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2004 14 January :: 9.58pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: announcments on the radio
nichole & i presented our algebra project today- it was crap. we worked hard on it, and it still turns out like junk. what the hell. somethings wrong with that picture. i don't even know anymore..
in child development i get the baby tomorrow! i'm actually excited, but scared because what if i drop it or something? i don't know what i'll do. it'll hurt my grade :( and i have at least a 98% in there. damn. i know i'll do a good job. i'm bringing it home for the night for 10 bonus points. hell yeah.
i guess jim's home phone is disconnected- which really pisses me off. he should have called me- he has friends houses to go to. he can call me from other places. all i have to say is he better call me, or see hell raised.
[edit:] i have $55.00 for jims birthday present, only a couple hundred more to go.
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2004 13 January :: 8.53am
[x] Part 1 -- The Basics [x] | What's your name? ::: | Shanon | Birthplace ::: | Rutland, Vermont | Age ::: | *almost* 14 | Age you act ::: | some people say I act "mature" but i'm not really sure how old | Current location ::: | Ft.Myers, Florida | Eye color ::: | blue | Hair color ::: | brownish __ -? | Right, lefty or ambidextrous? ::: | Lefty | Zodiac sign? ::: | Aquarius | Height? ::: | 5'8" or 5'9" | [x] Part 2 -- Describe... [x] | Your heritage/nationality ::: | wh1te g1rl ..lol | Your hair ::: | brown and medium length | Your fears ::: | rollercoasters and snakes | Your perfect room ::: | ..? Not sure ?.. | What you practically do in a day ::: | school, hw, go online, eat, sleep | [x] Part 3 -- What is/are... [x] | Words you overuse ::: | like | Phrases you overuse ::: | what's up | Your first thought when you wake up ::: | "why does there have to be school today?" | Your greatest accomplishment ::: | i'll let you know when I have one | Something you want to do ::: | sky dive | [x] Part 4 -- This or that [x] | Pepsi or Coke ::: | Pepsi | McDonald's or Burger Kings ::: | McDonalds | Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera ::: | Christina Aguilera | Chocolate or vanilla ::: | Chocolate | Adidas or Nike ::: | Adidas | Black or white ::: | Black | Bills or Coins ((Think $$$)) ::: | Bills | Burgers or hot dogs ::: | Burgers | Egypt or France ::: | France | Rock or rap ::: | Rock | [x] Part 5 -- Do you...[x] | Smoke ::: | Nope | Cuss ::: | Occasionally | Sing well ::: | Don't think so | Sing in the shower ::: | Sometimes | Talk to yourself --a lot-- ::: | No | Believe in yourself ::: | Sure don't | Like taking these longass surveys? ::: | Yup | Play an instrument ::: | Nawwww | Want to go to college? ::: | Mhm | Want to get married? ::: | I guess | Want to have children? ::: | Not really | Think you're a health freak? ::: | Not in the least | Get along with your parents ::: | Sometimes | Get along with your siblings? ::: | Pfft...Yeah right | Think you're popular ::: | I don't know, and it doesn't matter to me | [x] Part 6 -- In the past month have you..[x] | Gone out of state ::: | No | Drank alchohal ::: | Na | Smoke ::: | Nope | Get high ::: | Naww | Done any drugs ::: | Nah | Eaten an entire box of oreos ::: | Not that I can remember | Been on stage ::: | Yup | Gone skinny dipping ::: | No | Been dumped ::: | Naw | Dyed your hair ::: | No | Stolen anything ::: | Nope | [x] Part 7 -- Your friends! =D [x] | Craziest ::: | Lindsay | Loudest ::: | Courtney | Most shy ::: | Geoff | Blondest ::: | CHELSEA | Smartest ::: | Robin | Kindest ::: | Tina | Best personality ::: | Tina | Most talented ::: | Marell..? | Best singer ::: | I don't know | Most ghetto ::: | Kirsten | Drama Queen ((or King XP)) ::: | Victoria | Pain in the ass ::: | Veronica | The one you just want to strangle to death ((Homer Simpson style))::: | Michael G. | Funniest ::: | David | Best person for advice ::: | Tina | Dependable ::: | Tina | Trustworthy ::: | Tina | Druggie ::: | Brandi | Most likely to end up in jail ::: | Brandi | Person you've known the longest ::: | Jessica Utley | [x] Part 8 -- The Last... [x] | Last dream ::: | I'm not sure | Last nightmare ::: | Not sure? | Car ride ::: | Sunday night | Last time you cried ::: | Yesterday | Last movie seen ::: | The ring | Last movie rented ::: | 28 days later | Last book read ::: | Harry Potter 4 | Last word said ::: | Damn | Last curse word said ::: | Damn | Last time you laugh ::: | drama class yesterday | Last phone call ::: | I TRIED to call Tina lastnight | Last CD played ::: | Dido * | Last song you listened to ::: | White Flag | Last annoyance ::: | That I can't find "them" | Last IM ::: | Michael earlier... | Last weird encounter ::: | Hm.. | Last person you hugged ::: | Chelsea..oh wait...Robin | Last person you yelled at ::: | Amanda | Last time you wore a skirt ::: | PSSSH I DONT KNOW | Last time you've been evil ::: | Yesterday..hehe | Sarcastic? ::: | Yesterday | Last time you fought with your parents ::: | Lastnight | Last time you wished upon a star ::: | a lonnnnggg time ago | Played Truth or Dare ::: | hahahahah SATURDAY | Spent quality time alone ::: | Sunday? I don't know | [x] Part 9 -- I swear this is the last one! -- Randomness [x] | Are you talking to someone on AIM ::: | No | Do you feel lonely ::: | Not really | Ever TP'd someone's house ::: | no | How about egging someone's house ::: | yes | Do you not like dislike not like me? ::: | Huh no? | Ain't Eminem and 50 Cent just fine? ::: | Sure | Yo Momma ::: | David says this so i'm going to "Can we get off the your moms, cus I just got off yours" | Ever been so hungry you felt like you could eat the person next to you? ::: | No | What do you think of George Bush? ::: | Idiot | Any secret fetishes? ::: | Haha ;-) | Do you like to wear chains? O_o ::: | um... | How many languages do you speak? ::: | 1 | Damn.. are your fingers tired? Cause mine sure are! ::: | No | Glad this is over? ((Say yes and I'll stalk you XP)) ::: | Yes |
Bored? ((Over 100 questions)) brought to you by BZOINK!
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2004 12 January :: 11.19pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: staind - so far away
nichole & i have to present our algebra project tomorrow. i went over her house tonight for about an 1 1/2 hours. we made the rest of the signs we needed, and practiced our skit we made up. [it's actually neat.] i do have to say- i did a good job on my poster i made for it. jim helped too.
jim went home tonight.. i miss him already though. it's hard having him over here for almost 2 weeks straight and then him just leaving like that. i got used to him being here everyday when i got home from school. it sucks.
in child development we get to carry around the fake-babies. yay. [sarcasm] i chose to bring it home and take care of it for a full 24 hours. so jim's gonna come over and help. in case it cries in the middle of the night or something he'll be up, so he'll take care of him.
nothing is really going on in my life. it doesn't suck as much as i used to think it did though- but i don't know, it's jims fault. he makes me happy :-D
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2004 7 January :: 6.59pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: lit - my own worst enemy
immaturity
i slept in this morning, woke up at 6:30, and i catch the bus at 6:45.. hmm lets just say that i rushed. i didn't miss the bus, so i wasn't late for school or anything.
i'm sitting here in my pajamas, jim is playing his playstation game again for about the 5th time. i don't know how he plays over and over again. the same game. but he's weird. thats why i love him so much.
so many people are immature in my school- it makes the whole school look bad. and it just makes their peers look even worse to some people. today i was sitting in 8th period english, and we're reading shakespeare. one of our vocabulary words was "blunt" yeah all of the pot-heads in our class were like "hahahaha it says blunt, i know what THAT means!" ... can you be anymore stupid or immature? yeah it's okay to joke around about that, i wouldn't care.. but they kept going on and on about it. what the hell? i kept thinking about how i'll be out of that school in a little bit, then i can be away from people like them then i realized there are people like them everywhere, and no matter where i go, or what i do.. i'll never get away. that is scary to think about.
my mom made a good dinner tonight, some sorta mac&cheese thing with different kinds of cheese, ham, carrots & broccoli. it was good.
i dread school tomorrow.
xx.jena
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2004 4 January :: 6.45pm
:: Mood: contemplative
:: Music: fuel - untitled
some plans
so for my 16th birthday party i'm having a little party or whatever. my mom & i made out a list of people. we have exactly 46 friends/family that i'm going to invite- unless we think of more or whatever.. since my birthday is on jan. 27th, we're going to have the party on the 31. (the last day of jan.. how exciting! haha) so yeah, it'll be fun. i'll get some great pictures from it.
it's back to school tomorrow. damn.
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2004 4 January :: 12.46am
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: fuel - shimmer
nothing new
nichole came over today around 2, we did our algebra report due on monday.. i didn't think we'd get it done; because i'm a huge procrastinator.. but we did. and i'm glad. i think we're still going to make hand outs and/or crossword puzzles. we took her home at 7, came back then jim plugged in his playstation for me i beat the resident evil 2 (Leon Disk 1) then we talked for a bit, and now he's playing test drive 6.
school starts back on monday, and i'm used to going to bed at around 5 in the morning.. errr- that sucks. i'm having my mom get me up at 9:30. if i will actually get up.. i'll try.
mario came home (from over-seas) on new years eve. i'm so happy.
nothing else to say.
xx.jena
oh yeah, my new years resolution: LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!
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2003 27 December :: 5.21pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: the clarks - the river
wtf
okay, the littlest things piss me off anymore.
jim finially called me last night for the first time in 2 days. so i was really pissed off at him. all we did practicly was fight the whole time we were on the fone. --and we haven't fought for a long time-- and i told him that i thought we needed time off; and he said okay. and i said okay, then hung up. he called back probably 5 times, i didn't answer. he didn't call back again for about 5-6 minutes or so.. and i answered. i was crying, blah blah blah, no one cares. now we're okay.
i'm glad to.
so far my break has been nothing but shit. no one has come over, i really haven't gone anywhere; and jim hasn't even stayed over. which pisses me off even more. i guess he's coming over tonight [*i'll update later, to tell if he does actually come over*]
i've been sitting around the house all day doing jack shit. watched my dvd's like 50 times each. i'm just bored out of my skull. so i went out into the kitchen my mom was making a pizza or whatever- and she had peperoni sitting out and i went to pick it up [I WASN'T GOING TO EAT IT] and my mom like grabbed it off me, and i was like "i'm not going to eat it" and shes like "i know" and continues to grab it off me. wtf? that pissed me off so bad.
so basicly right now i'm pretty pissed off, bored, and lonely. but my loneliness overcomes it all.
xx.jena
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2003 25 December :: 11.06pm
:: Mood: creative
:: Music: linkin park - numb
merry christmas
i'm just sittin here, messin' around with my digital camera i got for christmas. aww- everyone go to my photo album.
i'll be updating my album a lot, so keep checking.
merry christmas everyone.
hope it was a good one.
<3 jena
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2003 24 December :: 12.27am
X04evalovnMikeX0: lol shanon i have been e-mailing back and forth with uncle matt and i sent him some pics this is what he said....
X04evalovnMikeX0: I can see that you still do not wear clothes,and a tattoo! what is going on down there are you going to join a bike gang next?
X04evalovnMikeX0: lmao
Ad0rable Baby05: hahahahahahahaah
Ad0rable Baby05: he's right you know. lol.
Ad0rable Baby05: kayla?!
X04evalovnMikeX0: snotty imatation:: "hes right you know"
Ad0rable Baby05: ya know what!? just talk to the hand ~> :-)
X04evalovnMikeX0: ya know what! just talk to the magic stick! :-) [hers comes out as a magic stick and mine looks like a hand]
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2003 20 December :: 11.25pm
:: Mood: loved
:: Music: talking to jim
i'm just sitting here, eating a candy cane; listening to jim. he's playing driver 2 on playstation. i'm just sittin here watchin' and talking to him. i have to go back to school on monday, that sucks. but christmas vacation starts on thursday.. thank goodness.
my pap is home from the hospital [since yesterday] which is a good thing. let's hope he stays home for a while.
5 days til christmas.
and i still have to christmas shop.
xx.jena
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2003 16 December :: 8.46pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: cheap trick - i want you to want me
wishing jim was here
school was hell; as always. i came home went directly to the bank with my mom to cash a check, went home picked up the girls from the bus and my brother from down the house, we all went to see my pap in the hospital. i was supposed to go shopping with jim.. but plans changed so i called jim told him i couldn't come..
the doctor told my gram that my pap wouldn't make it out of the hospital this time. his heart is giving out. ..right before christmas.
i really don't consider myself "depressed" i just think that sometimes i get sad; like everyone else does.
but right now i am truely upset, mad, depressed and every other word there is. i just really need to be with jim to fuckin' cry on his shoulder for a while. it helps when i do that.. it really helps.
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2003 15 December :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: outkast - hey ya'll [it's just on the radio..]
is it never ending?
i haven't been doing much lately. didn't go to school friday or today..
my pap went back into the hospital again around 7:00 tonight..
i'm almost done with christmas shopping, just a few more things.
10 days til christmas. wow.. that's not very far away.
i think i'm gonna get a shower tonight and just go to school in my pj's tomorrow.
xx.jena
"i want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled, the one who could brighten up your day, even if i couldn’t brighten my own"
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2003 8 December :: 4.08pm
:: Mood: upset
:: Music: bob marley - no woman no cry
stressed.
-my pap is still in the hospital
-my mom is being stupid lately, we've been "fighting" about everything
-jim sometimes forgets to call me, i get upset
-i keep pasing out (..not joking.)
-i have a whole week ahead of me with assignments due, tests etc;; and it's really stressin' me out
now for the good news..
xx.jena
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2003 6 December :: 8.30pm
New journal.
Well...if you are here then most likely you know me. If not, well just...I don't know. Read up.
But for those of you who know me...this is my new public journal. Since Blurty sucks.
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2003 5 December :: 6.09pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: switchfoot - ment to live
everybody knows..
my pap is in the hospital again.
he's not doing well. everbody in my family knows that, but no one will openly talk about it.
why is it so hard to talk about someone dying? ..it seems to be a simple question, but it's hard to answer.
..it's just to hard to face, so we cover it up and pretend like nothing is happening; when really we're losing a huge part of ourselves.
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2003 1 December :: 2.04pm
:: Mood: depressed
:: Music: linkin park - numb
everything's just getting worse
jim and i were supposed to go to the mall today, but his fone was busy busy busy- and i couldn't get through, so we didn't go. once again jim, thanks for basicly ditching me. 3rd day in a row.
You are the crying eye. You think nothing out theres worth it an u just want to be alone. You know uve been hurt 2 much wen u open ur eyes n all u see are tears.
The type of pain ur eyes behold brought to you by Quizilla
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2003 30 November :: 12.20pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: silence
there will always be that one special boy.. that no matter what he does to you, or how bad he hurts you.. you can never let him go.
..thats all i have to say.
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2003 29 November :: 2.22pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: p.o.d. - will you
i don't even know anymore..
so last night jim was like "yeah, i'll call you when i get home." he didn't even fuckin' get home until 1:30 a.m. or so he says and thats why he's calling so late. so i was like okay whatever.. and being that today is our one year anniversary- i figured he'd be like "happy anniversary" or SOMETHING. but of course not. he didn't say shit. a week or so ago we were talking about what we were going to do today and he told me that we were going to the mall, movies, dinner, ect. i kept asking him what we were gonna do today and he was just like "i don't know" "who knows" i'm like okay..? i got really pissed after about 4 minutes, because 9 out of 10- he didn't remember. so i said bye and hung up.. but he didn't call back. so i was just like "fuck it" to myself.. cried for a while. a long while. watched a movie, cried after the movie. did something bad, cried some more. went to sleep at 4:30 or so.. i thought maybe he'd call me back and say something nice, tell me that he didn't forget.. or something.. but no. he didn't.
my aunt called at like 9:30 this morning, because i was supposed to go to centry three with her and my gram, but i didn't go. who the fuck wants to go somewhere when their heart has literally been ripped out of them? i feel like shit.
i always feel like shit anymore.
maybe i'm wrong, maybe he didn't forget.. maybe he'll call me in a little bit and talk to me and say happy anniversary and tell me how much he loves me and everything, but i doubt it.
i'm doubting everything anymore.
//.jena
"your lies leave scars on my wrists"
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2003 28 November :: 11.13pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: legally blonde on tv
bad day
it was just a bad day today..
You are Sally. Jack is your love but he doesn't even think of you that way. you long to become your own person and get away from your posessive creator.
What character from Nightmare Before Christmas are you??? brought to you by Quizilla
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2003 27 November :: 5.31pm
:: Mood: disappointed
:: Music: bush - glycerine
happy thanksgiving everyone.
well, first off i'd like to tell everyone happy thanksgiving! and i hope everyone is having a wonderful one, with friends/family.
i was up my aunts, and a lot of my family. i would just sit in my chair and watch them. now about 1/2 of them have little kids, and my cousins greg and tiff just had a little girl about a year or so ago.. and i would just sit and watch how my cousin greg would look at her. you could just tell she was the center of his world. it was so cute. hailey [thats her name] is so cute. very very cute.
so i'm glad about everyone being up there.. but i wish more people could have made it. my pap isn't doing to good, so who knows what will happen, ya know? i just wish some people would understand that.
i think this year was the first year i actually stayed ate at a table with some people. i usually just go off by myself and eat in the living room- or whatever. but hey, i can change.. right? =]
jim said he was going to be out around 3, haha fuckin' yeah right. i hate when he tells me something and then doesn't do it! he could call me or something. but no. no no no.
i don't even care.
i'm in a pretty good mood- even though i am disappointed in him.
but hey, what else is new?
it'll be a year for jim and i on the 29th of this month. ONLY 2 DAYS AWAY! ahh! it's so scary! but it's wonderful. =]
i'm gonna go back up my aunts. like i said, i hope eveyone is having a wonderful thanksgiving!
xoxo.jena
"i made the choice to finally go because i can’t stand this pain. it’s time for my last tear to fall and me to smile again."
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2003 25 November :: 5.54pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: smile empty soul - bottom of the bottle
please do this.
my mom e-mailed me this site for Campbells soup. they're helping the people that need food.
what you do is [first CLICK HERE.] and then click on you favorite team of the NFL. [or if you don't have a favorite team, vote for the Pittsburgh Steelers. ;) ]
please do that.. just imagine what it'd be like in their shoes.
xx.jena
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2003 23 November :: 7.27pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: talking to jim
got what i wanted
yeah, jim stayed home from work yesterday.. and today. =)
we went to the mall today- i got some stuff. (3 new shirts.)
that's all.
xx.jena
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2003 22 November :: 1.59pm
:: Mood: restless
:: Music: silence
nothing in particular
jim was supposed to go to work today, be he got really sick.. so he's not going in until 5. which is good, cause that means he'll get to spend more time with me. but i think he should just call off the whole day. so i can go over his house and stay or something. yeah. i think i'll try to get him to do that.
i'll update later with the results.
xx.jena
"they lie in bed with nothing said, as she gently falls asleep.
he thinks about how life would be if they didn't meet."
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2003 20 November :: 9.04pm
:: Mood: stressed
:: Music: jims playstaion game
...
i just came down from my aunt and uncles.. [my gram and pap live with them.] and my pap is back from the hospital the other day. i just went up and saw him.
he's not doing so good.. but it's better than we thought he'd be..
now we can just pray, and hope for the best.
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2003 16 November :: 9.13pm
:: Mood: content, in a pretty good mood.
:: Music: talking to allison [amys sister]
_!@#&?
i just got back from wal*mart.. some things i bought:
2 cards for jim [one for our 1 year anniversary, which is on nov. 29.. and one to give to him tonight.. because it's cute. and i love him to pieces.]
a "big jim" [LOL it's this HUGE candy cane.. but they call it a "big jim" hahaha] that's also for jim.
letter stickers
and thats it.
we stopped at subway. and i got a sweet onion chicked teryaki sub. mmmm mmmm good.
right now i'm helping allison with her math homework. oh yeah.
okay, sorry amy hopped on the computer for a couple minutes.
so right now i'm pretty bored.. i miss jim. even though i saw him today..
i love you jim.
xx.jena
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2003 15 November :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: amused
:: Music: radio
my blob
aww.. look: it's my useless,
but cute, BLOB!
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2003 15 November :: 3.29pm
:: Mood: high
:: Music: silence
laga and other things..
so last night we went to club laga to see tear her eyes. ahhhh.. what an adventure on the way there, and the way back.. right amy? lol. we had fun.. oh yeah we did.. haha.
some funny moments:
-- HAPPY SACK TIME
-- Tampon rental.. haha
-- Me going out the In door
-- The LJS hat
-- The guys' faces at BP
-- Me and Amy dancing in the parking lot
-- CORN SQUIRTERS!!
-- PURDUE?! ::points:: IT'S HERS!
-- Ahhh Amy!! I'm so stupid for not talking..!!
[thanks amy.. i stole this from you.]
this won't mean anything to anyone other than amy and i.. haha.
I went down jims house around 12:00, and just got back at 3:20. and here i am writing in my journal.
i'm hungry as shit..
xx.jena
"Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening, isn't it?"
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2003 13 November :: 11.22pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: our lady peace - supermans dead
a little lot mad.
..jim ended up not coming over last night.
i'd rather not even talk about it.
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2003 12 November :: 10.18pm
:: Mood: anxious
:: Music: semisonic - closing time
to many pills.
i'm anxious for jim to get here.. hopefully he comes over. he's been promising me he'd come over for the past almost a week now. :(
aww.. it's mr floppers.
so my mom got my perscription, and i started taking them tonight. i guess after i'm done with these pills, they're going to give me a yeast infection- and then i'll have to get medicine for that. [is it never ending?! when will i be off drugs?! haha]
since i missed those two days, i really didn't miss that much, i caught up in advance word processing, and the only class that i'm really kinda behind in is algebra. so oh well. i'll just get caught up with that, then i'm good. i forgot to get my report card. damn.
it's so cold outside anymore. i don't like it. i want it to be spring. and stay spring. forever.
xx.jena
"i can hear you in a whisper but you can't even hear me screaming"
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2003 11 November :: 3.00pm
:: Mood: frustrated
:: Music: moulin rouge
the infatuation will end.
..sorry about the title, watching moulin rouge again.
i'm just sitting here, on my day off of school [it's veterans' day.] not really doing anything. jim was supposed to come over last night, and he promised. yet once again- he somehow "couldn't find a ride" god, he makes me so mad! i didn't go to school yesterday, and i don't have school today. it would have been a perfect time for us to be together.. but no.
yesterday i went to the doctors. i had to give them a urine sample.. and they gave me these pills that makes my pee orangeish/red! omygosh, it's really scary, because every time i look down after i go to the bathroom- i think i'm bleeding.. whoa, it's just kinda freaky. but oh well. as long as they help! i have a really bad bladder infection. it sucks so bad. my mom has to run out sometime today and get my other pills- i think they're just antibiodics.
i missed 2 days of school [friday and monday] so i'm gonna be more behind in all my classes.. and i'll be getting my report card tomorrow. damn.
i can't wait until friday, amy and i are going to club laga [a little club in pittsburgh.] ohhhh yeah.
oh i forgot to tell everyone that i'm not moving. which is a good and a bad thing. but oh well, can't do anything about it now.
man, i really don't want to go to school tomorrow.
xx.jena
"nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets."
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