you know you've got everybody fooled

:: 2004 29 March :: 5.44pm
:: Mood: hurting
:: Music: "Julia" - Horrorpops

Time's fun when you're having flies! - Kermit the Frog
Hey everyone, I'm a tad sick and I can't get the awful taste of sickness out of my mouth. It's disgusting, it's kind of like spoiled milk that was poured down some fat hairy plumber's buttcrack. Lovely imagery, eh?
My knee hurts like a mother. I don't know what I did to it, but it has been killing me all day. I don't have too much to say so I will have to keep this short and sweet. Ta-ta.

7 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2004 28 March :: 4.54pm

MOTHER OF MERCY
God, I wish I was thinner. I truely think that I would be happier if I was thinner. I bought this really cute black and red polka-dot Dickies little dress last night and IT DOESN'T FIT ME. And it's an XL too. *shakes fist* It was so cute too.
I've tried to diet and exercise, but I lack the discipline and commitment. I wish there was an easier way. I need to stop being so lazy. I dread summer.

:: 2004 28 March :: 1.50pm

Why, children, WHY?
A girl from my school's and I's conversation:
Keep in mind that before all this she was even ashamed to say hello to me in the hallways because of the way I looked.

lhottguys: hey
DruggedUpHooker: hi
lhottguys: watz up
DruggedUpHooker: nothing much, whats up with you?
lhottguys: sare
lhottguys: i turned 14 yesterday and my cousins are ova here and i got 187 $
lhottguys: i mean 177
DruggedUpHooker: cool :-) lucky
lhottguys: i know im gonna buy a pair of freak pants
lhottguys: the ones that are really wide at the bottom if my mom lets me
DruggedUpHooker: you mean flares?
lhottguys: yes
DruggedUpHooker: flares are hippie pants hehe
lhottguys: ok

ATTACK OF THE KILLER LABELS!

& you can't save me

:: 2004 28 March :: 12.24pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: The Birthday Massacre

Mary Is My Homegirl
Hey guys, I haven't updated this in a couple of days. Mainly because nothing much has happened. My friend spent the night on Friday, yesterday I went to the mall and to eat out, ect. And today I have no idea what I'm going to do. I have a terrible cold that is bugging the hell out of me. At least my headache went away. Oh yeah, I finally redyed my hair. It's nice and black again, not brown with the occasional black streak which made me resemble a skunk. Anyways, see you all later, goodbye.

:: 2004 26 March :: 5.28pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: way away -- yellowcard

im so bored and tired and lonely and yea

"how it feels to be alone and not believe anything"

kait nd jenn were here for awhile nd my microwave door was open and jenn hit her head and it was sooo completely funny...
so yeah...

joe nd gibby's band might get a record deal!!! omg!!! they were in gibby's garage with the door open practicin nd people were like gatherin around nd listenin nd some guy worked for a company or whatever nd hes like yo maybe u guys could come into the studio nd so theyre gunna go in either tomorrow or april 13th jenn wasnt sure which one but OMG! i was like whooa this is big...

JENRIZ119 [5:13 PM]: no prob olive bob... ok now dun tell no1
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [5:13 PM]: i wont olive rob

rofl

we're olives!!! haha

so like, yeah, lorraine wanted me to come to bens cuz her nd joe nd gibby r there cuz she went to hear em play... but i was like no... i wanna hear them play but theres no way i can get outta the house... grr...

im gunna go change my icon... bye...

& you can't save me

2 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2004 25 March :: 7.57pm

"i'd give it up for just one more day with you"

:: 2004 25 March :: 7.26pm

oy im like even more upset now then i was before... rob's daughters/wife were @ maryjo's today when i went to see courtney... nd with all the stuff i've been seeing lately bout 9/11 it didnt help that every time i looked at katie i flashed back to when she asked me when daddy was coming home...

& you can't save me

2 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2004 25 March :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: miles apart... yellowcard

yellowcard is a great band... a big fat grrrr to kelli cuz yellowcard's comin to her town...

i hate these people but angie martinez nd jay-z were down my block yesterday... cool? i dunno i guess...i didnt think so but other people did... cuz the world is filled with posers...

i had a really bad day yesterday... things from 9/11 kept popping up everywhere... i almost started crying in one of my classes yesterday cuz we had a really long discussion about it nd i almost cried cuz it had such a big effect on me... no one but people in ny and in pa know what that day was like...like, last year i told ash it was hard for me nd she told me they had an assembly and stuff but she really didnt seem like she understood what it was like... nd i mean, its not really her fault... i just hit us so damn hard... i hate that day soo much... and not even the talk in class came up about that... i was on the website for stsaviour nd a memorial page came up nd i saw rob's name there cuz his cousins used to go there... and i started to cry... i miss him... and i think about how hard it must be for sheila... and for emma nd katie to grow up without a dad... i wish my mom had let me go to his funeral... but i was only 11 she thought unless the funeral was for a close relative i shouldnt be going to funerals yet... that day makes me feel so empty...

it was such a bad day for everyone in the city... that day, mrs batista was tellin us that this girl melissa was in our class and i just thought omg... both of her parents worked in the towers.... they're ok... but i cant imagine what it was like for her, not knowing if her parents were alive or not! i was almost in tears cuz my dad works only a few blocks away from the site... i didnt know how far the damage had spread.. i mean, my dad saw the planes hit really close... id go crazy if i kept seeing the images flash through my mind....

i didnt really understand it on that day... i didnt cry that day... and then the next year i was hysterical... and now i cant even make it until the 3rd anniversary without crying about it... i changed so much since then... it has so much more of an impact on me now than it did when it happened... i hate thinking about it... i had no one to talk to last night... i didnt like it... i told brenna nd she didnt say anything nd i told ash nd she signed off so yeah.... everyone else was @ the basketball game i couldnt go to cuz i had to finish my science project that was due today...

i gotta go...

GOD BLESS AMERICA

2 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2004 22 March :: 4.18pm
:: Mood: dreading
:: Music: White Zombie

Siren
*strokes pretty new background*
Yes, my pretties, for once in about 142424242 months I CHANGED the almighty Eric Griffin background to this lovely Dope Stars Inc. one. Lovely, eh?
Anyway, I can already tell that this is one of those weeks that I don't want to happen. Nothing to look forward to, the same old crap happening everyday, blah blah blah. I guess I'll just have to tough it out. *slaps on football gear*
In the time span of 24 hours the new dog has (a) pooped on the rug in the bathroom, (b) pooped and peed in the kitchen and living room, and (c) puked all over the couch. Oh yeah, and they decided on a name. Layla. It's a nice name, but I wanted to name her Jade. *stabs* Oh well.
God, I'm rambling today, aren't I? I guess I shall leave you all with that. Love you all, I bid farewell. *waves handkerchief in the wind*

:: 2004 21 March :: 11.18pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: My Ruin

Beauty Fiend
Well, Emily's party thingy was fun. We didn't really....do much. We sat around on her computer and she bombarded me and Stacie with pictures and then we went downstairs and watched The Evil Dead and House of 1000 Corpses. We got ANOTHER dog. It's a black lab-german shepard mix. It doesn't have a name yet, but it's a girl. That makes us five dogs now. Geez.

Now leaving you with.....TIGER ARMY MOOHA.

:: 2004 21 March :: 7.57pm

SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [4:43 PM]: hold on! im doing my investigating
JENRIZ119 [4:43 PM]: lmaoo... kristen, private eye

haha... jenn didnt know who someone was nd i knew what school she went to just didnt know her name and stuff but the girl knows john so she calls john while im investigating... OMG! some chick picks up his cell and goes "heeheeheeheehee... john!!! stop it!!! heehee.. hellooo? heeheeheehee john cut it out!!!" i fell out of my chair when she told me...i was laughinn so hard...and then i was doinn twisties in my hair nd my mom was really pissed cuz i hadnt started my science project yet which im doing now so half my head is in twisties, the back is in a ponytail and so is the other side lol... i look soo sexy =]~ anyway... i saw tim and joe and conor and spaz and tom whalen at park today playin basketball n matt ((thomas's lil brother)) got really mad at tim cuz tim said told me that matt's got a crush on me lol nd he was chasing tim around until tim hid behind me but i ran away so matt could get tim and yea... then i played softball lol... ANYWAY!!!

hold on gotta do SOMETHING for science or mom will get suspicious... ooh big word =]

ok done with that... well sort of... lol... ok so anyway i slept for the first time in about 48 hours last night... yes it felt good... i slept til 12... i dont think ive ever done that... my dad and my brother are so god damn LOUD when they talk!!! it drives me crazyy!!! either they're yelling or we have to go somewhere early... shit i didnt go to mass today... anyway i would have slept longer but mom woke me up... why, i do not know...

i wanna leave my school soooo bad... i'll miss my friends but everything else about the school is so so so so so sickening i hate it soo much i cant wait to get out of there!!! ahh! hmm im in the mood for a really really long entry like the one kelli wrote the other day... wow kelli... i still havent read it all lol... i'll do that when im done here...

alias is on tonight!!!! dixon's kids r gunna get kidnappered!!! ::gasp!!!:: first his wife gets blown up into a million pieces by francie's evil clone and now his kids are taken... haha that sounded funny didnt it..

michael vartan is HOTT

I'm Just A Kid -- Simple Plan
I woke up it was 7
I waited 'till 11
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think I�ve got a lot of friends
But I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone
When you're spending everyday on you own
And here it goes

I'm just a kid
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid
I know that its not fair
Nobody cares
Cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me tonight

And maybe when the night is dead
I�ll crawl into my bed
I�m staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time
I had good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes

What the hell is wrong with me?
Don�t fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever

Tonight I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause I�m just a kid tonight

normally i dont like them but that song describes me sooo completely well i cant help but love it!

i cant find my mascara... i think i left it at kellys...

ali stole my red mix.... grrr!!! ok well actually she didnt steal it veronica thought her cd case was mine but whatever... i bet you a hundred bucks shes listened to it 697201 times... but u know what i dont care cuz i have her pillow

dont ask

im finishing my hair now... i know what ur thinkin... how do you finish your hair while ur typing... well... thats a very good question i dont know...its done thoughh... yea... anyway... i just took a shower...

ashleys been around for awhile lately... yay!

im so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears...

woot woot!!! yellowcard... ooooh yeaah baby love that cd to deathhh... im gunna listen to story of the year after yellowcard... cuz those two bands are the best bands in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

how it feels to be alone and not believe...anything

ali is soooooo pissing me off... first she hangs up on me, then shes on her moms sn nd IMs me and i ask her whats up w/hangin up on me and she signs off and i ask her again later when she signs onto her sn and she doesnt answer then either... grrrr... and my dads on the phone... wait... i have a cell... crap i forgot... good one kris...

well anywayys i have go dry my hair... cuz i dont want the twisties looking all messed up... kelli i cant read ur journal now sorrry lol i will when im done with my hair... BYE!!!!

//dont do anything to make a friend you really care about mad... its a sucky feeling once they are\\

6 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2004 20 March :: 2.31pm

RAWR
EDIT: Due to the immense size of the picture, I changed the image to a link. Can't let my pretty background go to waste, now can I? *insert evil laughter here*

I finally got my pictures back MOOHA. Or, found out how to work them, rather. Here's one though cause I still haven't uploaded them all to my server or whatever.
"http://blacktears844.250free.com/024_21A.JPG"
That's me in a little Mexican resteraunt....thingy we went to. I got sick of their food. *kills*
Anyways, more pics up later, see you all.

3 not real | & you can't save me

:: 2004 19 March :: 4.15pm

Well I finally started uploading my pictures from the Kodak Picture CD....thing. It's taking forever. All I have is about 15542757454545454542 more seconds to go. *sits back and relaxes* Yep, it's going to be a loooong time. *crickets chirp* Anyways, I look horrible in the pictures considering I don't have much makeup on, so be prepared. But I'm a picture WHORE, so I shall post them, mooha! Anyways, Emily's party thingy is tomorrow, I have to get her either a Dropkick Murphys or a Sex Pistols shirt.

Damn her. I want her fucking looks.