At least you'll have my heart..

4 without you. | i can survive..

:: 2005 14 December :: 4.08pm
:: Mood: frustrated

help me !!
i cant get these colors && things to work ..
HELP ME !! lol

♥

2 without you. | i can survive..

:: 2005 13 December :: 4.36pm
:: Mood: sick
:: Music: tvs on

why not ?!
Read more..

:: 2005 7 December :: 12.35pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: everytime I die.

bleh.
I drive tomorrow. And we get to go to Mc Donalds. YAY! Stuff happened today; but I don't really have time to write. I have to leave in a few minutes to go get Stephen. :)

I really like him.
But I love Jordan.

BLEH.

it turns us on to turn you down.

emilypray.

:: 2005 6 December :: 12.13pm
:: Mood: blah
:: Music: keyboards.

So today; not that exciting. Just the plan regular day. I've decided that I'm not going to speak of Alison anymore. I don't care about her or her life anymore. Or Amberly, Christina, and Eryn. They can die for all I care. But if they don't I don't care about that either. Anyway. I finally told Stephen that "you're a mean face; especially when youre with Carissa. You never talk to me when your with her" "but you were with tim brown." "im glad he was with me so I wouldnt have to walk all by myself" "is that why you were mad yesterday?" "i dont know whatever" *gives me a hug**puts his head on my head* and says "I'm sorry". Little does he know.. I saw what he did to Carissa when I was standing behind them.. I don't think he knew I was there. But I saw he put his arm around her lower back and grabbed her shirt a little bit.. then let go. He does that to me.. but I don't want him doing it to her. I don't know. Angel said if I like him as much as I think I do.. then I should like him for a while. :) But. I don't know. My dad called the cops on me the other night. Yeah. I need a cigarette. Thank god for Lauren. CAN'T WAIT TILL I GET OFF THE BUS TO SMOKE THAT BITCH.

I'm gunna go.

emilypray.

2 without you. | i can survive..

:: 2005 6 December :: 11.42am

dolphins game
so sundays game .. had to be the best EVER !!

=)

&& whats even cooler ..
we had Donnie Jones`s .. tickets ..
yanno .. #5 .. mwah ;)

:: 2005 5 December :: 12.35pm
:: Music: There's a read why these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't figured it out yet.

Ok so I just wrote an entry that was nice and long. One of the best entrys ever and the fucking power went out at school.

sorrykids.

Haven't you heard that I'm the new cancer?
I've never looked better, and you can't stand it

And I know, and I know, it just doesn't feel like a night out with no one sizing you up.
I've never been so surreptitious, so of course you'll be distracted when I spike the punch.

3 without you. | i can survive..

:: 2005 30 November :: 12.10pm
:: Mood: irritated
:: Music: typing.

we real niggas; ya'll hoes.
so carissa is meeting stephen with me after 5th period now. did anyone care to know how i felt about this? apparently not. i mean; its not like i can be all "i dont want you to walk with us." i work with her now and i dont wanna start drama. these past few days have been hell. alison got her friends to call me 4953475 times. so i called her and bitched her out. she bitched me out as well. i wont make myself look big and bad or anything. all she kept saying was fuck and i was like dude chill out. and whatnot. it was kinda funny actually. then on top of that my brother found my pack of cigarettes when i went to tim browns house. i guess they just happened to "fall" out of my purse. but whatever. i took them back. i found them in my moms purse. and she came in and shes like "give 'em to me". and i played it dumb; ofcorse. and i was like "im gunna give them to my friend so she can have them". OHHHH. tim brown burned me a cd with a bunch of cool bands. i only know a few though.
panic! at the disco. (my favorite band of all time.)
blood brothers.
and i dont know the others. i'll find out who they are. theyre really good though. :) thanks to tim. im going to his house after school; my mom doesnt know yet; but i dont care. we're going to tell the bus driver that im his cousin or something. lol. i dont really have anything else to say. and i dont feel like typing anymore.
i love my jordan michael chandler.

emilychandler.♥

http://www.fueledbyramen.com/panic/main/images/2.jpg

7 without you. | i can survive..

:: 2005 30 November :: 10.42am
:: Mood: exhausted
:: Music: fallout boys- sugar

i hope everyone had a happy turkey day !!
so im back , like really back .. && im going to be updating again ♥[ ( maybe ;)) ] just cause .. i dont ever feel like it ..

--

anyways, so i have been back from ohio for urm a day .. and i still havent slept in three .. yeah 3 days .. im exhausted && im pretty sure im going to sleep when im doing doing this ..

soO we left last week .. on saturday at like 4 or something .. i dont really know, i was sleeping when mike ♥ && TONY <-- !! came to pick me up .. and kinda crawled into the front of the car and layed around .. never actually fell back asleep ..

&& bla bla bla .. its a 12000 mile car ride .. how exciting can that be ?!
--> yeah buddy we drove straight there ..
all the way to clevland .. since I bought tickets to the miamidolphins game .. =o)

---> the stadium .. was .. HUGE .. its a lot nicer than ours ..
the game sucked, they played like shit .. && i froze .. but it was fun ..

we whent to dinner && got a hotel room for the night we didnt want to drive the 3-4 hours back to Cincinnati untill the next day ..

for the first few days .. it was awful .. so cold !!
15 degress .. OHH !! it snowed !! ♥
awww .. i love the snow .. i havent seen it since i was like 12 ..
one day it was really bad though when we first woke up .. and we had to shovel it off the car ..lol who am i kidding .. i was WAYYY too cold .. i sat in the car && turned the heater on with mike .. and let tony do it .. heck hes from NY .. hes used to it.. ha ;)

we had so much fun for the 10 days .. we didnt wanna come home .. but were going to ~~texas~~ in feb ..
friggin` texas [[ shakes head ]]

the trip was muchO fun .. but im glad to be back
I MISSED MY BED .. i effin` love that thing ♥ =)

im wayyy to tired to post the pictures ..
but they are coming

HappyThanksGiving --> belated ;)

♥ ashh

:: 2005 29 November :: 3.05pm
:: Mood: content

just dont give a fuck ♥

im re -re doing my journal ..
&& cant decide how the heck the leave it ..
900 different layouts .. but i dont care enough to do it ..

BUT
once i do, i have a long update .. ;)

PA .. OH >> fucking awesome.

:: 2005 29 November :: 12.12pm
:: Mood: content
:: Music: kids.

stupid bitches talk shit.
well; today. didnt see stephen. well i did in the morning. and after 5th period. but i only saw him for a few seconds because i had to ask heather for a ride home because i dont wanna ride home with michelle. (i dont know if alison is riding home with her). so yeah. im kinda sad about that. i turned to go to heather and stephen screamed BYE EMILY. and i turned around with a depressed face; and was like bye. :\ but he had carissa to walk with him SO EVERYTHINGS OK. but the hallways were so busy; considering we were leaving the portables and it was raining. so everyone was running for some sort of shelter from the rain. and some of the weird kids were dancing around in it.. thats lame if you ask me. but thats besides the point. i was walking with tim brown today and i screamed out I FUCKING HATE ALISON. for no reason; well the only reason would be because i hate her. but i didnt know she was walking down that hallway. ive never seen her there before. but what was even funnier is that at that moment tim asked me if alison was near by and i looked and she was walking by it was so funny. i cant stress enough how much i hate her. i know we've gotten in our little pity fights.. but she went too far this time. and im always the one to give in. well its different now. i dont think she'll ask me to be friends with her. she can go get a boyfriend on her own this time. i wont be there to help her get some pity dick; fucking slut. i cant stop thinking about everything shes done.. and how bad she makes me look. standing next to her; guys wanna get in her pants. with me guys wanna get to know me better. but thats totally besides the point. from what i've heard from the guys shes done stuff with.. "she sucks; man. i didnt even cum". exact words from a few guys. its so funny. i hope she reads this and thinks about how much i know and how horrible and fucking stupid she was towards me. this is the most dumbest entry i've ever posted before. i sound stupid. i dont sound inteligente at all. and another thing; i feel stupid for wasting my time and writing this about her.. shes not worth the time. but since i have nothing else to do i'll keep talking. lol. all she can do is talk shit. and behind my back might i add. she wont say it to my face. its so funny. and im thinking about being friends with me and alisons mask enemy. alicia. i realized alicia didnt do anything wrong for me to hate her. alicia wasnt the one that had sex with alison's (her best friend of 5 years) boyfriend.. i mean we dont COMPLETLY blame alison.. but freedom of speech. she couldve stopped it. but she didnt. shes..... well..... a slut. i said it to her when she walked by before lunch. she deserves every single thing im giving to her. shes so self centered and she thinks everything is about her; when it isnt. and i know im going to lose alot of friends because of this.. but honestly. I DONT CARE. i did nothing wrong. and for her to go and tell everyone that she broke up with her boyfriend (tim brown) because I (MEE!!!) was ALL over him.. BULLSHIT. tim brown is my best friend in the whole world.. why in the world would i be ALL over him? and you know what's funny... alison knew tim for one night and she was ALL over him at homecoming. (that first night). i dont take back anything i've said; and will say. i dont regret it. she deserves every single thing she's going to get. and another funny thing is.. she doesnt do anything BUT talk shit behind my back.

Alison: go ahead and cry your eyes out. go get sympathy from your pathetic in your life kinda friends. because; you know how to do that.. and personally i wont do it anymore. im not going to give you sympathy because your parents got in an accident. im not going to give you sympathy because you lost one of the best friends youve ever had. i wont give you anything but pity. pity for thinking your better than me. you may be older; skinnier and well i was going to say smarter but we all know im smarter.. so yeah. anyways; but i have such a better everything besides looks compared to you. im not a slut. the most ive done is make out. i would never do anything with my bestfriends boyfriend. EVER. and i would never tell your secrets to other people. i would never let someone take my phone and text you and call you a bitch. i would never say "no wonder people call you a bitch" just because you wanted to know if i was alright. i would never ditch you for another guy. never have and now... i never will.

you fucking bitch; i hope you get backstabbed like you backstabbed me.
FUCK YOU.

:: 2005 28 November :: 12.29pm
:: Mood: aggravated
:: Music: kids.

fuck bitches.
i dont know if alison knows yet or not.. but we're NOT friends. ANYMORE. fuck her. she lies; makes herself look good; and wanting too much attention for my liking. SO FUCK HER. cassi might as well die now; i'm gunna fucking beat that bitch down.

WATCH IT.
kbye.

i love tim brown.

Read more..

:: 2005 28 November :: 9.31am
:: Mood: artistic

I LOVE SHELBER AND TIM BROWN.

TREMENDOUS TRIO; BITCHES.
you jealous.

3 without you. | i can survive..

:: 2005 17 November :: 12.38pm
:: Mood: moody
:: Music: nothing.

IM GEED UP FROM THE FEET UP, SON.
so. whats been going on hoes? i got my hair cut... again! Briana did it. its the sweetest. i need to hurry because i have 5 minutes left in here.. yeah sucks. so anyway, i like this new kid Stephen. he knows now because his cousin samantha told him.. but whatever. i like him alot. he has so many things ive been looking for in a guy. :) except for one thing.......... a girl friend. i dont know if he likes me.. next time i update ill put pictures of when he came over. well i think im gunna go...

i only have a few minutes.

PEACE OUT NIGGAS.
♥