"you are a geek, so you would make me a jedi anyway so that you could fall in love with me
One thing, so insignificant, like a phone call, can greatly affect your entire outlook on the world. The phone rings late at night and you know who it is... it can only be one person--your first love, the one who has unalterably changed your life and left you weak and alone and perfect. I finally heard his voice again and it moved something in me that hasn't stirred for the past 6 months. His intonations and his wonderful laugh (which i am sure was accompanied by his famous and infectious smirk) gave me life again. I know he cares and that is all i can hope for. I never asked for his love in return, i silently wished and prayed for it, but it is not something i need to survive right now. It is enough to know we have something, whatever it is... it exists and that is enough for me. He has tons of girls fall all over him and kiss his feet, but he cares about me. He cared enough to let me go and he cares enough to keep in contact with me despite his girlfriend's wishes. There have been other guys, but he changed my life and for that i owe him the world. He made it okay to be me. I was enough for the world. He basically decided my entire future for me. If i hadn't met him I most likely would not even be going to Bard, although he always wanted me to go to Yale to be closer to him. If there was ever a chance of me being with him there are a few things that will need to change, some by happenstance and others by time and effort. In about a year i will be much closer to him which will make our friendship a lot easier to keep up. But more than that i will have grown up significantly; when he met me i was naive and innocent, a beautiful child. I hadn't and still haven't gone through enough life experiance to be able to be a compatible match for him. He is older, if not wiser, but certainly more jaded. One day we will meet on an equal plane, when we met it was not the time. Then he was a catalyst for my transformation into a woman and for that i am forever thankful to him. However, I know it is not over. Our continued contact leaves lingering feelings and foreshadows a future together. A future, most likely of friendship and hidden feelings on my part. I just know we have more instore. He has this way of restoring my hope in humanity and in life. I was feeling so trapped for a few days or so, but he made it alright. He makes everything seem as it is supposed to be and for that i will always love him. I will always love him, just right now it is more of a cherish and a friendship kind of love, then an undying passionate one. He cares. I care. That is enough. Plus he makes me laugh uncontrollably. <3
hey sometimes i can get that giddy school girl thing going on. lalala.

assume