: "Here(In your arms)" By: Hellogoodbye
Brie and I are bored
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::
2009 8 September :: 6.32am
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: "Be my rain" By: Zeraphine
Ugh
Back to school for me. Leaving in about 20 minutes. I'm tired, bored, and school will increase both of those. But, I have to do it. Wish me luck. :P
When I was young I knew everything
She a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I'm guilt stricken,
Sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice
I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
My best friend took a week's
Vacation to forget her
His girl took a weeks's worth of
Valium and slept
And now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his
Head on the floor
Thinks about her now and how he never really
Wept he says
I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
hey yeah
hey yeah
hey yeah
We've tried to wash our hands of all this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our
Heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to
Slip, we'd say
I can't be held responsible
She was touching her face
And I won't be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We'd never compromise
For the life of me I cannot believe
We'd ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen
We were merely freshmen
::
2009 24 August :: 5.00pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Sleepwalking" By: Analog Sway
Sleep walking through the party
Just like everybody
Your denim was your weapon
Shhh everybody listen.
Your boots a deadly venom...
Your lust was your addiction
You ask for no permission and
My body is the victim
Your eyes met mine across the room then
Boom
She knew she had me so she started dancing over slowly
She smiled at me as my jaw dropped to the floor.
I stood speechless and still
She went right for the kill
She took my hand and whispered,
I can show you so much more
Twist my lips in submission
From all your k k kissin
You got what Ive been missin
Shhhh boys just keep on wishin
Tonight youre on a mission
Keep me on one condition
That this becomes tradition
My body is the victim
Your eyes meet mine across the room then
Boom
Sleepless dreaming, sleepless feeling
When I saw her dance
I saw her dancing
::
2009 4 August :: 12.58pm
:: Mood: giddy
:: Music: "Happiness is a warm gun" By: The Beatles
She's not a girl who misses much
Do do do do do do, oh yeah
She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane
The man in the crowd with the multicoloured mirrors
On his hobnail boots
Lying with his eyes while his hands are busy
Working overtime
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust
I need a fix 'cause I'm going down
Down to the bits that I left uptown
I need a fix cause I'm going down
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun
Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Happiness (is a warm gun, momma)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
(When I hold you in my arms)
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!
And when I feel my finger on your trigger
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!
I know nobody can do me no harm
Oooooooooh, oh yeah!
Happiness (is a warm gun, momma)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Yes it is, gun!
Happiness (is a warm gun)
Bang Bang Shoot Shoot
Happiness (is a warm gun)
is a warm gun, yeeeaahhh!
::
2009 31 July :: 2.16pm
:: Music: "Lips Like Morphine" By: Kill Hannah
Song lyrics with some minor changes.
I want a guy with lips like morphine
Knock me out every time they touch me
I wanna feel that kiss just crush me
And break me down
Knock me out!
Knock me out!
Cuz I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight
I want a guy with lips like morphine
Blow a kiss that leaves me gasping
I want to feel that lightning strike me
And burn me down
Knock me out!
Knock me out!
Cuz I've waited for all my life
To behere with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again
Oh, I want a guy with lips like morphine
Knock me out everytime they touch me
I want a girl with lips like morphine
To knock me out
See I've waited for all my life
To be here with you tonight
Just put me on my back
Knock me out again.
good times, good times.
Spent last night with Jess. We just hung out, watched Dog the Bounty Hunter, made brownies, ate peanuts, and drank a little. Fun night. :]
::
2009 2 July :: 5.39pm
:: Music: Angry Aryans-Guilty of Being White
Wedding
My dad gets married in less than an hour...again. I miss the fuck out of ya'll. Shit's been fucked and I wish I had stayed in touch. But regardless of what turns out know that I always have love for each of you.
::
2009 1 July :: 1.20am
:: Mood: content
:: Music: "Use Somebody" By: Kings of Leon
Fourth of July
Yeah so, things have been going great. I've been watching Bree for Aunt Judy and Uncle Rich, so I'm earning money. Then I'm getting more at the end of the week. I'm going to Sand Lake for Fourth of July, and I think Brendon's going with me. He said he wants to, he's just got to check and make sure. So, it should be fun. Hang out, walk around the carnival, and watch the fireworks. But, I better go. Bye.
::
2009 27 June :: 1.33am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: "Waking up in Vegas" By: Katy Perry
News
Well, only a couple people have heard aside from my mom and dad, but I have an announcement. Calm down, I'm not pregnant. Ready? Ok, I'll tell you. I'm going back to school to get my diploma this coming Fall. I am not going to the regular High School though. I hate that school, alot of the staff, and alot of the student body. I am going to CTA. Creative Technologies Academy. Well, we still have to enroll me in August and I hope I can go there, but if they accept me, then I will be happy. There is still that lazy part of me that doesn't want to wake up early in the morning, get dressed, walk to school, do boring work, then come home tired. But, I need an education to get anywhere in life, so I am taking action and going back to school. I have to keep my enthusiasm and effort up, because in the long run, going to school everyday is worth it. And I think that I just didn't realise that when I was staying home and skipping all the time. I need to buckle down, as my dad would say. I used to hate that expression and when he used it I wanted to punch him, but he's right. I need to graduate. So, I just figured I would let you guys know that I am going back to school. But, I have to go. Bye.
::
2009 21 June :: 11.54pm
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: "Wanted" By: Jessie James
Shopping, Surprise Anniversary party, and a cook out.
Well, this was a pretty good weekend. We got to my grandparent's house on Friday night, and just relaxed. Then Saturday morning I woke up at 7:30am, got dressed, ate a bowl of cereal, did my make up then took off with my Grandma. We went to Goodwill, Cato's, Dollar Tree, and Wal-Mart, all in Ionia. I got a couple shirts, A hippie necklace with a peace sign on it(made of wood and hemp), a bracelet, nail art, nail polish, cosmetic wedges, sun glasses(rockstar shades, let me tell you), and one of my alllll time favourite movies, un rated and special edition....."The Boondock Saints". Hells to the yes. So, I am extremely happy right now. I watched it today, and laughed my ass off. My favourite part is when they come down through the cieling, tanlged up in rope, and they kill the mob people, then the brother that bought the rope looks at his brother and mockingly says "What do you need your stupid fucking rope for huh?". HaHa. So, everything went well this weekend. And after shopping yesterday, we went to my Aunt Tina's for a surprise anniversary party for my Grandparents 40th wedding anniversary. And today for Father's Day, we just had my Aunt and Uncle over for a cook out. The only bad part about this weekend was I finished my book so I had nothing else to read, and my Pokemon game on my GameBoy froze up, so I had to start all over. But, today was good. And it ended with the best thing. Being held by Brendon and him giving me kisses. But, better go. Bye.
::
2009 18 June :: 1.10am
:: Mood: Adored
:: Music: "Wanted" By: Jessie James
Wow, this guy is....Amazing.
I can't believe the difference in mine and Brendon's relationship. I look at the times we've tried before, and it just amazes me that this time it's working out, very well I might add. We see each other everyday, we watch movies, play volleyball, other things no one should know about..HaHa. Then I also love that he gets along with ALL my siblings. That's usually pretty hard. Him and Dylan get along great. They play War games together, him and Brie laugh and talk in funny accents. Him and Tanna play ball and talk. And him and Ava play, talk, watch TV together, etc. He's a total sweet heart and I love everything about him. We don't fight or bring up topics we differ on just to annoy each other, we've grown up. I love spending time with him...soooo much. When I see him my heart beats faster, When he kisses me or just holds me I get butterflies in my stomach and it's always hard to contain my smiles when I'm around him. He makes me smile, laugh, feel amazing about myself and everything else. We could be in a war zone, but as long as his arms are around me and he's kissing me on the forehead, I wouldn't care. I'd be smiling. But, I have to go. Bye.
::
2009 24 May :: 7.25am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: "Thinking of you" By: Katy Perry
It's early.
Well, today I am going with Kayliegh, Grandma, Dan, Chase, Derek, and a friend of Chase's choice on a "surprise vacation" thing. Kayliegh will probably be over around 10 to pick me up. I still have some packing to do, although I did most of it last night. I mostly have to just pack my pillows, a blanket, some clothes, and maybe some other things, I'm not sure.But, we'll be gone until late Tuesday. It should be fun. I don't know why, but I am feeling pretty sick to my stomach right now. I just feel like at any mintue I could throw up, nauseous. Or however you spell that. HaHa. I got to talk to Brendon for a couple minute last night, he said camping sucks without me. Well Brendon, you should have let me talk to Ryan directly so I could know the real time line of this camping trip. Unfortunately it wasn't from Saturday to Sunday, it was from Friday to Monday. Yeah, my mom was already having a hard enough time letting me go with boys over night, but 3 nights, no way in hell. So Brendon, your loss. HaHa. But, I better go. I have to switch over the laundry and pack some of my remaining things. Bye.
Birthday!!!!
Well, it's my birthday. Brie and Dylan got me presents and gave them to me last night. Here they are:
Brie- Vanilla Sugar candle, Orange cranberry candle, and a card.
Dylan- 2 starbucks vanilla coffees, cotton candy, 8 pack of fun size snickers, and a card.
Aubri also came over today and gave me a book, a canvas panel, tubes of acrylic paints, and she straightened my hair. Brendon's supposed to come over, but I called 20 minutes ago and guess what...he's sleeping. I told him not to sleep late. But, I knew he would. Whatever. I'm kind of bored though. I already painted on the canvas panel. The background is black and I painted white and purple flowers all over it. My mom loves it. I'm pretty proud of it. Aubri said it's gorgeous, so, ego boost for me. HaHa. I'm all done up, hair, make up, dressed, but I have nowhere to go. I'll probably call Brendon again and have them actually wake him up. But, we are having my birthday dinner and brownies tonight. Then I am opening the presents my mom and Doug got for me. My mom keeps teasing me, making me over-excited. She keeps saying "You're going to love your presents". HaHa. But, better go. Bye.
::
2009 16 May :: 2.00pm
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: "Full Moon" By: The Black Ghosts
Birthday Fun
Well, last night was a bomb ass night. Me and Kayliegh had Taco Bell for dinner, then we went to the movies, then came home and played video games. We saw "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". I looooooved it. Especially when Hugh Jackman was butt naked running around, HaHa. The movie was pretty badass, if you ask me. Then, I'm not sure what the name of the video game is, but it has to do with Samurais and fighting, and that was a kickass game. I ate too much though. HaHa. I ate more than half the bag of Medium popcorn to myself, then continued eating donuts and soup at Kayliegh's. It was an awesome night overall. And I want to say Thank you sooooo much again Kayliegh. I had alot of fun and I really appreciate it. Even when you were calling me whore and bitch, it still made me happy. HaHa. But, tomorrow is my birthday, and it's the only time where I will actually be opening wrapped presents. Everyone else took me shopping, went to the movies, or gave me money. Nothing wrong with that though, just stating that my mom actually wants me to open presents. I told her just going shopping would be fine with me, but, she wants me to open something. Then, even though I'm not supposed to eat it, we are having chili for my birthdy dinner. And I'm not much of a cake person, I like brownies more, so we are having those brownies with cream cheese mixed in them. But, my birthday is going to sort of be celebrated again in June. Like I have wrote before, me and my Grandma H. are going shopping, and I don't know when, but my dad is still taking me to get inked. So, pretty excited for those too. But, I better go. I have laundry that needs to be done. Bye.
Well. the Garage Sale is in 2 days. I hope the weather cooperates. We just have to grab a couple things from the basement and the attic, then make signs and we are done. Well, aside from having to set up and what not, we are done. I definitely feel a hundred times better than I was the other day. My cold started late Saturday night, and it got worse, the calmed down alot. My nose is still somewhat stuffed and I do cough up crap, but, it's definitely gotten better. I'm sure my smoking doesn't help with the phlem in my throat, but who cares. It's just phlem. HaHa. I'm around chapter 12 in that White Oleander book. The book is definitely better than the movie. That's usually how it turns out. Except How to Deal.The book sucked hardcore and the movie was a million times better. One of those rare cases where movies outdo the books. But, since I got that book, I have a nightly ritual. I wait until all the kids and Doug go to bed, so it's quiet, and then I make a cup of tea and just sit at the dining table and read anywhere from 2 pages to 4 chapters. I'm glad I got this book. It's nice to have something that allows me to escape from reality for however long I choose. But, I better go. Bye.
Birthday Shopping.
Well, I went Birthday shopping yesterday with my Grandma T. We went to Goodwill and Wal-Mart, both in Ionia. I got a pearl necklace(for my Marilyn Monroe costume), 2 shirts, a new cute wallet, and Gladiator sandals. I used to looks at those things and say "ewww. Horrible fashion trend", now, I love them and I wear them all the time. HaHa. My dad is still taking me to get the claddagh tattoo around my wrist, but he wanted to get me something to open. So...he got me the claddagh ring. I now have the necklace, earrings, and ring. And soon I will have the tattoo. I love it. It has my birth stone. But, my birthday is in a week exactly. So, Saturday night I plan on going to Kayliegh's to hang out and celebrate it early in a sense. Because I can't have fun on a Sunday night.....because Sunday is LAME. But, my Grandma H. is having a hard time exactly trying to find out a time to take me shopping for my birthday. They are starting to go camping a bit, so, she had to plan on a day where they wouldn't be camping or anything. So, we set it for Father's Day weekend. It's a little ways away, but I can wait. She said that there's a new coffee shop opening around that time in Lowell, so she said we can go get coffee there, then we can go wherever I want to. We are for sure going to Goodwill and this store in Ionia that has cute clothes, and they never go over a certain price. Then we can go pretty much wherever else I want to. I'm thinking I might also want to go to Meijer, Wal-Mart, and a bookstore, if we can find one outside of the mall. I love the mall, but, I just don't want to go there this time. But, I am going to go. Bye.
-Samm
P.S.- Let the Birthday count down begin. 7 days until my Birthday!!!!!!!
The weekend.
The weekend is sort of here. I just have to stand doing chores until about 7pm. Me and the kids(except Brie) are going to our dad's for the weekend. Saturday my Grandma T. is picking me and Tanna up to go Birthday Shopping. I'll probably ask to go to goodwill, maybe Meijer. So, that should be fun. The Sunday, we are getting picked up early by my mom, Doug, Ava, and Brie and we are going to my Grandma T.'s for Mother's Day. But, Jenny brought me "The vampire chronicles" yesterday, that will help me with the empty parts of the weekend. THANK YOU JENNY!!!! :] Have fun up North. HaHa. But, we went to the new Meijer here in Cedar the other day.....wow, totally different set up from every other Meijer I have been to. Guess what they have....come on guess. Okay...they have a HALL of bread. No, not an isle.....an actual HALL. It's loaf upon loaf of bread. Along with Hostess cupcakes and more. But a hall of bread. It's strange, but it's cool. This Meijer isn't as big as Rockford's, so, it has everything except a Jewelry center, shoes, Juniors clothes, and I think one more thing. But, it's pretty cool. They also have a TON of books. The books were the first thing I saw when we walked in, and I just gasped. My mom didn't know why I was gasping so she assumed something was wrong. "What's wrong??" I just pointed and said, "They have books. Lots and lots of books. And I see a few I have, want to read, or look interesting". Yes, I said "look interesting" from afar. I am a person that does the opposite of what they tell you. They always say "Don't judge a book by it's cover"....yeah...well.....I can't do that. If it looks like a cheesy 80's advertisement on the front, I won't read it. The picture and description have to grab me. If one doesn't, then it's not going to be read by me. But, I have to go vacuum....Ava's teacher is coming over for a home visit. Bye.
-Samm
P.S.- Yesterday Brendon and Kayliegh were over...there was a Gardener snake, Brendon picked it up to throw it in the woods...and as he threw it, the snakes tail came off. HaHa.
::
2009 6 April :: 1.27am
:: Mood: Fuck Off
:: Music: "Almost Lover" by: A Fine Frenzy
Flower pot painting and crazy movies.
Well, Girl's Night was a success. It was fun. We got moneys and went to Dollarville and each got flower pots and painted them when we got back to Kayliegh's house. Mine is Ocean themed, Kayliegh's was flower themed, and Jenny's.....I don't even know. I know there was talk about splotches and snails. HaHa. Afterwards, Jenny and I headed to her house to grab some movies. We watched "Shrooms" and "Requiem for a dream". Crazy movies. But, part way through that second movie, it was time for me to rest my head and my tired eyes. The next morning I was seriously dragging though. I got over 8 hours of sleep, yet it felt like I pulled an all nighter. Then...the worst part came. I went home! *Dun Dun Dun* I wanted to just lay down and sleep or just play Pokemon....no no. Impossible. The kids blew the Dining room and Living room to all hell. I had to pick that mess up; Repeatidly. Then we had a talk. Not going into that right now. Then the rest came. I played Pokemon for a total of 5 hours. Yeah, that's right...I am a huge nerd. But, I better go. Bye.
She's back!
Well, Kayliegh came back last night. And I was super excited to see her. I missed her alot for the past couple months. But, we hung out today at her house; Her, Jenny, and I. I came home from her house with 2 boxes and a giant Kohl's bag of stuff. So, I am going to have fun figuring out what to do with what. HaHa. But, for the rest of the week, we are pretty much busy. Tomorrow apparently we're having like a birthday celebration for Grandpa, we're making burgers on the grill and everything. The Friday, Mom, Doug, and Kayliegh are going to a bar with a bunch of people for Grandpa's surprise party. Then on Saturday, me and Jenny are going to Kayliegh's house for a "Girl's night". So, it's going to be fun. But, I don't have much to write about. Bye.
Laugh. Smile. Sigh.
Lately I've been making my posts friends only. I'm not quite sure why. I think it could be because I'm paranoid and I don't want my mom or anyone aside from my friends on here to know how giddy I am. And when I say giddy, I mean as giddy as a damn school girl. HaHa.
Last night me and my mom went to Family Fare to get some milk and what not. We ended up seeing the clearance area and ran for it. HaHa. Mom found these Starbucks Chocolates that were on sale, and we had a coupon on top of that discount. So, for Starbucks, it was cheap. She hated my favourite chocolate. I love, LOVE the Mocha Dark Chocolate. It's my favourite kind of chocolate and there's coffee grounds in it that taste like mocha. My mom thought it was disgusting, and found it even more disgusting when I ate and enjoyed the Coffee ground chocolate. HaHa. So, I ate pretty much all of those kinds out of the "Sampler".
Right now, it is 8:25 in the morning, and Ava is sick. So, she's very whiney, she keeps getting a fever, she's coughing up her lungs, and she can't sleep. She woke up not too long ago. I was hoping with her being sick and all, she would want to try and sleep, I was wrong for hoping that. But, for a little bit this morning she was mad at me. She kept yelling at me and repeated the phrase "You didn't hear me!". I wish I could answer your "What the hell does that mean?" question, but I myself have no clue what-so-ever. Right now, however, we are all buddy buddy right now, she's on my lap kissing my cheek and asking which of my arms hurts. And it's off to the couch to watch "Monsters Inc." for her.
But, the weekend is here, and I'm excited. Even though me and Brie got into a little spat yesterday about my weekend leaving. She says I should stay home for a weekend and I need to help out more. I don't know what the hell her problem is, but I help out as much as I can. I am sort of limited, however. I can't lift anything heavy, I can't really pick much up off the ground, I can't even stir hamburger, and if I fold too much laundry, my shoulder gets it's own pulse. I am here all week long, which yes, is my fault and choice because of dropping out. But, I need social interaction too, and the weekend is pretty much my only time to do it. Then afterwards she tells me "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude or bitchy, I'm just trying not to cry". I told her she didn't need to take it out on everyone else. Because I wasn't the only victim to fall prey to her "I'm bitching everyone out and bossing them around because I'm trying not to cry". She was yelling at Tanna for not doing things quick enough or up to her standards. She was screaming about how Dylan should be up here, not in the basement playing the PS2. It was ridiculous. And I'm going to piss her off even more, by leaving this weekend. I'm never even gone for a whole 24 hours, that's the thing. I leave sometime after dark, then I come home anywhere from 10am-1pm the next day. Not even 24 fucking hours. And before I leave, I usually make sure everything's handled and going smoothly. If things are a mess and Ava is screaming, I try to do my best to calm her down and straighten things out. I'm not some fucking robot that can just stay home all week and then stay home on the weekends. She brings up the High School drop out thing all the time, and how that is why I don't have a social life. WRONG. I didn't have a social life while I was in school either. I've been an anti-social person for a long time, and I'm starting to get a life back. So, excuse me for being inside all week while everyone else is leaving and having fun, but I am not staying home on the weekends. I think she's also just bitching at me about leaving because she can't leave. She's grounded and will stay that way for another week and a half or so, so she's just pissed off because she can't leave for the moment.
Anyway, I'm going to stop bitching and end this here before I ramble and it gets too long. Bye.
