<marquee behavior=alternate>.:*Chubby*:.</marquee>

.:*Chubby*:.

:: 2004 21 January :: 9.01pm
:: Mood: okay
:: Music: Alanis Morissette-

lalalala
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? [because of course u�ll tell me in a survey, right? lol]
16. Do you think I could kill someone? [Hehe]
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
21. If I was an ice cream flavor, which would I be and why?
22. What song reminds you of me?
23. If you could change one thing about me, what would it be?
24. Do you consider me a good friend?
25. What makes me, me?
26. Would you make a move on me?[;-)]

Once agian ppl make me soo mad... this time it amkes me soo mad im jsut not gonna exspand on there rudeness and stupidy.....

well tomorrw are my 2 hardest midterms :-(.. i ahev french first... which i know im gonna fail cuz i suck at that gay ass language... and then history... i hope i do good in history... and i think i might... *knock* *knock* knock on wood lol wish me luck!!

and fill out that thingy!! NOW!!

<3Lizzy<3

4 .from you. | .to me.

silentcriez

:: 2004 21 January :: 1.50pm

iceyhott1769: Head spinning
Breathing shallow
Your kiss like candy
Temptation fills my mind
Holding onto what�s not there
Letting go of all that is
Your heart beating on in mine
Kisses growing slow
Passion running deep
An encounter of romance
That will be invisible tomorrow
Only seen by the ghost of you
Living on forever in my heart
And these visions of you
Are clouding my mind
Invading my dreams
My private world exposed
To a something that is nothing
Insecurities tearing my insides out
Wanting nothing but to see inside your head
see inside your world, of lost desires
lost regrets...
because you have forever seen inside mine.

this is the force that binds me
this is the water which fails to quench my thirst
this is the heart thats unopened
this is the girl who wants more
tainted validation, the ill repute of lies
unsaught after, un needed
defeated misstreated, hes all ive ever needed
when asked a simple question teh answer wont role off my tounge
the baracades of failure block them one by one
inhibitions all forgotten when thoughts of you remain
voices over sound waves melting in my ears
and in this curious passion, there stands a confused girl
left to linger lonely..open up, let me in
this confusion swirls within me,
a twighlight of red and gold,
afriad that i may faulter, must hide my many flaws
impress you
undress you
sink beneath my skin
unveiling all thats hidden each emotion that lies within

.to me.

xonixieox

:: 2004 20 January :: 6.29pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: pain!!!!!!

Fuck this!!
some people in the world are just plain annoying!! i Hate this shit!! didnt fall asleep till like 3 this morning... then i had to go to school and fuckin deal with Teddy that stupid short cunt whos gunna die! Mike is like mad at me and Jessie for nothing. then i realized that if i fail my history midterm then i get kicked off the fuckin team!! i have a history and an english midterm tomorro!! yesterday was a good day at least!! votka and orange juice tastes like nail polish remover!! hahah Manda!! we went into amandas hot tub, but when we got out it was relle relle cold!! lol! i love Amanda And Jessie!!!!!

<3 prostitute

.to me.

cocopuff

:: 2004 20 January :: 3.00pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: The Who-"Baba O'Riley

Hello
Well i havent written in this for a few days... benn kinda busy... there was no school friday or monday soo i was gona all weekend... i went to brits and then around... lol we had fun!! well tday was a full day at school but the rest of the week is mid terms so we onlu have to go to school till 11!!!! lol i get to leave at 9:30 tomorrow tho!!! and i don't have to go to school at all on friday!! then next monday is a half a day 2... then after that the new terms starts.....

yea sooo today was boring so far.. and i9t can only get worse... lol im very bored... lol but its ok.....

lol if u dl music or w/e dl this soo the who is soo good

THE WHO

"Baba O'Riley"

Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

Don't cry
Don't raise your eye
It's only teenage wasteland

Sally ,take my hand
Travel south crossland
Put out the fire
Don't look past my shoulder
The exodus is here
The happy ones are near
Let's get together
Before we get much older

Teenage wasteland
It's only teenage wasteland
Teenage wasteland
Oh, oh
Teenage wasteland
They're all wasted!

<3Hoe
*lol if one more person tells me im livin up to my name im gona smack them becasue obv. i don't care that u think im a hoe thats y i call myself one!!stupid ppl*

.to me.

cocopuff

:: 2004 20 January :: 3.00pm
:: Music: The Who-"Baba O'Riley

.to me.

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 19 January :: 4.41am
:: Mood: drunk
:: Music: staind

yooo biotches im fucking drunk off my ass right now even though it doenst seem ist cuz im not typing THAT bad, i really need to fucking have someone in bed, HAHA im a fucking stupid drunk and kenny wont fucking talk to me and tell me he loves me (haha) i reall need to get to bed so fuck you journal, haha i'll write in you later biotchesssssssssss

TIMOTHY ODONNELL I FUCKING LOVE YOU DWITH ALL OF YNMY HEART BABY <3 xox

[[ ...*theres no one left thats real*... ]]

.to me.

silentcriez

:: 2004 18 January :: 6.00pm
:: Mood: Poetic
:: Music: you - switchfoot

poetry :-)

i am broken, i am bleeding
lying useless and defeated
losing sight of all thats true
getting over thoughts of you
deprivation, lost in bliss
void of lust, this passionless kiss
i dont like what i am, just wanna let go
do you need me? just let me know
cant keep holding on, im hanging by a thread
these dreams are worthless, lying intoxicated in this bed
your love has showered me, bound me
im drunk on you, wont you bleed me?
torture me when were appart
breaking down this useless heart
drink away this graphic pain
im not in love.. im not insane
melt me down, break me off
breath me in, hear you cough
ive cut my hands.. at redemptions side
these scars are much bigger than these doubts of mine
wont you take me, and set me free
my only wish is to be happy
just breath me out, this burning sensation wont let go
years cant grace me with the love you could show..
dont listen to me.. im on my last breath
maybe ill find it all, in this painless death
deliver me from evil, unveil this pale face
cold and void of life, im leaving this place
i wont be fine, i wont be alright
if you wont love me im leaving tonight
untie this ribbon, expose these eyes
lily white kisses, emblazoned with lies
the scent of you still on my skin
this eroding passion burning within
intoxication envolopes my fears
releasing passion, releasing tears
to feel you in me, to take you in
touching your face, creamy white skin
carressing you, comforting you in everyway
stay inside me, stay today
i would trade all i have to be with you tonight
fading into the darkness, im losing sight
deeper i fall..into its grasps
theres no regrets, theres no turning back
unlocking my heart, with this silver plated key
dont let me fall.. hold onto me
cant keep holding on, im hanging by a thread
these dreams are worthless, lying intoxicated in this bed

just a little inspiration for the day :-) hope ya like it

2 .from you. | .to me.

xonixieox

:: 2004 18 January :: 5.59pm
:: Mood: happy!!
:: Music: none

i cant wait till tomorrow!! i need to get out of the house!! i love all my girles!! Am.Lf.J.f.Kd.Kr.Cs.Mf.Kl.Db.Tc!! i love you girls...

2 .from you. | .to me.

xonixieox

:: 2004 17 January :: 5.08pm
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: none at the time!!

:)

me and Darien had a fun nite last night!! darien has a hole in her crotch and i have that cd!! lol!!! we watched the ring and that baby turned away when you saw the dead guys face!!! ahhhhhhhhhh

then we playes sims and made the Slavet family, which consisted of David, Teddy, Chodey, and Dixie!! fun fun!!

then we sorta studied.... and chilled!! i listened to darien Belt it out on heer Kareoke Machine lol!!!

<3 prostitute!!

2 .from you. | .to me.

xonixieox

:: 2004 17 January :: 12.20am
:: Mood: flirty
:: Music: lol horny parrots!

uhuh uhuh uhuh, right there, thast where i like it!!

You're the suggestive grin,mostly used while
flirting and accompanied by the come-hither
look.You're either an attention hog or way too
insecure to not be in the spotlight at all
times.No one can quite tell.Calm down and learn
to be regular,ya perv.

lol hahaha

3 .from you. | .to me.

silentcriez

:: 2004 16 January :: 11.45pm

http://www.bpdcentral.com

Assumptions held by BPD sufferers

When you're interacting with someone with BPD, it's crucial to understand that their unconscious assumptions may be very different from yours.

Their assumptions may include:

I must be loved by all the important people in my life at all times or else I am worthless. I must be completely competent in all ways to be a worthwhile person.

Some people are good and everything about them is perfect. Other people are thoroughly bad and should be severely blamed and punished for it.

My feelings are always caused by external events. I have no control over my emotions or the things I do in reaction to them.

Nobody cares about me as much as I care about them, so I always lose everyone I care about-despite the desperate things I try to do to stop them from leaving me.
If someone treats me badly, then I become bad.

When I am alone, I become nobody and nothing.

I will be happy only when I can find an all-giving, perfect person to love me and take care of me no matter what. But if someone close to this loves me, then something must be wrong with them.

I can't stand the frustration that I feel when I need something from someone and I can't get it. I've got to do something to make it go away.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

i think thats wat i have... :-[

.to me.

xonixieox

:: 2004 16 January :: 6.42pm
:: Mood: bitchy
:: Music: the horny neighbors upstairs

You are a dominatrix!

.to me.

cocopuff

:: 2004 16 January :: 12.33pm

cho
You're chocolate. You're the old soul type, people
feel that they have known you their entire
life. Many often open up to you for they view
you as thoughtful and trustworthy. Although
people trust you, you have a hard time trusting
them. You prefer to keep your feelings bottled
up inside, or display them very quietly. It is
alright to open up every once in a while.

Which kind of candy are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yummy!!!!!

well theres no school today!!!! im excited!! lol i want to go to Fridays!!! they have realyl good food!!! im about to call brittany... i know shell go wiht me cuz she loves to go out to eat 2!! lol well thats about it....

<3HOE!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Funny how when u do the right thing, everyoen makes it out to seem ur wrong....
:-P so lick my bum!!

.to me.

LOSERxDORK

:: 2004 16 January :: 9.09am
:: Mood: COLD AS A MOTHA
:: Music: shadows fall

this sucks
ok, im fuckin freezing so im wearing 3 pairs of pants,3 sweatshirts,a long sleeve shirt,2 tanktops,2 pairs of socks,and slippers. my fingers are like frozen, its insane. all it is in this house is work, its ridiculous. last night was good. i stayed home all day and relaxed (it was nice to stay home) and then later at night i went to my moms boyfriends ex wifes to visit his daughter (who is sweet as pie). we ate KFC there and that shizzle and then we hung around and then shawn and his ex wifes husband i think went to get donuts and then we all sat down and ate donuts and coffee. it was a nice day with no fighting. mr. cracolici sent a letter to MY DAD and not my mom that i got a 0 on my italian test and im doing bad and blah blah blah all that shit. well, my dad wants to take away my cell phone and for WHAT? nothing, because im passing all my other classes with good grades so OBVIOUSLY there is something wrong with the way mr. cracolici teaches. maybe its because hes a BAD teacher? yeah, probably. well my dad cant punish me because he only has partial custody of me BUT he CAN take my phone away. oh well, i can live with a cell. i dont know all this shit is just really fuckin frusturating and its pissing me off.

guys honestly, please comment because i get really mad when only 1 or 2 or even nobody comments, it would make me feel A LOT better, thanks for listening to me bitch.

i.heart.y0u.tim0thy.0d0nnell.<3

[[ ...*theres no one left thats real*... ]]

6 .from you. | .to me.

cocopuff

:: 2004 15 January :: 10.41pm
:: Music: *cry of a dead parrot*

...
hey, that isnt minem but darien found it and thought it was hilarious.

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.to me.