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2008 30 September :: 2.01pm
Rueben,
My phone won't let me call anyone. If you need me- I'm in Pearce on the fourth floor in the computer lab, and I'll be checking woohu.
If not, I'll see you at home around three or three thirty.
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2008 26 September :: 1.48am
:: Mood: tired?
:: Music: mr. deeds soundtrack
^^^no idea why^^^
so yeah. i had class all night. also turned in my app at papa john's. and i locked my keys in the car. dad came and bailed me out, though.
we did an audio interview with a guy in tampa tonight. how many thousand miles away? with 20 to 15000 Hz bandwidth, talkback, and almost no delay. phenomenal.
then i got back and chuck and i watched mystery science theater 3000 - "Hamlet" (the "from the 1960s, german, and dubbed in english" version).
that at least made it a little more worthwhile.
only had one cigarette today. thought that was pretty good.
time for bed, man.
goodnight.
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2008 24 September :: 11.11pm
What is wrong with this picture?
A "compassionate conservative" at the start of his presidency, George Bush is now asking us to socialize the banking sector. I wouldn't be suprised if Canada was planning to invade because of some crazy domino theory that the rest of the free world will slip into a quasi-communist system.
But seriously folks. This is a little prepostrous and hard to swallow. McCain seems to be playing right into it. What if this gets worse? Then are we just going to suspend the election? Is it just me or does this have the potential to unravel the American government, and not jus tthe American economy? I guess it doesn't matter because after the bill pass they will be one and the same I guess.
And by the way, I do not see how this is going to affect me. I guess I can understand how a slow down in financial markets is going to impact investor confidence. I can also see how the reduction in credit is going to force business to not invest in costly new projects with a ton of risk. I can see that this will slow down "progress." But will it really matter? Not to me I don't think. As long as there is a job, then I will be okay. Now if were talking Great Depression proportions, then we might not be okay. But if we let things get that bad, then shame on our government. I know, it sounds kind of ironic. Not wanting the government to do something now, but wanting them to step in if it gets worse. Yes, it makes perfect sense in my little libertarian train of thought. This is why regulation is good. To prevent these kinds of things. We need a 21st Century Teddy Roosevelt. I'm sorry, McCain, you are not it. Maybe Palin, but her business suits scare me and make me think that all she would do for domestic security was wag her finger at a gun toting Iranian cab driver. It would be the worst pr mess since someone landed on an aircraft carrier declaring total victory.
Wall Street has no guilt and no shame. That is why I have no guilt and no shame. These guys should be sent to Wyoming, or Nebraska, or wherever (not Iowa because they get to vote for president there first, we don't want to give them anything ressembling power) to live out their days farming corn and soy beans. Then we should take all their private money and use it to bail out the firms that they've run into the ground. And then give ownership of those firms to the people who's mortgages are owned by those firms so that they are not getting screwed for missing a month's payment.
Then and only then can we turn our heads and watch "It's a Beautiful Life" on TV.
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2008 24 September :: 11.56am
this semester is strange.
i don't know where i was going with that.
i just know that it's noon and i need to get up off my duff and start doing things. otherwise i'll be late and unprepared for my meetings today.
... that sounds so big-person-ish.
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m&ms487
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2008 23 September :: 12.39pm
Time is slowly slipping through my fingers like a silken cloth.
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2008 21 September :: 12.45am
i went jogging today. kind of.
went about 2.5 miles. walked most of it. i'm horribly out of shape.
and i had a bunch of food before i left.
even still, i know i'll appreciate doing it. i'll be sore tomorrow, but it's the good kind.
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Upchuck
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2008 18 September :: 6.39pm
RSS in Plain English
poop
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m&ms487
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2008 17 September :: 12.25pm
:: Mood: hungry
So, I finally went and saw a specialist (gastrointerologist). I couldn't play last week in band because I was so nauseated and I finally got fed up with everything, so I went and saw a regular doctor at university health services and they referred me to a specialist in town.
I went on Monday and saw her: I'm having an GI ultra sound today at three thirty to rule out any possibilities of enlarged things (like my gull bladder) and I'm having a scope a week from Friday. The scope is where they shove a camera down my throat to look at my stomach and esophagus; I will be asleep when they do it.
For now I'm on Protonix in the morning to help to try to heal any errosion I've had, and Zantac at night to reduce the acid in my stomach.
The specialist said it's probably not an ulcer, but that the medication I was on (over the past year) probably relaxed the sphincter between my esophagus and my stomach allowing acid to come up in my throat. She said there's a strong likelihood that I will have acid reflux disease for the rest of my life if the sphincter doesn't heal.
I can't eat:
gum
tomato based foods
spicy foods
large meals
food high in fat
fried food
alcohol
coffee
caffeine
carbonated beverages
So, there it is. I'll get poked and prodded a bit more in the next few weeks: my follow up appointment is on October third.
Weight lost as of today: 66 pounds (scary)
On to french class (which is also scary).
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2008 11 September :: 2.40am
busy
so, apparently in addition to being "technical director" for the radio station, i am now also the vice president of the scientists of sound.
when it rains, it pours.
i'm not even sure i want to add these to my resume. but at least it sounds impressive. far more impressive than the harry potter club.
i just hope i'm better prepared tomorrow (and more punctual) than i was on tuesday. just sayin'.
sleepy time pretty quick here, though. that should help.
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2008 7 September :: 8.20am
Wheatland was great. It's always great.
I'm throwing myself into a busy week again; classes, work, the fraternity.
I made first chair in University Band for the first time in a year and I get many solos, one of which is a montage of Raisins and Almonds-a song which I played many a time in my youth practicing.
My health is improving. My aciphex trial is almost done, and I'm better, but not totally healed. Going to Wheatland screwed me up a bit: it's always two steps forward, one step back. I think once I'm done I'm going to go on Prilosec for a while to help it heal all the way.
Wheatland pictures to be on facebook soon (whenever Jessie gets them up).
Mike Gravel.
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2008 8 September :: 7.39pm
What gives the Supreme Court to hear cases from the individual states?
Today we take for granted the appeal process in our legal system. Although the Supreme Court hears only 3% of its cases appealed from state courts it is still understood in our legal fabric that the Supreme Court is the highest court in the land. Unlike today, at the founding of our federal system the Supreme Court did not automatically have the authority to hear appeals from state courts.
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2008 5 September :: 1.16am
:: Mood: pensive
:: Music: the alan parsons project - tales of mystery and imagination
i think it's pretty sad that three-beer chris feels more "normal" than no-beer chris.
i guess the solution is to not have beer for awhile. but still. i haven't been functioning up to par without it. and, frankly, i haven't been getting drunk all the time, or passing out. just one or two after dinner or whatever. and it isn't until that point that i feel awake and alert and - well - normal.
i don't know what to make of it. but, either way, i figure it's bad.
P.S.
this made me smile, though:
"hey chris!
we were talking about how great you've been at the station during the meeting today. and we would really love to re-write another executive board position into the constitution. the new position would be the position of technical director. details are still a little vague, but basically the person in this position would be the go-to guy for all questions/problems with the equipment and website. we all feel that you would do wonderfully in this position and we would love for you to accept.
is this something that you are interested in?
thanks so much!
jill"
and i thought they hated me... : )
i sent her my more reserved-sounding equivalent of "fuck yeah!" as soon as i got it. although, now that i think about it, fuck yeah might have been the way to go. oh well, either way, it's cool, and i'm happy.
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2008 4 September :: 12.56am
:: Music: dashboard confessional - swiss army romance
COM 295 ::
:: i haven't even read the excerpt yet, and i already know more than half of them are morons ::
===============
--Saturday, August 30, 2008 3:55:58 PM EDT
I believe the Greek Mythos differs dramatically from our American Mythos. For instance, while the Mythos of the ancient Greeks stressed the importance of achieving "arete" or excellence in all areas of life, the Mythos of Americans only seems to stress the importance of excellence in a specific field of study, so as to gain employment in the that field, make money, and live a good life.
--Tuesday, September 2, 2008 10:45:11 AM EDT
I agree with your statements and think that you make good and valid points. You also get to the points quickly. Today's simplicity is not what it was defined as before.
--Tuesday, September 2, 2008 9:19:46 PM EDT
America is a system created by the christian religion of living under one god. We put most of our values in knowledge instead of physical strength like ancient Greeks. To be able to move up in out society you must go to college to become sombody. Everything is set in a certain system. We were all raised with these certain standards that need to be met. While knowledge is important I beleive that there is more to life than knowledge such as phyical well-being. In America people seem to think that money can create happiness. While money may help, money is nothing you don't have love and no one knows love till they experience it themselfs. If isn't something to be learned from a book.
--Wednesday, September 3, 2008 12:21:15 AM EDT
I agree with what everyone has said above me...
American and Greek, both, have a very different view on excellence. During the Greek Era, excellence was more than a detail in someones life. To them it could define a life, like Odysseus and his adventures. Whereas, Americans today view excellence to be a good grade, a prefect outfit, the taste from a meal, etc. Today excellence is many small details in a life and to the Greeks excellence was what made their life whole. To them and that era, it was the bigger picture in life, not the details about the past night.
When you look at life today verses then, life seems ordinary at times. But the Greeks would not allow for ordinary life, they tried for better...they tried for the overall excellence.
--Wednesday, September 3, 2008 2:41:30 PM EDT
I hold the same ideas as much of the rest of the class.
The Common American Mythos is the system of success. Simply put, from the time we were little in most cases were taught the extreme value of education and how important it is to have one. Parents' shuttle is off to school every day in hopes of preparing us for college and one day in the near future a job so we can provide a good life for ourselves and our family (the American dream). Yet this differs from the Greeks mythos which valued education as well, but stressed the importance of learning life lessons exemplified in such stories like Narcissus and Echo, and Zeus and so on. The Greeks understood that it was not possible for one to learn everything they needed to know from a book, life was a good teacher as well.
--Wednesday, September 3, 2008 3:26:41 PM EDT
A lot has been said on the common American mythos, which I do believe seems very structured and manufactored ie. going to college to get a good job. However for me atleast there is more to it. I dont want to just succeed I want to look back and see that I have made a contribution to society. This belief and others I find exist outside of the American mythos, however just because they arent used in this society to define success doesnt mean they have no merit.
--Wednesday, September 3, 2008 6:44:40 PM EDT
I think our common American mythos often relates wealth and power like many others have said. Many put their priorities first and foremost in money. All though some would like to say faith and family is first, it seems as though money and power often overrides the previous two. It is not only about higher education, although this is important. As a nation, I don't think someone that takes over a family business with no college degree is looked down on, furthermore, a wealthy business owner is most likely put on a pedestal than say a teacher or writer with a masters degree. Money seems to be the American mythos. I would say that my personal mythos rank in order of faith first, and then family. However, as an American, I have this idea of wealth, and power and success that is a hard barrier to come up against.
--Wednesday, September 3, 2008 11:07:03 PM EDT
I very much agree with everyone that posted. Especially on how our American mythos seems to be parallel with wealth and power. Along with that the education of ourselves and our children. It seems that these days the only way to get wealth and power, we need to be be educated or at least have a piece of paper that says we are educated. It is hard to say that I believe this should be true, but as of now I know it is true in our society today. I also think faith and family deserve to be number one, but if we let that happen, it seems we would fall behind our "real" American mythos.
--Wednesday, September 3, 2008 11:33:18 PM EDT
I had a hard time thinking about what could be a common set of beliefs among all Americans. I'm not sure there is one, because we all seem to be so different and diverse, but that in itself may be the American mythos. I think that as Americans we hold strength and individualism with high regard. Take, for example, the "American Dream". The "American Dream" is to make something of yourself and be powerful and strong, persevering despite obstacles, to set yourself apart. So then I would say that the American arete, or excellence, is to make something of yourself, starting from the ground up, and using you're own strength and talents to become powerful. Even though Americans come from various backgrounds, cultures, religions, etc, I think the American Dream is a value we commonly hold.
Personally, my mythos is a little different. Although I do want to become something and possess some type of power or wealth and get a good job, something much stronger than all of that and stronger than me has set my values and beliefs in place. Power and wealth are only my goals as an American, or as a college student. My goal as a person is simply to love. To love God, to love others, and lastly to love myself. That is the greatest and most excellent thing I could do in life, and when I'm gone, I don't want people to remember me as a rich sucessful woman, but rather a loving, faithful one.
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins." I Peter 4:8
--Thursday, September 4, 2008 12:12:27 AM EDT
Well.... In my opinion, our common american mythos is not far off of the Greeks lasting idea of "excellence". We are all pushed towards "excellence" from day one, and if we should find ourselves falling short, there usually is someone right there to let you know. Our own ideas of excellence may be different than the others, but there is definitely a standard that we inherently know ( common sense) or figure out along the way. Our mythos is spelled out for us from society, the rest comes from family, values, beliefs, self..ect. I believe that the American mythos is the same for all on some level. We all want to recieve/give love, have a partner in life, have family and friends to rely on and share good times with, money to be abundant enough to pay the bills and maybe some extra for frivolous items that make us happy for the moment, and to be successfull enough to make ourselves and/or whomever it is in our lives that is pushing us proud. That is how I feel in a nut shell about my own mythos as well. I just want to live up to the b.s. norms of society so at some point I can feel " free" and be independent. It all falls back on making money in the grand scheme of things... there isn't alot that you can do without it, but there are some things in life... some parts of the American "Mythos" that doesn't require money like love and family ... so were not completely screwed yet...
============
eesh.
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2008 2 September :: 12.37am
:: Music: blues traveler - four
62 wpm?
999999 words Speedtest
i won't disclose my first time. it was embarrassing.
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2008 1 September :: 11.37pm
So I think I can live wiht my aunt being a biker chick. It was nice to see her and her new guy Ray seems to be very nice. A more down to earth type guy. A real man's man if you know what I mean. She looks happier than I had seen her in a long time and that was good.
Another troubling incident. Apparently someone at the park and my cousin Megan are dating. Now, they are only in their early teens so I'm sure it's nothing serious. The troubling thing is something that my mom said. She told me and then she said "I hope it doesn't last." Well, I can understand her not wanting Megan to hang around the park because it would be awkward. The whole, "hi, I'm your aunt but I have never been a part of your life" bit. But it troubles me that my mom would wish for someone not to be happy. Her problem is with my uncle, not his kids. Maybe this is me feeling a slight bit of remorse for having this multitude of cousins that I have no idea who they are.
So, I just got done reading "The Audacity of Hope." After Obama's selection of Biden I was kind of down. My biggest knock against Obama is that I am afraid of the people who he will put in office to run this country. I agree with his vision. I like his ability to stir someting deep inside of people. But can he be an effective leader and be fair in all respects of government. Probably not. I wish he could be and have people that he could appoint that believe in the same things he does. But there are not that many people in Washington qualified that don't view a cabinet post as anything more than a way to reward their friends, make themselves rich, and campaign for their next job. Not that things would be any different with McCain, but you don't expect that out of him.
I truly believe that this is shaping up to be a big victory for the Democrats. It is kind of a Kennedy v. Reagan type case if there ever had been one, but with a 21st century twist.
The woman from Alaska scares me.
So long for now.
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2008 29 August :: 10.46pm
Ummm...
So, Contemporary Literary Thought=me reading Satre until I fall asleep for the past two nights, and tonight.
I likes.
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2008 27 August :: 1.14pm
i seriously think this game is rigged.
does anyone else think it's weird that the favored presidential ticket is "Obama - Biden" when just a few years ago the stereotypical bad guy was "Osama bin Laden".
i just think it's bizarre. and not that i ever cared about osama, or obama, really. because for the most part, i resent politics. but that just struck me on a linguistic level, and i had to acknowledge it.
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2008 23 August :: 3.28pm
French is scary.
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2008 20 August :: 11.41am
Ummm... I make kick ass caramelized carrots and stuffed mushroom caps? Yep.
I'm investigating grad school: classes and such. I don't know. BAH.
i don't wanna go to work. i don't wanna.
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2008 21 August :: 12.54am
i'm too high school for my shirt :: so high school it hurts.
Pink Floyd - Dogs
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2008 21 August :: 12.44am
:: Music: Pink Floyd - Dogs
school starts yet again, very very soon.
you'd think i'd be excited. that's usually how it goes this time of year. a little mellow and pensive, but excited nonetheless.
however, this year i just feel kind of depressed. like it's basically over already, and i'm just going through the motions. jumping through hoops until the hoops are gone. i guess i'm just depressed because i know that i won't know what to do when that happens. i've been jumping (whether poorly or not is of little consequence) for so long, that it's all i know how to do. or at least, it's the only thing i've managed to convince myself i'm comfortable doing, despite the fact that i still to this day do not know how to do it.
i think i'll feel better once the days start getting shorter and cooler, and the leaves start to change, and i get to enjoy the smells of warm donuts and fresh apple cider and pumpkins and hay. i always love that time. and every august i forget that it's not for another two months or so.
but a boy can dream, i suppose.
and in the meantime, he should get a fucking job. how many times have i said that on here? and how many more times will i repeat myself until it actually happens?
more than i'd care to admit.
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2008 18 August :: 9.23pm
Rueben and I just got back from a long walk. It was quite pleasant, except for the swarms of bugs by the ponds.
I have another day off tomorrow! However, I do have to work Friday night, which is another move-in day. Boo.
Ellen is here and moved in, but she's at band camp all day.
I have a ton of food in the fridge leftover from band camp meals. Luckily, I can actually eat some of it now. Medicine is a good thing.
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2008 19 August :: 10.24pm
We bought a house today. 1494 3 Mile Rd.
It's a nice house.
My parents also got two offers on their house.
If you want to see the updates we made to their house, there are pictures. Follow the link: http://public.grar.com/public/addmed.mac/list?MLS=727193
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m&ms487
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2008 15 August :: 10.44am
:: Mood: chipper
Being overly confident leads me to acting in ways that are not calculated, in ways that are true. Being confident leads me to act like a fool.
I'm going to work soon. Work. Work.
I guess I'll have some money this year. That would be nice since my college education is financed out of government loans. Maybe I'll know what it's like to have some money for a year or two before I have to start paying them off.
I'm being pessimistic.
One of the guys I work with at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer asked me if I would be a witness at his wedding if they opened up Massachusetts to out of state gay couples getting married. I guess right now you have to be a resident (old law from the 1800's so the South wouldn't get mad when Massachusetts wed inter-racial couples) to get married in Massachusetts-which includes gay marriage. Since they are residents of Michigan, and not Massachusetts, as soon as the law changes, we're going. It'll probably be around the first of the year. Needless to say, I feel extremely honored.
I was also informed that I might be getting the service desk trainer position, which is not a big deal at all, except that I get paid twenty five cents more an hour to sit with new people up in the learning center and warn them about angry people demanding the Michigan Scanning Award when they aren't suppose to get it. It won't take any extra time, and I won't really have any more responsibility than I do right now, which is absolutely fine with me.
I started taking my aciphex this morning. I hope that it works. I'm at the end of my rope with food. I just want to eat it all!! [wow, do I sound like a fatty now, or what?!]
On the up side, I'm wearing some pants right now that I've never been able to wear because they were too small when I bought them (when I was fifteen!).
Sixty two pounds down- hopefully no more!
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2008 15 August :: 12.27am
i could never be a writer.
i'm way too shitty at managing my time.
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2008 14 August :: 9.06pm
I'm in Mt. Pleasant. I'm working. I'm going to the library every morning because my computer doesn't like the rented charter modem and I get too frustrated to sit on the phone with at "Tech" person who I can't understand and repeats everything I say to them. Might as well just get a parrot.
I made lemon bars and gave some to Chris so I wouldn't feel guilty about asking him to use his computer. I took them to work, too, so don't think I'm that neurotic.
I haven't been able to eat for the past couple days because my ulcer has been acting up. My body is really stressed out from moving and working and the tests I went through earlier this month. I'm going to start taking my aciphex tonight. The doctor said that if it didn't get better fast enough or got worse, to start taking it. I guess it's now. I just want to be able to eat more than a bite of a protein powerbar without getting nauseated.
I work until Sunday, I volunteer at Central's band camp on Monday and Tuesday, Rueben comes Sunday night/Monday morning. School starts a week from Monday. First Kappa Kappa Psi eboard meeting is that Monday night; first general meeting is that Thursday. Wheatland is the second weekend of school, Rush starts the Tuesday after that, closed Rush is that Thursday, First Degree is Sunday; then it may slow down.
Oh, and I have to get t-shirts going for the Chapter, and I have to buy gatorade for band camp. Did you know they made gatorade powder that has like 100 servings? Yeah. I didn't know that.
Okay, so, in closing, I have to admit only this:
I love fan.
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2008 14 August :: 3.12pm
i know this is lame of me, but still.
i'm kind of hurt because a bunch of people i know apparently went out to a bar that i may not frequent, but have certainly been to several times (and have thoroughly enjoyed every time), and not one of them invited me.
i mean, maybe i wouldn't have gone anyway, but at least then i would have had the choice. it just makes me sad that there are so many nice people out there that really don't want me around.
and mom wanted me to find a friend to go with us to the baseball game tomorrow night, and i completely ran out of friends. i was running off the list in my head, and most of them were out of town or busy. and i wasn't going to count on kevin, because i figured he'd be with andrea. but maybe he'll pull through still.
all in all, i don't feel very desirable at the moment. and shannon doesn't count because she has more justifiable reasons to despise me than most anyone else, and her ignorance of that fact is not any fault of my own.
i'm gonna go mow lawn soon, i think. i don't feel like calling lenders today. addison was supposed to call me, though. maybe i'll give him a ring first.
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2008 12 August :: 8.45pm
I'm still alive, I promise. I'm having a hard time with internet access, and when I do have it, I'm typing a million miles a minute about kappa kappa psi things. Band camp next week=crazinezz.
p.s. - Rueben, I'm on chris's computer :).
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2008 11 August :: 6.24pm
gmail is having a server error. and that pisses me off.
so, thank you woohu, for not malfunctioning.
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2008 7 August :: 9.17pm
I just finished my last day at Meijer. I'm leaving Saturday morning, and starting at the Mt. Pleasant Meijer on Sunday or after.
Things are getting back to normal.
I can't find my hair brush and it's making me quite devastated.
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