Extremely Strange.......

:: 2009 2 July :: 1.08am
:: Mood: thug
:: Music: best i ever had

got a house but i need new furniture why spend mine when i can spend urrs? ?
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.

Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.
When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.
She make me beg for it till she give it up.
And I say the same thing every single time.

I say you the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the best i ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
I say you the fucking.

Know you got a roommate
Call me when its no one there
Put the key under the mat
And you know I'll be over there
(Yup) I'll be over there
Shawty, I'll be over there
I'll be hitting all the spots that u ain't even know was there
Ha. And you ain't even have to ask twice
You can have my heart or we can share it like the last slice
Always felt like you was so accustom to the fast life
Have a nigga thinking that he met you in a past life
Sweat pants, hair tied, chilling with no make up on
That's when your the prettiest
I hope that you don take it wrong
You don't even trip when friends say you ain't bringing Drake along
You know that I'm working I'll be there soon as I make it home
And she a patient in my waiting room
Never pay attention to them rumors and what they assume
And until them girls prove it
I'm the one to Never get confused with Cause.

Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.

Cause she hold me down everytime i hit her up.
When i get right i promise that we gon live it up.
She make me beg for it till she give it up.
And I say the same thing every single time.

I say you the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the fucking best.
You the best i ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
Best I ever had.
I say you the fucking.

Sex, Love, Pain
Baby I be on that tank shit
Buzz so big i could probably sell a blank disk
When my album drop
Bitches will buy it for the picture
And niggas will buy it too and claim they got it for they sister
Magazine paper girl
But money ain't the issue
They bring dinner to my room and ask me to initial
She call me the referee
Cause I be so official
My shirt ain't got no stripes but I can make yo pussy whistle
Like the Andy Griffith theme song
And who told you to put them jeans on
double cup love
You the one i lean on
Feeling for a fix then you should really get yo pheen on
Yea just know my condo is the crack spot
Every single show she out there repping like a mascot
Get it from the back
And make yo fucking bra strap pop
All up in yo slot until the nigga hit the jackpots

Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.
Baby you my everything you all i ever wanted.
We can do it real big.
Bigger then you ever done it.
You be up on everything.
Other hoes ain't never on it.
I want this forever, i swear i can spend whatever on it.

How does it feel?

:: 2009 1 July :: 11.12pm

Beyonce Halo
soo it's been a long time since i've updated more than a few strange words.

so much has been happening. life is...insane. busy. spiraling everywhere. pain, love, excitement, hurt. moving forward, moving backward, sitting in the middle of it all.

work is ridiculous. i work 32 hours plus a week. i hardly have any time to myself anymore. i definitely need the money more than anyone could ever know, but it's exhausting sometimes.

i got a B+. a fucking B+. there goes my 4.0 at CMU. GONE------> ughhhhh

i miss jake. i hate just 'visiting' with my boyfriend. i want him here, with me. i hate it.

i feel alone, overwhelmed, grown up. doing things on my own. taking care of everything. trying to hold my family together, wishing my father was sober...scrounging for pills that the doctors office won't subscribe.

my pharmacist says i'm the most 'normal, mature 21 year old that comes in here," again could be just because he loves me. maybe not. but he should know at least some about me since i'm forced to talk to him for half an hour increments everytime i go in there. he is kind of attractive which is the odd thing. he's like 28. weird. especially since i always feel skanky when i go in there either in my work uniform or some sort of sweat pants and tank top. bleh

bought one bellybutton ring got four free. woohoo and bought a mouth guard so i don't grind my teeth down to the gums like i have been. it's annoying though and weird.

when is my someday. i want it now. i want my turn.

:: 2009 29 June :: 1.32am

wargarbllllllllllllllllllllll

:: 2009 21 June :: 10.31pm

how can i explain this type of hurt.

he disappeared before i left so he didn't even say goodbye.

happy fucking fathers day.

:: 2009 19 June :: 10.20pm

Getting married in the morning...... Sweet niblets!

cleverlinesunread

:: 2009 16 June :: 9.31pm

'One morning an elderly man was walking on a nearly deserted beach. He came upon a boy surrounded by thousands and thousands of starfish. As eagerly as he could, the youngster was picking them up and throwing them back into the ocean.

Puzzled, the older man looked at the young boy and asked, "Little boy, what are you doing?"

The youth responded without looking up, "I'm trying to save these starfish, sir."

The old man chuckled aloud, and queried, "Son, there are thousands of starfish and only one of you. What difference can you make?"

Holding a starfish in his hand, the boy turned to the man and, gently tossing the starfish into the water, said, "It will make a difference to that one!" '

:: 2009 1 June :: 6.19pm

sooo... i need a new job. can anyone help?

:: 2009 30 May :: 9.53pm

people are fucking pissing me off. i am being fucking taken advantage of and can't say anyting because i dont have a backbone and am so stressed everyday there that i am brought to tears because i know she is taking advantage of me. sucks ass. people are stupid..

its shitty.

:: 2009 18 May :: 6.13pm

For the first time in my life I can't sleep. This never happens. Like, you don't understand- I normally can sleep WHENEVER , wherever for how ever long I wish. Like when I'm bored, I just sleep sometimes. I have never hjad this problem but for some reason I am sooo tired but I can not sleep. I got about an hour last nite and trying to nap since I left work and I can't. On top of it all, I am really sick and feel like total crap so I really need the sleep. Ugh this really sucks and I look like a zombie. Wtf?

:: 2009 17 May :: 7.33pm
:: Mood: lonely

i never wanted to hear those words again.

How does it feel?

:: 2009 9 May :: 10.15pm

sooooooooooooooooo booooooorrrreeeeed.

:: 2009 9 May :: 2.14am

i need to go to sleep.

HAPPY BELATED BDAY TO REEEEUBEN/ RUUUUEEBEN

woo!!!!!!

4 Felt the pain... | How does it feel?

:: 2009 1 May :: 5.52pm

so today roxy got into my purse which had a chocolate bar in it from last night when we went to the movies and i bought one! it was opened cuz i didn't finish it and i was hanging up clothes in my room when i came out she was chowing down on the chocolate. I went to take it from her and she about bit my hand off and started growling I had to basicallty throw her across the dang room to get it away from her. but all in all she probably ate a total of an ounce or so but so i call the vet and they tell me that even though that's not much, it could be lethal to her beacuse she is so small (only 6.2 lbs. - shes a chihuahua) and so i freak out and they tell me i have to go buy hydrogen peroxide to induce vomitting. so i'm like bawling my eyes out thinking WHAT IF she dies and i rush to the dollar store and buy some and then i have to do soemthing i wish i never had to do and seriously pour this "poison" down her throat-- okay i know it's not poison but who wants to give hydrogen peroxide to their baby and MAKE them vomit???? so i had to lock her and i in the kitchen and Paris, my other dog, is just looking at us like what the heck is going on? and i'm just sitting there waiting for her to get sick and crying my eyes out saying "I'm so sorry baby i'm so sorry" she finally starts vomitting after about 4 minutes of just being unsuspecting and looking at me like "why did you give me that gross stuff mommy?" and then all of sudden its like oh yeah because you're trying to kill me!!! and she starts puking all in all like 5 times! and she is so tiny so its so hard to watch her walking around wondering why she's throwing up... wondering what is going on whats happening to her... shes probably did not understand at all because shes i think puked maybe once before and hardly at all. and this puking was a LOT for this tiny little creature. but luckily she barfed it pretty much all up but then i called the vet to see what to do next cuz i was still really worried and she told me to keep on eye on her (obviously) and her heartrate so then i'm sitting there trying to count her heart beats per mminute which is hard when its hard to even feel it and then she keeps moving and so i just let her sleep and then a few minutes later i pick her up and it seems like her heart is beating so fast which there was no reason for that since she was sleeping and so then i start to worry again and this whole time i've been googling on the situation and so that is panicking me even more and so i call the animal hospital by my hosue and ask if i can just bring her in and they say yes and long story short they said shes fine just keep an eye on her and i have to give her special bland food- and not feed her til late tonight cuz she needs to make sure all the chocholoate is out so thats pretty much it but ughghghg my baby i'm just glad shes ok!

:: 2009 1 May :: 12.10am

Hahahaha karma is awesome, or I guess from yout perspective, karma's a bitch. Hahaha!

How does it feel?

:: 2009 1 May :: 12.10am

Hahahaha karma is awesome, or I guess from yout perspective, karma's a bitch. Hahaha!