Rina
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2004 18 August :: 1.15pm
:: Mood: crazed. i'm going insane, really.
:: Music: somebody help me - full blown rose
such fickle words
no school for the rest of the week.
stupid fucking charley.
we've had a total of four days of school. and i would like to go back and see all of my friends in my classes. grah.
im still having really messed up dreams.
last night consisted of obstacle courses, being blind, and running down dusty hills.
anyways. so far in school, chem is my favorite because winter kicks ass.
everyone thinks he is gay though, and i wouldnt be suprised if he was. not to sound stereotypical.
and i learned how to play piano yesterday.
im not very good, i can only do one song from memory.
but ive written a few songs. and im trying to get the melody on the piano, so i can transfer it to guitar.
"and i dream of a place called home."
5 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 18 August :: 2.03am
junior, the floor's on fire!
9 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 17 August :: 2.43pm
old pimp donald had some studs, and one of them was joe
does anyone else think it's excellent how joe managed to get the most comments on his past two entries -- which were both only 1 sentence long -- out of all of our entries? no wonder the ladies love him.
10 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 16 August :: 12.34am
from "The Mothman Prophecies"
John Klein: I think we can assume that these entities are more advanced than us. Why don't they just come right out and tell us what's on their minds?
Alexander Leek: You're more advanced than a cockroach, have you ever tried explaining yourself to one of them?
1 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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alastar
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2004 14 August :: 6.36pm
Crime scene wiped clean.
I sit here quietly just like you commanded. I love the way your mouth moves when you demand it. Silent in darkness and scared on your bed, I feel cold and alone with no sign of regret. It was time to go but you wanted more. And time can wait when you’re dead on the floor. I’ll wait till sunrise then slip out of your room, after one last check to see if you’ll move. There’s no evidence to be collected. When your friends show up they’ll call the detective. They know it was me by the look on your face, but there’s not enough proof to prove the case. And I remember it so clearly, now. I yelled to you but you didn’t hear me. You were on your way in, as I watched you again. And you’re so beautiful for a girl who knows it. My body’s slow when yours is in motion. You lock the door before you close it, but it’s easy to break in with the windows open. And you were always so hard to catch. You kept me far off and out of breath, but I finally gave you some time to rest. And now you’re slow with a knife in your chest.
the end is here
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alastar
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2004 13 August :: 3.00pm
ah, how nice it is to be back
Well, i redid the Graves of Sadness, and wrote two more parts. Here they are.
The Graves of Sadness – Part 1: The Death
Deep down in the graves of sadness
The dead sleep with nightmares of madness
As he walks he sees nothing but night
A cry of terror a cry of fright,
Is then thrown from a soul un-kept
A life is stolen and all except,
The dream is taken, it drifts away
Into the night where it will stay
And everyone, unaware
Will walk around without a care
But the one who knows it
Won’t forget, but never shows it
Then the tale will be told
The story forever long and old
He thinks he thought it up one night
But the memory remains inside the mind
And to recall without the sight
Everything he once left behind
He will be killed in his sleep
So the secret he is sure to keep
Down in his grave of sadness
With nightmares full of sadness
He awakens one night to find
He’s not the only one without a mind
Stole from him the only way
They know to have the secret stay
The Graves of Sadness – Part 2: The Grave
Now forgotten in sadness
Forever lost within madness
The secret stays underground
Within the one person that it found
Before being caught that day
Now gone and locked away
Trapped in the earth deep down
Waiting to awakened and let out
Kept alive by only the secret
And the knowledge that he can’t keep it
He will know this truth forever
As the last thing that he remembers
Of a life lived so barely alive
While being so close to dead inside
That is why it must be told
The story forever long and old
So he can finally rest in peace
Far away from its disease
Until then he lives on restless sleep
Deep in the graves of sadness
With a secret he can’t keep
And nightmares full of madness,
Made of ghosts that are only figments
Of a mind that’s so malignant
He tells himself so he won’t forget
But he knows it can’t if he hasn’t yet
The Graves of Sadness – Part 3: The Awakening
Once dead he awakens again
His life so far from the end
Resurrecting himself back from death
Brought back with life’s last breath
And he breathes because it’s imposed
Now no longer is the grave closed
He sits up screaming life into the night
And is met by what causes his fright
Memories of that night, so long ago
They will always last but the scars never show
And the pain inside is slowly maddening
All the grief and the memories saddening
Then he slowly remembers his mission
The reason a second life was given
He spreads it over the world like a wave
In one silent scream from the grave
Into the cold night air it flows
As the one secret everyone knows
And the nightmare slowly fades away
Into the night where it will stay
As a reminder of that haunted season
So many dead without a reason
But now the killer has been found
And buried deep within the ground
Inside the graves of sadness
As his own nightmare of madness
the end is here
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Rina
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2004 13 August :: 11.43am
:: Mood: curious
:: Music: rasmus
i awake to find no peace of mind
its hard for me to explain what happened over the summer.
my perspectives shifted. i think differently on topics than i did before, but i guess that's natural. i will show pictures when i can. because pictures replacing words is becoming evermore common in our society.
but ive had two nightmares. one is long and strange. its too long to type. if you really want to know (which i doubt you do) then just tell me and i will.
but my other nightmare is different. i didn't feel scared during it. and although you may call me morbid, or twisted, or delusional, in a sense it was almost beautiful.
i still dont know why i categorize it as a nightmare, but i guess its the only word that can describe it.
a guy that is 18 years old wearing faded denim jeans is dragging a girl by the hair across a cement floor. her hair is blond and she is clawing at this boy's arm, but he doesn't notice.
and the girl looks like she is screaming her lungs out. crying and screaming for her life. but all i hear is opera music.
and i can remember it so vividly.
she didn't open her eyes. i only saw the boy's legs. but i knew he was 18. don't ask how, its a dream. her top was a beige-ish color, and it was smudged with dirt along the shoulder. the guy was wearing dark brown shoes, they kind of looked like boots.
but i just heard this beautiful opera music.
i cant even describe it.
4 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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Rina
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2004 12 August :: 5.57pm
:: Mood: blank
:: Music: yellow
what's left thats worth anything anymore?
i = layout whore.
the end is here
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Rina
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2004 11 August :: 5.14pm
:: Mood: happy
because reactions aren't enough anymore
im back.
jetlagged.
school's good.
chem rocks.
eye candy in the halls.
friends.
cheesewagon to and from.
work in pre-calc.
more in english.
same teacher.
love being a sophomore.
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 9 August :: 10.25pm
analyze this
i'm driving in an almost traffic jam on I-94, heading east out of detroit. it's crazy because i don't feel like i'm in control of the car, and everyone is going really fast. suddenly, the guy in front of me slams on his brakes, so i have to follow suit, and i swerve to avoid rear-ending him. the car behind me hits me, but it's a very light crash (if that makes any sense), and it sorta bounces off. so it turns into this huge pile-up of vehicles stuck on I-94, and i'm wondering, "what the hell caused this?"
so i park and get out of my car, and i walk over to a group of people. i ask them what's going on, and they're like, "there's a bunch of protesters up there!" and i'm like, "wha?" so i keep walking through the cars and i come to the end of the pile-up, where there's this open stretch of freeway for a few hundred feet. i don't know what was on the other side.... i can't remember... a parking lot? i don't know, it was weird.
i hear lots of yelling and i look over to see a few hundred people standing on the grass hill next to the freeway. behind them is wayne state (yeah, who knows). these "protesters" are shouting down at people who are trying to run across the open space on the freeway, egging them on to do it. then, as soon as someone builds up the courage to do so, the mob on the hill bust out rocks and other hard objects (forgive my memory, this dream was a whole 15 or so hours ago) and throws them at the people on the freeway! it was like being in a war zone!
so all these people by me are limping around, rubbing their bruised body parts and bleeding all over the place. i'm getting fed up with these assholes on the hill, and for some reason, i really want to get across. so i just start walking, paying no attention to the sneering from the mob, concentrating on getting to the other side. i have the dirty harry snarl going, pissed as hell, walking confidently as debris is flying at me.
but i never get hit, and i make it safely to the other side. at this point, everyone starts cheering - the dorks stuck in the traffic jam AND the freaks on the hill. a bunch of the protesters come running out of the wayne state building and congratulate me on being "brave" and "going against the norm" and "doing what i believe in," and all this business. then they hand me an award and bring me into the building where other "winners" are sitting around eating pizza and wearing birthday-type hats, blowing on noise makers. they sit me down at the head of the table in a nice leather chair, and a girl kisses me on the cheek.
the end.
2 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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Rina
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::
2004 8 August :: 6.24pm
:: Mood: jetlagged
i'm back like WHOA.
4 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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rina
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2004 2 August :: 11.17am
here are my classes
1. draw/paint 2
2. ceramics 2
3. symphonic winds
4. hon. world history
5. pre-calc math
6. hon. chemistry
7. hon. english 2
classes with me? there's a nifty thing called e-mail.
2 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 29 July :: 8.56pm
this is what i want to see when i reach those pearly gates
10 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 29 July :: 3.04am
:: Music: morrissey
head in the clouds and a mouthful of pie
after megan somehow managed to convince danielle to go out tonight (i don't know what kind of LSD she slipped in danielle's sushi, but wow, it worked!) i was appointed the designated driver to take the girls to canada. oh my.
we got there at midnight.
after walking around and going into empty bars, we settled in at voodoo. *shakes head* it was packed like pickles [looks to joe for a chuckle]. it really wasn't fun.
i saw a waitress there that i'd talked to the last time we went. at that time, i'd inquired about the shots she was serving. they looked like chemistry test tubes. so i made a joke about it and she thought it was funny or whatever. so tonight when i saw her, i was like, "hey! chemistry test tubes!" and she was like, "hey, i remember you! i haven't seen you in a while, how are you?" danielle was standing there in shock. the waitress told me that there was a dress-up night at the bar, and she used my joke as inspiration for her costume - she was a chemist or something. so i said, "hey, do i get a free shot for that, then?" and she was like, "sure!" and gave me one. danielle was astonished at my smoothing talking. so i got a free test tube of red stuff.
megan and nicole were hit on by some weird dork. nicole got hoo-hah. bah.
the only other thing worth mentioning came at the end of the night. i walked over to an empty spot to lean against the wall, which just happened to be next to 3 girls. so this guy comes over to me and says, "hey - those girls are mine." and i'm like, "haha, okay man, i won't go near them!" then we're both standing there in silence with our arms crossed, and he says, "hey bro, got a cig?"
3 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 20 July :: 1.52am
french royalty
13 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 19 July :: 2.38am
||||basalt floor sex||||
sky is sagging
suffocating starving flowers
algae takes on a frothy white
when dragons fuck for cake
"lick the frosting from my face."
somewhere in antarctica,
a pigeon writhes in flames
bloated seahorses drift by
carcasses bleeding uterine soap
where hungry hips wash
there is a forest growing out of the water
each tall tree swelled with hemoglobin
the ocean wants to scream
moaning waves roll underneath each other
so submerged are they
weeping onto sand
and in love
4 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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cowboy67
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2004 17 July :: 11.55pm
mature.
the end is here
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alastar
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2004 13 July :: 3.32pm
:: Music: library people
Cold
hide within shade
to keep you safe from rain
theres no one else to blame
so set yourself aflame
just let go
stay here alone
so far from home
shaking and cold
all life is frozen
and skies only open
to let down more rain
but don't be afraid
you're cold
so set yourself aflame
mend your broken bones
as it begins to snow
watch the fire grow
cold as frozen stone
don't hope just believe
while you wait for release
there's no time left to wait
you had the chance to stay
so set yourself aflame
burning your own skin
no hope found within
and as flesh begins to melt
remember what you've felt
theres no heat left within your soul
your skin burns but your heart is cold
you feel the primal rage
you had the chance to stay
there's no time left to wait
so set yourself aflame
so set yourself aflame
Trapped Inside
Ever since the beginning
i could feel it within me
in every ouce of pain
coursing through my veins
in my breath when its cold
and in the depths of my soul
wrapped around my heart
it tares me apart
its inside my bones
so i'm never alone
and it whispers to me
and tries to break free
now its taking hold
i'm slowly losing control
it gnaws at my skin
while crawling within
and in a burning rage
it loudly screams my name
and i fall to the ground
but i cant let it out
for that would mean my death
it'd escape with my breath
so there's no wehre to hide
when the pain lives inside
and theres no place of safety
because i just can't escape me
man i haven't written in awhile
those are the only two all summer.
the end is here
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Rina
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2004 2 July :: 7.44am
Hey, i guess i was lying when i said i wouldn't be able to update from Sweden.
Because, look at me. I'm updating. In sweden. it is so great here you can not imagine.
send me a letter. i will send you a postcard.
Carina Tous
c/o Sven Persson
Barrvägen 4
S-446 35 Älvängen
Sweden
See you when school starts.
1 day[s] remain |
the end is here
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