And be a simple kind of man...

:: 2004 1 June :: 9.10pm

my sunburn hurts!!!

3 freebirds | Fly high...

:: 2004 1 June :: 8.52pm
:: Music: somewhere i belong - linkin park

I will never know
Myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til I break away from me
And I will break away
I'll find myself today

I want to let go of the pain I've held so long
Erase all the pain till it's gone
I want to heal, I want to feel
Like I'm close to something real
I want to find something I've wanted all along
Somewhere I belong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember what they taught to me
Remember condescending talk of who I ought to be
Remember listening to all of that and this again
So I pretended up a person who was fitting in
And now you think this person really is me and im
Trying to bend the truth
The more I push the more I'm pulling away
'Cause I'm Lying my way from you

This isn't what I want it to be
I never thought that what I said
Would have you running from me
Like this

you know...sometimes i remember the darkness of my past, bringing back these memories i wish i didnt have...sometimes i think of letting go and never looking back and never moving forward, so there would never be a past...

:: 2004 1 June :: 8.48pm

ali called and asked me to do her a favor nd then shes like i'll call u when my night minutes start i need to talk to you im like ok i say i need to yell at you she says ok and we're both like bye! =]~

1 freebird | Fly high...

:: 2004 1 June :: 8.27pm

oyy he makes my heart fall to my feet...<3

:: 2004 1 June :: 6.39pm

omg i've never felt so happy to be around someone in my entire life... how i feel is so indescribably great and bad at the same time... it kills me inside to know that i dont have him... me and meghan went to his grandpa's wake today... and i got two kisses on the cheek =] =] =] both times i had to turn around nd put a big smile on my face nd go woot! lolol... but seriously he makes me soo happy... its unbelievable how crazy he makes me... even when im not around him, hes with me every second -- cuz thats how often i think about him... ive never EVER felt this strongly about ANYONE.. and i kinda like it and i kinda dont... im soooo happy to be with him but the fact that he aint mine and i hate missing him every waking moment... i need him in every sense... physically and emotionally... physically cuz i think my heart will collapse on me and emotionally is kinda obvious cuz hes every thing i've ever wanted and more... and i mean that... he is EVERYTHING you could wish for in a guy... and i dont know how to control my feelings for him because everything i do is about him... all i see is him all i feel is him all i think is him... I CANT GET MY HEAD AROUND HIM!!! its not the falling temperature that makes my bones run cold... its the breeze he makes... the presence felt when he's around me.. i dont know whyy i feel this way i just cant help it... hes the sweetest guy i've ever known nd i feel like the luckiest person alive to know him... sometimes people say they fell head over heels... well i kinda did.. but i didnt fall nd just hit... i SLAMMED!

:: 2004 1 June :: 5.25pm

i dont know whats worth fighting for or why i have to scream
i dont know why i instigate and say what i dont mean
i dont know how i got this way i'll never be alright
so im breaking the habit tonight...
i'll paint it on the walls cuz im the one at fault...

:: 2004 31 May :: 7.23pm
:: Music: lying from you - linkin park

"Figure .09"
Linkin Park

Nothing ever stops all these thoughts
And the pain attached to them
Sometimes I wonder why this is happening
It's like nothing I can do
Would distract me when
I think of how I shot myself in the back again
'Cause from the infinite words I could say
I put all the pain you gave to me on display
But didn't realize instead of setting it free
I took what I hated and made it apart of me

It never goes away
It never goes away

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate myself from
What I've done
I've given up a part of me
I've let myself become you

Hearing your name the memories come back again
I remember when it started happening
I'd see you in every thought I had and then
The thoughts slowly found words attached to them
And I knew as they escaped away I was
Committing myself to them and every day
I regret saying those things
'Cause now I see that
I Took what I hated and made it apart of me

It never goes away
It never goes away

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate myself from
What I've done
I've given up a part of me
I've let myself become you

It never goes away
It never goes away
It never goes away
It never goes away

Get away from me!
Give me my space back, you've gotta just (go)
Everything just comes down to memories of (you)
I've kept it in but now I'm letting you (know)
I've let you go! So..

Get away from me!
Give me my space back, you've gotta just (go)
Everything just comes down to memories of (you)
I've kept it in but now I'm letting you (know)
I've let you go!

And now
You've become a part of me
You'll always be right here
You've become a part of me
You'll always be my fear
I can't separate myself from
What I've done
I've given up a part of me
I've let myself become you

I've let myself become you
I've let myself become lost inside
These thoughts of you
Giving up on part of me
I've let myself become you

:: 2004 31 May :: 2.25pm

sorry i havent updated... i've been @ the jersey shore!!! woot woot! timmy's second birthdayy.. if u asked him how old he is, he'd say two! and hold up 5 fingers lol it was sooo cutee!!! chrissy nd TJ came for that night too omg TJ's taller than me now!!!! its not fair!!! i've got a year on him but hes got a couple of inches on me! i was like nooo lol ok ANYWAY! OMG!! WE HAD SO MUCH FUN THAT NIGHT!!! WE PLAYED FOOTBALL IN THE DARK ON THE BEACH AT 10 AT NIGHT!! OMG SO MUCH FUN! me and chrissy actually scored touchdowns against TJ nd matt lol it was funny... and then we kept having to move cuz the big sand trucker guy was gunna run us over =]~ hahaha... me and chrissy got ELMO PARTY HATS!!! SO TOTALLY GHETTO! lmaooo chrissy's new nickname is ghetto girl rofl... but our hats were soooo cool lol... we went to the beach yesterday but it was cold and i got sunburn so no fun there... but then when we got back my brother HAD to play mini-golf so we went nd we were talkin to the people in front of us nd the lil kid was like maybe molly's age but his personality reminded me soo much of thomas's lol it was like i was talkinn to him i thought it was funny... ok soo lets see... then we went to kellys for dinner and then this morning i ate lots of pancakes nd bacon lmaoo... then we left and a one hour trip took THREE AND A HALF HOURS i was going CRAZY! oyy and now i gotta go cuz i got finals to study for... oh and after thinkin bout him ALL weekend, i saw him when i got homee<3

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 31 May :: 12.16am
:: Mood: tired

the 29th was a year 1/2 for jim and i.

happy memorial day. :-P

1 freebird | Fly high...

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

:: 2004 28 May :: 9.32pm
:: Music: in the shadows, the rasmus

aaaah i got the rasmus cd!!! yayyyyyy! woot woot! ive been watching ive been waiting in the shadows for my time ive been searching ive been living for tomorrows all my life! in the shadows<3

omg the lead singer is soo cool im beginning to think his voice is cooler than jordans!!! aah! and omg he loooks sooooo cool... he looks hot with eyeliner nd his feathers cominn outta his head lol im like in love w/him!

i feel really bad i kinda blew off shawn today... aah! its torturing me cuz i feel HORRIBLE! he asked me around 3 if i wanted to go to the movies nd i said i had a game nd he could come if he wanted so hes like alright nd then my game got rained out so i called him to tell him not to come but i was @ kaitlyns house when i called him nd hes like u wanna go then? and i said omg i didnt even think of it im @ kaitlyns nd hes like oh ok... and im like u can come w/us to 86th street if u want nd hes like no i told my friend i'd go to the movies w/him nd i was like ok well i'll ttyl then nd hes like ight bye and i feel bad cuz he asked me to chill before kaitlyn did and i went with kaitlyn! and i feel SOOOO BAD! i kept tellin kait come on lets go to the movies nd shes like i dun wanna and OMG I STILL FEEL BAD!!! I FEEL GUILTY!!!!! someone, ANYONE tell me how to stop being guilty...

i told kaitlyn im gunna apologize to him next time i see him... and if i dont talk to him by monday im gunna call him monday nd be like "hey im sorry for not goin w/u on friday u wanna go to the movies tonight?" oyy LEAVE ME A COMMENT PLEASEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

3 freebirds | Fly high...

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 27 May :: 10.06pm
:: Mood: bored

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Activity Level	\|\|\|\|\|\|	18%
Excitement-Seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Enthusiasm	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	29%
Trust	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Morality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Modesty	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Confidence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Neatness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	62%
Achievement	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%
Self-Discipline	\|\|\|\|\|\|	18%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	37%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Volatility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Depression	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	74%
Self-Consciousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Impulsiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Vulnerability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	29%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|	18%
Liberalism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	41%

:: 2004 27 May :: 9.33pm
:: Music: velvet revolver - slitherrr

this is a good song.. BUT SO IS 'IN THE SHADOWS' BY RASMUS!!! woot omg good song! one of my new favorite bands... its YC,SOTY, and now them! woohoo!!! omg i wanna write a long entry but i have nothing to write about!!! grrr!!!! ok well i must go now so bye...

:: 2004 27 May :: 4.19pm

omg it was soo funny we did the cha-cha slide in the middle of lunch wow i was cracking up it was great... who did it? oyy i cant remember everyone... um me and athena n jaime n mike and lorraine and evelyn n lucy.. wow it was hysterical

today was the last time im gunna see my kids!!! omg im so sad!!!! and i dont think me nd adrianna can go to their graduation cuz we have finals that day!!! ::tears:: i took LOTS of pictures today though! i got 2 pics of najee lolol adrianna we're never EVER gunna forget najee lol i cant believe james wasnt there he;s the cutest little kid EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!

everytime i try to fly i fall without my wings i feel so small, i guess i need you baby, and everytime i see you in my dreams i see your face, its haunting me i guess i need you baby<3 i've had a sudden obsession with that song! i cant remember if i updated yesterday lol i know im a loserr with no memory...

em's mad at peter nd i feel bad cuz hes upset! im tryin to help him but theres only so much i can do, i mean, she wont listen to me when i talk about him... omg now i feel horrible hes so upset he really really really likes her!!! ughhh this suckss... im outt... i dont have anything left to type...

shoutouts to that special someone<3

xxinterrupted

:: 2004 26 May :: 8.42pm
:: Mood: crappy

didn't go to school today. i woke up at like 6:00, took pain meds and musta fell back asleep.. i woke up around 11.

:: 2004 26 May :: 2.31pm

sorry i didnt updae yesterday... OMG! crap its late i gotta do my plan but i'll write more when im done with it!