Estuans Interius Ira Vehementi

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Estuans Interius Ira Vehementi

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:: 2008 25 October :: 4.11am
:: Mood: numb

"regret nothing, Live every day as if it we're your last"
Since red flannel I've learned alot about myself, alot more than I care to know.

I know now that I try and change myself to fit in with someone else.
I know what its like to say "I love you" and truly mean it
I have cried, I don't do that ever.
I have driven to points where I feel nothing at all, then I cut myself just to see if pain even exists, it doesn't.
I have compleatly handed my heart to someone
who had no idea what to do with it, and later crushed it.

I knew what I was getting into, she warned me, told me not to do it.
I've also learned to listen.
I've learned lies hurt more than the truth.

In the past month, I've felt the best I ever have in life, I feel the worst I ever have right now.

This girl has driven me to do things I've never considered ever before, I wish I could put into words the way I'm feeling now.

flexeril can't even take these feelings away.

When the time comes, just remember.
"Regret nothing and live every day as if its your last."

Erin Marie Crisp,

Again, I've never been as sorry as I am now about how much i hurt you.
again I'm sorry.

Justin McW,
You we're right, my knife is definatally not sharp enough.

2 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 22 October :: 11.28pm

Sons of Anarchy
so far on SoA i've recognized 2 songs

clutch - can't stop progress
Dropkick murphys - johnny i hardly knew ya

jax is a badass, plain and simple, throwing a guy through a glass door last week, then this week shooting him in the head.

also gemma's friend had a good one liner "six years of taking two in the ass while a teenager cums on
my face!"

2 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 22 October :: 6.16pm

So after a lot of discussing, we have highly considered moving to Wyoming..
The final decision isn't going to be up to me, because I am not the one that has a child.
Also, we are looking at getting an english bulldog puppy.
Im still waiting for my civil service date.
And at this rate, I don't think I am going to get in to take it until december.

2 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 19 October :: 11.11pm
:: Music: weigh on my mind - the transplants

I've made the decision to stop drinking so much, also i need to get some shit straightened out in my life.

and i bring some lyrics,

Read more..

3 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 21 October :: 10.50pm

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one laughing, the only one aware. I just can't shake the feeling that sometimes I see things in a way that no one else can even comprehend.

Central won against Western. For those of you who don't know, it's a big deal. There are five state troopers parked about two hundred yards away from my apartment to keep things "under control." This is probably the quietest Saturday night of the year as of yet.

:: 2008 18 October :: 3.28am
:: Mood: high

i see it, i wonder if they do too.

:: 2008 16 October :: 10.29pm

bowled a 102, 180, and 152. i'm feeling good.

:: 2008 16 October :: 4.26pm
:: Mood: accomplished

feeling great right now.
truck is in my driveway, hoodlatch is fixed, needs an oil change though, also needs the steering shaft u-joint or whatever, it kind of wanders.

I get to bowl tonight and i'm going to kick ass at it, fuck yeah!

:: 2008 16 October :: 2.34pm
:: Music: Sons and Daughters

To everyone who will never see this:
(This isn't about you. If you think it's about you, it's not. It's about a certain vous.)

Not everyone's religion is your religion. You can't just push your views on me and I can't just push my views on you.

I believe in God. But my god seems to be a little nicer than your god. And if that makes me wrong, or a heathen or whatever, I don't care. I'm living in a happy, nice world with a happy, nice God who loves everyone, where free will means free happiness and where people are happy and love each other. If that's not a world you like, that's fine because it's my world. And I'm happy here.

I just don't understand why anyone would want people to not be happy.

I don't understand how what you do makes you happy. Does judging others make you feel better? Does alienating your friends and family make you happy? If it does, then that's fine. I'd only ever want you to be happy. But if it doesn't? Why do you keep doing it?

I love you all.

5 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 16 October :: 2.49am

in my attempts to understand others, i still don't understand myself.

I wonder if I'll ever know exactly who I am.

3 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 15 October :: 4.25pm

I am withdrawing from chemistry. It is going to make me a happier person.

I'm taking French and three literary theory classes next semester. Probably.

:: 2008 14 October :: 6.39pm

alright,

truck just needs plates to drive now, insurance is transfered, brake lights didn't work, fixed those.

need to get the hood latch to work now, change the fluids, and i'll be good to go.

:: 2008 14 October :: 1.31pm

I think there is something fundamentally wrong with this country that Beverly Hills Chihuahua is the top film right now. Well it's better than Oliver Stone's piece of shit making money, apparently people aren't sheep enough to buy into his sack of garbage.

4 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 14 October :: 2.27am

I've decided to just take things for what they are.

I've also decided my new years resolution is to spend less time on this fucking computer.

:: 2008 13 October :: 7.40pm

dakota runs now.

it was corroded wiring, all i need to do now is bolt the box down, plates, and insurance.

2 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 16 October :: 7.58am

Monday.

Math at nine. Chemistry exam at ten that I feel like I'm going to fail, but I can't afford to.

French at one.

Follow up appointment with the doctor at three. Maybe I'll know what's going on then.

SGA at seven, meeting with Brothers at eight, eboard at nine, membership education meeting.

Oh, and I have to buy toilet paper sometime.

AHHHHHGGG!

:: 2008 13 October :: 12.12am

If you see the Metrodome Referees, they are wanted for Robbery. That is all.

4 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 11 October :: 12.14pm

MSU = #23 in the country baby! Javon Ringer ftw!

:: 2008 10 October :: 12.46pm

I had another dream about you last night. But it's ok.

4 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 10 October :: 11.46am

also, i bowled a 144, 151, and 170 last night

8 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 10 October :: 12.29am

again, i'm keeping her.

3 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 8 October :: 11.39pm

so... the girl across the street.

5 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 8 October :: 10.17pm
:: Mood: Bored out of my effing mind
:: Music: The Ting Tings- Great DJ

Durr
Well I figure I should at least update a bit. Went out and splurged on a few things. I shouldnt do that since I'm not sure when we will get back to work. Things with the gf arent so hot right now and we've been fighting quite a bit over stupid and well trivial things. I dont know what to do about the whole situation. I guess I'm just tired of being treated like a doormat. Anywho I have tomorrow off and got my effing car fixed so now i have transportation, but for how long. Looking at renting a place though but for cheap and can allow dogs so if anyone knows of a place be sure to let me know. :)

Umm... if anyone isnt busy tomorrow be sure to let me know since it seems I have free times and stuff. Who wants to watch Sleeping Beauty on Blu-ray ;-) yeah I'm a dork what of it. So yeah give me a call if you got the number if not here it is...right about now... 890-3624 so yeah c ya.

Joey

:: 2008 8 October :: 4.45pm

where's the beef
A Vegetarian Diet Shrinks the Brain
According to a new study, vegetarians and vegans are six times more likely to suffer from brain shrinkage than meat eaters.

The link was discovered after scientists at Oxford University ran memory tests, physical checks and brain scans on 107 people between the ages of 61and 87, and then retested them five years later.

Researchers speculate the loss of brain mass in vegetarians and vegans is due to a deficiency of Vitamin B12, which is found in meat, fish and eggs. This type of brain atrophy is linked to Alzheimer's Disease and other cognitive failings.

The decision to eat meat is often attacked by veggies, but it now seems as though these kinds of affronts may just be a product of small-mindedness.

4 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 7 October :: 12.27pm

I got a straight A on my contemporary theory paper about Existentialism.

Yay.

:: 2008 6 October :: 11.39pm

I'm in a really good mood right now. ^_^

:: 2008 6 October :: 3.57pm

I'm finally getting into the swing of things this semester. My French Prof. told me I was doing fine in response to my comments about how I don't feel comfortable speaking in class or volunteering yet on my first participation review. I have things going with the Fraternity and I went to Mu Delta's (the chapter at Western) first degree on Saturday night. I have everything prepared for the chapter field representative visit when she comes the first week of November, and all in all, things are going well.

I have my follow up appointment with the gastrointerologist in a week and I turn twenty one in two months.

I still hate chemistry, but I'm going to stick it out because I have to. I'm doing alright in math, and I still don't have a graded paper back from my English class.

If I could live without the thought of death,
Forgetful of time's waste, the soul's decay,
I would not ask for other joy than breath,
With light and sound of birds and the sun's ray.
I could sit on untroubled day by day
Watching the grass grow, and the wild flowers range
From blue to yellow and from red to grey
In natural sequence as the seasons change.
I could afford to wait, but for the hurt
Of this dull tick of time which chides my ear.
But now I dare not sit with loins ungirt
And staff unlifted, for death stands too near.
I must be up and doing -- ay, each minute.
The grave gives time for rest when we are in it.

-Wilfrid Blunt

:: 2008 5 October :: 2.38pm

Nick's little sister got married last night. She turns 20 in November. As much of a horrible ideas as I thought getting married at that age was, after it all, I am so happy for Jess and Ryan. They obviously love and care for each other quite a bit and share the same ideas and faith. They're both silly and a little ditzy. And besides, people probably think the idea of Nick and I getting married is ridiculous too.

In the end, I had so much fun dancing and dressing up and partying and celebrating with them that none of it mattered. Not waking up at 7 to get my hair sprayed into a fake updo at 8:45. Not getting my makeup done and feeling guilty about Nick's mom spending over 200 dollars. Not the stupid fights we had only weeks before. The only thing that mattered was seeing Jess walk down that aisle yesterday and feeling so happy for her. For everyone.

Congratulations, you two. And good luck.

I love you all.

1 slinked away | face the fox

:: 2008 5 October :: 1.27pm

underwear day was a success.

:: 2008 4 October :: 1.14am

tomorrow, red flannel, after party is at jenny's

you want to hang out with me tomorrow?
call the cell

616-835-2734

i'll be ooot and abooot all day.

4 slinked away | face the fox

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