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:: 2003 3 September :: 8.53 pm

Results of your
Attention Deficit Disorder Quiz



You scored a total of 67

You appear to be suffering from a moderate amount of attention and concentration difficulties according to your responses to this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, if would be advisable and likely beneficial for you to seek further diagnosis from a trained mental health professional soon to rule out a possible attention disorder.
S C O R E S If you scored...
You may have...
70 & up Adult ADD or ADHD
50 - 69 Moderate ADD or ADHD
35 - 49 Mild ADD or ADHD
25 - 34 Borderline ADD
0 - 24 No ADD likely

this doesnt surprise me at all...i know im a smart person and dont really apply myself but jus by answering the ?s it jus makes sense.



do u love life?


:: 2003 3 September :: 8.48 pm

Results of your Depression Quiz



You scored a total of 29

You appear to suffer from mild to moderate depression from your responses to this self-report questionnaire. You should not take this as a diagnosis of any sort, or a recommendation for treatment. However, you may want to look into seeking further consultation with a trained mental health professional if you are experiencing any difficulties in daily functioning or if you'd like a more in-depth answer.
S C O R E S If you scored...
You may have...
54 & up Severe depression
36 - 53 Moderate/severe depression
22 - 35 Mild to moderate depression
18 - 21 Borderline depression
10 - 17 Possible mild depression
0 - 9 No depression likely

hmmm mom had said i was depressed, but hell who wouldnt be with all the shit thats been goin on?

do u love life?


:: 2003 2 September :: 10.34 pm
:: Mood: better

rape. what a sickening word. its something that i wouldnt wish upon my worst enemy. it effects everyone. the victim is so scared and has absolutely no idea what to do. so many questions are asked and the painful memories have to be continuously revisited time and time again. this is something that is so traumatic that they will be forced to suffer with it all their lives. simple things will scare them, such as walking in a dark hallway., someone tapping them on the shoulder the wrong way...it scars them for life. but not all heartless bastards are caught. god how could someone do such a thing? heartless bastards. many tears have been shed. its been a tough weekend.

i got a car. and now i can parallel park.

ive decided to wipe the fake smile that ive had plastered to my face off. i tried to convince myself that everything was alright and by looking like it was, then i would be. but its not and i wont be for a while so i might as well get used to it. i need my rest tho. nite.

**cherish ur friends. tell ur family u luv them. ur opportunities to do so wont be there forever.**

1 people love life | do u love life?


:: 2003 31 August :: 11.25 pm
:: Mood: upset

y do i do the things i do?
a person whom i truely care about is disappointed in me. they have a good reason to be tho. sometimes i hate myself for screwing up and breaking promises to myself. its one of the worst feelings in the world.

1 people love life | do u love life?


:: 2003 31 August :: 1.11 am
:: Mood: relieved

tonite was a good nite...i was able to sort out a lot of issues that needed to be addressed. there is hope for the future.

oyea - i failed my MEAPs...which means no money for college. so now i have to take those over in addition to my ACTs.

i need to email someone so im out - latas.

2 people love life. | do u love life?


:: 2003 30 August :: 12.42 am
:: Mood: sad/reflective

ive been thinkin bout life lately and i realized that its way too short. we never know how long our life is to be and we never really take the time to make memories and smell the roses and hug our parents/friends. its much to short.
ive never liked death. i always have a hard time coping with it. memories of the times i have spend with them are both a comfort and a painful reminder that i'll never have any new memories of them. it hurts so much. some view death in a positive light; almost as a happy occurance - but it still hurts and twists at my heart. what makes it even worse is when its a friend. someone you've laughed with, cryed with, made memories with...no more though. i grieve alone.

1 people love life | do u love life?


:: 2003 28 August :: 11.46 pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: the sound of those fuckin crickets chirping...

yea i know i havent updated in a while. school's ok i guess. i think im actually gunna try this year.

oyea - and i learned several things today:
1). i tend to stick jami in the middle...which im sry for.
2). i like somebody a lot more than i thought. jus to sit and talk with him...ok i'll shup now.
3). the fact that im a cold-hearted bitch doesnt bother me.
4). that depression comes and goes as it pleases.
5). that ive decided on which tattoo(s) im getting and where
6). despite how much they can try, my parents cant control my life
7). that im not a big fan of siblings (o to be an only child...)
8). that i really need a car, license, and job
9). that four hours of grocery shopping really kills ur legs

my knee is throbbing so im out - latas.

3 people love life. | do u love life?


:: 2003 24 August :: 10.54 pm
:: Mood: ladeda

i done good on my exam. i gotta 72% on my final. and an A in the over all class. also she said that i was the only one that figured out the pattern on the true/false. i had put "true true false false true true false false". hehe that was kinda cool.

my knee hurts and i got school tomorrow so i'm out. cya.

do u love life?


:: 2003 22 August :: 1.53 pm
:: Mood: torn
:: Music: jus the sound of the washer fillin up

i went and got bloodwork done this morning. i still hate how they jab u mercilessly and then jus let the vial fill up with the dark burgandy liquid *shudders* yea i watch it. but what i found interesting was that the nurse lady (phlembotomist?) actually had tb (the germ - the same thing i have) and was only on INH for a month becuz her hair was falling out. the health department was like "well its ur choice". but she brought up a good point. we (me, her and everyone else in our situation) will always test positive for tb. so there really isnt any way for the health department to know if this shit is workin or not. so yea i dunno. mom still has the utmost faith in the electricity thing but i dunno. its kinda cool. u can actually feel the electricity going through ur body. i have an appt for it tonite at 6.

i decided to call into work sick. i was only supposed to be there from 1-4 but i jus feel funny. my left arm is reallllllly sore (which makes absolutley no sense considering it was my right arm that got stabbed). and im really light-headed. that could be cuz i havent eaten today - or taken my meds. i really need to start eating. i cant keep eating like this. im barely eating one meal a day. and its not like im anorexic or sumthin - its jus that im never hungry. i literally haveta force myself to eat. its not good. im down to 114lbs, which isnt healthy at all. but if i force myself to eat, i feel sick to my stomach so its a lose/lose situation.

i really sucked on my final. i only knew 11 questions. i called cathy and left a message on her cell but she hasnt called me back so i'll tell u what i got when i hear from her.

i met a really cool person the other night. at first he seemed kinda shy or withdrawn or sumthin. but later he opened up a lil more. he seemed pretty cool. the four of us should hang out again sumtime - it was fun.

ok here goes. im so utterly confused. i fell for this guy like a couple monthes ago and have been tryin to convince myself otherwise for the same duration. its so hard cuz once i feel that im over him, then i see him again and all those feelings come rushing back. and its not just a physical thing either. thats what makes it hurt even more. im so accustomed to not letting myself fall for guys that its just so hard. *sigh* i dont know what to do. i dont wanna get hurt. i have a hard time with committment anywaz and i dont like to trust ppl with my feelings. that makes it all the more difficult. its not that i dont trust him, its jus that i dont really trust myself. im so confused. why must this happen to me? ive never fallen for a guy this hard. never. i jus dont know what to do. i dont wanna compromise our friendship either. god i dunno.

i also found out that i need to get my license. cuz otherwise i have no way of gettin to/from school this year. thats jus one more thing for my mom to worry about. yea come to find out - both my parents are depressed tho they wont admit it. my mom hates her job, is going to school and has to worry about all us kids. my dad hates his job, wants to quit. and he has to adjust his schedule around all of us. so yea. both my parents hate their jobs and dont get to do anything that they really enjoy anymore. dont that suck? hell id be depressed to.

massage therapy starts tomorrow. 9-5 both sat and sun. that'll be fun. im takin it with my mom. all i know is that we haveta wear shorts and tank tops and bring a pillow case and sheet. im thinkin free massages. that'll be nice becuz i know we'll both need it.

but im out all. im in a laundry mood so hell im doin laundry. latas.

2 people love life. | do u love life?


:: 2003 18 August :: 2.52 pm
:: Mood: cheerful

i take a lot of things for granted. ive come to that realization after starting my meds. it took me over a month to figure that out...

less then a week till school starts. which means sleeping in class, more lovely detentions, and seein all my friends again.

only 4 more classes left (2 soc and 2 massage therapy)...isnt that a pleasant thought?

1 people love life | do u love life?


:: 2003 17 August :: 12.32 am
:: Mood: melancholy

omg...i finally finished "tuesdays with morrie" and have come to the conclusion that it is the worst book i have ever read. i absolutely hated it. the way mitch albom wrote the book made it sound like morrie was supremely special or something in that he was dying. he just kept going on and on about how this guy was dying and how he felt bad for him. morrie was one lucky bastard. there are so many people who die painful deaths all alone. morrie died with his family around him. some ppl have no one left. after i finished it i just broke down and cried. i cried for the four residents that died over the summer that i had befriended. i cried for all those who have to die alone. i just cried. and then i had questions to answer...which i did but definately not to the best of my ability. the questions were all written as if the book was a good one...it was the personal reflection section that i went all out on. *sigh* im just glad that im done with it. cuz i absolutely hated it.

and not to mention i dont feel good. i havent felt good after we went to arbys today...perhaps its because its the 4th time ive gone in the past few days. but i dunno - i dont feel good.

1 people love life | do u love life?


:: 2003 16 August :: 10.09 pm
:: Mood: chipper

random thoughts
the last few days were fun. thursday nite me and jami went swimming in lake mi...kiel joined us for a while too. it was fun - god we were so totally high on life. friday we met justin's mom...she is so much fun to talk to. her perspective and insight is almost captivating...i could just sit there and talk to her all day. we also dragged justin to the mall (he agreed to go with us but i still think we dragged him cuz im not sure he really knew what he was getting into when he agreed...) we also worked the shrimp boil for like i dunno maybe half an hour becuz the horrid stench of the shrimp was making us all nauseated...plus i didnt feel good anywaz. then we went underwear shopping and then went and talked to justin's mom somemore. it was a lotta fun.

oyea. my mom blew up at colleen at the book sale yesterday. colleen deserved it tho. a couple years ago, she asked if she could "borrow" our books for noah and nat and then she would help my mom out with books for autumn when she reached 9th grade-like if a book expired or whatever. (it would end up saving her a lotta money). keep in mind that at the time brandy and nathan were dating so it seemed like a good idea. well, colleen called like twice both times when my mom was working and when my mom tried to call her back she could never get ahold of her. so when my mom got to the book sale thursday she saw colleen and asked about our books. and colleen was like "i gave them away". my mom blew up. "u had no rite to give my books away". and colleen was like "well i called u three times". my mom was pissed. so last i knew colleen was gunna find as many as she could or whatever - im not quite sure what the deal is - i'll update more later.

we got our shirts today. one word "ewww". they only had a couple left in my size so we had to order more.

i got an idea for my presentation.

i think my boobs are growing:(

but my mom has homework so im off lata all.

do u love life?


:: 2003 13 August :: 11.38 pm

jill is the #159 most common female name.
0.142% of females in the US are named jill.
Around 181050 US females are named jill!
source namestatistics.com

do u love life?


:: 2003 13 August :: 11.01 pm
:: Mood: cheerful

random thoughts
tonite was fun. first off, me and manda had a guy strip for us on the way home. then when i got home, we played football for awhile. i think i have a black eye now but i dont really give a shit.

i kinda feel funny rite now. i didnt cheat at all yesterday but i did this morning but i dunno. i jus feel kinda funny. hmm o well.

i only have 3 more days of soc. two project days and a final. i still have absolutley nada clue as to what im gunna do for my presentation. the more creative and involving the class it is, the better the grade. but how would i go about making a fun presentation out of "age discrimination in the workforce"? yea, its beyond me. i also gotta paper to write for tomorrow. i forgot bout that.

*hechoo* sry i had to sneeze...

have u ever noticed that when u take really big pills/caplets like consecutively, it gets harder and harder to swallow?

ick, less than 2 weeks till school starts - its so gunna be a blow-off year...o wait so was last year and the year before and the year before...hehe...

i think im over him.

is yahoo down or sumthin? i tried like 4 fricken times and i cant get into my mail - ahhhhh!

im losing the battle regarding senior pix.

i have no more random thoughts - nite all.

do u love life?


:: 2003 10 August :: 7.53 pm
:: Mood: aggravated

friday nite was fun.

ever realize how much u have to adjust ur entire lifestyle when something bad (or not neccessarily good) happens? i think im beginning to adjust.

blah we still haveta present our project. so not looking forward to that...

i need a job.

i absolutely hate it when friends are depressed. i feel like there is nuthing i can do. u know who u are. i'll go with u if i can - mom says that if we're doin the project that day i cant tho. i say screw it tho - im alwaz here for ya hon.

school starts in 15 days. im sorry but "tuesdays with morrie" is just not my kind of book. its torture to read. ive done the same thing mitch is doing all summer long. its just too repetitive. too similar. its too hard.

*sigh* off to call katelyn tho. nite all.

do u love life?

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