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loner-skyz

:: 2004 3 April :: 10.42pm
:: Mood: mixed feelings
:: Music: Breaking The Habit - Linkin Park

wow
mum and dad have friends over.
this is bloody insane.
it's a quarter til 11 and they have friends over.
they're all just standing around the kitchen eating chips and pie, guzzling soda, beer, and champagne. what the hell is wrong?
and they're probably going to watch a movie.
did i mention these people live like an hour away?
so if they watch a movie at about 11 it'll be over at about 12:45ish and then they have to drive home so that's about 1:45ish and yeah.
what is my life turning into?
this is so crazy.
they're just standing around making what seems like after dinner conversation.
that's when civilized people have friends over.
dinner.
not "hey come on over at about 9 and stay until 1ish."
what the hell is that?
this is crazy.
at least it's not a party.
at least there's four people downstairs.
not just the two of them.
i hate when the two of them stay up late drinking.
especially when the next day they go out and expect me to clean it all up.
which i always do.
what's wrong with me?
grrr.
made $20 babysitting tonight.
5:30-8:30
yeah.
the neighbors totally over pay me.
im just like "okay..."
lol.
she just hands me a twenty.
bloody insane.
that's what my life is turning into.
a mess of bloody insanity.
yes, yes.
though something in me kinda likes it.
oddish.
-holly-

hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 3 April :: 3.20pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: randomly morbid and depressing songs

::sigh::
dance.
i dont really feel like talking about it.
i danced with justin once.
i didnt go with tay to the junkyard and i feel really bad about that.
i had to get a ride home w/ mrs. akers cos my parents went out, feel bad about that too.

im babysitting hunter and taylor at 5:30
which means i have to get out of these dumpy pjs and actually put something on. that means i have to wake up and look happy.
i have to have fun.
god dammit, why did i agree?
bleh.
evil.
i hate weekends.
i want justin.
he makes me feel better.
always.
amy and zach were "slow dancing" the whole time.
which was basically them holding eachother during every single god damn song.
why didn't i see the signs?
it was so clear.
i could have saved her.
but now emma is gone.
replaced by this stupid little amy bitch that im pretending i like.
::sigh::
i wanna cry.
where's a gun when you need it?
-holly-

hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 3 April :: 2.17pm
:: Mood: not too bad
:: Music: random country songs running through my head


You're Sam Moon!!



rawr.
it looks like the fearless series is ending at 37.
grr.
angerfying.
::sigh::
they've been kinda going downhill though.
arg.
i need to get some images up loaded at antishift.net
so i'll be doing that....
then i'll post about the dance.
tehe.
-holly-

hug


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 3 April :: 12.42pm
:: Mood: grr...pissed
:: Music: eh, some cooking show

[ series 1 - your ]
-- Name : marissa
-- Birthday : nov 16th 1988
-- Birthplace : oceanside, NY
-- Current Location : east rockaway, NY
-- Eye Color : hazely
-- Hair Color : brown with blonde highlights
-- Righty or Lefty : righty
-- Zodiac Sign : scorpio
-- Font : tahoma baby!


[ series 2 - your favorite ]
-- Music : anything really - rock,metal,punk
-- Cartoon : umm rocket power?
-- Color : red/black
-- Rose: i love red roses :)
-- Slushy Flavor : umm idk
-- Magazine : cosmopolitan (theres sex stuff in there)
-- TV Show : any day now,everwood,7th heaven
-- Song at the Moment: the reason (hoobastank)
-- Language : english (cause i can speak it)
-- Spice Girl : i dont really remember...
-- Food & Beverage : cheesy fries from outback and uhh diet coke
-- Subject in School : ummm lets say health issues
-- Weekend Activity : going to concerts
-- Ice Cream Flavor : cake batter w.crunch bar from coldstone :)
-- Roller Coaster : i dont like em

[ series 3 - what is ]
-- Your most overused phrase on aol : lol,brb,bbl,bbs
-- The last image/thought you go to sleep with : derek<3
-- The first feature you notice in the opposite sex : eyes
-- The Best Name for a Butler : maxwell
-- The wussiest sport: not sure....
-- Your best feature : my hair
-- Your bedtime : umm i dont really have one
-- Your greatest fear : umm idk
-- Your greatest accomplishment : honor roll?
-- Your most missed memory : the cruise :)


[ series 4 - you prefer ]
-- Pepsi or coke : coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King : mcdonalds
-- Single or group dates : single
-- Adidas or Nike : adidas
-- Chicken nuggets or chicken fingers : chicken fingers baby
-- Dogs or cats : cats, my cat
-- Rugrats or Doug : rugrats
-- Single or taken : taken
-- Monica or Brandy : i can't tell you, i dont really know
-- Tupac or Jay-Z : neither
-- Shania Twain or LeAnn Rhymes : fuck you with all your BS music
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea : nesteaaaa
-- One pillow or two : one
-- Chocolate or vanilla : chocolate
-- Hot chocolate or hot cocoa : hot chocolate
-- Cappucino or coffee : coffee
-- Boxers or briefs: boxers baby ;)

[ series 5 - do you ]
-- Take a shower everyday? : pretty much
-- Have a(any) crush(es)? : yes i do :)
-- do you think you've been in love? : yes
-- Want to go to college? : uh huh
-- Like high school? : no, i hate it
-- Want to get married : yes i do
-- Type with your fingers on the right keys? : yeah i do
-- Believe in yourself? : not at all
-- Have any tattoos/where? : don't got any
-- Have any piercings/where? : 1 in each ear :)
-- Get motion sickness? : in elevators
-- Think you're a health freak? : not at all
-- Get along with your parents? : with my mom, but not with my dad at all
-- Like thunderstorms? : ah, they scare me!

[ series 6 - the future ]
-- Age you hope to be married : 23
-- Number and Names of Children : 2 adopted, shoshanna and ryan
-- Where do you see yourself at age 20? : college
-- Descibe your Dream Wedding : just being with the man i love all night long <3
-- How do you want to die? : in my sleep
-- What do you want to be when you grow up? : psychologist,radio broadcaster on like z100 would be fun too
-- What country would you most like to visit? : austrailia

[ series 7 - opposite sex ]
-- Best eye color? : blue
-- Best hair color? : dark brown
-- Short or long hair? : crew cut :)
-- Best height? : 5'6" or up
-- Best weight? : that doesn't matter to me
-- Best articles of clothing? : pants?
-- Best first date location? : walking around holding hands
-- Best first kiss location? : anywhere
-- What facial feature do you find the most attractive? : eyes

[ series 8 - other ]
-- When's the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? : not too long ago
-- How many rings until you answer the phone? : depending
-- What's on your mouse pad? : nothing
-- How many houses have you lived in? : 4
-- How many schools have you gone to? : 7
-- What color is your bedroom carpet? : i have wood floors
-- Would you shave your head for $5,000 dollars? : NEVER, i loveeee my hair!
-- What was the best time of your life so far? : nothing really
-- Would you vote for a woman candidate for president? if she was better than everyone else
-- Would you marry for money? : nope
-- Have you had braces? : nahhh
-- Do you pluck your eyebrows? : no, i have my signature triangle on my left eyebrow
-- Do you ever cut or hurt yourself? : sometimes i dig my fingernails into my arm
-- Would you live without a computer? : no...lol
-- Do you drink enough water? : sometimes
-- Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: not usually
-- What is your favorite fruit? : cherries, im addicted :)
--Do you eat wheat bread or white bread? : wheat, cause thats what mommy buys
-- What is the last movie you saw? : i really couldn't tell you
-- Do you kiss on the first date? : sometimes...if it feels right
-- Are you photogenic? : not at all
-- Do you dream in colour or black and white? : i dream in both :)
-- Are you wearing fingernail polish? : acrylic tips with red polish!
-- Do you have any dimples? : dimples are only in the middle of your cheeks..no.
-- Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most? : both
-- Do you want to live to be 100?: if im healthy, yeah
-- Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair? : ummmm idk
-- Do you like salty food or sugary food the most? : salty - im a salt fiend
-- Is a flat stomach important to you? : important? nahh
-- Do you or have you played with a ouija board? : haha yeah
-- Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs? : unless there extremely degrading to another person, yes
-- When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off? : off
-- Do you believe in magic? : yeahh
-- Do you have nightmares frequently? : no but i have WEIRD ASS dreams
-- Do you like your nose?: haha, yeah im happy i didnt get the big jewish/italian nose that runs in my family
-- Do you think you can draw well? : nahh
-- Do you listen to music daily? : yeahh
-- Do you like to watch cartoons? : not really
-- How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet? : over 10
-- Do you like your friends? : they wouldn't be my friends if i didnt like them

5 things that scare you:
1. dying
2. rapists
3. being in a car going really fast
4. the dark, sometimes
5. neat freaks

5 things that make you laugh:
1. idiots
2. my friends
3. people who are dickasses to you and then try to be your friend
4. prank phone calls
5. me- lmfao

5 things you love:
1. my friends
2. metal music
3. concerts
4. my cell phone
5. derek<3

5 things you hate:
1. when CDs skip
2. when people are mean
3. when people steal things
4. boy bands
5. the snow

5 things you don't understand:
1. depression
2. suicide
3. my life
4. why people steal
5. cliques

Right now you are:
1. talking to corey on the phone, ughh
2. talking to matt on the computer
3. being mad
4. thinking
5. loving derek <3

please fill out the entry before this :(

hug


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 3 April :: 1.16am
:: Mood: lethargic
:: Music: some TV show i dont know

1. Your name (optional):
2. What You Think About Me:
3. Am I one of your friends?:
4. Am I nice to you?:
5. HONESTLY do you think I'm Hot, Pretty, Cute, OK, Ugly, Disgusting?:
6. Do you ever think about me off line?:
7. What do you like best about me?:
8. What annoys you most about me?:
9. Two words to describe me:
10. Do you notice a strange habit I have?:
11. What is the nicest thing I have done for you?:
12. When you hear my name what do you think of?:
13. What is my best feature?:
14. What person do you picture me with?:
15: Where do you think we'll be in 10 years?
16: Do we spend a lot of time together? If so, what was one of the best times we've ever had together?

Opposite Sex
17. Would you ever go out with me?
18. Would you ever kiss me?
19. Would you ever take a trip to a deserted island with me?

Put an 'X' or a remark for Each one that Refers to Me
20. Outgoing -
21. Shy -
22. Caring -
23. Nice -
24. Sweet -
25. Mean -
26. Weird -
27. Crazy -
28. Smart -
29. Stupid -
30. Dark -
31. Bright -
32. Funny -
33. Freaky -

34. Say anything about me:


im lazy,fill this out...please?¿?

7 Bites | hug


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 2 April :: 10.22pm
:: Mood: kinda happy
:: Music: cradle of filth

im in my new apartment :) most of our stuff is in here except that i don't have a bed or any furniture, lmfao. well, im really tired and my back is KILLING me. i have to hang my clothes up and stuff and blah blah blah. well, i hope that everyone's weekend is going well i will update when i actually have something to write about - I LOVE YOU GUYS!

->brian i love you, thank you for all the hard work you put in helping me move in :P xo <3

iheartderek<3

2 Bites | hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 2 April :: 3.44pm

okay, dude this is hilarious.
i have no idea how i came across this, but go look here
http://www.woohu.com/~the_useless/profile/
the user pic.
it's soooo funny.
i was laughing.
-holly-

hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 2 April :: 3.42pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Rock-a My Soul

Quiz Me
naya was
a Large King
in a past life.

Discover your past lives @ Quiz Me

hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 31 March :: 8.37pm
:: Mood: stomache ache
:: Music: Breaking the Habit - Linkin Park

i has to go soon, but yeah.
i haven't updated in awhile.
grr.
i feel sick.
uberly sick.
im going to be perfect.
perfect, but not a prep.
good luck with the prep thing mindy.
i love you no matter who you are.
-holly-

1 Bite | hug


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 30 March :: 11.16pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: the reason-hoobastank (its me and dereks song)

1) Using band names, spell out your name:
Maroon 5
A static lullaby
Rage against the machine
Incubus
Sepultura
Slayer
Atreyu

2) Have you ever had a song written about you?:
lol, i've tried
3) What song makes you cry?:
good charlotte - hold on

4) What song makes you happy?
the reason - hoobastank (because its me and dereks song)

5) What do you like to listen to before bed?
anything really

a p p e a r a n c e
HEIGHT: 4'10" and proud mofo
HAIR COLOR: dark brown with blonde highlights
SKIN COLOR: peachy?
EYE COLOR: hazel
PIERCINGS: my ears
TATTOOS: nahh

r i g h t n o w
WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: my bat mitzvah pants
WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: until the day i die - story of the year
WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: nada
WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: cold :-/
HOW ARE YOU?: i heart derek, other then that ehh

d o y o u
GET MOTION SICKNESS?: not really...except in hospital elevators
HAVE A BAD HABIT?:yahh
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?: most of the time

f a v o r i t e s
TV SHOW: any day now
CONDITIONER: herbal essences
BOOK: frank mccourt (im in the process of reading it)
MAGAZINE: cosmopolitan
NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: ice tea
ALCOHOLIC DRINK: skyy vodka and cranberry juice/mikes
THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: parties,concerts,hang out with my friends
BAND OR GROUP or SINGER or RAPPER: ummm lets say smile empty soul

h a v e y o u
BROKEN THE LAW: yeah
RAN AWAY FROM HOME: nope
SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: yeah
EVER GONE SKINNY DIPPING: yeah i have
MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: yes, i have
EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: nope, can't say i have
USED YOUR PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: she knew, but yeah
SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: nope i haven't
FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: lol deff
BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: yeah, 8th grade was the last one
LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: of course

l o v e
BOYFRIEND: single...but i hope not to be soon cause he's amazing <3
GIRLFRIEND: never, im sorry
SEXUALITY: hetero baby
CHILDREN: i wanna adopt 2
CURRENT CRUSH: derek
BEEN IN LOVE?: yeah, and my heart was broken when he moved to florida :(
HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: i miss joey <3
BEEN HURT?: yeah, i have plenty of times
YOUR GREATEST REGRET: going out with mafia man
GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: umm no
r a n d o m
DO YOU HAVE A JOB: no, but i need one...you have one for me?
YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: my mixtape of greenday,yellowcard,creed and hoobastank
IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: black, definitly black
WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: being with my friends
WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: derek
WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: im not sure
WHO DO YOU CONSIDER GOOD FRIENDS?: honest caring people
WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO?: go to concerts

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
TIME YOU CRIED?: the other day
YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: i dont remember
YOU GOT E-MAIL: yesterday
THING YOU PURCHASED: cake batter and crunch bar ice cream from coldstone
TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: jerry springer
MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: uhhh i dont remember

y o u r t h o u g h t s o n
ABORTION: i dont really agree, but im kinda pro-choice
TEENAGE SMOKING: i haven't had a cigarette in 3 weeks, are you proud?
SPICE GIRLS: they were amazing
DREAMS: i have WEIRD ass dreams

i talked to derek today on the phone for a while and he played guitar for me and he called me to say goodnight. he is amazing. we decided today that hoobastank the reason is our song

dmbmustang8766: i love u 2 babi
->aw i definitly love this kid :)

i heart derek
i miss joey so much
i love bacci

6 Bites | hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 29 March :: 4.08pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: Too Much of Heaven - Eiffle 65

rawr
i have a pretty good day.
which makes me wonder why ive been such a bitch all day.
grr.
what's wrong with me?
people are finally being nice and im just gunna be a royal bitch?
just cos i had to come back home from my blissfull state of raven-ness?
IM A BITCH.
what's the fuck is wrong with me?!?
hannah is being so nice, adam and ryan are becoming good friends (with me and eachother), tay is.......well, yeah.
JENNI is being nice to me...
everything is pretty much middle school perfect for me.
yet im treating everyone horribly.
being all sarcastic and bitchy.
I HATE MYSELF!
is this why she hated being here?
the uncontrollable bitchyness?
cos i hate it.
i want out.
this is why i wanted out before.
and then she went and turned me into an even bigger bitch.
blaiming the whole thing on me.
saying i "made her stay"
that she "couldn't force me to come back"
yeah, i didnt really wanna come back, but she was the one who started it.
SHE suggested the whole thing in the first place.
so i am not the only bitch around here.
not that she's still here.
she's back to her fucking perfect world with her great boyfriend, her AE clothes, incrediable body, perfect family, and all that shit.
RAWR.
why the hell did i even like her?
evil bitch.
-holly-

hug


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 28 March :: 1.02pm
:: Mood: lazy
:: Music: i hate everything about you- 3 days grace

Name::Marissa
Nicknames?::riss,rissa,mariss,riss-ma,lil pisster,pissa
Age::15
Birthday::november 16
Where you living?::new york
Height::4'10"
Weight::ummmmm
Favorite Clothes::jeans and a tshirt
Favorite Shoes::etnies
Hair Color::brown with blonde highlights
Eye Color::hazel
Glasses?::nah
Braces?::nope
Piercings?::in my ears
Tattoos?::nopes
Choose or Lose
Morrissey or Marr?::morrissey
Wendy's, Burger King or McDonalds?:wendys
New York or Los Angeles?:los angeles
Paper or Plastic?:plastic
1980s or 1990s?:90's
Fruit or Veggies?:fruit
rock or rap?:rock
sun or moon?:moon
winter break, summer break or spring break?:spring break
Kerry or Bush?:kerry
good or bad?:bad
Now a bunch of giggling 10 year old girls run in
gay straight or what?:straight
describe who you want to be in a relationship with:derek<3
Describe your last ex:ummm flamer.
Now you name some favorites
Movie:schindlers list,gothika,jack,jawbreaker,shallow hal
Song:maroon5-this love
Band:korn,maroon5,something corporate,killswitch engage
TV Show:7th heaven,any day now,everwood
Fast Food Place:wendys
Class at School or activity at work:activity at work
Cereal:cinnamon life
Now I ask you about ur friends:funny,nice,fun to be around
Whos your best friend?:sammi and jaymes
Name the first thing that comes to your mind when u hear...
dog:barking
trees:tall
dishes:dirty
Linkin Park:numb
Adobe:huh?
Paul McCartney:idk!
Hawaii:hot
Supply and Demand:toys?
Savings and Loan:moneyyyy
sex:guys
snow:white
past:is gone
regret:everything i've done
Mexico:pretty
drill:saw?

Let's Take A Survey brought to you by BZOINK!

2 Bites | hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 28 March :: 7.52am

yay
i finally got the clock on here to pretty much work
it's just like 20 min fast.
bleh.
somethings are worthless

hug


loner-skyz

:: 2004 28 March :: 7.27am
:: Mood: angry
:: Music: Lightning Crashes - Live

gr
i is made at myself.
uberly mad.
i was supposed to get up for sunrise.
DAMMIT.
i can do it tomorrow, but i dont want to.
grrrr.
angerfying.
i really wanted to get it done today, but my clock fell down last night and the battery fell out.
i didn't find out until this morning at 6:32.
rawr.
im so stupid.
evilish.
but i found the live song.
yay.
-holly-

hug


LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 27 March :: 10.29pm
:: Mood: flirty
:: Music: ace of base - its a beautiful life

fun with the boys and then the girls
soo last night was aright. i went to dance then came home and took a shower and then brian,joelle,and eric came over and we chilled in my house for a little then they decided to go to taco bell so joelle drove us and then i went back home and i got a call from kristi and her,leslie,and paris came over and then we drank. it was fun, i lovvvvvve the boces girls sooo fucking much :)

well, saturday was shit - went to charlie browns for dinner then got some coldstone. took some things to the new apartment.

i heart you od

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