Extremely Strange.......

2 Felt the pain... | How does it feel?

:: 2006 15 March :: 1.42pm

It's so fricken easy to say yeah I'm gonna be so great and everything's going to be so great and I'm going to graduate college and become this great thing and earn this great money and blah blah blah but now I realize nothing is ever going to happen.

great.

brokenmentality

:: 2006 15 March :: 9.21am

im going on a date tonight, where... im not sure. its a suprise. i was just told to get dressed up and to be ready by six. i love how that "feeling" never dies with us. how happy i am when i see you, how proud i am to call you mine, how you simply make me smile even when you're not around. we're going on 16 months now. and im just as giddy and excited to spend time with you as i was when we first started dating. and im not going to be all cheezy and melodramatic and say that you complete me, because you dont. and nobody should feel that way about somebody else. but we complement eachother so perfectly.

1 Felt the pain... | How does it feel?

:: 2006 14 March :: 9.25pm

Thank you, God.

Roman got a car. It has honestly been since like July that he hasn't had a car. Do you know how hard that has been for us?

He got a 2003 Taurus only 40 thousand miles on it!! I am so excited it looks so nice and new and pretty and yay I'm so excited.

YAY! We never imagined he would get this good of a deal or this nice of a car. I'm so happy.

Finally one thing good has happened.!

i'm gonna be jealous he has a better car than I do now lol@!!! Pimpin in his sweet ride!

How does it feel?

:: 2006 14 March :: 3.08pm

I don't even know what this means, and don't ask me to explain in depth what a "slowdown" even is. But I just like this and it's making me want to cry.

I must look just like a fool
Here in the middle of the road
Standin' there in your rearview
Gettin' soaked to the bone
This land as flat as it is mean
A man can see for a hundred miles
So I'm still prayin' I might see
The glow of the brake light

But your wheels just turn, down the road ahead
If it hurts at all, you ain't showed it yet
I keep lookin' for the slightest sign
That you might miss, what you left behind
I know there's nothin' stoppin you now
But I'd settle for a slowdown

I held on longer than I should
Believin' you might change your mind
And those bright lights of Hollywood
Would fade in time

But your wheels just turn, down the road ahead
If it hurts at all, you ain't showed it yet
You're just a tiny dot, on that horizon line
Come on tap those brakes, baby just one time
I know there's nothin' stoppin' you now
I'm not asking you to turn back around
I'd settle for a slowdown
Come on just slowdown
I'd settle for a slowdown

I guess you wouldn't understand....

How does it feel?

:: 2006 14 March :: 2.53pm

I'm just too far, from where you are, I wanna come home.
UGGHGHHGGHg

i dont even know what i'm doing anymore. my grades are getting so bad and this college class i'm taking is/was a ridiculous idea and i have another test today and i dont feel like going because i know im' going to fail it. there's no doubt so why even waste my time i wish i could just drop out of it.

there's no point especially because im not even going to college. just cosmetology school but then again i could always go college later in life so i dont want to fuck everything up but it will be anyway because i'm going to fail all the tests. i passed the last one but that was only because i duno... it was just better.

and yeah i guess the only good thing going on is roman is probably finally getting a car. this rowe city auto place in jackson has all their cars 40 thou and less miles and all 2000 or newer. how good is that? i know i feel like there must be a catch but we've both each called them twice and verified that that is really true and everything and he is actually there right now so hopefully everything works out.

please...

and i am just sick of pretty much everything. i want an apartment and i want to be done with school and my counter disapeered on my woohu page so now i lost track of how many days are left and it's upsetting me.

I wanna go home but oh wait I already am.

Yeah does that make any sense.

Hey would anyone do me a big favor and just comment to me and say something even just hi but not anything mean.

I want to cry and i have no drive.

my 6-8 page essay is due in 6 days and ta-daa i haven't even started it at all.

in fact, my works cited isn't even turned in. i just want to leave school. i wish i could and still graduate. but.

yeah. congratulations: a loser. So how do you like me now?

And seriously, how would you fill in these blanks? It's ridiculous... Just seriously even TRY

Always keep ________ your ________ on your phaser.

That doesn't even gramatically make any sense. Fuck!

:: 2006 13 March :: 9.58pm

Well let's see here. The National College Fair wasn't all that bad. None of my friends even knew what it was. We honestly went just to get out of class and Mr. A told us we'd get free pens which was a lie lol. Not that I don't have enough of those anyways but out of all the colleges I was only interested in two of them which are both in California. Imagine that? I know. I sort of want to go to The Fashion Insitute of Design for fashion design obviously. I don't really know which one I'd go to. They have a school in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Orange County, and San Diego. I've would probably say Los Angeles or Orange County and then the other school is The University of San Francisco. So besides those two schools, the whole thing was a big waste of time but we missed almost the whole day so I guess I can't complain too much. I was talking to the guy that works at The Fashion Institute of Design and that is where LC from Laguna Beach goes. Haha I made sure to ask him that. He said he knows her pretty well. Well, thats nice. I'm not going to go there just because she does because I honestly could care less it's just I thought that was pretty interesting and I don't even know if I'm going to go there in the first place. It's just a small option I have. I still really really want to go to USC. I don't even know yet.
Okay so enough college talk.

I feel like my house is going to blow over any minute. That might be unfourtunate.

I can't let you go. It's who I know.

<3 Ashley

3 Felt the pain... | How does it feel?

:: 2006 13 March :: 7.37pm

soooooooooooooo.

yeah.

2 Felt the pain... | How does it feel?

:: 2006 12 March :: 8.45pm
:: Mood: excited
:: Music: The Veronicas-4ever

I can honestly say that today I had my doubts about all of this but after that talk I realize I don't have any reason to doubt things and that things are just the way they should be.

Come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever, let me show you all the things that we can do, I know you wanna be together, and I wanna spend the night with you.

lynds4090

:: 2006 12 March :: 8.27pm

i love listening to chicago.. so i'm writing my paper and bob marley is great but i've listened to his cd twice.. and i jus tpopped in chicago.. and i'm revied!!! lol i'm a dork!! but i love it....... and all that jazz....

1 Felt the pain... | How does it feel?

3 Felt the pain... | How does it feel?

:: 2006 12 March :: 12.05pm

so roman's birthday and our 2 year anniversary was yesterday.

it was fun and now i probably... more like definetely wont see him until march 31st.

yeah so great.

and in other news i dont know

brokenmentality

:: 2006 12 March :: 10.08am

today will be wonderful. i dont have to work, keegan doesnt have to work. its just an "us" day. i got to see him for like 3 hours last night after he got out of work before he had to go home.... and 2 1/2 of those hours we were sleeping. lol.

i started my brit lit paper last night. anybody else reading this will feel my pain. im doing mine on jack the ripper.... i almost had a break down last night about how there's no way im going to get it done in time. i mean... this week i have to write a 6-8 page research paper, a 5 minute speech, arrange everything for the talent show, work, i wont beable to get anything done on my paper on saturday because we're going to Ann Arbor for a BBoy battle. (hopefully i can use the schools camera) stupid mysterious murderer stressin me all out.

:: 2006 11 March :: 12.57pm

Lisa and I are procrastinators and we figured since Spring Break is coming up we should probably buy our tickets to Florida so that's what we did today and the total for both of us was $1,000. Yeah, that's what happens when you wait so long. We should have gotten them a long time ago but I always wait until the last minute to do everything. Oh well I guess. $1,000 later and we're off to Florida soon. Thank god. We both need to get out of this horriable place.

:: 2006 10 March :: 11.01pm
:: Mood: Happy
:: Music: Motion City Soundtrack-My Favorite Accident

I really hate calls like those. Calls when you can't even understand your friend because they are crying so hard. I don't even know what to say to make her feel better. It's hard for me to imagine being that upset because I haven't been that way in a long time and right now I'm genuinely happy. I feel so useless because some of my friends really need me and yes I am here for them it's just I can't always help them in the ways they need to be helped. It really makes me sad to see her like that because I can honestly say that less than a month ago I was the same way. It's hard. It hurts. I know. I've been there and I'm sure I will be again someday. I never believed that something great would come along and make me forget about all those things that were bringing me down but eventually it does and you just need to learn to let go of the people who cause pain. It's not worth being down. I've learned that the hard way. I have no idea how talking about my friend turned into something like this but I just hope that things start to look up for some people who really need it and they know who they are.

This morning when I pulled into school Bruce was already parked and he waited for me and we walked into school together and he told me that he feels like today was going to be a good day and I just had a feeling it wasn't going to be and sure enough it really wasn't. I was such a bitch to everyone for no reason. I was just so upset that I could've cried. I have no idea why I was upset but it was just one of those days but I think I really just needed to talk to this person and after we talked and everything was better. So I apologize for being that way today.

Mishy: I'm pretty sad because those wonderful sunglasses that you bought for me have been stolen by Aaron. He was wearing them after school and he told me he'd give them back tomorrow. He has like ten things of mine at his house haha.

I guess this is all for tonight. I'm just rambling on.

<3 Ashley