::
2010 6 July :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World- Always Be
How are you gonna know the feeling/ until you lost it?/ I've been losing plenty since...
Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it's easy
You can't keep safe
what wants to break
I'm alone in this
I'm a "as-I've-always-been"
Right behind what's happening
She's a "lost-in-this"
She's a light
She'll always be
a little far for me to reach
I was just a boy like every other
I thought I was something fierce
I thought i was ten times smarter
Love would be something that I just know
How are you gonna know the feeling
Until you lost it
I've been losing plenty since
Maybe something else I'm missing
Something good and you're the reason
It's a dream but there's a real world waitng
why is it that friends just make me sad? or I feel broken because I am just all alone.
In other non whining about how my friends make me depressed news... apparently August 7th we (and by we, I mean my graduating class) are having a 5 year beach party. I like how it is not really official and I am invited through facebook. Maybe I'll sit on the beach here in Kenosha staring out at Lake Michigan thinking... Wow has it really been 5 years? I don't need to go home to see all those people. Most of the people I care enough to keep tabs on are facebook friends, and I wasn't much wanted or needed 5 years ago, so I think I can wait another 5 years to go and see that crowd anyways.
Mike is thankfully enjoying his new job and left for a 24 hour trip to pick up 3 ppl to bring back to WI tomorrow.
The suck thing is that as always I am left alone.
Being a cooped up bitch must just be the life. Although, you would think with how social I can be professionally, I would have more friends. Funny how it works, that the rest of the time I am just a wall flower, with nothing and no one.
"Fear profits a man nothing,The Skin of our lives was woven by the All-Father long ago.Run from your fate if you will,hide in a hole,you will not live a moment longer.Running will only make you die tired."
ya know considering that I am 23 I should not be having petty arguments with my mom. I am so sick of being blamed for her finances I could just smack her.
I as an only child, should be able to expect some help with buying clothes. Oh wait... I had to buy my own shit in high school, why the fuck would I get help now.
I am fed up with not having appropriate clothes for the season and even more annoyed that I am constantly having to get clothes that my friends are getting rid of, and then keeping them forever, just because I constantly am unable to get any clothes for myself. I really wish I had the gumption in high school that I have now... but it's prolly good I didn't, or I would have been in a lot of fights.
I am not spoiled! I have to work for what I want/ need. And considering that everyone thinks my parents are rich just because we have a jewelry store... wake the fuck up and smell the roses. The only people who seem to buy gold these days are place who are selling it to china. And people buying 9karat or less stamped goods coming from china with.... *drumroll please*... unregulated markings!
People keep buying crap that is marked totally wrong. What happened to trade regulation, and pride in work? What happened to honesty? We are living in an era where it is so difficult to find any of the things we ought to have. Decency is gone... for the most part. I am sick of living in a world where it feels like I am the only one who cares.
What's worse is Mike doesn't even want to understand. I feel totally fucking alone. I should probably be used to that by now... since it's just about all i've felt for the last 10 years.
I feel like I've been run over by a truck
I don't care much about anything
I'm happy to sing
I'm lacking the passion to do anything
I feel like I've been run over by a truck
I don't care much about anything
So give me a ring
And tell me to wake up and do anything