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2005 17 January :: 8.21pm
The best time to talk about
everything and anything is at night,
when you're falling asleep right
next to the person you love.
<3 Jim
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2005 17 January :: 7.26pm
:: Mood: bitchy
Well, I think maybe I'm in a better mood now to write some more things that happened this weekend.. but very sparsly.
Friday Rochelle came over, we hung out- did nothing except eat. But it was definitly fun. She stayed the night- we watched movies and did "girl stuff" hehe. Then her mom took me to Jims house Saturday morning arund 2 or so. The roads were bad.
[insert last entry here]
Then today BECKY CALLED ME.. but I will never uncover what she said to me on the phone; because she's a dumb bucket.
So I came home today.. and what else is new it's hell, as always. Being that the girls and I just cleaned the house on Friday, I came home today and the place is a dump already. I don't understand anymore. IT PISSES ME OFF SO BADLY.
"happy birthday" lmao.. sorry.
I can't wait.. 18 here I come. Next year
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2005 17 January :: 4.50pm
:: Mood: blah
So yesterday I stayed at Jims.. I played his PS2 a 'lil, then we had a roll in the sack. Haha, I'm just jokin'.. anyways, I didn't eat anything all day 'cause Jim didn't have anything to eat at his house. His mom came home at around 9:00 at night and took Gabrielle off Jim, that just ticks me off anymore. It's his baby, not hers. He barely gets to see her as it is, and then she takes her off of him.. anyways, Gab was getting really fussy and starting to cry and everything so I was getting really antsy, I hate when Gabrielle cries, and I especially hate when she cries and someone else has her. So I was trying to let Donna handle her; but she kept doing the wrong things. I knew what was wrong with her; she was tired. I tried to say that but nooo.. she "ate too much" uhhh.. okay, I think I would know if my own daughter ate too much. So finially I just took Gabrielle off of her and went up stairs so I could put her to bed. When I was on my way down I heard her talking about me, lmao.. do you think I can't hear you? ANYWAYS, I got mad at just stayed upstairs for like 5 more minutes then went down. She went upstairs and took the phone to call Ronnie. Jim and I went to bed about 30 minutes later.
We woke up around 9:00 the next day and just chilled. Now here I am. School tomorrow. *sigh*
[[edit: 6:09 PM]]
It never fails, when I come home; it gets worse every time.
[[/edit]]
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2005 14 January :: 12.13pm
:: Mood: stressed
I stayed home today.. I tried and tried to get my mom up, but she wouldn't wake. And Gab was crying/hungry when I left, so I just stayed home. Then my mom came in at about 10:00 yelling at me because I stayed home and how she's gonna go to jail because I'm missing to many days and how the reason she didn't wake up is because the monitor in her room isn't on.. so I told her that I tried to wake her up and the monitor in her room WAS on, but I turned it off when I stayed home because I figured she didn't need to be bothered if I was going to be home. So she didn't believe me and got mad then stormed into her room bitching about how messy the house is.
So I waited a couple minutes then I got something I wanted to show her and knocked on her door to let her see.. she read it, then she started saying something to me, I don't really even remember what it was exactly; but it made me mad.. then she was going on about how she's not apperciated and that how she takes "YOUR BABY TO THE BAR EVERYDAY, WHILE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING.. I CARRY HER ON MY HIP WHILE I'M BAR TENDING, WAITRESSING, AND DOING WHATEVER ELSE NEEDS DONE." ..That really pissed me off right there, so I said "Fine, then I'll just stay home and watch MY baby." "And what; drop out of school? I don't think so." I told her that I'll just have Tammy watch Gabrielle like she was supposed to in the first place, that I'd rather have Tammy watch Gabrielle than her because at least I won't hear her bitching all the time about it. She started saying something else but I was walking out and didn't really pay any attention.. but I heard "I'm just tired of not being apperciated" as I walked through the door.. I turned around and said "So am I." and I slammed her door.
After that I went into my room and called Jim, I asked him if he could come get me.. he told me to call him back in about 5 minutes.. so I got all of Gabrielles &mines things ready so I would be ready to leave when he got here. But my mom tried to come in, I had my door locked &I wouldn't let her in. But I did finially did. She was saying how she did apperciate me, and all this other shit that I didn't even pay attention to. She said something about how she knows that I want to leave now and that all I have is about a year left then I can move out.. but how she doesn't want to loose me. She also said that she didn't know how I was going to move out if I planned on going to collegge with a baby.. But after a few minutes of me just sitting there and her talking she left.
I called Jim back and he said that he can get me a ride.. but I said that I couldn't go because I had to watch my sisters. I guess I'm kinda stupid because I just can't ever leave my sisters, no matter what I want to do, I always think of them before I think of myself, same with Gabrielle. <3
So my mom &George left to go to the bar; Dustin's sleeping in my moms' bed, Gabrielle's sleeping on my bed, and I'm just sitting here; trying to make myself feel better for everything that's going on.
But it's not working.
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2005 13 January :: 6.15pm
I'm not to sure if I'm even wanted around here anymore.
I can't handle this house anymore.
Maybe I should just leave. I think it'd be better for everyone.
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2005 12 January :: 9.52pm
:: Mood: pissed off
So today I got this letter in the mail from the school it says something along the lines of "You have missed 12 days of unexcuesed/illegal absences, please call the school board committee by January 12 to set up an appointment to clear this matter up. If you do not call by the 12th, you will not get any credit for any of your courses for 2004-05 school year."
Okay, well I didn't even get the letter until today, and when I got home and tried to call, no one was there. So lets see; my mom and I are kinda very pissed off because I should only have 4 unexcuesed days, and YES I have been keeping track of when I missed ect.. there is no way in hell I should have 12.
But anyways, Jim came to pick me up to take me to school today. We stopped and got a Smuffin at Sheetz. He's so cute.. but anyways, I'm gonna try to get him to do that more often, because I miss not seeing him 24/7 like I used to.. *sigh* over his house tomorrow maybe.. depending on if my moms back is feeling better. [yes.. she hurt her back again.. ahhh]
Otherwise, nothing really happened at school.. I was loud and obnoxious as usual. :-P
oh yeah!!! I was looking at PROM DRESSES.. I FOUND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DRESS EVER.. my mom and I are going to get it next week.. it's in Ohio.
<3
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2005 11 January :: 11.32pm
:: Music: Jim
Type your username with your:
nose: xxnterruptedd
elbow: zxxzcinmtyerfrfrju;pterxc
tongue: xxinterrpted
chin: xcxiknbgftdffrjuh;pgtdec
eyes closed and one finger: xxubtwerrupted
back of hand: dxd98 knbteroptecd
palm: xcxmyrtrtr';[p0hteevf
wrist: xcxcnmtyertrtrui';[pty
err.. hard, try it.
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2005 11 January :: 10.47pm
:: Mood: apathetic
Today was a pretty bad day. I was in a bad mood when I got home, so I took an hour long nap. Now I'm okay. I'm chillin' out with a Mike's Hard Lemonade.
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2005 10 January :: 10.45am
:: Mood: okay
So last night I went to help my mom waitress at the bar.. I made $135.. [just in tips] so now I can finially buy Gab some things that she needs.
But anyways, today I stayed home.. Anna &Gab are sick.
<3
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2005 9 January :: 1.00am
:: Mood: worried
I don't know.. Gabrielle is sick. She just has a little cold, but I'm really worried. She sleeps practicly all day. She's very congested, and when she coughs you can hear the mucus running down her throat.. I'm so scared she's gonna choke or something. Kelly just left about a half hour ago.. and so far, I can't sleep. I'm just worried I guess..
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2005 8 January :: 8.30pm
:: Mood: *sigh* x100
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:25:57 PM): so you spent the night at jims?
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:25:57 PM): :-D
lets xx hug (8:26:02 PM): yessssssss.
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:26:14 PM): awweness*! just you and him? no gab?
lets xx hug (8:26:31 PM): yeah gab is sick, I didn't want her to get worse by taking her out in the rain/cold.
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:27:00 PM): well thats okay, even if she wasnt sick, you guys need time to yourself.
lets xx hug (8:27:07 PM): yeah, I felt bad though
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:27:09 PM): so, did you get things straight, like- you know you love him now? lmao
lets xx hug (8:27:13 PM): haha
lets xx hug (8:27:30 PM): I think it's like when we're apart I think bad things.. but when we're together everythings okay. It sucks
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:04 PM): SAME HERE!
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:14 PM): :-( it does suck
lets xx hug (8:28:16 PM): ahhh.. i hate it
Tw1st3dxDr3ams (8:28:46 PM): me too
too true.. <3 you Beck.
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2005 8 January :: 6.02pm
:: Mood: bouncy
ahhhhhhhhh.. I had THE BEST time staying over Jims house last night.. wow, I can definitly say that I am one of the happiest girls in the world.
Let's see.. Friday when I got there we just watched some tv ect.. then we went up in his room and talked. I started crying because I said I was a bad mom, and we talked about that for like a long time.. and he made me feel 110% better.. we ordered pizza, CHICKEN RANCH! Then watched some movies.. I went to bed at like 12:30, I made Jim come up and give me a full body massage, then I wouldn't let him go back downstairs until I fell asleep.
We woke up around 12:45 when my mom called me to ask me when I was coming home. Sooo.. I told her around 4:30. We got up ate some left over pizza, watched some movies.. then went back up in his room. We played a game I made up called "Licking game" hahaha, sooo fun. Definitly. <3
Now I'm home.. Gab is up my aunt Loraines, Kelly and I are eating some raviolies and going to watch Spider Man 2 on DVD.
If anyone wants any Girl Scout cookies.. my sister is selling them, so just tell me!!
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2005 7 January :: 4.57pm
:: Mood: mellow
Soooo.. lets recap what happened this week.
I made myself a better person by letting go what happened [or what didn't happen] what Jim and Jessica. I appoligized to her, and told her that I went phyco because I felt threated.. I was 7 months pregnant. So I don't care about that anymore. It's over and done with.
It's really been a boring week other than that.
I'm going to Jims house tonight.. &STAYING OVER. :-P Soooo.. I'll write when I get home. I'm debating whether or not to take Gab.. I want to, but I kinda wanna spend some time alone with Jim. *sigh*
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