Kitten's Journal

Kitten's Journal

:: 2004 7 March :: 6.06pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: The Scientist - Coldplay

Hehe.
mum and dad just got home.
I had fun while they were gone.
Got on MSN messanger...had a webcam convo with rinku.
talked to joseph and keya.
I looked like a cheap whore..
In my brown mini skirt and a low cut shirt.
and FISHNETS.
joseph said i should wear it to school sometime and see what people said.
hm...
I'm so happy to be back.
I kinda missed doing all this stupid stuff.
lol.
I think I'll make some more scars tonight...
I had a lucid dream 2 nights ago.
Saturday night.
twas awesome.
I woke up when I realised I was dreaming though.
Realised it, started to change something, and then woke up.
::sigh::
But it's progress.
Hold on, gotta go get some mail.
Something from Amy...Amy from camp.
Let's see what it is.
A magazine thing...hmmmm
have to talk that over with mum.
and a spring newsletter from Creative Treasures.......yeah.
And of course 4-H stuff.
Nifty.
I got a lot of mail today.
lol.
That'll be all I get for months though.
::sobs::
Nobody ever sends me mail.
hehe.
I should go...and do other shit.
later,
Holly

hug

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 7 March :: 9.46am
:: Mood: alittle tired
:: Music: nothingface

going to meet the new landlord when my mom gets home - i hope he likes us, my mom seems to like the house plus i can go to PACE still because the house is in east rockaway about 6/10ths of a mile or something? lol!

i<3richie

2 Bites | hug

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 7 March :: 12.41am
:: Mood: chipper
:: Music: blink 182

nothing really to update about
i dont really have anything to update about. i took a survey and i was gonna post it here but i accidentally deleted it. OH WELL. well, i went to bellmore for about an hour and hung out with bryan (that was fun...not) then i took the train home and i saw sammsta and jenn <-i love those girls with all my heart. i went home and i talked on the phone for alittle bit and now im about to call richie. blahh aright lovers have a good day!

i<3richie
derek is sexy
jaymes bfffl
OD we had some good times
tim=amazing
josh has a NICE CRACK!

hug

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 6 March :: 1.34pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: dont want you back - eamon

well, im bored amy left like an hour ago? im babysitting my little sister alexis. bryan just came on and im going to his house around 7 and i dont know when im leaving. OD got me in the worst mood yesterday before dance but i really dont wanna talk about it and maybe if you guys are lucky i'll update about everything that he said later. i wanted to get fucking twisted last night. close, but no ciagar. i went to amy's house for alittle and we watched american pie and then her dad drove us back to my house cause we were gonna meet up with brian and 3 of his boys. that didn't work out too well because they got pulled over for speeding - GRRR and then they went home. i talked to bobby last night for alittle but thats it. hopefully tonight i'll get fucking twisted as hell :-/

i<3richie

hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 5 March :: 5.27pm
:: Mood: evil
:: Music: green day..lots of it

rawr
holly is back.
::sigh::
yes, yes.
i've had so much fun soaring around and being a raven, but i think that i'm done. for awhile.
im definatly done for this year.
maybe i'll go away this summer
i dunno.
cant deside...
::sigh::
why am i sighing so much?
cos i haven't been able to for so long maybe.
whatever.
ack.
my batteries are dying.
EVIL.
lol.
why the hell am i so hyper today?
i feel so uberly sick, but kinda hyper.
hehe.
and evilish.
yeah......
i has a piece of tape on my face...from grant.
:-D
justin wasn't at school today.
broke his promise.
"i never miss a days"
"i'll be there tomorrow, promise"
RAWR.
love is stupid.
love is a four letter word for broken hearts.
::sobs::
but i'm the one who broke his heart.
grrr.
-holly-

hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 3 March :: 5.11pm
:: Mood: angerfied
:: Music: Warning-Greenday

holly is coming back tomorrow.
rawr.
tonight i suppose.
this sucks.
i don't want to leave.
i've been here so long that i don't really want to go home anymore.
i like it here.
but holly wants her stupid life back.
maybe she'll see how fucked up it is and then go back to being a raven.
i dont wanna leave.
-naya-

1 Bite | hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 1 March :: 6.28pm
:: Mood: headache
:: Music: Celebrity- Brad Paisley

rawr.
keya didn't update her blog
::evil stare::
that's okay, i still wuv you keya.
lol.
i cut my sholder.
hehe.
it hurt, but it was a relief.
does that make any sense?
bleh.
cutting myself is a relief, but sometimes it hurts.
yeah...
i have to get some more pictures up on antishift.
it wasn't working earlier.
i could try it again.
cos i uploaded some nice pics of me....and some of noel and stryder.
yayz.
i'll go do that now.
and then eat dinner.
yeah.
-naya-

hug

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 29 February :: 9.47am
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: switchfoot - we were meant to live

soo last night biancas mom picked me and amy up at my house and dropped me,amy, bianca,and christina off at 7-11. we had some guy to buy us beer but the 7-11 guy said that he knew it was for us so he wouldn't sell it to him, we were soo fucking mad. so finally amy found someone to get weed and we walked to KFC in oceanside and waited there. while we were waiting an undercover cop in a crown victoria with tinted windows that were rolled half up tells us that he's a taxi and asks us for a ride we were like nahh no thanks. umm i think he was trying to get us for prostitution - lol. soo amy gets the weed and shit and then we had no where to smoke it so we walked down lawson and everyone smoked. then we start walking towards wendys and we notice someone is following us and we got scared - HAHA even though it was only big black mike, lolz. sooo we get to wendys and were just chilling there and then biancas mom calls her and her and christina left. then amy called brian and we walked back to my house and yeah i tried to get eric over here,and then eddie and then kyle but none of it worked cause it was like 1 in the morning sooooo today im going to go with my mom to get my grandma to the doctor. should be fun times update later :)

iheartodandrichieandhim

3 Bites | hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 28 February :: 7.02pm
:: Mood: tortured
:: Music: Where I Come From- Alan Jackson

just got back from sam's house. went there last night. her mum and krista got back from jamaica. missions trip. yeah. so we chilled at their cousins house while den and doug went to get the ppl at the airport. twas fun. her cousins are so uberly cute. breanna has bangs now. yeah. sam, shy, and i watched vh1. one hit wonders. #2 was soft cell's tainted love
that song is so fucking cool.
yeah and then we went back to sam's and sam and i went to the basement and talked until like 2.
religon, friendship, my artwork, and she also interegated me about the voices. yeah.
today we just kinda hung around, watched the swan princess (that's such a cute movie), went out with camillish.
omigosh we were like walking around in this fieldish thing and like there's this lil shack/storm shelter thing that we were looking around in and then when we walked out sam screams and is like "there's a guy over there" we all took off running. yeah. then we figured out that we all saw him different. sam saw him as a balding dude, grey. camillish saw him with dark hair, and blue and a cap on. i saw his just a dark brown figure. he had his back turned to us, that's the only thing we all definatly know.
::sigh::
mum and dad went to famous dave's and the mall. they were going to sears. no idea why.
left about an hour ago ive gathered. dunno.
whatever.
yesterday was the 27th......
grr.
im so fucking stupid.
-naya-

1 Bite | hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 28 February :: 7.02pm
:: Mood: tortured
:: Music: Where I Come From- Alan Jackson

hug

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 28 February :: 11.34am
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: a static lullaby- lipgloss and letdown

well, i called corey back to tell him i love him and no answer or answering machine - whatever i tried, but thats it. i'll update later tonight when i get home if i go out :-/

i think im gonna start deleting my friends because no one ever comments and it really sucks sooooo IF YOU DONT WANNA BE DELETED post a comment here. ALSO if you wanna be added i'll add you if you comment

<3 laterz

4 Bites | hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 27 February :: 5.01pm
:: Mood: alone..but not lonely
:: Music: Sims music

Wow...
Today has been uberly fun.
Hehe.
I got up at like 8:30, and fed Stryder.
Then I got on the computer.
Been on AIM and Sims all day. Hehe.
And tons of people have called.
Some forgein telemarketer called, Daniella, the library, Sam, and Tori just called a minute ago.
rawr.
Twas funny when the telemarketer called cos he was doing this survery thing. He's like "Do you have cable television?" and I'm like "Mm-hmm." and so he's like "How many televisions do you have in your homes?" And I go "Ummm......." and then hung up.
Hehe.
Stupid telemarketers.
Bleh.
I've only eaten popcorn today. Twas really good though. Cinnamin popcorn. Nummers.
It sucks not having Justin to talk to, but I'm surviving I suppose.
::sigh::
HE GOT HIS PERMIT!
hehe.
tis beautimous.
Oh and I drew a picture/collage of depression yesterday.
I'm almost done.
Tis morbidly awesome.
Think that's about it.
Peace,
naya

hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 25 February :: 3.52pm
:: Mood: happy
:: Music: Strawberry Wine -Deanna Carter

I figured it out
"We are the broken people." Something that Enna says all the time. I figured out why today. It just hit me when we were leaving lunch. Maybe it was the image of the three of us (Keya, Justin, and I) walking through those doors, all our heads bowed, with sad faces that made me realise. It refers to the three of us, We are the broken people
I'm growing to wonder about the voices. Where are the they really? I know Jackson is in jail, but what about Enna, what about Echo...Lily....who is gone now. But Enna and Jackson. I wonder if they're real people. I wonder if I'm a voice in someone's head. You know what else I realised? It's Enna who keeps me barely eating, and hurting myself. She brings me down. Tells me I'm not worth anything. She's like the voices they talked about in the anorexic video. But it's Jackson who keeps me alive. Who tells me how beautiful I am. That I'm loved by Justin and Keya, and him, and all my other friends. Sometimes it doesn't matter to me who wins between them. They're growing to hate eachother. I love them both though.
They're so diverse...so....mine.
Even if they do end up hurting me and getting me into the looney bin, in the long run I love them, and they're always there for me.
-naya-

hug

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 25 February :: 8.10am
:: Mood: awake
:: Music: everyone smoking cigarettes outside yelling

i missed the bus,my mom is mad and drove me to school. i got to school 20 minutes before i ever would have. oh well, i'll update about the day when i get home, k?

bye<3

4 Bites | hug

loner-skyz

:: 2004 24 February :: 3.55pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: Yellow- Coldplay

I almost threw up a few times today. In civics..and health. I cut myself during study hall. Mrs. Blowers is so friggin blind. Just sitting up at her desk reading the latest edition of People magazine "WHY I QUIT SEX!" right on the front cover...yeah, that's school appropriate
Then I went to the bathroom when everybody got out of first lunch. Went and talked to Keya at her locker. Then went to the bathroom and tried to throw up. I didn't purge though...I hate doing that. I just tried to bring it up. I think I might of gotten it up, but some evil chick walked in and I had to stop. It was a prep, so it probably wouldn't have mattered anyways. We could've been two eating disorder chicks in the bathroom together. But I didn't wanna take the chance. It's hard to tell which ones still are. But math was fun. Math was uberly fun. Grant and I talked to whole time. hehe... We're getting to be pretty good friends. He gave me gum today..said it helped with upset stomachs.
rawr.
I have a headache.
-naya-

hug