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2003 16 December :: 9.30 pm
wow i could loose 27 pounds in 3 months if i burned 1000 more calories than i took in a day...
i think ill try it, then i can be hunky lol :P
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
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2003 8 December :: 8.02 am
yogalaties!
2 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
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2003 29 November :: 9.12 pm
i know what i have to tell her, but im expecting the worse, i dont want whats probably going to happen to happen, i love her to much, but... how can... how can i not... if i love her this much i have to tell her... i have to be willing to make the ultimate sacrafice, so she can feel the love i felt, even if its not for me...
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 28 November :: 11.19 pm
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
boku wa baka desu
5 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 26 November :: 10.14 pm
scared as i realise my own mortality
i know im not suposed to because my muscles are so worn down...stupid doctors had to find it out in my physical... but i lifted my weights again today, i was, well stressed and its just always what i do, i usualy lay there for about 5 minutes then struggle to my feet, well i finished today, and 5 minutes past, then 10, then 20, then 30.... i couldnt lift myself up under my own strength, my brother ended up lifting me up onto my bed, i layed there for about an hour before i could get up... i have to stop, for at least a week... but i dont know what else to do... someone help... what should i do..
6 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
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2003 10 November :: 9.35 pm
I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Help me carry on
Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go?
How much longer until I finally know?
Because I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
i love this song...
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 4 November :: 10.10 pm
the thunder sounds like its yelling at me...
alright the rest of this is random babling, so yeah, if you get bored easily, dont go on...
so i got woke up this morning, so im sitting there 7am, and i think, hey ill go to easy and say hi to my young friends, i see morgan, wasnt that nice... she was all oh hi ben, how are you ben, and nice and stuff, and i really dont want to put up with her right now, she hates me, then she likes, me then she hates me, im not putting up with that.. well i got home and just sat around for a while, watched goldmember... good movie... perverted... but good... then i got online for a few hours ate dinner, worked on my report, almost basicly finished... and now here i am on the net again... fun...
2 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 4 November :: 8.39 am
:: Mood: confused
Day off of school!!! Day off of school!!! Day off of school!!! Day off of school!!! Day off of school!!!
wheeeeeeeeee, ok im done
so yeah im just sitting here insanely bored and its 8:45 i mean gosh... someone save me!! lol, yeah so yeah...
wow... se ya, lol
2 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 2 November :: 2.08 pm
kyles party
yeah, so it was fun, good party
i dunno what i was feeling last night... i ended up riding through the rain on my moped, kinda helped, cuz when its raining your not really sure if your crying or not, got back numb and took about 30 mins for me to warm back up. I also hid in the closet and lost track of time, but that was fun acualy, i really dunno why...
but yeah, i was just werid last night, but what new
luv ya all
3 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
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2003 29 October :: 6.55 pm
heh... i give up...
i cant go on like this...
i cant
i cant
I CANT!!!
4 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
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2003 29 October :: 6.35 pm
my heart is screming...
my head is screming...
i yearn constantly for a impossible love...
why...
beacuse i cant control my emotions...
im a pathetic excuse for a human
2 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 28 October :: 5.18 pm
why do you run....
you never let anyone explain what they have to say
its just always fine then you leave
maybe theres a point behind it
maybe you should listen
1 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 13 October :: 9.38 pm
Twinkle Twinkle little star
how i wonder what you are
up above the world so high
like a daimond in the sky
twinkle twinkle little star
how i wonder what you are....
To have the mind of a child, every blissfull, full of life, emotion, to have the heart of a child, untouched, untainted, only loved... charished... never knowing pain...
I wish could have experienced one... a childhood full of happyness... and that terror is following me, stawking me in my shadows, breathing down my neck at every turn. Just waiting for an oportunity to strike, ive been slashed so many times... i wonder just how much i have left...
5 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
::
2003 11 October :: 9.27 am
I lay on my bed, exaushted, yet something tells my body its not ready for sleep...
1 hour past, my thoughs start to drive me insane...
2 hours past, tears fall when i realise that i never wanted this day to end...
3 hours past, and i kept promising myself i wouldn't do anything drastic to myself...
4 hours past, i pray, i pray about everything... i pray about my life, i pray about all the people i can think of whos lifes have been bad, i just pray, it starts loosing a target, i just start talking... about whats beengoing on and how its lifing me off the ground, and i dont want it to stop...
5 hours past and my eyes start to fall, stoping the tears and finaly letting me lay down to rest...
5 hours of sleep is not fun by any means...
i love you
2 rays shine |
Bring a ray of hope... |
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