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lilkristen
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2004 28 April :: 4.08pm
wow today was unbelivably funny!
mark n andrew were playinn handball against a brick wall and they were using a car behind them as a backstop and the window was like open halfway and the ball flew into the car and they couldnt get it by just reaching in so mark unlocked the door by reaching in and told andrew to go get the ball... but they're like fighting for ages like "someones gunna see us! im not doin it! you do it" etc etc so andrew finally agrees and opens the door but someone's cominn around the corner so me and ali yell shut the door shut the door!!!! so he slams it n moves just as this family turns the corner so they like walk away slowly and andrew says, ok, as soon as they pass the car im gunna do it quick...
they got in the same fuckinn car and said "how'd this door get unlocked?" andrew and mark just ran around the corner n bursted down the street til they were outta sight with the most hysterical looks on their faces...
i just burst out laughing...
the car drove away a few seconds later...
it was seriously funnyy...
then james threw a bottle cap at me n it was sharp but it just missed me so i picked it up n i aimed right for his face nd it hit him right under his eye it was pretty funny...
and did u know i can get sour strips for 10 cents??????? woot woot!!!! lmaoo... that means with 2 dollars i can get 20!!!!!!!!!!! rofl i think its really really funny...
i gotta go get ready for courtney's school playyy with all the turtles and the turtlenesss!!!! mwaaa
Fly high...
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2004 28 April :: 3.57pm
:: Mood: depressed
i hate everything about you.
why do i love you?
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lilkristen
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2004 26 April :: 10.02pm
:: Mood: crying..
i called ali... she was so upset she made me cry...
everything she told me was just so sad i needed to cry for her... i wanted to be there w/her soo badly... just to give her a hug nd let her know im here...
1 freebird |
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lilkristen
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2004 26 April :: 9.40pm
if i could find you now things would get better<3
i wish he was mine...
2 freebirds |
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lilkristen
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2004 26 April :: 9.35pm
ugh! i just wrote a long entry and it said "your journal has been updated" and it didnt update!!!! grr... bitchh
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2004 26 April :: 8.36pm
:: Mood: lonely
:: Music: evanescence - anybodys fool
i wish this never happened. it's going to ruin everything. it's already basicly ruined jim and i.. if i could have only one wish in my whole entire life, it'd be for it to just go away.. just go away. i want things the way they were before it happened!
jim's never around anymore, i don't have any friends because i don't talk to any. i need to tell someone; but i don't trust anyone anymore.. all my "friends" do is gossip. thats why i basicly stopped talking to everyone.. or if i do talk to them i don't tell them anything.
i hate this.
1 freebird |
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lilkristen
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2004 25 April :: 12.29pm
:: Music: sugarcult - memory
ali was home alone w/her grandpa n her grandma n her brother when he said he couldnt breathe right n she called an ambulance n everything but hes still in ICU n the poor girl's a mess... im worried about her<3
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:04 PM]: babyy r u ok? <33
Alicatt87 [12:04 PM]: honestly no
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:04 PM]: is there anything i can do?
Alicatt87 [12:04 PM]: cuz i saw it happen
Alicatt87 [12:04 PM]: no
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:04 PM]: r u sure?
Alicatt87 [12:04 PM]: i duno nemore its like i just wanna die
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:05 PM]: no u dont
Alicatt87 [12:05 PM]: yes i do
Alicatt87 [12:06 PM]: i saw everything happen on friday i feel like its my fault that hes in such bad condition cuz i didnt call ne1 earlier and i listened 2 ma stubborn poppy
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:07 PM]: no its not your fault! helloo? you did the really smart thing by calling ur dad and uncle charlie before calling 911 so that SOMEONE could come and help you who knew you're grandpas past, etc... u did the right thing nothing's your fault if u hadnt trusted ur instinct to call he may have gotten alot worse and god forbid something worse could have happened
Alicatt87 [12:09 PM]: i knoe just it just happened like dat and i didnt knoe wat 2 do ma grandma sed 2 call sum1 and ma hrandpa sed dont call ne1
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:09 PM]: and you did the right thing!
Alicatt87 [12:10 PM]: i duno i still think its ma fault...o fuck that just hurt
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:11 PM]: ali its not your fault you cant help that he has heart problems! you couldnt have affected that in any way! ali, if you hadnt called who knows i mean, god forbid he could have had a really serious heart attack if he wasnt treated... something really fatal could have happened... something alot worse than what already did
Alicatt87 [12:12 PM]: i knoe i knoe i knoe
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:16 PM]: :-(
Auto response from Alicatt87 [12:16 PM]: Our friendship is fOrever
nd withOut u i wOuld die..
i cOuld never let u go away
Or ever say goOdbyee..
friends frOm the beginning
nd sisters till the end..
u dont nO hOw goOd it feels
to call u my best friend...
SoFtBaLLgiRL2060 [12:17 PM]: you can get thru this<3 you're one of the strongest people i knoww, i have faith in you... everything's gunna be alright, be strong, believe
Alicatt87 [12:18 PM]: thanx
she thinks its her fault!!!!!
aah!
i like this song...
ok thats off topic..
i got into a HUGEEEEE fight with anthony... cuz he started smoking again... after he told me he gave it up for me... so i told him that i felt like i wasnt worth giving something up for n that i felt pushed aside and that it seemed like the drugs were more important to him than me... it was a mess...
what would i do w/out tim... he always cheers me up when i need it...
he tells me he pitched a no hitter yesterday n i said aww congrats n he said but i walked six guys in a row n got pulled in the first inning... but no one got a hit!!!
lmaoo hes such a loser
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2004 24 April :: 10.14pm
:: Mood: sad
:: Music: incubus - stellar
i'm just sitting here, turned on the radio and incubus is on. what luck i have.
..no i'm not lucky.
my life is going to shit.
friends, boyfriends, family. 3 important things;; or are they?
life has to many complications to it.. all we're supposed to do is live and die. so why do we have to get pregnant and make more mindless conforming people?
i'm sitting here in the dark with a bunch of candles lit. just like the last time jim was here.. i guess i really don't understand him anymore. i don't even know what's going on between us. i have to practicly black mail him to get him to stay over here. is it me? i think just being around me makes him sick anymore. ever since a few months ago. i know what the reason is. i know. but he keeps telling me that it's not the reason.. i don't know. all i know is that he can't keep doing the stuff he's doing.. i keep beating myself up over it; i blame myself because i think it's my fault. i probably is my fault anyways.
can you be so sad, and so happy at the same time? i guess you can;; because i am. i thought i was over that being sad shit.. but i guess when you make the biggest mistake in your whole life with someone who you thought loved you more than everything in the whole world.. being sad just comes easy. it comes easy..
i just remembered why i hate being in the dark..
my mom took me shopping today.. we went to gadzooks, hot topic, bon ton and dots. i got 2 pair of jeans, 1 pair of capris, and a bunch of shirts.. it made my mom happy that she was buying me things, cause she actually had money to spend.. she's under a lot of stress lately with the bar and everything. i've been working a lot more lately. i like it; gets my out of the house.. away from thinking about things. it's good for me i guess.
..i keep finding myself staring off into the candle on my desk.
friday i went shopping with my mom & george for things for the bar and everything. saturday i got up, went to the social hall in bentlyville for the making of the SADD video.. went to work right after that [@ 11] and then at 4:30 my mom and i went shopping. after that around 6:30- we went back to the bar so i could change and get freshened up. we left around 7:30 and my mom & george took me to hannah's birthday party. i got there at 8, stayed till 8:30, went home and now here i am.. without jim.
right now i have to go up and say bye to my aunt loraine.. she's leaving for the weekend; going to the amish country.. i haven't even talked to her in at least a week. i've been ignoring my friends, as well as my family. which is a lot more important to me then friends.. i have to start getting my priorities straight.
2 freebirds |
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lilkristen
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2004 24 April :: 10.09am
wanna make a change right here right now
wanna live a life like you somehow
*wanna make your sacrifice worthwhile*
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lilkristen
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2004 22 April :: 7.23pm
courtney wants me to come to see her school play and i actually really wanna go... bad... cuz they're all dressed up as turtles!!!!!!!! ahhhh!!!!
=]
im tired... i need sleep sooo damn badddd oyy... i dunno what to type anymore...nothing good goes on in my life to talk about... oooh how bout the joke on paul today that didnt go as planned...
its steph and paul's 1 year 2 month anniversary... so we were makinn a card for paul in l.a. cuz no one pays attention in l.a. lol and then steph says omg we should like pretend we're giving him a card and then give him one that says 'happy anniversary billy' and inside "thanks sooo much for keeping this a secret ur my everything you made my dreams come true i love you" blah blah blah and then i'd give it to paul and like make him read the inside cuz "i think its for him" and then billy walks out from around the corner with his arm around steph nd then flips out n is like wtf paul i didnt know youd be here omg n steph goes "i told you!"
and then i crack up laughing lol
it didnt really go like that
paul took the card from me but wouldnt read it for like 5 minutes so everything was thrown off n they kept walkin out with billy hanginn all over steph but he still hadnt read it and it was just soo fucked up... we couldnt wait to see pauls face but he fucked it up the little bastard
=]
hee hee
haha matt just completely skipped school today cuz he can cuz his parents are in vegas... luckyyy.. i wish my parents would go away together... its either one or the other...
the classes were small cuz half the people were absent today n i like small classes so yeaaa...
thats why im going to ss!!!!
aaah we got the medical forms which means i have to get shots and bloodwork and NOOO!!!! i dun wannaaa =[
as you probably alreadyy know i hate needles soo much!!!
ehh like im not pressured enoughh i have to pitch in my softball game on sunday... oy... ahh shit we play st. pats... ooh well, better then st bernadettes... or joe kennedy's team...
gotta go talk later
call me kelli
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2004 22 April :: 10.05am
:: Mood: bitchy
i guess now movies are more important than me, wtf. that's fuckin' pathetic.
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lilkristen
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2004 21 April :: 3.48pm
hey dude i love your band!
im so cranky its stupid...
im so short on sleep i cant take it! im sick! i need sleep! arghh!
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2004 21 April :: 10.31am
:: Mood: blank
haven't writen in almost a month. a lot of things have been going on- my internet being down for one. but my mom said she's calling today to fix it.. we'll see if she forgets.
i hate when people lie. especially when the lie involves me.
i hate when i eat all the time.
i hate it that i'm getting fat.........
i hate always having to watch my little sisters because i'm the only one ever home.
i hate getting up in the morning.
i hate when jim disappoints me.
..and when he never comes over.
..and when he lies.
..and when he doesn't keep his promises.
..and when he does something that makes me feel like shit or hurts me and it seems not to phase him or he turns it against me and acts like it's my fault.
i hate that my life revolves around jim, and his doesn't seem to revolve around me.
hmmmm, i started out only going to say something about people lying, and then i got a little carried away..
i still haven't paid the $2.. i have the money, i just haven't sent it yet. ahhh.. i have to send it soon, or my journal will be deleted.
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lilkristen
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2004 20 April :: 4.26pm
:: Music: miles apart
if i could i would do all of this again...
talked to kelli yesterday... she sounds just like sophia lol i thought it was funny
i need to change im going to the park later...
i feel sickk... really bad allergies...
today aint going so great... i gotta take care of two peoples problems, im sick, i cant run, i got locked out of the house, i used something for my face and my skin is like on fire n it aint like the kind of burning thats kinda like its drying out a lil my skin is on fire...oww
2 freebirds |
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lilkristen
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2004 19 April :: 4.38pm
hahahaha my dad almost burned the house down yesterday and i was like hysterical laughing
im soo achyy from playin softball 3 days in a row i think i pulled 3 muscles... OW!
aah ok hott guys outside byee!
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