::
2009 20 February :: 12.16pm
:: Mood: contemplative
why??
-because for people like you and me, there are no real friends.
there are no perfect relationships.
and there are no right decisions.
-because there is not a good enough reason not to.
there is no eternal bliss and there is no perpetual punishment.
-because there is never happiness on the other side.
there are only fantasies that fit well inside your mind and never come to fruition.
-because we must fight off our demons every single day just to be happy.
and things weren't the way we thought they would be.
-because i'm trying, i really am.
and when i smile it's real, and when i hurt it isn't.
-because people like you and me, we need each other.
just to stay alive, and just to feel less alone.
-because there is no such thing as loneliness
there is nothing to keep us here and nothing to make us go.
every place is my prison.
and it always ends like this.
::
2009 5 February :: 3.23pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: Super Mario Brothers Tune
Life/Fire/Wreck.
Holy smokes, un update from Rachel. And, assuradely, one that will take forever for me to type.
So, on December the 6th, my van that I was driving (which was totally my parents') caught on fire, along with my friggin house. So I lost like two hundred dollars of emergency cash, all my school books (worth $450) and a ton of other stuff. So I moved in with Grandma and Grandpa and used their van (I assure you I was getting good at driving those stupid things). Then on the 12th of December, Grandma sent me to get us all some lunch before I went to work.
I met a tree. lol I drove straight into it and I haven't a reason as to why. I split open my left knee cap on the dash, nine inches across and two inches up it, shatterring my patella. I broke a piece off the end of that femer, blew the middle of it out, and broke the top of it next to my hip socket.
On my right leg, I dislocated the hip, fracturing the socket and breaking off a chip of it. Later they found a fracture under the knee cap in my tibia.
Left arm: Friggin broke both the radius and the ulna.
Right arm: Blew out the middle of the humerous, and broke the radius in a spiral break next to my elbow.
They salvaged 2/3 of my knee cap, holding it together with three screws and two pieces of wire. Stuck a titanium rod in my femur and humerous. Metal plates screwed to the other breaks in my arms, one that curves around my right elbow, which might have to be taken out in six months, and the rod in my humorous might be taken out in a year.
I had hip precautions so I didn't pop it out and I could only put 50 percent of my weight on it, so when I stepped I had to divide the weight up between my arms and the right leg with my walker.
However, to-friggin-day I saw my surgeon and he said I was doing so good I could go ahead and nix the walker and go to a cane when I felt comfortable doing so. I wasn't even supposed to be able to walk yet so I'm totally kicking ass on this.
The only other problem I had was I have Radial Palsey, where the radial nerves i my right hand/arm whatever, suffered so much damage they shut down on me. I'm getting them back, some movements quicker than other, but still. Like I couldn't even raise my arm of my wrist and now my fingers are just like uncordinated, and I can't do a thumbs up either. But some of that is due to weakness from not using it.
I was in Cox Hospital for 18 days, and in Select Specialty Hospital for 28 days, a total of 46 days. Ugh. I don't know when I can go back to work, but Social Security is giving me disability so I can pay my bills, luckily. I just found that out today, actually, so that was awesome.
Aaaaanyways. That's what's up.
<3 and miss everyone!!!
::
2008 10 November :: 9.39am
:: Music: The Ladie's Man
So much for things looking up for me.....
Because now I'm doing absolutely fantastic. =] This situation is turning out to be so much better than I could have imagined, and it's nothing like I've ever had before. It's all so new to me, and I'm not sure how to react sometimes, but I wouldn't change a thing. =D
::
2008 4 November :: 10.26am
:: Music: Coldplay - Politik
Look at earth from outer space
Everyone must find the place
Give me time and give me space
Give me real, don't give me fake
Give me strength, reserve control
Give me heart and give me soul
Give me time give us a kiss
Tell me your own Politik
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Give me one, cause one is best
And in confusion, confidence
Give me peace of mind and trust
And don't forget the rest of us
Give me strength, reserve control
Give me heart and give me soul
Wounds that heal and cracks that fix
tell me your own politik
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Just open up your eyes
And give me love over, love over, love over this
And give me love over, love over, love over this