joslyn_julia
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2010 14 July :: 5.14pm
i am feeling a bit mischievous! I wish I could come back to MI for a few days while my hubby is traveling.
And maybe I am.... oh yay!
What is your life meant to be?
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joslyn_julia
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2010 13 July :: 7.16pm
I'm sick of fighting. I am sick of headaches and I AM SICK OF CLEANING UP THE SAME MESSES! I just want to be happy and calm. Is that too much to ask for?
Why is it that I don't' ever get a break, and as soon as he comes home from work that is all he gets. It's just the same redic. shit on another fucking day. And I wonder why I don't have a portfolio at all going into my senior year... maybe if i had the time to ever be creative I wouldn't feel like such a worthless sac.
What is your life meant to be?
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jedibumblebee
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2010 10 July :: 7.53pm
:: Music: Ben Folds Five- Fair
I send my best, cause God knows, you've seen my worst...
you know when you don't listen to an album for a really long time and then you listen to it again and it's like... whoa.
i bought ben folds five- whatever and ever amen, on cd... i already have it, but it's on..umm... cassette tape.... so i haven't listened to it in a while.
<3
3 Meanings |
What is your life meant to be?
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jedibumblebee
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2010 8 July :: 9.29pm
:: Music: Ben Folds- Kalamazoo
Don't you know that I've been there too?
Ran out of time
Running my mouth
Ran up a tab and
All the way from Kalamazoo
On my way back home
I was surely stoned
Now I'm sober in my yard
Can't believe I was there
Can't believe I've been anywhere else
There was a time
Almost forgot
We had been drifting
All the way to Kalamazoo
And I said that I loved you too
All the way back home
There's an old joke
I just made up
How many of me
Would it take to screw up your life?
One to settle down
One to turn you 'round
Now I'm sober in my yard
I would say you had to be there
And I regret that you're still there
Seems like you'd be frozen
Frozen there in time
Waving your goodbye
High up to the sky
Your place on the map
Has faded away
Looks to be lost in
More that one way, Kalamazoo
Don't you know that I've been there too?
And it puts your mind more at ease
If you'd say the words of release
All the way back home
What is your life meant to be?
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jedibumblebee
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2010 7 July :: 9.29pm
i think i might have a driniking problem.........
3 Meanings |
What is your life meant to be?
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jedibumblebee
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2010 6 July :: 8.00pm
:: Mood: nostalgic
:: Music: Jimmy Eat World- Always Be
How are you gonna know the feeling/ until you lost it?/ I've been losing plenty since...
Could've been a night like any other
One of us has to drive
One of us gets to think
I'll force a laugh to break the silence
It's gonna get harder still
Before it's easy
You can't keep safe
what wants to break
I'm alone in this
I'm a "as-I've-always-been"
Right behind what's happening
She's a "lost-in-this"
She's a light
She'll always be
a little far for me to reach
I was just a boy like every other
I thought I was something fierce
I thought i was ten times smarter
Love would be something that I just know
How are you gonna know the feeling
Until you lost it
I've been losing plenty since
Maybe something else I'm missing
Something good and you're the reason
It's a dream but there's a real world waitng
What is your life meant to be?
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joslyn_julia
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2010 6 July :: 12.33pm
:: Mood: listless
why is it that friends just make me sad? or I feel broken because I am just all alone.
In other non whining about how my friends make me depressed news... apparently August 7th we (and by we, I mean my graduating class) are having a 5 year beach party. I like how it is not really official and I am invited through facebook. Maybe I'll sit on the beach here in Kenosha staring out at Lake Michigan thinking... Wow has it really been 5 years? I don't need to go home to see all those people. Most of the people I care enough to keep tabs on are facebook friends, and I wasn't much wanted or needed 5 years ago, so I think I can wait another 5 years to go and see that crowd anyways.
Mike is thankfully enjoying his new job and left for a 24 hour trip to pick up 3 ppl to bring back to WI tomorrow.
The suck thing is that as always I am left alone.
Being a cooped up bitch must just be the life. Although, you would think with how social I can be professionally, I would have more friends. Funny how it works, that the rest of the time I am just a wall flower, with nothing and no one.
1 Meaning |
What is your life meant to be?
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m&ms487
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2010 1 July :: 3.19pm
Today is the second day of my graduate class. I really like this class and I am one of four undergraduates, the others are teachers and a graduate students in creative writing.
I'm role playing Longinus tonight and I am prepared and ready to go! He is all about the sublimity of poetry and literature.
Working out is going great and I feel like a totally different person!
What is your life meant to be?
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m&ms487
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2010 25 June :: 9.24am
:: Mood: mellow
Summer Session one is done! I earned an A in biology 240 and it put my gpa up .01 to 3.77. Whateve. I start English 535 in a week and a half, but the prof already has us started with stuff. I have three days off next week and I'm sure that I'll be in the library for a while.
It's so weird to think that one year from now I could possibly be somewhere other than Michigan training for Teach for America, or I could be entering my second semester as a graduate student. Weird. Weird.
It's nice having some semblence of a day off. I don't work until six tonight, so I'm going to get up, eat, do some tae bo, bake some cookies, and just hang out with Rueben until I have to leave.
I think it might be summer now.
What is your life meant to be?
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joslyn_julia
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2010 24 June :: 8.51am
ya know considering that I am 23 I should not be having petty arguments with my mom. I am so sick of being blamed for her finances I could just smack her.
I as an only child, should be able to expect some help with buying clothes. Oh wait... I had to buy my own shit in high school, why the fuck would I get help now.
I am fed up with not having appropriate clothes for the season and even more annoyed that I am constantly having to get clothes that my friends are getting rid of, and then keeping them forever, just because I constantly am unable to get any clothes for myself. I really wish I had the gumption in high school that I have now... but it's prolly good I didn't, or I would have been in a lot of fights.
I am not spoiled! I have to work for what I want/ need. And considering that everyone thinks my parents are rich just because we have a jewelry store... wake the fuck up and smell the roses. The only people who seem to buy gold these days are place who are selling it to china. And people buying 9karat or less stamped goods coming from china with.... *drumroll please*... unregulated markings!
People keep buying crap that is marked totally wrong. What happened to trade regulation, and pride in work? What happened to honesty? We are living in an era where it is so difficult to find any of the things we ought to have. Decency is gone... for the most part. I am sick of living in a world where it feels like I am the only one who cares.
What's worse is Mike doesn't even want to understand. I feel totally fucking alone. I should probably be used to that by now... since it's just about all i've felt for the last 10 years.
3 Meanings |
What is your life meant to be?
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joslyn_julia
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2010 21 June :: 9.23am
I'm on the pursuit of happiness <3
Mike starts his new job today. And I am wishing I could have stayed in MI for at least another week.
Oh yeah... and wake up sex rocks! lol
What is your life meant to be?
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m&ms487
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2010 15 June :: 9.37am
:: Mood: calm
:: Music: Train- "If It's Love"
I finally finished the first draft of my writing sample for graduate school. It's titled _Sister, Where Art Thou?_ and is a combination of feminist criticism, feminist theory, and historical christian texts. Basically, it investigates the question of why there are so few women writers and why, when women writers do first prominently appear in literary circles in the nineteenth century, they were faced with the fracturing of their "womanly" personality and their "authorial" personality. The great thing about it is that I'm sure I can expand on it and perhaps it might be a direction for my eventual thesis.
I purchased a tae-bo dvd yesterday with the intention of attempting it this morning. I've managed to stay at the same weight since my surgery and even bought a new bathing suit yesterday-a size 12. It's definitely odd to eat, be full, and not feel like I'm going to puke. I find myself being a lot less crazy about food and it's definitely a MUCH healthier relationship. I eat what I want, when I want-but I don't eat if I'm not hungry, and I still can't eat that much because of my stomach size. I'm okay with that, though. I can eat a hotdog (with bun) or almost all of fajita size taco in one sitting. It's wonderful!
I'm editing a novel for pay this week. It's going well, and is probably something I would consider doing freelance during graduate school if I can find the work.
A Year Passes
Beyond the porcelain fence of the pleasure garden,
I hear the frogs in the blue-green ricefields;
But the sword-shaped moon
Has cut my heart in two.
-Amy Lowell, March 1917
What is your life meant to be?
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joslyn_julia
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2010 13 June :: 11.20pm
somedays i think i am cursed to always be alone... might as well start getting used to my own company
What is your life meant to be?
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jedibumblebee
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2010 11 June :: 9.12pm
I'M DRUNK and this is exciting.
the movie of my life.... paul played by jason segal... me played by amy adams.............. AWESOME.
9 Meanings |
What is your life meant to be?
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joslyn_julia
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2010 26 May :: 10.28pm
i hate that mike isn't working normal hours. i hate not being able to know when the heck he'll be home...
What is your life meant to be?
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