.j.e.s.s.
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2006 16 January :: 9.10pm
okay, is this odd?
"It's no exaggeration to say that the pain and desperation of cluster headaches have actually led to suicides."
...orrrrr what? lol. i'm dumb sorry.
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swimfan14
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2006 16 January :: 2.49pm
Stop doing this. It's getting so annoying. You don't get that.
Everythings about you. It's always about you. You think the world revolves around you. You're selfish and I can't stand it any longer. Maybe you should just listen to yourself. I think we were right.
You just made everything a lot easier for me, so thank you for pretty much proving everything we thought.
My dad and Kelli are coming to see me tonight :)
Aww yesterday I got flowers and then today I got more!!
2 Felt the pain... |
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brokenmentality
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2006 15 January :: 10.20pm
i LOVE every other saturday...... they're always perfect. ALWAYS, and yesterday was no exception. i say everyother saturday because i dont work every other saturday and keegan never works saturdays.. so we get to be together all day long.
we're both semi broke right now.. so for most the day we just lounged around his house. i got teh 8th season of friends, his mom made one of my favorite dinners (tatertot caserole) and it was just nice to be home all day. then we met stacy, dani, dustin, devin, and brandi downtown and saw that pink floyd laser show at the planetarium (sp). which was most deffinately an acid trip... lol. i dont think you get the full effect if you're not stoned.... which heaven knows we werent... laughs* but it was pretty cool. WAY to much stimulation for the eyes though. ouuuch. after that me and keegan went to oasis which was wonderful. we got there around 12 and had the greek room reserved which i've been wanting to see since prom last year. it was amazing. (keegan popped his OTHER shoulder out of joint a few days ago.. so its been pretty sore.. hense us going to oasis and me having an "excuse" to get a new bathing suit.... giggles) but yeah... it was awesome. i thought it was an indoor room, but we walked in and theres murals all over the walls and a fire place and statues.... but no ceiling. it was just beautiful. the perfect end to the perfect night. then we went home and fell asleep and got up this morning to go to a new church. we're looking for a church. we went to Sparta babtist this morning... which was nice, but we wanna try a bunch of different ones.. so if you have an suggestions... comment. we're looking for a contemporary service with contemp. music. and we're not looking to become involved with a youth group... just sundays.
everything just feels so right. not only are we going on 14 strong months.. but we're still so incredibly happy. never have we almost "broke up", because we're mature enough to handle our arguments. i've never felt this way before. EVER. i thought i did once... i though THAT was love... and i couldnt have been more wrong. now, i find myself falling in love with my best friend... and although its a process that may take anywhere from a month to a couple years to fully develop... im looking so forward to that moment that i've been dreaming of my whole life.. where i can look that ONE person in the eyes express that age old 3 letter phrase that people have been saying since the dawn of time.
we're so on track with eachother. and i think its awesome that we're growing spiritually together.
*smiles* i admire you!
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 15 January :: 9.50pm
today was so hectic but everything turned out great. i love roman so much. i am so lucky.
we are so lucky.
and jess i totally freakin love you. we both do lol
1 Felt the pain... |
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swimfan14
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2006 15 January :: 7.40pm
Okay so I'm going to try to make this short because I'm about to fall asleep.
Last night I woke up around 4am and I started crying because I couldn't breathe or swallow any liquids. My mom gave me some kind of medicine to calm me down and it wouldn't help so we went to the hospital. When I got there they told her I was dehydrated and they gave me a breathing mask and they tried putting an IV in my arm, but they couldn't find a good vein so they had to keep trying. I was getting so pissed because it hurt so bad. Finally they found one and they had a huge bag of some kind of liquids connected to my IV. They said it would take over an hour to get it pumped into my IV and into me and then they put Steriods *sp* into my IV to take down the swelling of my glands so I could breathe better and apparently I'm allergic to w/e kind it was and I had a major allergic reaction. I almost passed out and then I got all these weird pains everywhere and it felt like someone was stabbing me with all these tiny needles so I was screaming and crying and I really don't even remember what happend after that because they gave me something and it pretty much knocked me right out. I was so scared though. My machines I was hooked to were beeping and I hated being on a stretcher. I seriously felt like I was going to die. Anyways I don't know if I said it or not, but I do have mono so I probably will be out of school for a while. Who knows what's going to happen. I think when my dad walked into my hospital room it scared the crap out of him. When he seen me he just kept looking at everything I was hooked up to and all the IV's and he was like "God this is awful" and I can tell he felt bad because he isn't going to be here for me since he's leaving for Pittsburg tomorrow morning. Oh well though. My mom has to pretty much force me to eat and drink. I can't even stay awake long enough to eat anything, but the doctors said that I have to because all the medicine I'm on right now will make me sick if I don't. But I'm getting too tired so i'm going to go take a nap.
Thanks Stacy, Dani, and Dustin for coming to visit me today. It was awesome. I <3 you!
ashley
Oh yeah and Stacy I don't know why I was thinking about this, but when you seen me today where did you say I looked like I came from..idk it was some movie or something...haha I don't remember what you said, but it made me laugh at the time when you said it.
3 Felt the pain... |
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 14 January :: 5.19pm
no not really. i'm already eating a sandwich. i'm done pretending thanks
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 13 January :: 4.02pm
ughghghhghg i think i hate myself. maybe i should stop being a bitch to everyone. well you dont know anyway
4 Felt the pain... |
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swimfan14
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2006 13 January :: 3.12pm
I missed school again today. I've been sick for the past few days, but this morning it was really bad. I woke up at around 3:30am and I had a fever, I thought I was going to throw up, I couldn't breathe, etc so I just started bawling and this morning I wanted to go to school, but then my mom seen me and she wouldn't let me go. We went to the doctors and at first they tested me for strep throat and it came back negative and the doctor said there is also a differen't kind that I could possiably have that doesn't show up on tests, but since they weren't sure they wanted to test me for mono and draw my blood and get a blood count. So anyways my mom and I are sitting there in the doctors office and then my mom was talking on her phone and they have a sign saying that you have to turn your phone off and we were waiting for the lady to come in to draw my blood and I thought my doctor said her name was Dino, but her name was really Dina and anyways I was being completely serious at this time because I seriously thought it was her name and i'm like "Mom, put your phone away, Dino will be here soon" and my mom just busted out laughing and she's like "Dino? Dino is a dinosaur! Her name is Dina, not Dino" and so then I was laughing because thats what I thought her name was and then all of the sudden she walked in and my mom hurried and put her phone away and she hung up while she was talking to my sister and I was laughing hysterically because I knew "Dina" was going to walk in and so then my mom goes "oh sure you laugh about it now but wait until the needle goes in" and she was trying to cover up and make it sound like I wasn't laughing at the lady and then I kept laughing still at how dumb my mom sounded and how she was lying lol. So I was pretty pissed off that they had to draw my blood because I'm scared of needles and it wasn't as bad as I thought but they don't know what I have until Monday. It really sucks because I'll fall asleep and when I wake up I always feel worse than I did before I fell asleep and I just start bawling again. It hurts so bad. I hate this. I hope that I don't have mono because I'm pretty sure I wont be at school for a long long time....
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 13 January :: 1.46pm
yeah i knew it'd be kind of like this. it's not that bad but i am not that strong... or something
ugh. i love you despite everything and anything. and yeah sorry but i could never deny that.
2 Felt the pain... |
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brokenmentality
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2006 13 January :: 8.58am
ok, so yesterday i was furious.
but i realize that it wasnt about talent....
and at least becky and i gave a piece of our minds and got to see the large animal turn red in the face and squirm like the pathetic lowly person she is.
AND i schedualed a facial yesterday... and after that, who could be upset?!
my skin feels so rejuvinated. everybody should experience one!
orgasmic... really.
*giggles.... later kids
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Brad
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2006 12 January :: 8.25pm
:: Mood: annoyed
Read
http://www.nbc-2.com/articles/readarticle.asp?articleid=5490&z=3&p=
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swimfan14
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2006 12 January :: 10.07am
School. I hate school. I don't want to go. It's lame lame lame.
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fallenfaces
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2006 12 January :: 6.39am
:: Music: Ani Difranco - Not a Pretty Girl
Sorry.
I'm not a kitten stuck up a tree somewhere.
Don't you think every kitten figures out how to get down whether or not you ever show up?
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.j.e.s.s.
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2006 11 January :: 6.45pm
ughghgh this afternoon is not going well..
the search for a new job is not going at all. and everything sucks and i'm sick of driving everywhere and i am REALLY sick of writing the same thing a THOUSAND times. about where i worked and who i am and where i live. omg. and i'm sick of hearing i need to be 18.
i have 41 unread messages in my email. and i just haven't checked it for only 2 days. so that means its probably massive amount of junk that despite my blocking is never going to stop getting to me
i saw some girl lying dead or hurt or something in the middle of fricken alpine as i was leaving. ugh just not a good image and not a good thing
my headlight is out.
i hate peopl.e
i have a headache like every day of my life i swear.
and yeah i forgot my psych book so there goes my huge assignment. i KNEW i 'd forget it. ughghg i swear i can't remember anything at ALL EVER!!
i ..roman. i mis s him so much.
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