stupid me
I'm an idiot, a real idiot. I speak my mind and look where it get's me. I should have not said anything. then I leave for awhile, and come back to find an apology and I wasn't even there. so she now thinks her sorry's aren't sincere enough. oh well. what will I do. give me advice

ah
yeah, this is crazy. I'm home right now, it's 9 o'clock, and it's wedensday. and I think I'm going crazy. I really think I pissed Tare off last night. and that was kind of bothering me, but other than that no problems.
I am now realizing why I go to school. SO I HAVE SOMETHING TO DO. I needed a break. I have a thousand things I want to do but I don't want to move, and the kitchens too far away. oh well. later

So this is odd,
the painful realization that has all gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all,
and nobody cares at all.

So you buried all your lover's clothes
and burned the letters lover wrote,
but it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.

So this is strange,
our sidestepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.

And the picture frames are facing down
and the ringing from this empty sound
is deafening and keeping you from sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinking's just too much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.

This is incredible.
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
Well you'd like to think that you were invincible.
Yeah, well weren't we all once before we felt loss for the first time?
Well this is the last time.

Josie
You're my source of most frustration
Forget when
I don't need expectations
Everything you wished came true
In the end we all blamed you
Even though, as the all know,
You weren't the only one

Why do you still keep it around
When you know it brings me down,
I'm hating everything
And I know that you dated other guys
But I got to wonder why
You'd leave it out for me

Why am I wtill hanging around
When I know you brings me down
I'm hating everything
And you are geting rides home in his car
You're making out in his front yard
I'm hating everything

Please don't remind me
Put your past behind me
It shines so bright it blinds me
I wish that it would end
Am I am not fine
Last night I saw you online
Your screen name used to be mine
Why can't we just pretend

And if we can have another day
I've got so much left to say
I'd tell you everything
And I'll laugh when I think about the past
When I see you after class
You're hating everything

Please don't remind me
Put your past behind me
It shines so bright it blinds me
I wish that it would end
Am I am not fine
Last night I saw you online
Your screen name used to be mine
Why can't we just pretend

So quiet
another wasted night
the television steals the conversation
exhale
another wasted breath
again it goes unnoticed
please tell me your just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch
out of time
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
closed lipped
another goodnight kiss
is robbed of all it's passion
your thrill
another time to slack
and leave me feeling empty
please tell me your just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch are we out of time?
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better than
maybe we'll be better than
so what's another day when I can't bear these thoughts of going on without you?
this mood of yours is temporary
it's seems worth the wait to see your smile again
out of the corner of your eye
will be the only way your looking at me then
so tired
another wasted night
the television steals the conversation
exhale
another wasted breath
again it goes unnoticed

passin the campus
kickin back in the sand in the sun
to be alive is lovin
where the shore meets the sea
man I'm hummin
I'm hummin
I'm free
as I stare at the sea
and I'm not coming down
the world is yours once you have found
what it is to share
which is elsewhere
the beauty, of green is where light is now broken
by what it touches
remembering everything you told me at home
and has it always been so?
I'm free
as I stare at the sea
and I'm not coming down
the world is yours once you have found
what it is to share
which is elsewhere.
Like I've said before, I'll say it once more
knew you could, make me feel so good
gonna do you right
can't get enough, this is the stuff
that lifes about and it trips me up
wanna do you right
bright mornings
days when I want so much
want nothing
just this life and no more
I'll come within this world
there's only one for me
she's waiting
I'll soon come
I'm free
as I stare at the sea
and I'm not coming down
the world is yours once you have found
what it is to share
which is elsewhere
free from the burn the burn the burn that's loves spite
and free from the burn the burn you did me right
no buzza, no buzza, no buzza
swing da bring, da bring oh check it out
how could you be so good to me?
how could you be so good to me?
I want to be worth it
I want to be worth it
burn heh heh heh, swing da bring to the thing oh check it out
I've said it before, I'll say it once more
knew you could, make me feel so good
gonna do you right
can't get enough, this is the stuff
that lifes about and it trips me up
wanna do you, right, I'ma do you right.

me and keegan freestyling
Kevin: I've got the fall in all the one invented
but I seem to have lost all my pride and insentive
and your not the one to call my name
cuz you other rappers are all the same
but mackdaddy is just a word
you can't follow but you do your terd

Keegan:Here we go
here we go
its the azn bustin the flow
i tryed to get sum but the bitch said no
but im not worried about that ho
well im in kevins journal
lookin at his news
well kevins usin the urinal
and in the shower singin the blues

I was thinking to myself about freestylers and I came up with this, anything that is in perenthasese are said by the 2nd person as kindof a side comment.

Step aside, to your grave, make you feel all cautious
Rhyme up then down make you feel all atrocious
(indside)Like a candy cain, make a lantern , go insane
haul it with a wooden crane
(to the end)of the road, find a ball and spit it
(into)eternity with a law invented
by the agricultural region of America
can't decide the best thing to tear it up
lost all in the lyrical
frontwards and mystirical

thankyou. that's my little diddy. To tell you the truth, I just came up with that off the top of my head, YAY TALENTED ME. I have no clue what it means so don't ask. thanks for your time

Thank God
Finally, I get to do something, I'm not wasting my time. After a large amount of begging, I finally convinced my dad to let me go snowboarding on FRESH POWDER, or atleast real powder instead of the fake stuff that they always serve up on wedensday. I just hope that Mikey get's here before my mom, but she's in Howard City so, I guess I will probably make it. If my mom were to discover me sitting in my living room, waiting for someone pick me up to go snowboarding , she'd freak out and keep me home the one week I'm grounded in my life. My dad, fortunately, is cool enough to realize that it is torture to keep someone home for two snowdays in a row, when it will probably never happen again. YES. I needed this so bad.

Why do these things happen?
yeah, I don't mean to get mallow dramatic again, but I don't understand why people can't tell me they hate me. I talk to them, but I know they avoid me.It's really weird. It's one of those "you have to be in my shoes" kind of deals so .I need posotive comments. But then again, I always get posotive comments. They never seem true. it always seems like in the end that, I'm alway begging for them , and I'm asking for them instead of getting them the his/hers own freewill. Oh well, Life goes on. And I just spilled my guts again. If I could take that blasted thing down there off of here I would. So anybody, reading this , and if you know me, and you think I'm annoying to you and you would rather me not talk to you, TELL ME!! Thankyou for you time.

Embaressment, Embaressment
I feel embarassed. I got all mellow-dramatic (excuse the spelling) about something that wasn't a big deal , yep, down about 2-3 entries I got all emotional. Now that I look at it, I find it to be really stupid. So to anybody I offended. I don't want anybody to know my name because of that one thing. Maybe I shouldn't spill my guts so often. oh well. Let Bygones be Bygones.