I turned down shopping today with my mom. she said she had some money and asked if i wanted to go get a few new outfits and i said no but we did go to walmart and i helped her "heathy food grocery shop". i never realized how much clothing i have. and how much of it i don't wear. and how much i don't appreciate it. my parents (just my mom - my dad doesn't count, he just uses it as an excuse as to why i can't do anything- "hey dad can i kiss your ass?... "NO, YOU HAVE A LOT OF CLOTHES!") are always ratting me out for how much they(mom) spend on me just in clothes and i realize they're (mom) right. i was amazed in saying no though. sort of proud of myself in a way. i don't realize how much i have until i look at a few of my friends. they make way with what they have, i can too. i'm a little jealous of them and their strength. maybe next time i'll say no too.

It seems everything in life is great. than i look at how my summer english teacher is always lecturing me or whatever mrs. Ellsworth isn't a BAD teacher, and the scarlet letter isn't a BAD book. BUT THE FONT OF THAT BOOK THAT MRS. ELLSWORTH IS MAKING ME READ IS SO CURSING SMALL THAT I CAN'T READ IT !! i tried my mom's glasses the other night and they seemed to work. but i was watching the red wings at the same time and a headache came on with the looking up and over the glasses and under them and into them. i gave up rather quickly. than she asks me about the book and what i lerned and to summerize it she askes me questions each day. i like the book, and i know what it's about. and i could tell her the whole story with full context and emotion and all that mish-mosh, but if YOU think i've gotten ONE of those questions right ON ANY OF THOSE 4 QUESTION QUIZZES!! it's really sad.
:: So at one point in the novel, the daughter, of the mother who committed adultery and has to wear a letter A on her chest for the rest of her life, is in the forest near a swamp with her mom. she mocks her mom and makes an A out of seaweed/grass and what have you. Mrs. Ellsworth asks what this symbolizes. ...as if it's not implied. the girl is MOCKING her MOTHER. Mrs. Ellsworth then goes on to ask how the color of the weeds and grass is symbolic..? ... GRASS IS GREEN!! it's not symbolic. IT'S NOT. NOT FOR ANYTHING. she grabbed the first freaking thing that would stick to her and put it on her. she couldn't use sticks (brown) because they don't stick. they prick and that's no fun. BUT NO MRS. ELLSWORHT SAYS. they're symbolic. and for WHAT. youth. youth she says. the weeds symbolize youth.
no they don't mrs. Ellsworth.
no.
they don't.
i'm not closed minded.
i know all the right answers to her questions, and i can back them up. but they're not good enough. maybe if i believed more i could be all 'oh this is what he meant' and stuff.
how does she know anyway. were they pals? i don't think so. i'm right.
i could lie through all the tests and quizzes and get an A in the class. but i know what i'm talking about. and i make sense.

In other news...
i find it funny that my cousin and i can get in a big brawl one night and then i go away for a while and while i was gone, she and her boyfriend probably got it on or some crap and i come home and she thinks we can be something like pals BUT YOU KNOW WHAT ASSWIPE; I HATE YOU. and you hate me too. you showed me how to hate. we didn't go to my grandparents' house this year for xmas like we always do because you keep score. because you don't appreciate them. because you can't handle the fact that all you're going to get is something a little less than what you'd rather have had. and because a few times back, they weren't there. well i'm keepin score now. and the scoreboard says YOU SUCK TO THE MAX.

...we should do this again some time.

ok here is a little story to end up my journal

fairy tale
Once upon a time there has a young LOSER named ANDREW. He was I DON'T KNOW CRAPPING in the ALWAYS RIGHT forest when he met HOMOSEXUAL BOB, a run-away FLORIST from the FAT Queen JULIE .

ANDREW could see that HOMOSEXUAL BOB was hungry so he reached into his JOCK STRAP and gave him his DELICIOUS CHEESE RAT. HOMOSEXUAL BOB was thankful for ANDREW's CHEESE RAT, so he told ANDREW a very FLATTENED story about Queen JULIE 's daughter MEG . How her mother, the FAT Queen JULIE , kept her locked away in a PLASTIC BOTTLE protected by a gigantic ELEPHANT, because MEG was so HORNY.

ANDREW WET HIMSELF. He vowed to HOMOSEXUAL BOB the FLORIST that he would save the HORNY MEG . He would FLING the ELEPHANT, and take MEG far away from her evil mother, the FAT Queen JULIE , and SIT ON her.

Then, all of the sudden, there was a STUPID PISS and HOMOSEXUAL BOB the FLORIST began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic ELEPHANT from his story. FAT Queen JULIE FARTED from behind a MUFFIN and struck ANDREW dead. In the far off PLASTIC BOTTLE you could hear a MUFFLED BLAST.

the end

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