spud
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2006 6 April :: 2.01am
:: Mood: i must be eeemo...
:: Music: the Impressions - People Get Ready
these are rhetorical...
i can't focus. i can't think about anything else. i'm just so lost in my own head. so zoned out. i'm sick of having responsibilities. i don't want them anymore. i just want to subsist, but i'm in a society that won't allow it. and i want to figure out who i really am, and what i'm really here for. how the fuck am i supposed to do that when i can't even properly exist here? and how am i supposed to have a healthy relationship with anyone when i'm insane? and is there a way to have a truly healthy relationship without treating it like you're fucking married? i mean, dad and kathy are great, and i'm really happy for them and the steps that they've taken together. and i would one day like to take those same steps. but not right now, man. not right now. right now i'm supposed to be crazy college party all the time like. i'm supposed to skip my classes. i'm supposed to ignore this paper i'm writing. i'm supposed to waste mommy and daddy's money.
right?
i'm supposed to be a general education loser. i'm certainly not the "honors" type. but now that i'm here, it's like i'm stuck in the commitment. like i have to finish what i started unwittingly. that's really fucking fair. say "hey, umm... listen, we're not going to tell you what you need to do. we'll just give you free reign, and you can guess a lot. and for every wrong guess, you get an anal probe and a loan to pay off. how does that sound? good." then when i fuck up, i guess i just should have known better, according to them. but HOW oh wise ones. HOW am i supposed to know better, when in actuality, i know virtually nothing at all. and what little knowledge i do have is so trivial, so mundane, that it's not even worth knowing.
feelings suck, because they lie to me. and i have a hard time discerning between them and the truth.
i wanna go to bed.
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spud
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2006 31 March :: 1.16pm
:: Mood: mmmmmmm
liberal smatterings of dry humping.
so, i haven't updated in awhile. i've been pretty busy, i guess, with school stuff, and shannon stuff.
her play is tonight, and her family is coming up to see it. i guess we're having dinner with them afterwards. i'm very much looking forward to that. and then her brother, marty, will be staying up here with us for the weekend. that should be fun too. i need to figure out some things for us to go and do, though. i mean, i figured on stopping in at eDen, because marty is kind of a gamer. but beyond that, i don't really have anything in mind.
peace stuff!
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spud
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2006 23 March :: 10.57pm
:: Mood: splunge.
:: Music: peanuts MIDI
funny video
Read more..
http://videos.streetfire.net/playlistbuilder/buildasx.ashx?fileid=3D2DE2BE-74D5-4885-8C64-15AFFC25839C&t=D596BFBA-20BC-4317-A794-B7186E087AF9
in other news, i really like these talks shannon and i have every so often. it's just so refreshing.
i'm super-tired.
and hungry. mmm. hungry.
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spud
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2006 23 March :: 11.11am
:: Mood: fantastic
:: Music: none
none
I put my muffins in the oven at exactly 11:11 am. i thought that was cool.
and i'm in 308,308th place for the facebook march madness competition. i wonder how many that's out of...
aside from that. shannon's great. but i'm failing college. and the two are only marginally related. very marginal.
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spud
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2006 20 March :: 12.50am
:: Mood: sleepy
:: Music: bnl - break your heart
long weekend.
saw peter pan saturday night. that was interesting. weird to be back at school. i'll visit sometime in may, probably. just to see all my old teachers and friends and everything.
friday night i saw "V for Vendetta", and went to olive garden with shannon, stephanie, and sarah. it was stephanie's birthday. she's younger than addison, but she's a sophomore. tee hee.
umm. friday night went down to shannon's. saturday morning drove her to binder park zoo to fill out the paperwork and take her drug test and get fitted for her uniform. spent the afternoon loafing around her place. i played pokémon with marty. that was interesting. came back here last night, crashed for like 11 hours straight. french toast for brunch, and a nice long walk through the ravines. i took some pictures. did laundry. got a sharpie tattoo. dentist appt. tomorrow.
and i'm sick. but that's okay. i'm not crisp, but i can still function.
sleep well, kids.
edit: in case anyone cares, we kissed on the roof saturday, just for shits and giggles, and it made me laugh. but it did not, thankfully, provoke the evacuation of my bowels. just f.y.i.
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spud
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2006 16 August :: 11.49am
:: Mood: spät
:: Music: Frat Rock (various artists)
i've kissed 36 ways?
Read more..
who'da thunk it?
::
dude, that command was super-easy.
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spud
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2006 15 August :: 10.42pm
i can't say no.
i can't even say "wait a minute baby, let me lock the door so jim doesn't walk in like last time."
like every time. this whole lack of discipline thing has got to go. but to discipline myself would mean to take myself seriously. and that just aren't happenin'.
alrighty. i should do homework. will i? we all know the answer to that one.
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spud
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2006 12 March :: 10.23am
:: Mood: shitshitshit
fluffy bunnies and rainbows?
sorry about the previous post. had i known that it would be that big a bother, i wouldn't have posted it.
somebody else sent it to me, and i figured i'd share it with those of you who appreciated it.
apologies to those who didn't.
LAN party right now. college later. anal rape soon to follow college.
just thought you ought to know.
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spud
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2006 8 March :: 8.03pm
:: Mood: Hungry
met the famdamnily
yeah, so i met her folks, and her brother, and her friends, and her cat and dog (a.k.a. miss kitty and otto), and they were all very, very cool.
i do need to boost my proficiency in push rummy though. i have a feeling i'll be getting lots of practice.
okay, so rundown:
friday crashed at dad's. saturday, went out with hunter and cole. sunday, left hunter's, came home for awhile, went down to shannon's met pj and lulu, among others. meatloaf and potatoes and pumpkin pie for dinner. monday, took shannon and annie downtown k-zoo to the kvcc museum thing. that was cool. back home, ("home" tee-hee) spaghetti and strawberry shortcake for dinner. tuesday, went to saugatuck to work on teh car. had lunch at the kalico kitchen. went to the beach, walked on the ice. home again, tacos and brownies for dinner. today, went to the binder park zoo for a job interview (shannon, not me). went shopping at kohls and barnes & noble. at kohls i got a new kitchen knife, ladle, scoop, spatula, and ... i don't remember. and i also got shannon a skirt that was on clearance, and i got myself a green cashmere sweater for FIFTEEN DOLLARS!!! CASHMERE!!! FIFTEEN DOLLARS!!! IN THE SAME SENTENCE!!! shannon found it. i was super impressed.
oop. mom and lib are home now. i guess we're doing chinese for dinner.
bye!
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JustADreamer
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2006 5 March :: 8.51pm
:: Mood: tired
:: Music: Three Days Grace
Seriously: bor-ambl-entry.
Whoo.
I'm going to Dallas with my friends Skye and Drew tomorrow, and staying until Thursday evening. Skye goes to school at the Art Institute there in Dallas. Dallas is about 2 and a half hours away from here, and my brother Jamie lives there with his wife.
There. In-for-ma-tive. (-hugs Mitch Hedberg doll.-)
Man, I really miss my little Woohu journal.. but school keeps me busy nowadays, and I rarely have much of anything to update about except for classes. -_- Hyah.
In other news, I am supposed to be getting a jeep. Well, it's not necessarily mine, but Mom and I are going to claim it's ours. It's Skye's jeep, actually, though it's soon to be ours.
Yeah.
Anyway, I've got to find something to do for a while. I can't go to sleep yet; it's too early.
.. hm.
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2006 2 March :: 1.40am
:: Music: cake - love you madly
i may be fucked.
...
yep. thinking so.
but at least i have good music to listen to. is it weird that i miss her? she's right here, i know. just that i haven't seen her. and i'll be seeing her soon.
right. business.
except for not.
EXCEPT FOR TOTALLY!!! bwahhahahahaha... oh, i'm one silly bitch.
k.
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spud
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2006 28 February :: 4.55pm
:: Mood: whelmed again...
:: Music: ben folds - carrying cathy
"do you go 'round drenching everyone with flame retardent chemicals?!"
i got this like an hour ago (shoved through the crack under the door):
"although students do not need to vacate their living centers over spring break, those planning to stay for all or part of spring break MUST notify their living center director by completing an extended stay form which they can pick up at their front desk. students must register with their housing staff member no later than noon on tuesday, february 28th."
if i receive the message during class, to be retrieved when i get out of class at 4pm, tuesday, february 28th, how am i supposed to do all this running around filling out papers bullshit before noon today? i'm pretty sure that's not humanly possible. i just get sick of all the bullshit, and how i'm always the last one to know. like it's some big secret... or even if it isn't a secret, chris can't know, because it'll piss him off, and that'll be one funny reaction to watch. oh, what a laugh. (realistically, i know it's not a malicious thing, but still)
and like, katie calls me up this morning and is like "hey, we're gonna go get lunch and pick up our shirts that we ordered, since we need to do that by friday, or she's going to start giving them away". and i was like "frida... wha?!"
"yeah, it's on the message board downstairs, on the other side of the building"
"well, that's gonna help me a lot. you know what pisses me off? i sent her an email like a week ago, asking her when was a good time to pick it up, and she hasn't even replied to my message yet! and now she's threatening to give my shit away that i PAID FOR?!"
it's just little shit like that. always happening. homework assignments. get togethers. little shit. and i just hate that feeling of inescapable oblivion. it's not even blissful ignorance. it's the futile pursuit of enlightenment. and i hate the fact that it's futile. because apparently it's on a need to know basis, and i'm just not good enough to know. that's a sickening feeling. and i despise it.
thankfully it has not yet pervaded my consciousness completely. i've got many other, far better, feelings running around upstairs, to keep me good and distracted.
so, i have to finish two stats assignments, write a paper, lead a class discussion, do some german (but not much), vacuum, do laundry, clean the bathroom, fix the truck, get money, spend money, band practice tomorrow, hunter's party saturday, radio show friday, oodles of honors reading. and i have to clear out by 10pm on friday, since i didn't have a chance to fill out an extended stay form.
i'm trying really hard not to be angry, honest. it's just not working. time for food and loud music. then band tonight. but maybe i should get some pants on first...
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spud
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2006 27 February :: 2.10am
Aber, das war ein gut Wochenende, ich denke. Ich habe nicht gearbeitet. Ich habe immer etwas zu machen gehabt
Ich habe sehr viel Hausaufgaben für Deutsch. Acht Stunden bis morgen. Nicht lange.
: :
google it or something. see how bad my grammar really is.
: )
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spud
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2006 23 February :: 11.46am
thievery...
... with modifications, of course:
"
When you listen to the music and you like to sing along,
You want to get the meaning out of each and ev’ry song.
Then you find yourself a message and some words to call your own,
But don't go all alone; take them home.
Miffed again there is nothing I do;
Except for anything --- anything for you.
"
those were my favorites. and yes, i read the whole gol'durn thang.
last night was wonderful. i'm really quite a huge fan of cuddling. but my back is kind of upset with me. now i'm gonna hop in the shower, get some fresh clothes, make some lunch, and pretend i'm ready for this quiz. which, by the way - you know, in case you were wondering - i'm not.
: )
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spud
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2006 21 February :: 10.12pm
:: Mood: listless
:: Music: pink floyd - shine on you crazy diamond
cautionary tales of mischief and malevolence
garg. life hasn't been exceptionally hard lately, but i've been exceptionally slow. not stupid. just slow, if that makes sense.
another wonderful talk last night. that girl amazes me. and she listens, and doesn't stop me from rambling. which i keep telling her is dangerous. apparently she begs to differ.
i have a Deutsch Prüfung tomorrow at ten. that should be fun. but no class thurs. or fri. morning... das ist sehr gut. und mittwoch abend, ich will mit shannon treffen. ich treffe mit sie gern. wir sind fernsehen und Film sehen. das ist auch sehr gut.
oh, and i'm totally whoring up the intertron.
so, my woohu is spud.
my facebook is chris best
my myspace is chris
my open diary is space3monkey
my live journal is space3monkey
i still will only really use woohu. but i opened up the other ones to keep tabs on a certain someone.
oh and i'm also on the GVSU harry potter club boards. and mive, of course.
now i may NEVER EVER get anything done. maybe.
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