orfwashere
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2004 2 January :: 2.15pm
:: Mood: optimistic
:: Music: Link80 - Killing Katie
I woke up today and decided to be optimistic. I swore to myself that this would be the year of A.J.
Two-thousand three was a horrible year for me. Everything that could have gone wrong did, and everything that could have made me depressed and feel like shit did too. So by my logic, 2004 should be just the opposite. I'm going to be graduating, and going off to college pretty soon. Just the nature of those two events should offset two-thousand three's shit-ness. I really can't wait to start college. Maybe I can make some real friends there. But back to what I was saying; to make 2004 better, I need to abide by these things I resolve to do.... that I thought of doing after New Years.....
1. Eat healthier. Pizza and french fried no longer count as lunch.
2. Go to the gym atleast three times a week. Marching band is over, so I have no excuses for not going.
3. Be nice to everyone. Especially the people I hate.
4. Talk more.
5. Play my horn atleast an hour a day. More preferrably.
6. Get a car.
7. Get a license.
8. Clean my room atleast once a week.
9. Invite people over to chill.
10. Throw a madd party.
...and I'm done.
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robbingnovember
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2004 2 January :: 12.10am
:: Mood: foolish
I believe that lovers should be chained together, thrown into a fire with their songs and letters
How could i actually believe he liked me? fuck me and my naivete. I will continue to be alone. yeahhhh go me for being so fucking unworthy
uhh this is totally unrelated but thank god Sara is home.
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robbingnovember
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2004 1 January :: 1.32am
:: Mood: amused
GAH!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't think.. i've ever made as big of a fool of myself as i did tonight. wow. If i was someone else i would laugh at me hysterically. My life is seriously a fucking sitcom. I decided i also have a phobia of kissing. Oh man am i destined to be alone.. ha. im pretty much speechless though. I think im going to stay home for awhile and read ishmael. yeahhhh this year is going to be interesting...
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robbingnovember
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2003 31 December :: 4.46pm
:: Mood: okay
We say, "How long can we take this chance not to celebrate?"
This year has been so fucking strange..
I was going to do a year end review. but eh. fuck it. I'll list the important happenings.
major events
1. Teen Cabaret performance
2. Casey + Stacey
3. Met Ryan H.
4. Mikey + Dana
5. Local shows
6. Sara and my sloowww conquest of the world.
7. Saint Patricks day party at paiges= jason
8. warped tour and buzz bake sale
9. My birthday surprise
10. meeting the boys <3
11. becoming best friends with ryan
12. Ryan + dana
13. meeting karl
14. Jew class over the summer
15. cold stones
16. Meeting the S.S.C
17. Meeting Cari
18. ending war with Mike King
19. Trivial pursuit match.. ha not really
20. becoming friends with Erika!
21. asking steven on a date.. oy
22. telling jason i liked him.. oy again
23. getting a new guitar teacher
24. getting a bit more style
25. being number 10.
26. painting gnomes
27. getting my lovely electric. sheena.
28. becoming friends with Neil
29. fun car washing party<3
... blah help me out with more events here... yeahhhh comment now because i think more things happened... yeah i think so. leave Trallions of comments if necessary. mrm
As we kiss hard on the lips
and swear this year
will be better then the last
Fuck lost bets. Damn ping pong.
anywayyys
Resolutions
1. practice guitar ( a lot) more
2. be more confident
3. eat healthy
4. be stylish.. more so
5. be honest and a good person
6. write songs.. get together the band and practice
7. throw caution into the wind!
8. be more organized
9. try to make burkus a common saying
10. stand up straight
11. try to be more laid back
12. be content
13. make new friends
14. kiss someone dammit
15. learn how to drive
wow thats way too many.. i had some good ones but i forgot many of them. i really hope tonight is fun. i think it will be. yay ryans house. eh this entry sucks. oooh the suckiness. yeahhhhh!!!!
[Ten seconds left
until midnight
nine chances to drown ourselves
in black hair dye
eight faces turned away
from the shock
seven windows and six of them
were locked
five stories falling
forever and ever
three cheers to the mirror
now there are two of us
can we have one last dance? ]
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orfwashere
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2003 31 December :: 12.46pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: Chick Corea
Another sad new years..
I dont have anyoen to chil with tonite. It's cool though. I'm getting used to being lonely, and not having any real friends. I spent all of last week in New Jersey. I wish I was still back there. I felt wanted there. I had an awesome time at a TCNJ party. Bent beyond belief. Fun shit. I came back on Sunday. Had nothing to do. I've done nothing but play Vice City. Awesome Christmas present. I'm rambling. This post is pretty worthless. Like me. Well I'm out.
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plainmornings
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2003 30 December :: 4.00pm
being 18 rocks.
i'm slowly becoming addicted to scratch off lotto tickets. Poor, Very Poor.
been working like cray-z but gregory works con me so its all gravy.
saw mona lisa smile, i liked much. saw elf con sr. Selinsky, that was fun.
still have 80bazillion people to see and soooo little time :0(
Ms. Jennifer slept over last night, we talked till almost 5 (and i work up at like 2)
ummmm saw my favorite Soy guy & talked Vonnegut (whitney i have to show you the post)
ummmm saw Big Ben & his crazy MIT friends.
Dennys for some raw chicken.
leaving on Jan 1st sooooooo everyone has to hang out before then!
oh yeah... heidi, alex & dom came to visit yesterday <3
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bocaheath05
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2003 30 December :: 12.58pm
:: Mood: hungry
I haven't updated in such a long time! Well to let everyone know, I'm back from the cruise, and it was pretty fun. I'm so grateful about living in Boca as opposed to some of those countries the cruise visited, such as Honduras and Panama. I finally know how the locks work - haha Amy . I read an amazing book, " She's Come Undone". Tomorrow is New Years Eve, I'm going to a party with some family friends.
I am totally free all of break.....call the cell or IM me to make plans if you want, cause my life is B-O-R-I-N-G!!
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robbingnovember
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2003 29 December :: 1.51pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: eve 6
To live would be an awfully big adventure
the kind of person i want to be: kind, intelligent, happy, laid back, loyal, friendly, sweet, insightful, understanding, stable, wonderful, interesting, unique, cool, happy, inviting, warm, infectious, likeable, courageous, nonchalant, caring, loving, touchy, tender, fashionable, capable, knowledgable, musical, talented, artistic, creative, silly, funny, fun, exciting, spontaneous, well-read, scholarly. empathetic, optimistic, learned, trendsetting, alternative.. [if i think of anything i will add more]
i am trying to shape the future me so that i can be happy or something like that.
things i want to do before i die
1. love and be loved
2. kiss said person who i love and loves me
3. have sex
4. learn how to drive
5. learn how to bikeride
6. learn how to iceskate
7. write a real song
8. write a real poem
9 paint something beautiful
10. change someone's life for the better
11. live in england
12. visit 6 continents (minus antarctica)
13. be told i am incredible, beautiful, irresistable, ravishing and or stunning and have the person mean it
14. Try to make a buchingham palace gaurd laugh
15. have a messy burn down the house relationship
16. get a record deal
17. perform in a nightclub
18. do real karaoke
19. strip (<-- ha)
20. design and create my own outfit
21. learn to dance
22. visit the peter pan fountain in england
23. Visit the louvre (spelling?!?!)
24. Write a book.. preferably fictional
25. be a model in some type of ad
26. be on tv
27. be in a movie.. even as an extra
28. date an rockstar
29. perform at rock the river or something to that extent
30. Win a talent show
31. receive blood red roses
32. graduate highschool
33. go to UF
34. Live in California
35. Visit Boston
36. Learn to play guitar.. better
37. Learn to play harp
38. be on oprah.. or another talk show
39. exercise regularly
40. live in an apartment with one of my best friends
41. shopping spree
42. have my fortune read
43. cut my hair short with side swept bangs
44. get a tattoo
45. motivate someone
46. get married
47. get a job
48. buy a nice house
49. steal a lawn gnome
50. make a television show for cable access tv
51. party like it's 1999
52. run a mile in under 6-7 minutes
53. do a marathon
54. give blood
55. make a difference
56. get rid of my acne
57. do a road trip
58. visit civil war sites and collect stuff
59. parasail
60. kiss someone in the rain
61. stay all night on the beach from sunset to sunrise
62. "try an unusual fruit drink" haa not really
63. ask someone out and have it work
64. have a good day
65. learn to hustle
66. sing at a wedding
67. be a maid of honor
68. say something memorable
69. learn how to be a photographer
70. learn another language.. ex. hebrew
71. visit israel
72. Learn as much as i can
73. love as much as i can
74. be happy
... im sure there is more.. but this is good for now. yeahhhh this is me being hopeful
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robbingnovember
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2003 22 December :: 1.02pm
:: Mood: disturbed
i am definately getting myself into a pickle... yes a pickle. the end
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plainmornings
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2003 20 December :: 1.01pm
thank you to everyone who made my birthday wonderful <3<3<3
can't believe i'm 18!!
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OrFwAsHeRe
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2003 20 December :: 12.15am
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: Lagwagon
She was standing there, looking like her world had just been crushed.
She was cute. The cutest sad girl I've ever seen.
I enjoyed your company.
You enjoyed mine.
I walked away from you.
She was sitting behind us.
I had never went up to a girl I did not know and introduced myself.
I made that my plan.
She was sad.
You were singing happily.
Your shirt was cute.
Her shirt said "peace".
You love to fight.
I am passive.
I sat down next to her, with two feet between us.
I looked at her.
She looked back.
I smiled.
She smiled.
I am very shy.
I could tell that she was too.
I exchanged glances with her.
She exchanged glances with me.
You were starting to get lonely by yourself.
I worked up enough nerve to go talk to her.
She was waiting for me to say something.
I was just about to say "hi", what I had done with my eyes and smiles I could now imitate with my lips.
You sat down between me and her.
You were smiling like I wanted her to.
I could have brightened her day.
I could have gotten over my fear.
You put your head on my shoulder.
She knew something was up.
She walked away more distraught than before.
Her world was now even more crushed.
She was now infront of us.
She couldn't see what we were doing.
She didn't want to see.
Her heart was broken even more.
You kissed me.
I kissed you back.
I felt guilty.
I made your night.
I was your perfect guy.
I wanted to be her perfect guy.
I made you happy.
You were the wrong person.
I could have been her world.
She could have been mine.
She was gone.
She was no longer in my sight.
She did not want to be.
You ruined it.
I could have been happy.
She could have been happy.
I looked happy.
You were happy.
But I was empty inside.
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bocaheath05
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2003 18 December :: 8.13am
Hello to all, this will be my last entry for a while because I am going on a cruise, thats right, a cruise.
This morning I woke up to my brother walking noisly around the hose, so when I go into the kitchen to see my dad he's like " Did you get mom or Brandon anything?" and I hadn't so said and he makes this mean face and is like but you had time to buy all your friends gifts? and now I feel liike shit, so CONGRATULATIONS dad, for ruining my morning!
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robbingnovember
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2003 8 December :: 4.52pm
:: Mood: quixotic
:: Music: something corporate
Brad has walked in the rain on a number of occasions. "Fuck umbrellas," he says. "My life is cold and damp, regardless."
For someone so messed up i really only want one simple thing. I want love, or something like it. yeah, maybe highschool love is crap, but they seem so happy. Sometimes i see people and when they look at eachother, well it is enough to make a bitter loser like myself feel happy for them. Yeah sometimes i feel. I just want someone to look at me like that.
bah this will definately be continued when i get back from jamba juice
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plainmornings
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2003 4 December :: 10.31pm
i really hate this feeling.
people are envious of me... i really don't know why.
if people like me, want to be my friend then why do i always feel so alone
i constantly find myself watching friends joking around, making plans... i used to have that.. if this is what everythings being reduced to by growing up then i don't know if i really want to...
16 day. 16 days until i turn 18. thats 2 weeks and 2 days.
i don't know.
i'm a dreamer... i've always held such high hopes and aspirations and .. i don't know.
i can't seem to get excited about anything anymore... is that bad?
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robbingnovember
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2003 30 November :: 7.20pm
you see.. I'd like to rot in hell, but i don't believe in it. funny.
funny also, how im blamed entirely for things that aren't soley my fault.
my weekend has gone down the tubes fast, but i really shouldn't have expected any differently. that is my life as we know it. i'm back where i started alone and depressed. eh nothing to do about it. so eh.
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