godessalthena
|
::
2024 16 November :: 8.13am
I am so thankful and grateful and just beyond in awe of this process.
but man do I feel lonely and isolated.
and the closest therapist in network is two towns away. and there's only 8 for this whole metro area. I haven't reached out yet, idk who to pick.
I've lost 15 lbs in a month and a half. ultimately I'd like to lose a total of 100, but baby steps is where I'm at. I think I'm definitely looking better. soon I'll be able to fit into my pre-baby clothes. my lightest weigh in was 227, I'm at 242 right now. slowly but surely. all this Halloween candy doesn't help... we only had 5 groups of trick or treaters! super lame turn out.
we are sleep training the baby right now. it is exhausting but I think we are making progress. she's so smart and strong, she just amazes me every day. now if only we could get baths to be fun.
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 4 November :: 8.11am
my life is perfect the literal American dream
to complete it all I need is a prescription of Xanax for this intense morning anxiety I feel for no specific reason. makes me want to jump out of my skin and run away.
my baby loves dancing to old house music. she can't dance on her own but she loves when we make her dance. she's so fun
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 25 September :: 8.00am
I wonder what dolphins think about when they stare at themselves in a mirror
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 1 September :: 1.59pm
I am in such a deep dark hole.
2 Bite Marks |
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 1 August :: 9.49pm
in the third quiet place they blow up the new York bridges... that is where escape from new york starts.
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 22 July :: 8.53am
Friday we will be a month old!
yesterday we got her frenulums in her mouth cut. she seems to be doing okay, definitely is eating the bottle better... been too scared to try to breast feed her though, maybe I'll try late today haha
it's been over 100° every day for the past few weeks here. I want to go out and walk but it's just simply too hot for me. I had heat stroke once as a kid and it was fucking awful. I don't remember there being multiple weeks of this weather before... I hope it's not like this forever.
an assassination attempt and a withdrawal due to mental deficiency. what the fuck is going on in America?
1 Bite Mark |
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 7 July :: 1.59pm
thanks for your support friend, it's very a wild ride. we are now a week and two days old and getting into a rhythm. still feeling exhausted and working hard to get my milk to come in..
it's hard not to feel like a failure even though it's common to have a hard time breast feeding. is just the rejection when she refuses me. but that's okay. she's a person and likes what she likes haha
she's really very precious, and not very fussy at all. she hates being cold and hates having a dirty diaper. she's eating really well and has a cute lil belly now.
can't help but wonder who she'll be.
2 Bite Marks |
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 2 July :: 9.20am
motherhood is hard. I swear I cry as much as this baby does.
I totally failed at breastfeeding.
I fail every time to calm her down.
I have never felt like a bigger failure in my entire life.
1 Bite Mark |
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 28 June :: 5.14pm
we welcomed our beautiful baby girl to the world today. one day after our wedding anniversary!
the birth didn't go anywhere near as planned...
I had to be induced due to high blood pressure.
after using a Foley balloon, 12 hours of pitocin and breaking my water, I wasn't progressing in my labor.
the epidural took two professionals and 9 stabs to get placed.
then I was immediately taken to the operating room for a cesarian section.
the staff was absolutely wonderful, and I wouldn't change a single thing. our baby is perfect and I am just in awe that I could make something so special.
3 Bite Marks |
Play with Me
|
|
godessalthena
|
::
2024 11 June :: 3.44pm
so fucking stressed. no relief in sight.
2 Bite Marks |
Play with Me
|
|