<marquee>i LoVeD dEePeR aNd I sPoKe SwEeTeR</marquee>

i LoVeD dEePeR aNd I sPoKe SwEeTeR

:: 2004 30 July :: 8.57pm
:: Mood: bummed
:: Music: Led Zeppelin-Black Dog

Home from Maine...
it was fun. I hate vacation but I love Wells and I've been there almost every year I've been alive.. and it was good to get away from here for a few days and spend time with my family..

...SoMeWhErE...

cocopuff

:: 2004 28 July :: 10.44pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: Jewel-"Foolish Games"

Your tearing me apart

LOl today was an intresting day...... it started off wiht a gay ass doctors oppointment... but when i got back i went to megs house wiht jess katie & manda... then we met up wiht robbie and jimmy lol and ate some cupcakes (while i waited to get a call form fill.. but my fone didint rigth soo i missed his calls... im sry) lol then jessica and i switched pant in one of the little booths at the highschool lol wiht help from katie who help up stuff so noone saw us ahahaha... lol yea jess we diked it out in the little booth!! LOL... then we procited dt to go get food.. lol wehre jess and i had to change pants out in the fuckin open ahahaha... just a little weird....then aftetr meg manda kaite and jess left i walked home wiht james and reberto who i love deeply.... not very exciting lol but its better then sitting on my ass all day....

How I wish, how I wish you were here

1 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

xonixieox

:: 2004 28 July :: 10.43pm

i dont know what ot do!! today i found out that gene had a heart attack and 2 strokes! its soo bad! im so scared for him! i have been crying since i found out and im not even fucking kidding! this is not cool at all.. gene is like a fucking brither to me! whenever i went to amandasa house me and gene and her would joke around and ghe would drive us places and just treat us like we were BOTH his sisters.. .not just amanda! i love gene so much and this cant be happening.. i wish that someone would just wake me up as if this was all a bad dream! now amandas just sitting with him in the hospital and theres nothing she or anyone else can do except hope for the best so please if anybody is reading this just pray that gene will get better becasue he is such a good kid and 17 is too young! its just to young! GENE I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH! please get better... PLEASE! jusr please!

~NikkiE

6 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 28 July :: 4.00pm

Image Hosted by ImageWaiter.com
hahaha yes that is me petting a racoon..
and yes it is tame lol its sarahs

hollz726 is away at 3:24:52 PM.
BlckTangldHrt35x: undisclosed: she was like "o r u friends with lizzy and manda and them??" and i wa slike yeah i friends with lizzy but not like really good friends with manda but shes nice to me lol" and she was like " o she despises me"
undisclosed: and she goes "o well idk, we just stopped being friends"

BlckTangldHrt35x: pshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
BlckTangldHrt35x: your kidding yourslef if thats what you think happened
BlckTangldHrt35x: its more like...
BlckTangldHrt35x: you turned into everything you said you hated
BlckTangldHrt35x: fuckl your ugly boyfriend all the time
BlckTangldHrt35x: and left ppl who actually cared about you
BlckTangldHrt35x: but hum... maybe for a onesided bitch you were close
hollz726 returned at 3:29:23 PM.
BlckTangldHrt35x: who the fuck visited you in the hospital and called you like eveyr night just so youw erent lonley.. its just so funny what ppl give up for all sorts of fake aquaintences
BlckTangldHrt35x: and ppl who couldnt give a shit less about them
BlckTangldHrt35x: but if thats what makes you happy GREAT have a fucking party.. but dont you dare act like any of it was my fault
BlckTangldHrt35x: when you damn well know it wasnt
BlckTangldHrt35x: ARE U GONNA FUCKIN SAY SOMETHING
hollz726: i never said any of it was your fault
hollz726: i just said you didnt like me anymore
BlckTangldHrt35x: "o well idk, we just stopped being friends"
hollz726: we did
BlckTangldHrt35x: YOU stopped being my friend holly
BlckTangldHrt35x: YOU
hollz726: alright then i stopped being your friends
hollz726: *friend
BlckTangldHrt35x: it was you..it was you who changed.. im still the same old me
BlckTangldHrt35x: but i guess that wasnt good enough for you
BlckTangldHrt35x: its all good tho
hollz726: ok people change
hollz726: im ahppy with myself so everything is all godd
hollz726: *good
BlckTangldHrt35x: cuz now i know who really cares about me.. and i would rather surround myself with ppl who actually give a shit then ppl who care more about how theur hair llooks
hollz726: me 2
BlckTangldHrt35x: heh its funny tho..
BlckTangldHrt35x: your doing the exact opposite
BlckTangldHrt35x: through your eyes you think were all the same.. through your eyes where all the same...
hollz726: back then i judged the people that i hated to quickly
hollz726: i didnt know anyone that i hated back then, and now i do know them and there not bad ppl
BlckTangldHrt35x: i never said they were bad..
BlckTangldHrt35x: they never left their friends
hollz726: i never said you said they were bad
BlckTangldHrt35x: im through talking to you
BlckTangldHrt35x: you can shut up now
hollz726: i said they were bad awhile back
hollz726: and you say im a bitch
BlckTangldHrt35x: MUTE
hollz726: right manda
BlckTangldHrt35x: :-D
BlckTangldHrt35x: yepppp tahts how it is
hollz726: :-)
BlckTangldHrt35x: i dont listen to hipocrites
BlckTangldHrt35x: so bye bye
hollz726: everyones a hipocrite about something
BlckTangldHrt35x: and you are the biggest one of all
hollz726: if thats what you think fine
hollz726: i dont really care
BlckTangldHrt35x: how could u leave.. your BEST friend lizzy like that do you have any idea how bad that hurt her
BlckTangldHrt35x: opr do you not care
BlckTangldHrt35x: cuz your happy now
BlckTangldHrt35x: and tahst all that matters
hollz726: sorry im happy, and why are you still bring this up...move on
hollz726: im sorry i hurt her
BlckTangldHrt35x: i highly doubt that
hollz726: but you know i moved on it happens
BlckTangldHrt35x: your so sad..
BlckTangldHrt35x: good luck in life
hollz726: thanks you too
BlckTangldHrt35x: you dont realize a good thing when you see it
BlckTangldHrt35x: u know.. i used to stick up for you when jimmy and robbie made fun of you
BlckTangldHrt35x: but im glad i dont anymore
hollz726: ok\
BlckTangldHrt35x: becuz to me..your lower than scum

5 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 28 July :: 12.49am

i cry
and the sting of my tears
hits my swelling wrist
i cringe and run the blade
over my already mutilated arm
i cry out in pain
but nobody can hear me
they dont wanna listen..
dont wanna hear what i have to say
these crazy thoughts im thinking in my head
Are just pounding now
and my head its about to explode
im dizzy sitting here
holding the deadend phone
i look into the mirror
touch my hair
touch my face
pick something to smash it
just wanna start over
wish that i could erase..
my eyes they peirce my skin
they reflect right back at me
looking straight through me
i am hollow
and useless
wishing to be lifeless
i hate beauty
and i hate you
my mind its working over time
projecting images of your face
shooting thoughts into my mouth
i too quickly speak them
without thinking..
and i hurt myself again
i thrust this cold blade
into my lifeless pale arm
and sudenly my anger drifts away
soon to return...

---

i cant help but feel like
something is wrong here
is it me?
is it you?
do you look right through my deep brown eyes?
do you see nothing?
so many questions unanswered
i walk down this empty road
rain pouring on my head
thinking to myself every word that you said
every tear that ive cried over you
washed away now
i want them to be gone
but they pour down this face
like the rain beating heavier
and i feel your kisses on me
and i see your eyes in my mind
and all i can think of is me liking you..
what can i do to make this change
how can i change?
can i make me better?
can i get over you?
so this is it..
its over before it began?
you never gave me a chance to show you who i am..

---

Won't make the bed up straight
I always stay out late
I never take you out
Ask what you're all about
I always smell like smoke
Everythings just a joke
I never look at you
When you come hear me sing
These are not all of the
Many simple things
You can find wrong with me
Once would you tell me please

What do I do, What do I do
What do I do, What do I do...Right
What do I do, What do I do
What do I do, What do I do...Right

I never talk to you
be who you want me to
My music's way to loud
My friends are all so proud
Say I'm just wasted hope
I could not thread the rope
More than my pocket's broke
And you don't see a ring
These are not all of the
Infinitesimal things
You can find wrong with me
Once would you tell me please

What do I do, What do I do
What do I do, What do I do...Right
What do I do, What do I do
What do I do, What do I do...Right

Never wanted to play in this game
Yes, You're right
but losing the game doesn't mean
that we're losing the fight

...SoMeWhErE...

krazykelc1

:: 2004 26 July :: 3.44pm

6 MONTH PROBATION

nooo community service

--girls we got off easy...

3 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 26 July :: 3.37pm

Wise men say only fools rush in
but I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can't help falling in love with you

Like a river flows surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
some things are meant to be
take my hand, take my whole life too
for I can't help falling in love with you
for I can't help falling in love with you

...SoMeWhErE...

krazykelc1

:: 2004 25 July :: 8.43pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: shyne-more or less

plans for this week..
tomorrow I have court with meg and emily at 2.. I'm scared.

then Tuesday morning I leave for Maine...
it will probly be nice to get away from here.. but boring too. and something bad always happens wen I leave town... I noticed that.

I'll be back Friday probly mid-afternoon I dunno..

but call/txt/IM my phone anytime..
with my new plan I have free nationwide and no long distance so knock your socks off

617-957-6377
kissme6377

adios:]

1 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

silentcriez

:: 2004 25 July :: 2.28pm
:: Music: i really miss you x s club seven.. yeah thats right

ok so...

do you know what its liek to meet this guy.. and hes totally perfect fro you and you know he is and you just lose yourself in his eyes and wanan curl up tight in his arms and just never leave them...its like theres just something that your missing form yourself that they have.. that just liek clicks when ur near them.. when you talk to them.. when you touch them...its liek theres a venom in his words that just make you melt..its like he barely even has to try to make you happy.. just beign there makes everything ok.. ah im not making any sense im just rambling.. but thats who i feel and it sucks cuz everything cam crashing down when my fucking pms took control and made me jealous and suspicious of my best friend.. wtf is wrong with me.. it just seemed like she liked him and i know that he would go for her too.. and i was jealous that she wouldnt even mean it but he would fall for her instead of me and this is teh first time ive actually put myself on teh lien to get hurt in such a long time and it would just suck if the first time i did it i get my heart squashed...its liek im constantly paranoid of rejection and deciet i feel like i cant trust anyone with the way ive been brought up... back stabbed by my own fuycking mother.,. i guess i cant blame all of my issues on her cuz thats stupid im teh oen who inevitable has to make the choices.. but i cant help but think that my decisions have been swayed by her faults...its like building a big tower... that your so proud of.. and then having someone knock it down in front of you...i dont know what to do.. should i give up? cuz i made a big thing over nothing hes prolly not gonna want anything to do with me anymore..i doubt he would have even liked me anyways.. im nothing special...

write more later...

...SoMeWhErE...

cocopuff

:: 2004 25 July :: 11.58am
:: Mood: cranky
:: Music: Maroon 5-"She Will Be Loved"

HOLY FUCK

>>I dont mind spending every day<<
>> Out on your conner in the pooring rain<<

OMG!!! lol i havent written in this thing in sooooooooo long!! lol well ther is a reason on the last day of school i got busted for being drunk and trying to sleep at kelcs... lol and since then myu parents took my computer for a whole fuckign mounth meaning i got it back on the 17th.... but i didn't becasue i was in maine wiht brittany for twoo weeks.. and i just got home yesterday so i decited i would write in here now...

there was sooo much stuff that happend since i didnt write in here... like ummmmmmm MY BIRTHDAY!!! lol it was very fun!! my rents let me out for the day and i went to mandas and Kelc and katie and jess were thee hahahah i love them sooo much!!!!!!!! and i got to go out a few days 2 but i had to b in at fucking 8 which was bull shit but w/e now im off and i have my compuert and im soo excited!!!

and while i was in maine i missed Kelcs birthday and if i had my comp there would have beeen a entry that said somehting liek this:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELC I LOVE U SOOOOO MUCH!!! its ur first birthday since i met u(and i have to b in maine :( )and im very happy i met u!!! and i love u to death!!! i hope u have(had) and awesome birthday!!!

lol yes im weird but im trying to get to everythign i missed... and at this point i ant remeber nething else... so... yea... im done....

oh yes and im gonann fix this mess... i hope u like it lol

<3Lizzy

2 ...iTs 5 O'cLoCk... | ...SoMeWhErE...

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