You just have to be happy. If you are everything else will fall into place.

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You just have to be happy. If you are everything else will fall into place.

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:: 2007 24 January :: 12.13pm
:: Mood: kinda bored, i guess
:: Music: The Rap Hustlaz - Stunna Frames,
Jim Jones/Cam'ron - Pin the Tail

wit ya stunna wit ya stunna shades on...

Justin's at work and I should be getting ready to go to work myself, but.. eh, I'll take a break.
I just got out of the shower and I'm just chillin.

I think I'm developing a cough--that blows.
One of those coughs where you cough your lungs out because you feel liek you have to for that itchy feeling to go away.

Yesterday I had to get a diabetes test..
They made me drink this yucky sugary stuff.
Well, I bet it might have been remotely good-tasting if I even liked sugar at all.
Then some guy had to take my blood and I guess he was really nervous because he definitely did a horrible job.. I should've done it myself.

He was shaking and kept taking the rubberband on and off and he put the needle in my arm liike.. not deep at all, so that when he let go of it to put the bottle in the tube, it fell and was hanging there..
i think he was trying to be gentle as not to hurt me.. but he was.

I hope Justin has a good day at work today..
he was mad about going before he left. =/

Ugh.
I have an eye appointment tomorrow, a hair appointment the next day, and then a doctor's appointment next week. I'm booked up. Geez.

My credit card bill was due but it's saying $0 minimum balance is due??

Umm. yeah. I'm just writing in here cause I'm bored.
Going to work til about 7:00 and then we have to go grocery shopping so yeah, that's my boring day today.

Other than my back windshield getting smashed out, nothing exciting happens to me. =)
I love it when people I don't even know or have anything to do with trash my things.
The cop thought it was Sarah right away but I told him not to even say anything at all to her because I know it wasn't her.
?? He kept insisting on going and talking to her mom but I kept telling him not to, to the point where I was begging him not to mention anything to her.
I don't want someone to get in trouble for something they didn't do, you know? I don't get along with her, but that's fucked up..

Anyways, I'm out for now.

:: 2007 24 January :: 9.36am
:: Mood: hyper
:: Music: Mexico - Incubus

PowerFull
I decided I was dying of thirst and ran to get a powerade in between classes and it wouldn't spit it out forever and so I looked where they came out and there were two others already there so I got 3 all together. It was a sign. It means that I'm special and powerful.
Go me.

Our councelor is a creep head. She makes me laugh though.

:: 2007 22 January :: 10.58pm
:: Mood: dorky
:: Music: Love Hurts - Incubus

Much needed update
So school let out due to the crazy ice storm that took out trees, power lines, phone lines, and houses. It was totally cool. We were out of school for an entire week. That week made me not ever want to return, so today, the first one back, sucked so bad. I'm ready to be out of here, and I want money so I can just go to Michigan and not have to hang around here and work my ass off just for the trip up there and for a car and for insurance and gas and food. Maybe I'll not eat anything but like... oh what's cheap?!... Ramon Noodles. They're like 10 cents per package around here I think. Anyway, I'll cut food for the most part, and cut gas, I'll just syphone it during the night, wearing my ninja clothes. Insurance... geeze. That'll have to stay on the list. Other than that I'm good I think. I'll just let my clothes kind of wash clean in rain, or find someone's pool...
I missed Kelly's birthday because of this stupid storm shit that happened here. That was sad. It was also our 4th anniversary. I tend to be all "omg random anniversary!" and it makes me feel bad for him. Guys don't care about that shit, I'm aware of it... But I still like to go on about it cause they're like "oh ... shit I have to act like this is important to me and say nice things to them and... gah! what's something nice to say!?" and it's humerous. I'm sorry. I find humor in other's distress. I got something wrong with me, but It's been wrong for 17 years and I'm ok with it now.
Anyway. LAN Party thing. I do believe I'm going to allow myself to be drug away by Kelly to attend. I'll have to leave like the morning of the 5th and drive all day, then stop and sleep somewhere, then drive the rest of the day on the 6th. Make it there, collapse in exaustion and then wake up and go on another road trip to PA for however many days. Hotel room with Kelly? Fuck yes. Amazing.

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2007 15 January :: 7.49pm

new pictures:

meehan0125.myphotoalbum.com

:: 2007 14 January :: 11.40pm

i'm hot cause i'm fly, you ain't cause you not
this is why, this is why, this is why i'm hot

Soo..
Me and Justin went to see Stomp the Yard today.
We've planned on going to see it and today we finally went down Loews Theatre.
It was definitely and awesome movie that I would recommend seeing.
There were some very good-looking people in it. Haha.
All through the beginning of the movie Justin and I kept saying to each other, "you think he's/she's hot???"

It was a really good movie.

Anywyas.

We just made brownies.
...they're gone.

Today Justin has seemed so.. sad.
Besides when we were out to the movies and dinner he has been acting so weird.
So we're watching Desperate Housewives (he DVRed it for me so I wouldn't miss it) and I say, "Do you still love me?"
and as if it were a dumb question he answers back, "I always will..."
I got quiet. I didn't know what to say.

Eh.. I'm out for now.

:: 2007 9 January :: 12.44pm
:: Mood: lazy, bored

another lazy day

Hmm.
No work today.
I am about to hop in the shower right now actually and then possibly clean up a little bit. Things are a mess and I would like to put away more stuff today since I'm off.

It feels like another lazy day, though.

Perhaps I can get some shopping in...?

I live a very boring life.

:: 2007 7 January :: 3.19pm

sorry i'm a champion...

Okay, well.
I'm freezing.
I have the heat on like 74 and the thermostat says it's currently 62.
wtf? TURN ON, HEATER!!

Justin went to Big Lots to buy some liner for the kitchen cupboards, a trash can, shampoo and conditioner, and anything else that kid wants.

last night we went grocery shopping and spent $50 each. haha.
piggies!

i am looking for a new background image for my journal so i can make a new layout.
i dunno.. i think i might stick with the black & white for now, but we'll see what i come across.

i haven't had time to even breathe, we've been working so hard on getting situated.
his mom has wanted to give us these dressers that we really don't need.. and ive said in the first place that we really don't need them because we have so much closet space and my brother is building us shelves for them for whatever else we need. (jeans, shorts, pants.) socks and undies--i have these little drawers for them that i had in my old closet when i lived at home.

so anywyas, she brings them over today.
he was all stressed out all morning because of it.
as soon as we woke up she wanted to meet us up at the apartment (we stayed at my mom's) and move these things up to the bedroom.
justin siad we would take the smaller of the two but he would burn the other one. (there really was no need to say that, but..)

there was a big fight with yelling and screaming and crying in the front of the apartment and it resulted in her saying "fuck you, i'm not having anything to do with either of you," and driving away in a rage.
justin now has a swollen and broken hand that looks disgusting and it's a mess.

i'm pissed because my DVR didn't record the whole tyra banks marathon and it cut out right in the middle of an episode. =(
i always get REALLY into that show.
it would be way cool to be a model but.. it's tough bizz. you don't have to be super rpetty, you just have to know your angles.

and i'm sick. i think i am coming down with the flu or something because i couldnt get out of bed this mornign and i definitely feel horrible.

i am waiting for justin to get here so i can take a damn shower but i've got to try to find my shower liner so i don't ruin my shower curtain.

aaaanyways.
i'm out.

:: 2007 2 January :: 8.02pm

"that was the best thing i ever heard you say"

"When's God going to give her a reality check?"-Liz Wypych

2 cmnts. | cmnt.

:: 2007 1 January :: 12.34pm
:: Mood: bored
:: Music: Look after you - The Fray

2007 is finally here and I've got a whole hell of a lot to look forward to.

* Contest season for FFA -hopefully making State which would take place in April.
* Senior Pictures. -I pray they'll come out good. I'm not too photogenic, but we'll see.
* Senior Trip to Orlando, Florida -April 25-30 Only class to ever fly. We be teh shit.
* My effing 18th Birthday which so happens to be taking place in Florida. Sweet? Hell yes.
* Graduation (!!! zomg) -May 10
* Fucking Graduation Party. That'll be a great night.
* (Something I won't be looking to forward to) Getting another job. Ashley wants me to get one with her at Wal-Mart -oh joy- and sell my soul to afford college. I might look into prostitution as well. Not sure, but it's a definite possibility.
* July something I shall finally be getting my shit together and going to Michigan. Hello Kelly. (... like hello kitty... but not... I liked it, f you)
* Finding a job up there, which I will totally force Kelly to help me with.
* Getting my ass to school a mere 3 months after graduating, only to start the whole 4 year shit all over again. This time it'll be alright though, because I'll be able to see Kell and make him take me places to destress. Doesn't he have lots to look forward to? Haha

That's the jist of it. Of course there are small things but so far that's all 07 has for me. It should be a good year, and if not, hopefully at least better than the previous one.

Christmas was good, lots of food and not-so-needed presents that i've no place to put, but that's alright, whatever. That's why they made little sisters, and rubbermaid tubs that fit under your bed :)

One more day of break and then school starts back up. I think I'll be even more annoyed with people so it should be interesting, I'll try not to be, but I'm definitly not making any promises.

I don't know if the mail runs today or not. Ashley said it doesn't but I think it should.

:: 2006 30 December :: 1.26pm

Well, I just got out of the shower a little bit ago and then proceeded to fold mine and Justin's clothes.
That's done so I'm just chillin', waitng to go to Lowes to get shit for the apartment.

There are a couple more pictures on my photo album.

Other than that, not much of an update here.
I'm jsut being bored.

I feel bad for Saddam Hussein, is that weird?
Did you see how sad and scared he looked when he was about to be hung? I just get hurt feelings for people.
=/

Maybe it's just this pregnancy thing?

Cause I was telling Liz how I get these weird dreams..
Like for real, I have the weirdest dreams.

The other night I had a dream that I was somehwre.. I dont know..
But we were in like an auditorium and Sarah was next to me.
but she didn't look like regular Sarah.
she looked the way I would make her look if I was on a makeover show.

She had hair a little longer than shoulder length and it was all flipped out and it was regular brown, like mine.
And she had eyebrows in my dream.
But not just any eyebrows, the kind I would make her have if we were friends and I told her to grow them in so I could shape them.
And instead of wearing her make up a horrible way, she wore it the way I would put it on her to fit the shape of ehr face.
I can't remember exactly what she was wearing but they were jeans that were pulled up all the way instead of sagging down how she wears them and she was wearing a shirt that covered the pouch on her belly.

So I was like, "You look really pretty, Sarah."
and she was like, "uhh okay," and gave me that look she always wears that makes you think she is smelling something foul.

I ignored her, because in my dream, it didn't even frustrate me at all, instead it made me feel bad for her.
I said, "K.. I wanna tell you something.."
And she walked away from me and was a bitch.
But.. I followed her because I didn't even want to punch her in the face.
I said, "Sarah, listen. I hate you sometimes, but not really. I hate the way you are annoying and the way you act. But I just want to tell you that I know why you act this way."
She gave me that look. "uhh, what way??"

"I know it's not your fault that you're psycho and I know you hate me but I think it's for the wrong reasons. I understand you a little better now and I think that something must be done to help you."

Okay, real Lisa has no idea what that means because I DON'T understand her and i don't know what makes her a crazy bitch.
I just think that Justin totally fucked her over and fucked her up and she dwells on it and she has some personal problems that get to her and make her feel like she needs to prove something to everyone.

and in the process, she hates me for it, regardless of whether I did anything to her or not. She was trying to fix things with Justin and then I came and he grew apart from her.

ANyways, I woke up and felt absolutely nothing bad towards that girl.
I wanted to call her and bake her a pan of brownies.
(I love brownies, so it's just natural that I feel they would make anyone else feel better as well.)

It was the weirdest thing.
I have no idea what it meant.
Pregnant girls have really weird dreams.

Like I said, I was telling this to Liz and she basically told me I was a moron.
She said Sarah will never be nice, my dream was all fake, and there's nothign that will change her from being a bitch.

I think she just needs someone to love.

Just liek Saddam Hussein.
I bet a wife could've put him in his place.

:: 2006 30 December :: 1.26pm

Well, I just got out of the shower a little bit ago and then proceeded to fold mine and Justin's clothes.
That's done so I'm just chillin', waitng to go to Lowes to get shit for the apartment.

There are a couple more pictures on my photo album.

Other than that, not much of an update here.
I'm jsut being bored.

I feel bad for Saddam Hussein, is that weird?
Did you see how sad and scared he looked when he was about to be hung? I just get hurt feelings for people.
=/

Maybe it's just this pregnancy thing?

Cause I was telling Liz how I get these weird dreams..
Like for real, I have the weirdest dreams.

The other night I had a dream that I was somehwre.. I dont know..
But we were in like an auditorium and Sarah was next to me.
but she didn't look like regular Sarah.
she looked the way I would make her look if I was on a makeover show.

She had hair a little longer than shoulder length and it was all flipped out and it was regular brown, like mine.
And she had eyebrows in my dream.
But not just any eyebrows, the kind I would make her have if we were friends and I told her to grow them in so I could shape them.
And instead of wearing her make up a horrible way, she wore it the way I would put it on her to fit the shape of ehr face.
I can't remember exactly what she was wearing but they were jeans that were pulled up all the way instead of sagging down how she wears them and she was wearing a shirt that covered the pouch on her belly.

So I was like, "You look really pretty, Sarah."
and she was like, "uhh okay," and gave me that look she always wears that makes you think she is smelling something foul.

I ignored her, because in my dream, it didn't even frustrate me at all, instead it made me feel bad for her.
I said, "K.. I wanna tell you something.."
And she walked away from me and was a bitch.
But.. I followed her because I didn't even want to punch her in the face.
I said, "Sarah, listen. I hate you sometimes, but not really. I hate the way you are annoying and the way you act. But I just want to tell you that I know why you act this way."
She gave me that look. "uhh, what way??"

"I know it's not your fault that you're psycho and I know you hate me but I think it's for the wrong reasons. I understand you a little better now and I think that something must be done to help you."

Okay, real Lisa has no idea what that means because I DON'T understand her and i don't know what makes her a crazy bitch.
I just think that Justin totally fucked her over and fucked her up and she dwells on it and she has some personal problems that get to her and make her feel like she needs to prove something to everyone.

and in the process, she hates me for it, regardless of whether I did anything to her or not. She was trying to fix things with Justin and then I came and he grew apart from her.

ANyways, I woke up and felt absolutely nothing bad towards that girl.
I wanted to call her and bake her a pan of brownies.
(I love brownies, so it's just natural that I feel they would make anyone else feel better as well.)

It was the weirdest thing.
I have no idea what it meant.
Pregnant girls have really weird dreams.

Like I said, I was telling this to Liz and she basically told me I was a moron.
She said Sarah will never be nice, my dream was all fake, and there's nothign that will change her from being a bitch.

I think she just needs someone to love.

Just liek Saddam Hussein.

:: 2006 29 December :: 12.32pm

i was dreaming of a white christmas

Fortunately, it didn't suck that bad.
Christmas Eve, after we chilled at my gram's and opened presents,
me and Justin slept over my house to wake up for Christmas morning.

I was more involved with his pile of presents than my own.
I was so worried about him having a good Christmas.
=/
There were a couple phone calls I didn't get to make that I wish I could have, but other than that, Christmas was cool.

I got tons and tons of clothes, and a bunch of other cool stuff.
i got a pot and pan set, a bed set, an ipod (that i may just take back and give my mom the money), some slippies, a new robe, a couple new purses, socks and undies, and bunches of more goodies.
i don't even remember what else.
basically, it was cool.

i think i still want to go out and buy my mom more things because she is always worried about looking out for everyone else and she doesn't have anything she wants.

i have to work at 1:00 today and i hate it.
the boys are up at the apartment fixings things up and trying to make the most of the horrible sparkly gold texture paint that the previous renters put up.
it's horrible.
my pap was joking about it and said he picked out that color and also a sparkly black for the other wall.
i just don't understand what would possess someone to paint a house that way and that's exactly what i kept asking my mom.
she said they probably thought it was going to look nice, but after they painted one wall don't you think they would've stopped?!

anyways, we were up there yesterday trying to sand the mess out.
i wish i could go up there today but i can't.. not til after work.

anyways, i think i'm done with this for now.
i am going to go try to find my shoes.

:: 2006 24 December :: 3.27pm

hypocrites.. what a piece of shit.

I woke up with a million things to do today and ended up sitting here like a lazy bum!
However, I messed around with a bunch of pictures and added some cool effects. You can check 'em on my photo album.

I think it's a big joke how hypocritical some people are.
check this shit out:

she runs her mouth about my sister and when my sister confronts her she acts innocent.
i hate people liek that.
people that act like they don't read my journal every single day when i definitely have a counter on it that tells me exactly when you read it. ;]

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
April just made some delicious trukey.
Ed brought me a bunch in here and mmmmm i can't get over how yummy it is. I think I could eat the WHOLE thing!!!
best thing i ever ate!

I love Happy Gilmore.
.. Actually, I lvoe anything Adam Sandler.
Maybe that's why I cmae up with the name Julian?

I don't know what time we're going over my gram's though, so I think I'm going to get as much Resistance in as I can before we have to leave. =)

Okay I just wanted to make my comment on girls who talk about how pussy it is to not show up for a fight you're going to get jumped for but never mention the fight that they didn't show up for after calling up a couple girls to back 'em up against a 90lb skinny bitch.

:: 2006 22 December :: 8.48pm
:: Mood: anxious

new pictures.. that's about it

I can't believe Christmas is just in a couple days!!
I still have presents to BUY let alone wrap!

Johnny and Bub are playing madden right now.
we jsut got a playstation3. it's pretty bad ass.
so that's what we do now.
i'm waiting for them to roll out, actually..
because i'm going to call christina over to play some Resistance!!

Uhh..
other than that..

I can't wait for Christmas.
Me and Justin are going over my gram's for Christmas Eve like always and then sleeping over my mom's to wake up for Christmas morning.
=)

I dunno what I'm going to wear for Christmas pictures yet though.. =/
I'm kinda a fatty now. Haha!

I guess I'll wear a sick pair of courds that Cassie gave me.
Speaking of Cassie, it was soo nice of her mom--she gave me and Justin a christmas card--our first one together!

The only thing I'm kinda putting off about Christmas is getting in touch with my dad. I've been procrastinating about it for a while now.. =/

Me and Justin got a sick new t.v. for a living room and sold Johnny our old one. We have one for the bedroom and the new one for the living room now.
We're all set to move now... I can't wait! =)
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! I'm going crazy!!!!!!!!!!

Haha, Shaunzie's new thing is "parking spots for expectant mothers."
I don't even know if there is a such thing, but I guess there used to be one at Best Buy.
The other day we went to Eat n Park and Shaunzie and Cody came to sit with us after he got off work cause Shaun was there to pick him up.
Shaun's like, "hey, sorry i parked in your spot."
i didn't get it until we got outside and he was parked right in front.
hahahaha. what a dork.

He and Cody saw us at Long John's about a day or two later and Shaunzie made a remark about me parking in the expectant mother's spot again since I was parked off in the little cubby.

Ohhh brother. I wish there was a such thing. It would give my lazy ass an excuse not to walk far!! Haha.

This entry is long enough..
I guess I'm out for now.

Im-Sorry
[ xsilentxsuicidex ]

:: 2006 22 December :: 8.56am

i'm sorry that you're not yourself anymore.
i'm sorry that you let drugs get in the way.
i'm sorry that i couldn't help this.
...i'm sorry that i wasn't enough.
that everything i did, was not enough.

you are not the same boy that i fell in love with,
and there was nothing i could do to stop you from changing.

i am not sorry.
but you should be.

:: 2006 21 December :: 12.45am

I should be in bed, but I can't go to sleep!
It sucks because I have to get up early to work at 10:30.
I am starting to regret I begged Andy to work tomorrow. =/

I was supposed to have a hearing tomorrow at 10:00 which would've sucked even bigger time.
It got cancelled though, I don't know why.
I don't even feel liek going to it.. what's the point in having a hearing for something you plead guilty to??
I admitted I did it, and it was well over a year ago.. I think it's all jsut stupid bullshit now.
Ugh, whatever. It's postponed now so I'll just get it over with when the time comes.
I didn't think putting disgusting pictures on myspace would be that bad..?

I mean, when you go around bragging about taking naked pictures of yourself on acid, especially to your mother, you have some serious problems. Of course, we all know she has problems when she goes around announcing them to anyone who will listen.

Throw some paint thinner on someone's car, get some naked pictures of yourself on a fake myspace page. I figured it was all the same. If I was aware of her ill-mentality at the time, I wouldn't have done it. Especially if I would've been smart enough to realize that it was just makign her wish she were me more and more.

Yuck.

:: 2006 18 December :: 11.59am

girls put on fronts, but they're all the same
--jealous haters with mental issues who can't stop talking about us.

( That subject applies to more than one lady. =] )

When I say I write in this for myself..
that really means that I write in my other journal the things I don't want anyone to know about and I keep this one for the sole reason to entertain myself.
I write everything I know that is going to come back to me by the means of immaturity so that I can laugh at how jealous and childish people are.
When I say "jealous girls," it is because I could write paragraphs among paragraphs--pages among pages--of nothing more than a bunch of bullshit about boys and the silly things they do.
..but is it going to come back to me? no. only girls.

*thanks for making my life that much more entertaining.

Anyways,
I'm getting ready to go to work. Justin went to West Virginia.
I'm awfully bored and writing CJ a letter.

Yesterday, me and my mum spent the whole day Christmas shopping.
By the end of the interminable 5 hour day, my legs felt like they were going to buckle underneath me, my back was as sore as a slut's bare ass after a night with a man holding a whip, and i was walking with a limp because i could barely move.
After that, me and Justin went to Best Buy to pick out a new t.v.
I don't see what the point in having three t.v.s is, but whatev.
We were looking for a 32", but instead we set our hearts on a 50" only to be brought down by the very cool and knowledgable salesman who told us that projection t.v.s sucks.
Soo.. we decided on a plasma t.v.--nope, he talked us out of that one with the word "madden."
so we're going with an LCD screen.
the 32" like we planned on? Nope. We talked each other out of that one and we're going back later and getting a 40".
It doesn't sound like much of a difference, but.. it seemed to be when you were looking at the two.

My work Christmas party--was fun.
We spent three hours at Sonny's and ate delicious food.
I love the people I work with. They're lovely.
=)

I think it's time to go eat again. I woke up to Justin bringing me in a plate of yummy pancakes and a glass of orange juice, but that was at 9:00!!! I could go for a sandwich on toast right about now. =)

Overall, i'm very happy lately and nothing anyone says could bring me down. When you try, I laugh at you.
Kinda like how people write blogs about my sister making up lies and we read them and laugh. HAHahahahahahHAHAHAHA.
If she's never said a word to you, what reason is there to do that?
Nevermind, we're dealing with a girl who has mental problems ontop of mental problems.
She's so much cooler than you are. Don't be jealous because you're not as pretty as she is. Just get over it. It's not hard.

:: 2006 16 December :: 1.38pm

psssyyyccchhheeeee

Ugh. December 27th can't come sooner.
"What's December 27th?" you ask?
It's the day we move in to our new apartment. =)

Don't stalk us to find out where it's at either, we are telling a very limited amount of people. ;]

We have pretty much everything ready to move. We don't have a couch yet, though, so we worked on picking one out and I think we found just the riiight one. =)

Our bedroom is going to be green and goldish with black furniture.
Julian's room is going to be light blue and the theme we have picked out is a zoo theme. It's really cute.
The living room is going to be browns & blacks.
The kitchen is white, red, and black.
The bathroom.. well, I took my shower curtain from my bathroom at my house which is like a gold color, so we might do like golds and browns and tans and maybe green for an accent color.
Sound nice?

Grrr.. I can't wait.
It sucks waiting on people!
We have to wait for the people who live there now to move out and it seems like it will take five years!!

=(

I can't wait to get our new puppy, neither.
Travis and Brent told us to take Hennessey.
She's cute, haha, but we're definitely going to get our *own* dog.
I put it in nice words because Justin will say, "we would rather not have a dog who's been in five different homes."
=/
I like her though, I was playin rough with her the other day and got cut by her puppy teeth. =) that's okay, i miss playing with a puppy, it's been a while since we saw Denol's dogs and Hailey grew up just as fast as Flip did.. =/
I wonder how big Kilo is now..!

We were supposed to go today to pick out the one we wanted but Justin forgot he was supposed to go with Mav to Mav's tattoo appointment with Jim.
and then after he gets back we have like an hour to get ready for my Christmas party at work..
It's at Sonny's, I'm pretty pumped about it.
I wonder who my secret santa is??
I can't wait to see Amber drunk, it's going to be a blast I think.

Ughh.. okay.. uploaded more pictures so if you wanna see them, go ahead.
My cameras dead but I still have more to add:
http://meehan0125.myphotoalbum.com/albums.php

:: 2006 15 December :: 3.55pm
:: Mood: drained
:: Music: Turn to Gold - Audioslave

Final Scores
Accounting - 100%
Business Management - 100%
Psychology - 95%
English - 100%

That's all the finals I had, and they were all really good, so I'm happy.

Tomorrow night is the Christmas dance... I so do not want to go, but my friends and I always get a group photo and I do already have my dress so I can't just not show up.
My hair appointment is at 1:30 so I'll have to use lots of hairspray so it'll stay. We're all going to go eat in Joplin at 4:00, then the dance starts at 7:00 I think, so we'll only be a little bit late for the start of it.
I'm debating just taking the pictures and then leaving, because I still have to do some last minute shopping.
I have to get a movie for Jessica, something for one of my teachers, something for the gift exchange at church this sunday, and something for my youth leaders... yeah. Goodbye all my money.

Everyone was bitching me out for not coming up town tonight, but... fuck them. I'm staying home and talking to Kelly for a little bit, and then I'm going to pray my face doesn't break out and die tomorrow, and sleeping. I don't even know how I'm going to do my hair. Geeze. I'm so behind in everything.

Note to self: Get your shit together.

:: 2006 14 December :: 9.27am
:: Music: Face Down - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Today marks the third month Kelly and I have been together.
Love him.

I had my Accounting final this morning, and I messed up one transaction, but thankfully I caught it before I turned it in.
I have my Psychology final today as well. I wasn't worried about my Accounting one, but Psych is a whole other story.
Kelly said I need to not be such a worry wart, so I'm trying to tell myself it'll be alright, but I'm still terrified.

Last night Ashley and I were messing around, and she tickled me and I threw my head up and she brought hers down and we killed eachother. I have a huge goose egg on my left eyebrow, and she's got one on the right side of her forehead.
Painful.
Funny.

Ok, I have to study for Psych now.

Oh yeah, did I mention I love Kelly? Cause I so do.

:: 2006 13 December :: 10.35pm

The good news.. and the bad news...

I'm sitting here watchin Justin and Johnny play poker--pretty ridiculous.

Yesterday, he went to basketball so I went to look at a house with my mom and dad for me and Justin. It was pretty ncie overall, but I had to decide.
Then, this very morning, just as I had made my decision, about five other offers came up and it made it REALLY hard to decide.
I think our final answer is pretty clear, though.
We're moving in ASAP and hopefull we're there by Christmas. =)

Other than that--we will, of course, be taking Tubby. =)..
but ALSO! we will be taking our NEW puppy!!! =D
(that's what i'm REALLY excited about!!)

The only thing that I can say sucks right now is that I thought Sarah was staying out of my business, only to find that she was reading my blog today and checked back entries dated to October. Pretty lame.
I wish that girl would get a life.
If I had known about her serious mental issues over a year ago, I would've made sure me and Justin moved as far away from her as possible. I've just come to find that she tries to start trouble in every direction she can. I hate that.
That's okay.. it's gonna be pretty hard to track us down when we're out of Belle Vernon and living our OWN life with our FAMILY.
=)

Eh, i'm bored.
I'm going to continue to look up furniture that my mom's buying me for Christmas, so I'm out.. lata!!!

:: 2006 10 December :: 11.23pm

hmm.. lookin' back...

I'm reading my xanga.
It mainly takes place at the beginning of Cody's and my relationship and it's so weird.
My entries seem to get over him so fast every time we would break up and not talk for a month. I couldn't imagine that happening with Justin. I don't think I could breathe without him.
That's another thing. It will say, "oh, cody this-cody that. i like him so much," and then it will say "hanging out with justin was the best part of my day," and have what we did in bold letters.
wtf? did i always like justin?

i always figured that i loved justin but.. i always knew it was a different way from how i loved cody.

in one entry there's this poem i wrote when we broke up,
"I thought we had something that would last,
I thought you'd change, despite your bad past,
I loved you completely with all of my heart,
I dreaded the day, but denied we'd ever part.

I found you by accident, not looking for love,
You're tricks & your charm, I wasn't aware of,
I figured it would be just another game for me,
Loving you was definitely not meant to be.

I should've listened to the stories I heard,
But falling for you, I believed your every word,
Everything people said, I looked past it all,
I ditched all my friends to wait for your call.

With each stupid fight, I'd sit and I'd worry,
I'd cry out my eyes while my vision got blurry,
When you did something wrong I'd think of what to say,
But my mind would go blank with the sound of your "hey".

As much as I need you, I must let you go,
I want to be with you, but the answer is "no",
I yearn for you to come make me whole,
Without "You and I", I can not be full.

I considered us perfect, we were told it was fate,
I wanted you for always to be my soul-mate,
There's nothing about you I will forget,
And on that statement, our lives I would bet.

I can't forget one simple thing,
How you'd bring me to tears with each song that you'd sing,
Impossible to forget each time that we'd kiss,
You holding me close is what I sure will miss.

But depsite everything, and I do not know why,
Despite everyday that you made me cry,
Despital every dick thing that you do,
I want you to know... I will always love you."

but.. it's weird, because I forgot about that poem, but reading it reminds me of how I felt when I wrote it. You know? Like how when you think about a certain thing in the past you can hear a song you associated with it?
That's what it's like.. and.. I understand those feelings but they're not like what I feel for Justin.
I can't say I never loved Cody.. because I don't know if that's true,
I think it just wasn't as *serious* as what Justin and I have.
He broke my heart quite a few times but we also shared millions of good memories.

He was my best friend and now he is just someone of my past.
Kinda like him and Justin are, I guess.
I think we woudl be able to get along without dating each other but I would never want to do it for risk of losing what I have and what I LOVE.

I wouldn't change a thing about what I have right now for the world.
I made some mistakes in my past and I'm living with them now, but that's just my consequences. In a few weeks I will be put on probation for my first and ONLY time for something childish and spiteful that I have done but I am perfectly fine with that and I've accepted it.

It's how you gotta live. =)
..and I'm happy with my life.

You can say I'm stupid for being happy about starting a family so young, but it wouldn't phase me at all. I've grown up a lot.. even within the past few months.

:: 2006 10 December :: 4.44pm

Update? I'd say it's time.
I found a new photo album site that definitely kicks ass over every other one there is.

The link to it is: meehan0125.myphotoalbum.com.

There are so many options I can change.
I don't have very many pictures uploaded to it yet, but I will get some soon.
Besides that, I have to recharge my digital camera because my battery died on me last night. =(
After that, I'll get on the picture-taking. It's more fun when you have somewhere to upload it to.

Other than that,
Sanford jsut ran away and I had to go catch him.
Ed let him go. =(
Luckily, I drove around and got to only Shaunzie's house when I found him.

Last night, we went to Cam's house.
A few people started callign Cam asking him if he was okay when we heard about a big wreck on 51 involving six kids from Belle Vernon.
Liz was going to the movies with Abby and Briana, so I called to make sure she was alright when she told me that just before I called, Erin Naylor called Abby crying becuase the driver of the smashed vehicle was Jared.
Me and Justin went out there to check it out. It was pretty bad.
I can't stop thinking about it, I hope everyone's okay.

I guess Jared was driving North down 51 as a state cop was heading South towards like.. Get Go..
Jared attempted to make the left off of 51 onto McHenry when they collided.
Surprisingly, the police car was intact and it looked liek he just opened his door and got out...

Geez..

:: 2006 7 December :: 10.04am
:: Music: Smack That - Akon & Eminem

It just wouldn't be a good day if the school's server didn't crash at least eight times in the middle of doing something important.

People annoy me today.
I've not been able to sleep lately.
Christmas dance is on the 16th. I don't want to go, but everyone will kill me if I don't. I'm almost at the "eh, I don't care if people get pissed" point. What will I do there? Watch all my friends dance with their person, while I overload on punch, causing me to take a trip to the bathroom every 20 minutes to piss, and sigh non stop thinking of how much fun I could be having if Kelly were here. I would so drag him to petty little High School dances.

I need to get my damn senior pictures schedualed and taken. I guess I'm doing it in Spring or some shit, because it's gross now and everything is dead. I hate pictures.

:: 2006 4 December :: 11.41pm

Ehh, just checkin' my shit.
Someone looked me up on classmates.com and I got an e-mail with an alert but I couldn't figure out where it says who it was.

Classmates.com talked me into signing up for a photosite(?). I dunno, does anyone have a photosite? I like to migrate towards what more people have to keep a part of a community. That's why I got my webshots, but I don't like the set up.

Uploading pictures...
that reminds me. I have to get a couple off my camera and onto the computer.

Hmm.. I don't think I like this photosite at all.
You can't really change layouts besides the ones that have premade..
Yeah, I definitely hate it.. too bad.

Ehh.. I think while I'm on the verge that I'm going to look for an album I like.. peace

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